I say many wise things. Learn from them.
Note : All these are true quotes! I maintain I said all of these deliberately, since I'm so smart, but nobody believes me.
- I'm Tim the Great
- Pay homage to me
- Mailbomb me
- La la laaaaaaaaa (horribly)
- [To someone who dares challenge me] How dare you...
- Don't bother me
- I'm very tired
- You are forgiven, my child (said when I am in the wrong)
- I'm so smart, can't help it
- Dare you defy your king?
- Dammit, I'm smart.
- Damn game, man.
- [Alexander: Let's pick Tim for the speech competition] You pick me? I pick my nose.
- You can't contribute anything I already know
- If it's a second hand game played by me, then the price will increase.
- [To Gabriel] I don't think you can scream. [Gabriel Screams]
- Oh my goodness, I'm so good. Uhhh...
- Don't hug me.
- I don't study.
- I've nothing to do with my time anyway.
- [To Gabriel] You dream about this everyday.
- But who am I? (In mock contrition)
- I want to stone.
- Wah Lan!
- My piano playing very lousy. (playing is)
- I'm going to tickle you.
- You are weak, man.
- What the hell.
- I'm hungry... hungry...
- The piano is my chosen instrument.
- [Making an excuse for bad piano playing] that day I was so angry, then I anyhow bang
- [On when he said '6 choose 24, isn't it ridiculous'] I was drunk (Ed: As if)
- I'm hungry
- so tired... can't even sing properly (Ed: even when he's not tired...)
- You must be proud of yourself
- I really respect F Maths teachers (Maths C teachers are equally smart and qualified, and might even be more worthy of respect for teaching the 'stupider' single maths students)
- [Making excuses] Sometimes, I want to call you, then you call first, very irritating
- What would you do without me?
- [On what he said] That's good English. See, so smart.
- I won't oblige you.
- Uhhh... MC [Maths C] students.
- Sometimes I regret being so charming.
- [While playing Baldur's Gate II] My strength is 25... so low
- Are you talking to me? Can't be, you won't be so rude to your king.
- I am smart.
- You are an idiot lah, what kind of nonsense.
- I meant it to be quoted anyway, that's why I said it the way that I did.
- [On his game] I'm churning out stettlers like the sun (settlers.
- that's even more simpler (simple)
- We have English discussions to enrage our English (enrich)
- I don't care you
- do you know who Miss Lim was? (is)
- Healthy Choice TV Males (meals)
- from the neg down (neck)
- don't be... ow my gosh (oh)
- [On Gabriel and YC] both of your englishes is meidocre
- I can racket your conversations (record)
- you don't believe darm (done)
- I'm finding it to you (for)
- stockpile it in some nitch (niche)
- except unless I sing those types of songs (unless)
- you know what he was meaning (meant)
- you stored my anger (stoked)
- You hearded wrongly (heard)
- [Relating the storyline of Might and Magic] Queen Catherine gave him a shit (ship)
- I was drinking the malicious water (Malaysia's)
- we use this tactic to purify water (technique)
- maybe you'll grow in a green light (glow)
- He didn't find the Red Cross (found)
- You haven't leave yet (left)
- You go into the tavern and play the lewd (lute)
- this book has many sessions (sections)
- He has to retire now and then (soon)
- I did not deleted it (delete)
- You will get erodicated (eradicated)
- One comment which the principal said (made)
- Pahka'bell's Canon (Pachelbel)
- Maybe now I will do my waist (waves)
- Stinkquest (Thinkquest)
- Cap'priss'ses (Caprices)
- Peg'genini (Paganini)
- I guess I have sopoforic effect on her (soporific)
- in everywhere (everywhere)
- My teacher has went through (gone)
- got something wrong with me (there's)
- [On water bras] I suspect some people in my school are wearing it. Suddenly look bigger. (them. They)
- [On why the people in the jars in BG2's Spellhold die when Irenicus casts a lightning bolt] No, they could be dying because lack of oxygen (of a lack)
- You know sas'pair'ra? (sarsaparilla)
- You can hear the harpischord (harpsichord)
- [On Huixian] So sad, you spend half your weekly allowance on struddle (strudel)
- Karahan (Karajan - Herbert von Karajan)
- Rex Oedipus (Oedipus Rex)
- Your crusade against Muslim has gone too far already (Muslims)
- Is there an alternative pronounciation? (pronunciation)
- In 20 years time, we will look back at this [Timothy's Homepage], and
laugh. [Gabriel: How about now?] I'm very pissed.
- the 855 got angry (855 is a bus service number)
- We'll kill you till you die
- Tomorrow I am... Yes.
