Wisdom Dispensed by me - Quotes and Observations


Arrogant / Oft-uttered Quotes
Mispronunciation / Bad Grammar
Logical Flaws / Miscellaneous Quotes

The Confusing Series


Quotes from me

I say many wise things. Learn from them.

Note : All these are true quotes! I maintain I said all of these deliberately, since I'm so smart, but nobody believes me.


Arrogant / Oft-uttered Quotes
Mispronunciation / Bad Grammar
Logical Flaws / Miscellaneous Quotes


Arrogant / Oft-uttered Quotes

- I'm Tim the Great
- Pay homage to me
- Mailbomb me
- Gah!
- La la laaaaaaaaa (horribly)
- [To someone who dares challenge me] How dare you...
- Don't bother me
- I'm very tired
- Ouch!
- You are forgiven, my child (said when I am in the wrong)
- I'm so smart, can't help it
- Dare you defy your king?
- Dammit, I'm smart.
- Damn game, man.
- [Alexander: Let's pick Tim for the speech competition] You pick me? I pick my nose.
- You can't contribute anything I already know
- If it's a second hand game played by me, then the price will increase.
- [To Gabriel] I don't think you can scream. [Gabriel Screams]
- Oh my goodness, I'm so good. Uhhh...
- Don't hug me.
- I don't study.
- I've nothing to do with my time anyway.
- [To Gabriel] You dream about this everyday.
- But who am I? (In mock contrition)
- Fuck
- I want to stone.
- Wah Lan!
- My piano playing very lousy. (playing is)
- I'm going to tickle you.
- You are weak, man.
- What the hell.
- I'm hungry... hungry...
- The piano is my chosen instrument.
- [Making an excuse for bad piano playing] that day I was so angry, then I anyhow bang
- [On when he said '6 choose 24, isn't it ridiculous'] I was drunk (Ed: As if)
- I'm hungry
- so tired... can't even sing properly (Ed: even when he's not tired...)
- You must be proud of yourself
- I really respect F Maths teachers (Maths C teachers are equally smart and qualified, and might even be more worthy of respect for teaching the 'stupider' single maths students)
- [Making excuses] Sometimes, I want to call you, then you call first, very irritating
- What would you do without me?
- [On what he said] That's good English. See, so smart.
- I won't oblige you.
- Uhhh... MC [Maths C] students.
- Sometimes I regret being so charming.
- [While playing Baldur's Gate II] My strength is 25... so low
- Are you talking to me? Can't be, you won't be so rude to your king.
- I am smart.
- You are an idiot lah, what kind of nonsense.
- I meant it to be quoted anyway, that's why I said it the way that I did.



Mispronunciation / Grammar

- [On his game] I'm churning out stettlers like the sun (settlers. ?)
- that's even more simpler (simple)
- We have English discussions to enrage our English (enrich)
- I don't care you
- do you know who Miss Lim was? (is)
- Healthy Choice TV Males  (meals)
- from the neg down (neck)
- don't be... ow my gosh (oh)
- [On Gabriel and YC] both of your englishes is meidocre
- I can racket your conversations (record)
- you don't believe darm (done)
- I'm finding it to you (for)
- stockpile it in some nitch (niche)
- except unless I sing those types of songs (unless)
- you know what he was meaning (meant)
- you stored my anger (stoked)
- You hearded wrongly (heard)
- [Relating the storyline of Might and Magic] Queen Catherine gave him a shit (ship)
- I was drinking the malicious water (Malaysia's)
- we use this tactic to purify water (technique)
- maybe you'll grow in a green light (glow)
- He didn't find the Red Cross (found)
- You haven't leave yet (left)
- You go into the tavern and play the lewd (lute)
- this book has many sessions (sections)
- He has to retire now and then (soon)
- I did not deleted it (delete)
- You will get erodicated (eradicated)
- One comment which the principal said (made)
- Pahka'bell's Canon (Pachelbel)
- Maybe now I will do my waist (waves)
- Stinkquest (Thinkquest)
- Cap'priss'ses (Caprices)
- Peg'genini (Paganini)
- I guess I have sopoforic effect on her (soporific)
- in everywhere (everywhere)
- My teacher has went through (gone)
- got something wrong with me (there's)
- [On water bras] I suspect some people in my school are wearing it. Suddenly look bigger. (them. They)
- [On why the people in the jars in BG2's Spellhold die when Irenicus casts a lightning bolt] No, they could be dying because lack of oxygen (of a lack)
- You know sas'pair'ra? (sarsaparilla)
- You can hear the harpischord (harpsichord)
- [On Huixian] So sad, you spend half your weekly allowance on struddle (strudel)
- Karahan (Karajan - Herbert von Karajan)
- Rex Oedipus (Oedipus Rex)
- Your crusade against Muslim has gone too far already (Muslims)
- Is there an alternative pronounciation? (pronunciation)

