Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?
If it's of any comfort, you're going to regret it either way.

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. "I'm pregnant", "I want the house" or "Your money or your life"
Don't bother to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they will probably break your heart... if you don't, if the feeling is mutual they'll tell you the same in time anyway, so why risk it?

Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Good for you! See how many of your friends have ruined friendships by pouncing when interest was not reciprocated.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Don't commit yourself so soon, for in 20 years the hormones will have gone and you'll see just how much of an idiot you were - getting married at 18? Hah!

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all, since the guys who care too much get dumped for being nice guys, while the girls who do likewise get dumped after their boyfriends have had their maidenheads.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? You know how it goes: "For every winner, there are dozens are losers. Odds are you're one of them".

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But guess what? Everyone else is lying too! Every time we tell the truth, we get laughed at and humiliated.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Just don't blame me if you land in a pirahna-infested pool - after all: nothing ventured, nothing lost.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. Buy that $10,000 bottle of wine, go bareback the next time you visit Bangkok, or rob a bank today!

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? Writing sappy chain mails and annoying all your friends would be a good way to pass the time in-between crying.

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? A dog would be nice to have at night. At least it won't lie to you and run away with your money.

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore) If you needed to tell them, you musn't have been very good friends with them, must you?

What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? Stalking is always a good idea.

People live, but people die.
I want to tell you that you are in my email address book even though I either wouldn't recognise you if you came up to me on the street, or would love to stick a dagger into your back for the time you backstabbed me in third grade.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid - I might rather see your liver being eaten out by an eagle each day)
you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

If you care about me as much as I care about youÂ
 you will send this back, and we'll start an infinite loop that'll result in the Internet crashing

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. But remember: you can always spam someone's mailbox even if you have no idea who they are!

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. You have allowed me to practise self-indulgent emotional masturbation in a vacuum. Don't mind the cyber-seminal fluids.

I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you. And I have such conviction that I will say so in an email chain letter sent out to 200 people.

Send this to all your friends and enemies, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. It's as easy as clicking "Fwd"!

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will, unless Hotmail wipes your address book again.

Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and ..... always will.. Save this email so when you're hooked up to an assisted-breathing machine in 50 years time, you'll have something to read and do when your kids have run off with your retirement money.

I care about YOU!

(But I'd still rather have the unattainable, aloof and uninterested person described in the first half of this chain mail before I realised there was no hope and decided to bother all my acquaintances instead)


(One original version of this chain)