- because of that female woman
- the queen and his consort
- I'm going to kill that boat
- I healed my boat
- He told the bus
- Hi, hello, how are you? (rejoinder being Good morning, good afternoon and good night)
- You switch off the power buttons
- 6 choose 24, isn't it ridiculous?
- I was trying to pick up cookie slivers (crumbs)
- I don't know my address
- If you win little, you win much
- they should have a slit up their pants (skirts)
- all the false lies and rumours
- You are up your sleeves
- I only composed Pasigin (converted Pasigin to MIDI)
- That is really lame, but no comment
- [On a game] It's challenging because of the cheat codes
- [On YuCheng in THE Chinese High School] he has aluminium test tubes (test tube holders)
- and now I will play properly (when he loses a game)
- You know our friend Innocent the... Clement the... Ah! You know who
- William the Conqueror became Henry the...
- The present Sultan at that time
- One of them killed the computer
- Now I'll watch the battle, close my eyes
- I know how do everything, but I forgot (knew)
- One of my drinking cups can fill all the ingredients
- A hydrocarbon is 80% carbon [by mass], so 20% is oxygen
- He talked to me for one week
- You tripped over your tongue
- It reminds me of... I don't know what it reminds me of
- It's like volleyball, but it's different
- It has something to do with something
- HCJC Junior College (which comes to Hwa Chong Junior College Junior College)
- I was born to play games well
-You ask me to study, you are trying to drag me down (said during the exam period)
- I don't know where it is because I passed by it
- You haven't seen me relax yet (said during the exam period when playing)
- Dance music is loud and noisy
- I think I'm doomed to studying already (said during the exam period)
- I turned messages off, so my city burned down
- an expression will appear (?)
- [On Pharaoh] the limestone refuses to go across the river
- Was there anyone using the phone? [Gabriel: No.] So it must be you [who was using it].
- The God of War, you pray to him and your city gets destroyed [by invaders]
- I was talking about question 2, not question 2 but question 2
- I don't think I'll get an A1, but then I didn't put in A1 effort
- I don't use the tissue paper in my [school] toilet
- It's just a word : Timothy's Homepage
- When you take information from one source, it's called plagiarism. when you take information from twenty sources, it's called research.
- I came back at 6AM (6 PM)
- [On jerky] It tastes like denim
- Remember when we were took'ing A levels? (taking, O)
- I play to win, I don't play for fun. I play to win to disturb people.
- [Gabriel: Who do you play, Haplo ah?] Then? The dog ah? (Death Gate reference)
- He castrated her.
- What is the singular form of focus? (focus is the singular form already)
- [Gabriel: Who's Gracia?] Rebecca's brother.
- What's that? TBS's get lost party ah.
- A polymer is made up of many monomers [exam answer]
- Tell me your password and I'll change it for you
- The first time I played Melvin's Tay piece, I couldn't play it.
- Did you know that Bach composed the most songs? More than 1000 songs... He's mad. (Ed: Many were transcriptions of other works by him, or 'inspired' by other composers' tunes)
- And now, the most difficult person on earth. (person who composed the most difficult piano piece)
- He composes choral music as well. (the person in question dead)
- Russia [the state] does not exist. (said in Aug 2000)
- It wasn't cramped, it was cozy (talking about his old house)
- We're born on the same birthday (day)
- That was when she was castrated (double error - frustrated)
- [On his brother] He manufactures computers for others (assembles)
- You can hear her countenance changing (see)
- Then there's still breadth and width (depth)
- "Unlike you, you have but one life" (Quoting from Planescape : Torment)
- ASUREPAS - assure pass. Must be a Malay teacher who set it. But there are no Malay F Maths teachers. (Tim loves everyone)
- [To Gabriel] I have a theory. You called. Then Winamp crashed. You called, so TBS refused to sing.
- Voluptuous? Yun ah. Ooo laa laa...
- I got 10 A1s (points)
- That bloody Yucheng.
- Why would I insult myself?
- I miss ice-cream.
- Gurgled my saliva (choked on)
- Who's the most evil man of the 20th Century? Write about myself.
- Yah, don't study too much
- Sometimes, so crappy. Then we go "so crappy... so crappy..." Then I wonder, "Are all girls like that?"
- That sounds like a desperate person, "Can I have sex? Can I have sex?"
- [Gabriel: You're trying to confuse me.] Yah lah.
- I'm not that fat... anymore.
- A while ago... About 30 minutes.
- [While eating Mrs Fields' cookies] Ah. Cannot stand it. So good.
- You were too lazy not to study.