Logical Flaws / Miscellaneous Quotes

- In 20 years time, we will look back at this [Timothy's Homepage], and laugh. [Gabriel: How about now?] I'm very pissed.
- the 855 got angry (855 is a bus service number)
- We'll kill you till you die
- Tomorrow I am... Yes.
- because of that female woman
- the queen and his consort
- I'm going to kill that boat
- I healed my boat
- He told the bus
- Hi, hello, how are you? (rejoinder being Good morning, good afternoon and good night)
- You switch off the power buttons
- 6 choose 24, isn't it ridiculous?
- I was trying to pick up cookie slivers (crumbs)
- I don't know my address
- If you win little, you win much
- they should have a slit up their pants (skirts)
- all the false lies and rumours
- You are up your sleeves
- I only composed Pasigin (converted Pasigin to MIDI)
- That is really lame, but no comment
- [On a game] It's challenging because of the cheat codes
- [On YuCheng in THE Chinese High School] he has aluminium test tubes (test tube holders)
- and now I will play properly (when he loses a game)
- You know our friend Innocent the... Clement the... Ah! You know who
- William the Conqueror became Henry the...
- The present Sultan at that time
- One of them killed the computer
- Now I'll watch the battle, close my eyes
- I know how do everything, but I forgot (knew)
- One of my drinking cups can fill all the ingredients
- A hydrocarbon is 80% carbon [by mass], so 20% is oxygen
- He talked to me for one week
- You tripped over your tongue
- It reminds me of... I don't know what it reminds me of
- It's like volleyball, but it's different
- It has something to do with something
- HCJC Junior College (which comes to Hwa Chong Junior College Junior College)
- I was born to play games well
-You ask me to study, you are trying to drag me down (said during the exam period)
- I don't know where it is because I passed by it
- You haven't seen me relax yet (said during the exam period when playing)
- Dance music is loud and noisy
- I think I'm doomed to studying already (said during the exam period)
- I turned messages off, so my city burned down
- an expression will appear (?)
- [On Pharaoh] the limestone refuses to go across the river
- Was there anyone using the phone? [Gabriel: No.] So it must be you [who was using it].
- The God of War, you pray to him and your city gets destroyed [by invaders]
- I was talking about question 2, not question 2 but question 2
- I don't think I'll get an A1, but then I didn't put in A1 effort
- I don't use the tissue paper in my [school] toilet
- It's just a word : Timothy's Homepage
- When you take information from one source, it's called plagiarism. when you take information from twenty sources, it's called research.
- I came back at 6AM (6 PM)
- [On jerky] It tastes like denim
- Remember when we were took'ing A levels? (taking, O)
- I play to win, I don't play for fun. I play to win to disturb people.
- [Gabriel: Who do you play, Haplo ah?] Then? The dog ah? (Death Gate reference)
- He castrated her.
- What is the singular form of focus? (focus is the singular form already)
- [Gabriel: Who's Gracia?] Rebecca's brother.
- What's that? TBS's get lost party ah.
- A polymer is made up of many monomers [exam answer]
- Tell me your password and I'll change it for you
- The first time I played Melvin's Tay piece, I couldn't play it.
- Did you know that Bach composed the most songs? More than 1000 songs... He's mad. (Ed: Many were transcriptions of other works by him, or 'inspired' by other composers' tunes)
- And now, the most difficult person on earth. (person who composed the most difficult piano piece)
- He composes choral music as well. (the person in question dead)
- Russia [the state] does not exist. (said in Aug 2000)
- It wasn't cramped, it was cozy (talking about his old house)
- We're born on the same birthday (day)
- That was when she was castrated (double error - frustrated)
- [On his brother] He manufactures computers for others (assembles)
- You can hear her countenance changing (see)
- Then there's still breadth and width (depth)
- "Unlike you, you have but one life" (Quoting from Planescape : Torment)
- ASUREPAS - assure pass. Must be a Malay teacher who set it. But there are no Malay F Maths teachers. (Tim loves everyone)
- [To Gabriel] I have a theory. You called. Then Winamp crashed. You called, so TBS refused to sing.
- Voluptuous? Yun ah. Ooo laa laa...
- I got 10 A1s (points)
- That bloody Yucheng.
- Why would I insult myself?
- I miss ice-cream.
- Gurgled my saliva (choked on)
- Who's the most evil man of the 20th Century? Write about myself.
- Yah, don't study too much
- Sometimes, so crappy. Then we go "so crappy... so crappy..." Then I wonder, "Are all girls like that?"
- That sounds like a desperate person, "Can I have sex? Can I have sex?"
- [Gabriel: You're trying to confuse me.] Yah lah.
- I'm not that fat... anymore.