- Idiot (referring to himself)
- [Ostensibly trying to make a point] I was sighing because my hands were wet
- They just want sex. (Quoting from somewhere, on why girls get married)
- I'm going crazy. You're starting to make no sense again.
- [On Cantaloop ] You can hear the people going "yeah... yeah..." in the background.
- [On Wanlin] She's a cheerleader? How to become cheerleader? Must subscribe ah?
- [On being a cheerleader] You need to do splits? I thought you just need to stand on someone else.
- Don't buy so many chicken pies (when father brought 6 curry chicken pies home)
- I don't mind spoiling your hardware.
- Like that how to play modem game? (Tim plays with a cable modem)
- Just like I tell you: Hitler is born in Germany (He was actually born in Austria)
- What an ass. (refering to someone after him romantically)
- What an ass. (refering to TBS)
- You slim down, then your mouth will slim down.
- Then he grow a beard (on what TBS will do in America)
- You're very sad, you don't play politics.
- She looks misplaced... from Mars
- TBS refers to what... A type of game. Turn Based Strategy.
- [Gabriel: Why is the shell of the computer off?] So I can put my foot in.
- I'm sneezing, how can you take a picture of me.
- You never hear me typing... I use the mouse.
- Maybe I shouldn't take any more chocolates... How many have I eaten already?
- [On Gabriel] There are people weirder than you?
- [On his idiotic file names which irritate people] here.mp3? What's wrong? Very polite.
- [On Helmut Lotti] He sounds very arrogant.
- [On Vivaldi's "Spring"] If you hear it in the toilet too many times, you get a stomachace.
- [On Yucheng] I say he might not like porn, but I didn't say he doesn't.
- [On Pecking] Peck is no contact at all (it's the touch of lips to another person)
- [Gabriel: Let me give you a clue - she's in Humans] Then how can she like Chemistry?
- She smells of shampoo.
- [Making fun of Gabriel's "I'm agitated and I'm scanning"] I'm tall and I study in NJC. (short)
- Ooo, look, more blood, ooo.
- walk on foot (how else can one walk?)
- Ariel Sharon is black... oops. That's Kofi Annan.
- [On seeing the view of his bedroom window on his homepage] Not bad... not too bad. Looks like my house.
- [On Gabriel's Homepage] clear my history... Don't want to be seen visiting this page
- They are the same age as us... all your friends' pages
- [On A Conman In Tokyo] That must be one of the best films I ever watched
- [On A Conman In Tokyo] English crappy is worse than Chinese crappy... I think Chinese crappy is better
- [On his JC class' sense of humour] You know, that it's so bad that you just open your mouth and close it again
- This will characterise your feeling [Plays Weird Laugh from 'A Conman in Tokyo']
- [On the evil cult] I remember, last time, they murdered 'Ave Maria' because of the pronouns (pronunciation)
- I said they murdered RJ because of the sops [Me: They murdered RJ because of the sops?] I did not say that
- [To me] Can you quote yourself? 'Exsultatatae Deo' (It was actually spelt correctly as Exsultatae Deo)
- [On 'K' substituting 'C'] It's all Kombat's fault
- In NJ, we're very respectable
- If you can't remember, that means you're very sad... I can't remember, so I'm very sad
- [Making excuses] Sometimes, I want to call you, then you call first, very irritating
- [Gabriel: Do you know how Raffles Guys' selects debaters?] The most chio, so can distract people [Gabriel: I think I'll quote you on that] Can you sense the sarcasm?
- My brother, when he came back from NS that time. 'I want meat, char siew'... Here, have some sio bak
- Let me make an inappropriate remark
- [Gabriel on 'Civilization': Do you know which Civilisation is the best?] Zulus. [Gabriel: Why] Because I don't want to play against them
- The 'Psilons', I hope there's an 'l'
- [To Gabriel] From what you say, you only take the race because you don't like their graphics or music
- [Produces a ditty meant to be Russian music from 'Civilization'] Oh no, that's Tchaikovsky [Slave March]
- I only have 2 pairs of pants now... and 20 shirts
- [On 'Montagues and Capulets'] and its catapults, not 'Capulets'
- My English is bad, look at my SAT score (Ed: It was 690!)
- 'Turgid'. Haha, I know [the word], because I play Star Control... Mycon
- rainment... isn't that clothing? (raiment)
- [On 'Yver, vous n'estes qu'un villain'] You go and translate it into French lor (it is in French)
- Oh oh... Makoko (Mariko)
- Chicken pie... From Coronation, 8 dollars
- [On Lin Yucheng] He's trying to get himself arrested ah?
- Some guy in the US has 4 breasts, okay, okay...
- Ahh, ahh yes! I remembered my password... It was just a permutation of my old password
- [On JJ Mouret's Rondeau, music from 'Civilization'] Why are you listening to that? It reminds me of 'Colonization'.
- The water has ants in it, hmm.
- [Gabriel on 'Father of Charity and my father EE PENG LIANG' which I gave him: Is it a good book] I haven't read it
- But you protested, so gaining weight is good.
- [On 'A Conman from Tokyo'] I've watched it, how many times already.
- I'm eating chewing gum, from Japan
- Cast Silence 10 feet radius. I used to say 10 inch.
- My ECA is updating my homepage, it takes up a lot of time, you know.
- [On Oh-ah-peh-ah-song-ah-peh-ah-roti-prata-char-kway-teow] At least they didn't add anything to scissors-paper-stone
- The people downstairs are at it again. Roti prata and char kway teow.
- [Gabriel on Horse 's name: It's something like 'Faith'] Good works ah.
- Lim Yau's playing... Lim Yau's conducting
- [On Lim Yau's hair] I think it's a wig.
- [On someone's prize in a Maths Olympiad] Is it the toy dog? [Gabriel: No, it's a graphing calculator]
- I never scold people.
- [Gabriel: Yes?] No. [Gabriel: Huh?] You say yes, I say no.
- [Gabriel on African: Norlan] What's her real name?
- I shall evolve a new laugh.
- I must exercise, then I must bathe. Aiyah.
- I sue you, then you go to America and live with Gus Dur.
- I'm happier when I'm sick, so I don't need to go to school.
- This is disgusting, GP has screwed up my mind.
- It's been a long time since I jumped at the shock of a game
- Haha! I closed the door. Now he changed... Changed back to non-slayer.
- Aiyah, I keep on eating Cadbury Peppermints.
- Aiyah, getting fat.
- 22 Gig [shared by Gabriel]? That's more than the amount of space I have [on my hard disk].
- Oei. [Gabriel: What?] Nothing, I just said oei for fun
- TBS, the greatest man...
- TBS is my friend.
- I want to eat chicken nuggets.
- I want to go to Nooch. I want to eat ribs. I want brownie.
- I used to eat Toblerone when I was very young. That's why I became so fat.
- Everytime I start to bang the piano, the guy downstairs will start to play... One day I got fed-up. I opened the window and blasted Hammerklavier [mp3].
- We had some fun. Solving F-Maths problem.
- [On the cheer, Hualalalala! ] It's a very dumb cheer.
- [On the cheer, Oei! Oei! Sat sat! ] It's even worse than Hualalalala . At least that one makes sense.
- [On a talk by NUS lecturers which was given to both RJC and NJC] That's why I said, How come Gabriel knows about lift, thrust, weight and drag? [Gabriel: Because I went to the Science Centre when I was 5]
- [To Gabriel] I remember a lot of things you told me. Aren't you touched?
- There was this Indian girl. This Indian girl was like me when I was in Secondary School. Say 'Come' then I laugh.
- [Makes stupid remark] Ahh, my wit comes back.
- [On Baldur's Gate II] I don't understand why Grey Oozes have helmets.
- [To Gabriel on his list] You look at Ugly People more.
- 9 pretty? Are you sure? Then my hypothesis is very off.
- Jiggle. Hee hee hee hee hee hee.
- I'm just muttering inanities.
- [Gabriel: Just like 'Are you writing down every single thing I'm saying?'] I never regretted saying that. [Ed: He never said that]
- Where got such name? Elvenbead and Firehair.
- Okay, next time, Neverwinter Nights, I will call my character Elvenbead Firehair in honour of you.
- [On the above quote] Use NWN... nobody will know. You will get 200 messages, What is NWN?
- [Tries to make people think of 'the Underdark'] Underdeck... how do you get to the Underdeck? Get on a ship and go below.
- [On Straits Times columnists] I think all of them suck
- I was talking to my computer.
- You look very cute when you walk around.
- Goh Chok Tong, he can't tell good jokes, really.
- She topped the school lah, stupid girl.
- [Makes bad joke] I'm orthodox? No, I'm Roman Catholic.
- [On being 'Tim The Dirty'] My goodness, I was like that last time. So degenerate.
- [Gabriel: Puppy is someone who looks like a puppy] I could have guessed.
- Alan Shearer? The footballer or Yucheng?... Yucheng is Alan Shearer what... that's what he calls himself.
- Today I had 4 prata in the morning... and Fillet-o-fish... And kway teow [for lunch]. And I'm still hungry.
- [On the end of Baldur's Gate 2] He had a contingency, teleport to Hell when I die . Correct what, that's the only way to explain it.