- A while ago... About 30 minutes.
- [While eating Mrs Fields' cookies] Ah. Cannot stand it. So good.
- You were too lazy not to study.
- Idiot (referring to himself)
- [Ostensibly trying to make a point] I was sighing because my hands were wet
- They just want sex. (Quoting from somewhere, on why girls get married)
- I'm going crazy. You're starting to make no sense again.
- [On Cantaloop ] You can hear the people going "yeah... yeah..." in the background.
- [On Wanlin] She's a cheerleader? How to become cheerleader? Must subscribe ah?
- [On being a cheerleader] You need to do splits? I thought you just need to stand on someone else.
- Don't buy so many chicken pies (when father brought 6 curry chicken pies home)
- I don't mind spoiling your hardware.
- Like that how to play modem game? (Tim plays with a cable modem)
- Just like I tell you: Hitler is born in Germany (He was actually born in Austria)
- What an ass. (refering to someone after him romantically)
- What an ass. (refering to TBS)
- You slim down, then your mouth will slim down.
- Then he grow a beard (on what TBS will do in America)
- You're very sad, you don't play politics.
- She looks misplaced... from Mars
- TBS refers to what... A type of game. Turn Based Strategy.
- [Gabriel: Why is the shell of the computer off?] So I can put my foot in.
- I'm sneezing, how can you take a picture of me.
- You never hear me typing... I use the mouse.
- Maybe I shouldn't take any more chocolates... How many have I eaten already?
- [On Gabriel] There are people weirder than you?
- [On his idiotic file names which irritate people] here.mp3? What's wrong? Very polite.
- [On Helmut Lotti] He sounds very arrogant.
- [On Vivaldi's "Spring"] If you hear it in the toilet too many times, you get a stomachace.
- [On Yucheng] I say he might not like porn, but I didn't say he doesn't.
- [On Pecking] Peck is no contact at all (it's the touch of lips to another person)
- [Gabriel: Let me give you a clue - she's in Humans] Then how can she like Chemistry?
- She smells of shampoo.
- [Making fun of Gabriel's "I'm agitated and I'm scanning"] I'm tall and I study in NJC. (short)
- Ooo, look, more blood, ooo.
- walk on foot (how else can one walk?)
- Ariel Sharon is black... oops. That's Kofi Annan.
- [On seeing the view of his bedroom window on his homepage] Not bad... not too bad. Looks like my house.
- [On Gabriel's Homepage] clear my history... Don't want to be seen visiting this page
- They are the same age as us... all your friends' pages
- [On A Conman In Tokyo] That must be one of the best films I ever watched
- [On A Conman In Tokyo] English crappy is worse than Chinese crappy... I think Chinese crappy is better
- [On his JC class' sense of humour] You know, that it's so bad that you just open your mouth and close it again
- This will characterise your feeling [Plays Weird Laugh from 'A Conman in Tokyo']
- [On the evil cult] I remember, last time, they murdered 'Ave Maria' because of the pronouns (pronunciation)
- I said they murdered RJ because of the sops [Me: They murdered RJ because of the sops?] I did not say that
- [To me] Can you quote yourself? 'Exsultatatae Deo' (It was actually spelt correctly as Exsultatae Deo)
- [On 'K' substituting 'C'] It's all Kombat's fault
- In NJ, we're very respectable
- If you can't remember, that means you're very sad... I can't remember, so I'm very sad
- [Making excuses] Sometimes, I want to call you, then you call first, very irritating
- [Gabriel: Do you know how Raffles Guys' selects debaters?] The most chio, so can distract people [Gabriel: I think I'll quote you on that] Can you sense the sarcasm?
- My brother, when he came back from NS that time. 'I want meat, char siew'... Here, have some sio bak
- Let me make an inappropriate remark
- [Gabriel on 'Civilization': Do you know which Civilisation is the best?] Zulus. [Gabriel: Why] Because I don't want to play against them
- The 'Psilons', I hope there's an 'l'
- [To Gabriel] From what you say, you only take the race because you don't like their graphics or music
- [Produces a ditty meant to be Russian music from 'Civilization'] Oh no, that's Tchaikovsky [Slave March]
- I only have 2 pairs of pants now... and 20 shirts
- [On 'Montagues and Capulets'] and its catapults, not 'Capulets'
- My English is bad, look at my SAT score (Ed: It was 690!)
- 'Turgid'. Haha, I know [the word], because I play Star Control... Mycon
- rainment... isn't that clothing? (raiment)
- [On 'Yver, vous n'estes qu'un villain'] You go and translate it into French lor (it is in French)
- Oh oh... Makoko (Mariko)
- Chicken pie... From Coronation, 8 dollars
- [On Lin Yucheng] He's trying to get himself arrested ah?
- Some guy in the US has 4 breasts, okay, okay...
- Ahh, ahh yes! I remembered my password... It was just a permutation of my old password
- [On JJ Mouret's Rondeau, music from 'Civilization'] Why are you listening to that? It reminds me of 'Colonization'.