- [To Gabriel] Aiyah, you ah. People wear culottes also cannot.
- Yaodong. Everyone knows him. I also know him. Now everyone in NJ will know him.
- [Agreeing with Gabriel on Irenicus] Oh, he became a rat.
- Everyone knows that Yucheng is Alan Shearer what.
- 'Lame lame lame, lame around', something like that.
- [On Yucheng's class homepage] I had a good impression of HCJC before you told me about this.
- [On Goldberg Variations] very lame song
- [On a misspelling by someone] Mozart, 'paino' concerto... oh well.
- [On Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini] So nice now, so many accidentals.
- [On soul stealing in Baldur's Gate II] Give the girl a guy's soul, then become a butch.
- Can you give me good sex jokes please?... Because I've been hearing bad ones all day, I haven't heard a good one in years
- 'Ouch'. 'Ouch' is a quote?
- [Gabriel on transport: How about calling the crabmobile?] Oh, a lorry?
- Crustaceans jokes, crapy humour
- RJ, most of the people wear pushup bras
- Jiggle comes from RGS? Maybe she wears a lousy bra.
- [On Culottes Girl's Boyfriend] I'll give you a clue. You know the male G-spot? There isn't one.
- Gone are the days when I used to tweak wave files
- Japanese is a dialect of Russian
- They sell those cookies from Australia from Taka.
- I'm really into good bras these days.
- I see 'thick' differently because I am an F Maths student.
- [On Huixian and Gabriel's music tastes] What's wrong with the 2 of you? Baroque is lousy
- What's your problem? Just because of me, you dislike all the Koreans. And I don't even dislike Koreans.
- Because TBS is a Korean too. Isn't TBS a Korean? [Gabriel: No] What do you mean no?
- a lot of young children in short skirts (???)
- [On a public phone] anyway, it's going to run out of battery
- [Yunxin walks away] uhh... Tall people
- [On Gabriel showing Huixian my quotes] now the sun will no longer rise and fall in my shadow.
- This isn't TBS song, it sounds so nice.
- Modern music still sounds like music, unless its Ligeti.
- [On the quote on Ligeti] He read it, then he email me, 'oei'. (If he reads, he will)
- Today I drank root beer again. Brandenburg. (Bundaburg)
- [Gabriel: What did you think of her at first?] Eee...
- [On Pavarotti] handkerchief man, when he can't reach a note, he drops the handkerchief and bends down, then as he bends down, he sings
- Almost everything is Halal nowadays.. and if America loses, the whole world will be Halaled
- United Arab Emirates? I thought that is an airline
- [On Mozart - Symphony No 40 in G Minor, K. 550, Movement 3 - Menuetto (Allegretto)] I think I'll call this the Lin Yucheng song... It's like Lin Yucheng, very lame.
- Basketball is not a game
- Running is not a game, maybe catching [is]
- I play diminished chords, I feel better.
- [Gabriel on Maths C S: I thought you all are FM students.] This one is pHD.
- [On Lin Yucheng] Maybe F Maths changed him
- I saw a lot of RJ people today. No what, not a lot chio
- [On some RJ people] Some of them smiled at me... Must be my hair ah
- [On RJ people not wearing multi-coloured undergarments] I went to look... Maybe I'm lousy... Not even one, so disappointed in you (Gabriel)
- That day my parents bought back instant noodles. I saw, Pork Rib instant noodles
- [Listens to Bach] Happy happy happy happy happy...
- Girls, ah, strange things
- [On why Gabriel doesn't do that well for GP] Because you know too much
- Osama bin Laden, 6 foot 6... Then half the caves cannot already
- Saddam Hussein is a Muslim?... Okay, that's a new one
- Maybe you should give TBS a Korean name
- Anita Sairerwhack (Sarawak)
- You are an idiot, you know
- You're so stupid
- I'm not as base as you think I am
- I'm not as stupid as you think I am
- [On Osama bin Laden] You take him to America, give him a sex change operation, paint him with pigs'... pig fat. You take him back to Afghanistan, he'll have to work as a slave girl
- [On RJC] That's the impression I get from you... One tenth of the population wears neon, or black
- There's probably only one harpsichord player in the whole world
- [On his J2 GP teacher's sarcasm] She's a very very very very very very good liar
- I didn't understand girls at that time, I still don't
- I was so arrogant, I'm still so arrogant... but not in the way that you claim
- [On Galvatron] It looks very vulgar, the cannon
- [On 2001 A Levels Maths C Paper 1] At first, I couldn't do some parts, so I left it blank... Do you know I couldn't do half the paper? (Ed: What a disgrace)
- [On Lin Yucheng] Does he know who I am?