- The water has ants in it, hmm.
- [Gabriel on 'Father of Charity and my father EE PENG LIANG' which I gave him: Is it a good book] I haven't read it
- But you protested, so gaining weight is good.
- [On 'A Conman from Tokyo'] I've watched it, how many times already.
- I'm eating chewing gum, from Japan
- Cast Silence 10 feet radius. I used to say 10 inch.
- My ECA is updating my homepage, it takes up a lot of time, you know.
- [On Oh-ah-peh-ah-song-ah-peh-ah-roti-prata-char-kway-teow] At least they didn't add anything to scissors-paper-stone
- The people downstairs are at it again. Roti prata and char kway teow.
- [Gabriel on Horse 's name: It's something like 'Faith'] Good works ah.
- Lim Yau's playing... Lim Yau's conducting
- [On Lim Yau's hair] I think it's a wig.
- [On someone's prize in a Maths Olympiad] Is it the toy dog? [Gabriel: No, it's a graphing calculator]
- I never scold people.
- [Gabriel: Yes?] No. [Gabriel: Huh?] You say yes, I say no.
- [Gabriel on African: Norlan] What's her real name?
- I shall evolve a new laugh.
- I must exercise, then I must bathe. Aiyah.
- I sue you, then you go to America and live with Gus Dur.
- I'm happier when I'm sick, so I don't need to go to school.
- This is disgusting, GP has screwed up my mind.
- It's been a long time since I jumped at the shock of a game
- Haha! I closed the door. Now he changed... Changed back to non-slayer.
- Aiyah, I keep on eating Cadbury Peppermints.
- Aiyah, getting fat.
- 22 Gig [shared by Gabriel]? That's more than the amount of space I have [on my hard disk].
- Oei. [Gabriel: What?] Nothing, I just said oei for fun
- TBS, the greatest man...
- TBS is my friend.
- I want to eat chicken nuggets.
- I want to go to Nooch. I want to eat ribs. I want brownie.
- I used to eat Toblerone when I was very young. That's why I became so fat.
- Everytime I start to bang the piano, the guy downstairs will start to play... One day I got fed-up. I opened the window and blasted Hammerklavier [mp3].
- We had some fun. Solving F-Maths problem.
- [On the cheer, Hualalalala! ] It's a very dumb cheer.
- [On the cheer, Oei! Oei! Sat sat! ] It's even worse than Hualalalala . At least that one makes sense.
- [On a talk by NUS lecturers which was given to both RJC and NJC] That's why I said, How come Gabriel knows about lift, thrust, weight and drag? [Gabriel: Because I went to the Science Centre when I was 5]
- [To Gabriel] I remember a lot of things you told me. Aren't you touched?
- There was this Indian girl. This Indian girl was like me when I was in Secondary School. Say 'Come' then I laugh.
- [Makes stupid remark] Ahh, my wit comes back.
- [On Baldur's Gate II] I don't understand why Grey Oozes have helmets.
- [To Gabriel on his list] You look at Ugly People more.
- 9 pretty? Are you sure? Then my hypothesis is very off.
- Jiggle. Hee hee hee hee hee hee.
- I'm just muttering inanities.
- [Gabriel: Just like 'Are you writing down every single thing I'm saying?'] I never regretted saying that. [Ed: He never said that]
- Where got such name? Elvenbead and Firehair.
- Okay, next time, Neverwinter Nights, I will call my character Elvenbead Firehair in honour of you.
- [On the above quote] Use NWN... nobody will know. You will get 200 messages, What is NWN?
- [Tries to make people think of 'the Underdark'] Underdeck... how do you get to the Underdeck? Get on a ship and go below.
- [On Straits Times columnists] I think all of them suck
- I was talking to my computer.
- You look very cute when you walk around.
- Goh Chok Tong, he can't tell good jokes, really.
- She topped the school lah, stupid girl.
- [Makes bad joke] I'm orthodox? No, I'm Roman Catholic.
- [On being 'Tim The Dirty'] My goodness, I was like that last time. So degenerate.
- [Gabriel: Puppy is someone who looks like a puppy] I could have guessed.
- Alan Shearer? The footballer or Yucheng?... Yucheng is Alan Shearer what... that's what he calls himself.
- Today I had 4 prata in the morning... and Fillet-o-fish... And kway teow [for lunch]. And I'm still hungry.
- [On the end of Baldur's Gate 2] He had a contingency, teleport to Hell when I die . Correct what, that's the only way to explain it.
- [To Gabriel] Aiyah, you ah. People wear culottes also cannot.
- Yaodong. Everyone knows him. I also know him. Now everyone in NJ will know him.
- [Agreeing with Gabriel on Irenicus] Oh, he became a rat.
- Everyone knows that Yucheng is Alan Shearer what.
- 'Lame lame lame, lame around', something like that.
- [On Yucheng's class homepage] I had a good impression of HCJC before you told me about this.
- [On Goldberg Variations] very lame song
- [On a misspelling by someone] Mozart, 'paino' concerto... oh well.
- [On Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini] So nice now, so many accidentals.
- [On soul stealing in Baldur's Gate II] Give the girl a guy's soul, then become a butch.
- Can you give me good sex jokes please?... Because I've been hearing bad ones all day, I haven't heard a good one in years
- 'Ouch'. 'Ouch' is a quote?
- [Gabriel on transport: How about calling the crabmobile?] Oh, a lorry?
- Crustaceans jokes, crapy humour
- RJ, most of the people wear pushup bras
- Jiggle comes from RGS? Maybe she wears a lousy bra.
- [On Culottes Girl's Boyfriend] I'll give you a clue. You know the male G-spot? There isn't one.
- Gone are the days when I used to tweak wave files
- Japanese is a dialect of Russian
- They sell those cookies from Australia from Taka.
- I'm really into good bras these days.
- I see 'thick' differently because I am an F Maths student.
- [On Huixian and Gabriel's music tastes] What's wrong with the 2 of you? Baroque is lousy
- What's your problem? Just because of me, you dislike all the Koreans. And I don't even dislike Koreans.
- Because TBS is a Korean too. Isn't TBS a Korean? [Gabriel: No] What do you mean no?
- a lot of young children in short skirts (???)
- [On a public phone] anyway, it's going to run out of battery
- [Yunxin walks away] uhh... Tall people
- [On Gabriel showing Huixian my quotes] now the sun will no longer rise and fall in my shadow.
- This isn't TBS song, it sounds so nice.
- Modern music still sounds like music, unless its Ligeti.
- [On the quote on Ligeti] He read it, then he email me, 'oei'. (If he reads, he will)
- Today I drank root beer again. Brandenburg. (Bundaburg)
- [Gabriel: What did you think of her at first?] Eee...
- [On Pavarotti] handkerchief man, when he can't reach a note, he drops the handkerchief and bends down, then as he bends down, he sings
- Almost everything is Halal nowadays.. and if America loses, the whole world will be Halaled
- United Arab Emirates? I thought that is an airline
- [On Mozart - Symphony No 40 in G Minor, K. 550, Movement 3 - Menuetto (Allegretto)] I think I'll call this the Lin Yucheng song... It's like Lin Yucheng, very lame.
- Basketball is not a game
- Running is not a game, maybe catching [is]
- I play diminished chords, I feel better.
- [Gabriel on Maths C S: I thought you all are FM students.] This one is pHD.
- [On Lin Yucheng] Maybe F Maths changed him
- I saw a lot of RJ people today. No what, not a lot chio
- [On some RJ people] Some of them smiled at me... Must be my hair ah
- [On RJ people not wearing multi-coloured undergarments] I went to look... Maybe I'm lousy... Not even one, so disappointed in you (Gabriel)
- That day my parents bought back instant noodles. I saw, Pork Rib instant noodles
- [Listens to Bach] Happy happy happy happy happy...
- Girls, ah, strange things
- [On why Gabriel doesn't do that well for GP] Because you know too much
- Osama bin Laden, 6 foot 6... Then half the caves cannot already
- Saddam Hussein is a Muslim?... Okay, that's a new one
- Maybe you should give TBS a Korean name
- Anita Sairerwhack (Sarawak)
- You are an idiot, you know
- You're so stupid
- I'm not as base as you think I am
- I'm not as stupid as you think I am
- [On Osama bin Laden] You take him to America, give him a sex change operation, paint him with pigs'... pig fat. You take him back to Afghanistan, he'll have to work as a slave girl
- [On RJC] That's the impression I get from you... One tenth of the population wears neon, or black
- There's probably only one harpsichord player in the whole world
- [On his J2 GP teacher's sarcasm] She's a very very very very very very good liar
- I didn't understand girls at that time, I still don't
- I was so arrogant, I'm still so arrogant... but not in the way that you claim
- [On Galvatron] It looks very vulgar, the cannon
- [On 2001 A Levels Maths C Paper 1] At first, I couldn't do some parts, so I left it blank... Do you know I couldn't do half the paper? (Ed: What a disgrace)
- [On Lin Yucheng] Does he know who I am?
- Fire extinguisher in RJ? RJ got fire extinguisher...
- [On Mat Yo Yo] How about 'Xuxa'? Xuxa is the best.
- [On Xuxa, the show with the cult of personality and 2 dumb people dressed as animals] I saw one Singaporean flag once...
- [On Xuxa] Susa in Malay means gone already... How can they chant that ah?
- [On Xuxa] That's why you don't see any people from Muslim countries
- [On 'Your crusade against Muslim has gone too far already'] I wouldn't make such a dumb mistake, really
- [On after A Levels Maths C Paper 1] I was half hoping to see him [Lin Yucheng], half hoping not to see him... because she was with me.
- Yah, Francis [Lee Quanxing]. Is he the one who owes me 20 cents?
- [To Gabriel] You should play more games
- [To Gabriel] You messaged me the moment I came online the moment I installed ICQ.
- [When his Baldur's Gate 2 party walked into a pool of lava] Ow ow ow ow ow.
- [On Gabriel's suggestion of hitting the Magic Golem with fists] Oh, you are so smart. It worked.
- [On iron deficiencies] That's why boys do better than girls in maths