- Fire extinguisher in RJ? RJ got fire extinguisher...
- [On Mat Yo Yo] How about 'Xuxa'? Xuxa is the best.
- [On Xuxa, the show with the cult of personality and 2 dumb people dressed as animals] I saw one Singaporean flag once...
- [On Xuxa] Susa in Malay means gone already... How can they chant that ah?
- [On Xuxa] That's why you don't see any people from Muslim countries
- [On 'Your crusade against Muslim has gone too far already'] I wouldn't make such a dumb mistake, really
- [On after A Levels Maths C Paper 1] I was half hoping to see him [Lin Yucheng], half hoping not to see him... because she was with me.
- Yah, Francis [Lee Quanxing]. Is he the one who owes me 20 cents?
- [To Gabriel] You should play more games
- [To Gabriel] You messaged me the moment I came online the moment I installed ICQ.
- [When his Baldur's Gate 2 party walked into a pool of lava] Ow ow ow ow ow.
- [On Gabriel's suggestion of hitting the Magic Golem with fists] Oh, you are so smart. It worked.
- [On iron deficiencies] That's why boys do better than girls in maths
- [On my father] Okay, now he's whistling. That's a bad sign.
- [On Eekia vs 'Horse'] He's a guy. Guys, only have a few looks... Girls come in many shapes and sizes
- Hrm, Act Cute 2. Do you have her current picture?
- [On JC] Guys look the same... I've not seen a girl who hasn't mutated
- [Me: Look at 189 (of the 2000 RGS Yearbook)] It says Raffles Strings. Where are you?
- Yankovich? Is that her name? The ugly girl.
- [On 'Horse' in her picture] She's quite happy
- [On 'Horse' in her other picture] What's that? A sea of girls... A girl beside a woman, with nice teeth
- [On 'Horse' in her other picture] She doesn't look like a horse lah. A horse has a long face.
- Today I was at Serene Centre, and I saw one of them [SCGS girls]... she was fat
- [On Grandfather story games] you throw a CD and then it expands and it crushes other people's foots
- Maybe one day I should go RJ, then go see how many people wear pushup bras... very interesting, a lot of them were wearing see through things... that was the busking day, we were at Nooch, looking down
- I know TK. TK is the kindergarten one
- [On Jeffery Au] He showed a picture of a hand getting cut off. All those gross pictures
- [On YC's Gah's + Crap Place's banner] It looks horrible. Oh yah, it's meant to be horrible. That means I succeeded.
- [On my list] You have an ugly girl fetish. Now it all makes sense.
- The only thing worse than a harpsichord is a synthesized harpsichord
- He likes MSG... MGS [Ed: Metal Gear Solid or Methodist Girls' School?]
- Anderson Secondary School, ASS.
- Sitoh Yi Pin, he can still smile. Maybe his wife and children were threatened
- [Makes Darksword reference] The Font has ears and eyes and a mouth. The ears have eyes.
- Let me ask you, which one sounds sleazier? [plays 2 jazzy chords]
- I'm not an ex
- [On someone] What the hell, stupid insinuation. I want to strangle her
- The only people who will say 'yipee' are the Telutubbies
- Sixteen dollars for a chick, I also want.
- [On TBS] He's a Korean. Koreans are rich.
- [On Poly] You can study Biz Ed, or Mass Com for the girls.
- You have a malay soundcard, then when you bring pork near, it will say 'haram'
- [To Gabriel] I've a song for your friend 'Horse'
- [On Guys in JC] Most of them are sexually deprived
- Why are you sending me so many pictures of Puppy? Are you trying to show me something? You like animals.
- [On my (un)obtrusively taken Prom shots with Julian's digital cameras] Wah lau, I pay for you to take photography lessons
- [On a photo] That is 11 year old girl? That doesn't look like a 11 year old girl.
- I want to see Lim Yau's hair again.
- [To Gabriel] I don't have a deprived childhood, until I met you (didn't)
- Do you know who Yasmine is?... Y-A-S-M-I-N-E... Yasmine is Borric's wife. I can remember rubbish like that.
- [On Carline] Car line. That's the way to pronounce it, of course.
- [Gabriel: You want to find porn ah?] Aha.
- [To Gabriel] What if you get attached to Garfieldy?.... You and Garfieldy... What's wrong with Garfieldy?... Nothing wrong.
- PTP? How can anyone enjoy that?
- Die also you get points. Dumb game.