- [On my father] Okay, now he's whistling. That's a bad sign.
- [On Eekia vs 'Horse'] He's a guy. Guys, only have a few looks... Girls come in many shapes and sizes
- Hrm, Act Cute 2. Do you have her current picture?
- [On JC] Guys look the same... I've not seen a girl who hasn't mutated
- [Me: Look at 189 (of the 2000 RGS Yearbook)] It says Raffles Strings. Where are you?
- Yankovich? Is that her name? The ugly girl.
- [On 'Horse' in her picture] She's quite happy
- [On 'Horse' in her other picture] What's that? A sea of girls... A girl beside a woman, with nice teeth
- [On 'Horse' in her other picture] She doesn't look like a horse lah. A horse has a long face.
- Today I was at Serene Centre, and I saw one of them [SCGS girls]... she was fat
- [On Grandfather story games] you throw a CD and then it expands and it crushes other people's foots
- Maybe one day I should go RJ, then go see how many people wear pushup bras... very interesting, a lot of them were wearing see through things... that was the busking day, we were at Nooch, looking down
- I know TK. TK is the kindergarten one
- [On Jeffery Au] He showed a picture of a hand getting cut off. All those gross pictures
- [On YC's Gah's + Crap Place's banner] It looks horrible. Oh yah, it's meant to be horrible. That means I succeeded.
- [On my list] You have an ugly girl fetish. Now it all makes sense.
- The only thing worse than a harpsichord is a synthesized harpsichord
- He likes MSG... MGS [Ed: Metal Gear Solid or Methodist Girls' School?]
- Anderson Secondary School, ASS.
- Sitoh Yi Pin, he can still smile. Maybe his wife and children were threatened
- [Makes Darksword reference] The Font has ears and eyes and a mouth. The ears have eyes.
- Let me ask you, which one sounds sleazier? [plays 2 jazzy chords]
- I'm not an ex
- [On someone] What the hell, stupid insinuation. I want to strangle her
- The only people who will say 'yipee' are the Telutubbies
- Sixteen dollars for a chick, I also want.
- [On TBS] He's a Korean. Koreans are rich.
- [On Poly] You can study Biz Ed, or Mass Com for the girls.
- You have a malay soundcard, then when you bring pork near, it will say 'haram'
- [To Gabriel] I've a song for your friend 'Horse'
- [On Guys in JC] Most of them are sexually deprived
- Why are you sending me so many pictures of Puppy? Are you trying to show me something? You like animals.
- [On my (un)obtrusively taken Prom shots with Julian's digital cameras] Wah lau, I pay for you to take photography lessons
- [On a photo] That is 11 year old girl? That doesn't look like a 11 year old girl.
- I want to see Lim Yau's hair again.
- [To Gabriel] I don't have a deprived childhood, until I met you (didn't)
- Do you know who Yasmine is?... Y-A-S-M-I-N-E... Yasmine is Borric's wife. I can remember rubbish like that.
- [On Carline] Car line. That's the way to pronounce it, of course.
- [Gabriel: You want to find porn ah?] Aha.
- [To Gabriel] What if you get attached to Garfieldy?.... You and Garfieldy... What's wrong with Garfieldy?... Nothing wrong.
- PTP? How can anyone enjoy that?
- Die also you get points. Dumb game.
- [To Gabriel] I have a bad feeling every time you type
- [On A Level Chemistry] First 3 months is just a revision of O Ievel stuff
- [In a wise voice, on PESC1L1 BMT] Have to pass IPPT
- I like army songs
- Lucky I'm a clerk.
- [On his church altos] They look altoish.
- [On a warrant officer] Sometimes, I look at her, I want to call her 'auntie'.
- I never got drunk (I've never gotten)
- [On his 'POP'] The CSM came in... 'Do you know who I am?' 'Yes Sir'... He told us some dirty jokes and went off
- i want to buy a tub of ben and jerry's and eat 1/2 of it in a day. (icq msg)
- Har? Lin Yucheng, OCS?
- [On falling asleep] You must take TEKONG medicine. Especially the cough medicine. The best, man.
- All the people who are called Jeffery in the Armed Forces are screwed up.
- [To Gabriel] You always call at bad times.
- If you're posted to Guards, I will take off my blue beret.
- [On the Discovery Channel] There are a lot of Africans on the TV now.
- [On his computer] And the idiotic Gator and the stupid Bonzi Buddy keep popping up.
- [To Gabriel] You made me laugh. You have done a 'good deed'. 'Good deed' is in capital letters.
- I'm glad I'm not a GEP
- Let me check the dictionary, just in case I am wrong as usual
- Ravel only composed 3 songs.
- [On Gabriel] How can you be too lazy to play games?... Jialat
- I remember when Lee Hsien Loong was a Colonel (holding the photograph of when)
- Maybe we should get one of those side scrollers. [Gabriel: But side scrollers are 2 player only] Then one person just gives advice and shouts.
- [On some page] Singapore. Chinese. RGS. Oh-kay, that explains it.
- [On the younger generation of Nanyang Girls] ... Yucheng trying to court one of them... Especially now that they've morphed into such things
- [On the younger generation of Nanyang Girls] Why do they all look like that? They all look like gam lan look. No more chic face.
- [On some webjournal] Thanks for making me disturbed. Now I'll try and forget it.
- The one star is a cock... He played golf then he injured himself.
- The colonel medic (medical officer)
- [Gabriel on 42SAR: Our toilets are very nice. Our shower cubicles have doors] Okay. What? WHAT?
- Why does she like someone in engine? What is wrong with Geraldine?
- I am in the army now. Excused thinking.
- Shit, I need to play more games.
- [On finding out how far Gabriel's camp is from Chua Chu Kang MRT] Whoa [Befuddled look].
- [On an email from him from pre-Army days with good English] I want to frame it up
- But then all malay songs start the same way. [Produces introduction to 'Majulah Singapura']
- [On the crazy queues] Yah lor, crazy, who wants to watch NDP?
- I'm going to learn Malay... Ayam is chicken right... Learn one animal a day.
- [On discharging the ammunition given for guard duty] I think a flag will come out
- Orgy with 20 RGS girls. All of them have [nick]names... You have a large frame, so it's possible... They all go back and wear their RGS outfits
- [To Gabriel] You'll make a good priest, you have a very bad sense of humour
- Choo Huey is my friend... I know him, he doesn't know me
- Your combat allowance is $150? Gah
- You should talk to wutien what. I think it will make you feel more miserable
- [On Orlando Bloom] Yes, he looks very gay... Shit.
- I think [John] Cage should be shot.
- [On the MGS motto] To Master boys and Serve yourself
- [On a picture of Ligeti] Is that Bach?... Cannot be. Handel? [Gabriel: He doesn't have a wig so he can't be Bach or Handel]
- [Tim to Gabriel on going online in camp] Yeah, why don't you... [Gabriel coughs] Oh, okay.
- Then the name - John... at the end of Planescape: Torment, all the hate mail... Put a poll, "What do you think his name should be?" Then you put "Agagooga", then everyone votes.
- [On naming the general in Shards of a Broken Crown 'Muhammad'] Cannot, then Raymond E Feist will be killed. But he has a beard, so it's ok.
- I'm very glad I didn't go to Chinese High
- [On YC's Gah + Crap Place's banner] I'm very proud of my picture
- She's poking me... irritatingly. [Gabriel: How can I poke you irritatingly?] You can't, you're a girl.
- what are you talking about.
is it the definition for Yu Cheng.
Yu Cheng - " Ridiculously unreasonable or uncustomary; absurd" (icq msg)
- Why do so many people like Geraldine?... Bomoh [witch doctor] ah?
- You used to irritate only 2 classes of people: Teachers and Tim.
- [The] Angklung: Malaysia's answer to the handbell... One whole row of people with Mahathir in the centre.
- [On The Girl With Flaxen Hair] When the French write music about young girls, it sounds very nice
- [On where The Associate went] Maybe he's selling prawn mee
- I don't have a very good impression of SCGS girls
- I asked you a very long time ago. What can change the nature of... No, I didn't ask you that.
- [On an email] Gabriel Seah. No subject. Probably a picture of a horse.
- I don't celebrate people's birthdays unless they're in August. I make an exception for my girlfriend.
- Literature teachers don't giggle... I have high opinions of literature teachers
- [On the commissioning of officers] All of them say, "level up"... Add one point to Yucheng. Intelligence - 4... [Me: It should be 'Wisdom'] Actually I wanted to say 'Charisma' but he has some kind of idiot charm.
- What's that? Taiwan National Anthem. Is it a Church Song?... Oh my goodness.
- [On Yucheng] 'I'll use my crap skill'... Then you see everyone, the "confused" symbol. Remember? Baldur's Gate.
- People with names like 'Judith' are usually debaters
- [On the AJC Class Photo] They don't look like horses. I don't know what horses look like... They don't have tails... They're wearing skirts.
- You're the only person I dare to speak Mandarin to... You're the only one who can understand my Mandarin.
- Suppose you tell your PC: I play 'Neopets'. Your PC is Lin Yucheng. 'Very good, very good. Have you heard of this program? Hunter-seeker?... Recommend you for OCS.'
- Lin Yucheng: 'I repeat everything twice. I repeat everything twice. I repeat everything twice.'... I miss him so much I'm making up things he would say. [Gabriel: Then why don't you call him?]
- I wonder why doctors aren't Halal
- Monica Bellucci is a porn star lah... She's got more class, cos she's French (Italian)
- [On a film name] 'Apartment Comma L Apostrephe'. French is such a cool language.
- If Shostakovich is playing Piano Concerto then I will go. (they are playing Shostakovich's)
- [On Secondary School life vs NUS life] life was good. i didn't know what orientalism was.
- [On imprecise use of the term 'white horse'] forgot i was talking to an arts student. i've gone back to using terms loosely. How liberating! (sms)