- [To Gabriel] I have a bad feeling every time you type
- [On A Level Chemistry] First 3 months is just a revision of O Ievel stuff
- [In a wise voice, on PESC1L1 BMT] Have to pass IPPT
- I like army songs
- Lucky I'm a clerk.
- [On his church altos] They look altoish.
- [On a warrant officer] Sometimes, I look at her, I want to call her 'auntie'.
- I never got drunk (I've never gotten)
- [On his 'POP'] The CSM came in... 'Do you know who I am?' 'Yes Sir'... He told us some dirty jokes and went off
- i want to buy a tub of ben and jerry's and eat 1/2 of it in a day. (icq msg)
- Har? Lin Yucheng, OCS?
- [On falling asleep] You must take TEKONG medicine. Especially the cough medicine. The best, man.
- All the people who are called Jeffery in the Armed Forces are screwed up.
- [To Gabriel] You always call at bad times.
- If you're posted to Guards, I will take off my blue beret.
- [On the Discovery Channel] There are a lot of Africans on the TV now.
- [On his computer] And the idiotic Gator and the stupid Bonzi Buddy keep popping up.
- [To Gabriel] You made me laugh. You have done a 'good deed'. 'Good deed' is in capital letters.
- I'm glad I'm not a GEP
- Let me check the dictionary, just in case I am wrong as usual
- Ravel only composed 3 songs.
- [On Gabriel] How can you be too lazy to play games?... Jialat
- I remember when Lee Hsien Loong was a Colonel (holding the photograph of when)
- Maybe we should get one of those side scrollers. [Gabriel: But side scrollers are 2 player only] Then one person just gives advice and shouts.
- [On some page] Singapore. Chinese. RGS. Oh-kay, that explains it.
- [On the younger generation of Nanyang Girls] ... Yucheng trying to court one of them... Especially now that they've morphed into such things
- [On the younger generation of Nanyang Girls] Why do they all look like that? They all look like gam lan look. No more chic face.
- [On some webjournal] Thanks for making me disturbed. Now I'll try and forget it.
- The one star is a cock... He played golf then he injured himself.
- The colonel medic (medical officer)
- [Gabriel on 42SAR: Our toilets are very nice. Our shower cubicles have doors] Okay. What? WHAT?
- Why does she like someone in engine? What is wrong with Geraldine?
- I am in the army now. Excused thinking.
- Shit, I need to play more games.
- [On finding out how far Gabriel's camp is from Chua Chu Kang MRT] Whoa [Befuddled look].
- [On an email from him from pre-Army days with good English] I want to frame it up
- But then all malay songs start the same way. [Produces introduction to 'Majulah Singapura']
- [On the crazy queues] Yah lor, crazy, who wants to watch NDP?
- I'm going to learn Malay... Ayam is chicken right... Learn one animal a day.
- [On discharging the ammunition given for guard duty] I think a flag will come out
- Orgy with 20 RGS girls. All of them have [nick]names... You have a large frame, so it's possible... They all go back and wear their RGS outfits
- [To Gabriel] You'll make a good priest, you have a very bad sense of humour
- Choo Huey is my friend... I know him, he doesn't know me
- Your combat allowance is $150? Gah
- You should talk to wutien what. I think it will make you feel more miserable
- [On Orlando Bloom] Yes, he looks very gay... Shit.
- I think [John] Cage should be shot.
- [On the MGS motto] To Master boys and Serve yourself
- [On a picture of Ligeti] Is that Bach?... Cannot be. Handel? [Gabriel: He doesn't have a wig so he can't be Bach or Handel]
- [Tim to Gabriel on going online in camp] Yeah, why don't you... [Gabriel coughs] Oh, okay.
- Then the name - John... at the end of Planescape: Torment, all the hate mail... Put a poll, "What do you think his name should be?" Then you put "Agagooga", then everyone votes.
- [On naming the general in Shards of a Broken Crown 'Muhammad'] Cannot, then Raymond E Feist will be killed. But he has a beard, so it's ok.
- I'm very glad I didn't go to Chinese High
- [On YC's Gah + Crap Place's banner] I'm very proud of my picture
- She's poking me... irritatingly. [Gabriel: How can I poke you irritatingly?] You can't, you're a girl.
- what are you talking about.
is it the definition for Yu Cheng.
Yu Cheng - " Ridiculously unreasonable or uncustomary; absurd" (icq msg)
- Why do so many people like Geraldine?... Bomoh [witch doctor] ah?
- You used to irritate only 2 classes of people: Teachers and Tim.
- [The] Angklung: Malaysia's answer to the handbell... One whole row of people with Mahathir in the centre.
- [On The Girl With Flaxen Hair] When the French write music about young girls, it sounds very nice
- [On where The Associate went] Maybe he's selling prawn mee
- I don't have a very good impression of SCGS girls
- I asked you a very long time ago. What can change the nature of... No, I didn't ask you that.
- [On an email] Gabriel Seah. No subject. Probably a picture of a horse.
- I don't celebrate people's birthdays unless they're in August. I make an exception for my girlfriend.
- Literature teachers don't giggle... I have high opinions of literature teachers
- [On the commissioning of officers] All of them say, "level up"... Add one point to Yucheng. Intelligence - 4... [Me: It should be 'Wisdom'] Actually I wanted to say 'Charisma' but he has some kind of idiot charm.
- What's that? Taiwan National Anthem. Is it a Church Song?... Oh my goodness.
- [On Yucheng] 'I'll use my crap skill'... Then you see everyone, the "confused" symbol. Remember? Baldur's Gate.
- People with names like 'Judith' are usually debaters
- [On the AJC Class Photo] They don't look like horses. I don't know what horses look like... They don't have tails... They're wearing skirts.
- You're the only person I dare to speak Mandarin to... You're the only one who can understand my Mandarin.
- Suppose you tell your PC: I play 'Neopets'. Your PC is Lin Yucheng. 'Very good, very good. Have you heard of this program? Hunter-seeker?... Recommend you for OCS.'
- Lin Yucheng: 'I repeat everything twice. I repeat everything twice. I repeat everything twice.'... I miss him so much I'm making up things he would say. [Gabriel: Then why don't you call him?]
- I wonder why doctors aren't Halal
- Monica Bellucci is a porn star lah... She's got more class, cos she's French (Italian)
- [On a film name] 'Apartment Comma L Apostrephe'. French is such a cool language.
- If Shostakovich is playing Piano Concerto then I will go. (they are playing Shostakovich's)
- [On Secondary School life vs NUS life] life was good. i didn't know what orientalism was.
- [On imprecise use of the term 'white horse'] forgot i was talking to an arts student. i've gone back to using terms loosely. How liberating! (sms)
The Confusing Series
I have been laughing with The Person On Whose Page I Host Mine over the phone about how complex in chronology and names Capcom has made its series - Street Fighter and the VS Series (that's what we call it). Let me show you what I mean.
Street Fighter Series
Street Fighter 2
Street Fighter 2 - Hyper Fighting
Street Fighter 2 Turbo
Street Fighter 2 Turbo - Hyper Fighting
Super Street Fighter 2
Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo
Street Fighter Zero
Street Fighter Alpha
Street Fighter Zero 2
Street Fighter Zero 2 Alpha
Street Fighter the Movie
Street Fighter 3
Street Fighter 3 : Second Impact (Giant Attack)
Street Fighter 3 : Third Strike (Fight for the Future)
The VS Series
X-men Children of the atom (not actually related but we speculate it sparked
Marvel Super Heroes (All the Marvel Characters)
X-men VS Street Fighter
Marvel Superheroes VS Street Fighter
Marvel VS Capcom
Marvel VS Capcom 2
NB: Julian would like to point out that:
Street Fighter the MOVIE is NOT MADE BY CAPCOM!
ITS SACRILEGE! ITS RUBBISH! its junk! it has Jean Claude Van Damm in it! WTH?
In my supreme wisdom (coming from reading too much Sherlock Holmes, making me able to deduce things from bare scraps of information), I have made many observations. Here are some of them (for those relating to inter-personal relations and other sensitive topics, including school politics, please email firstname.lastname@example.org).
On Fake German:
If somebody speaks in imitation German, everybody can tell that he is a German. If he speaks in REAL German, nobody can tell.
What is Ze Question? (Fake German)
Ich bin Tim das große (Real German)
On Fake Indian:
Same as for fake German.
Villains always like to do certain things.
- live in damp, dark caves
- like darkness
- speak in raspy voices (very irritating)
- like the colours Red and Black
Real villains never do these things. They want to be unnoticed.
Women's magazines are about women. Men's magazines are about women.
To become a millionaire, just borrow 1 Million Dollars.
People who use computers never look good in Real Life, but only in movies. (look at me)
Why do people ask : Do you know why? Invariably, the person questioned never does.
Not all fantasies are about sex. Chicken Pie. (The mere mention of that makes me lubricate. Oops, wrong gender)
Being in the Top 10 means that you are 10th.
Unnecessary suspense results from, we were first..... runner up .
Many pretty people.
Land of the Buaya and Buayee.
On America's Funniest Videos:
It's either about people falling down (as observed by The Person On Whose Page I Host Mine), babies or animals.
It gets a solid 10/10 for gameplay.