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The Confusing Series

I have been laughing with The Person On Whose Page I Host Mine over the phone about how complex in chronology and names Capcom has made its series - Street Fighter and the VS Series (that's what we call it). Let me show you what I mean.

Street Fighter Series

Street Fighter
Street Fighter 2
Street Fighter 2 - Hyper Fighting
Street Fighter 2 Turbo
Street Fighter 2 Turbo - Hyper Fighting
Super Street Fighter 2
Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo
Street Fighter Zero
Street Fighter Alpha
Street Fighter Zero 2
Street Fighter Zero 2 Alpha
Street Fighter the Movie
Street Fighter 3
Street Fighter 3 : Second Impact (Giant Attack)
Street Fighter 3 : Third Strike (Fight for the Future)

The VS Series

X-men Children of the atom (not actually related but we speculate it sparked it off)
Marvel Super Heroes (All the Marvel Characters)
X-men VS Street Fighter
Marvel Superheroes VS Street Fighter
Marvel VS Capcom
Marvel VS Capcom 2


NB: Julian would like to point out that:

Street Fighter the MOVIE is NOT MADE BY CAPCOM!

ITS SACRILEGE! ITS RUBBISH! its junk! it has Jean Claude Van Damm in it! WTH?

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In my supreme wisdom (coming from reading too much Sherlock Holmes, making me able to deduce things from bare scraps of information), I have made many observations. Here are some of them (for those relating to inter-personal relations and other sensitive topics, including school politics, please email timthegreat@hotpop.com).


On Fake German:

If somebody speaks in imitation German, everybody can tell that he is a German. If he speaks in REAL German, nobody can tell.


What is Ze Question? (Fake German)
Ich bin Tim das große (Real German)

On Fake Indian:

Same as for fake German.

On Villains:

Villains always like to do certain things.


- live in damp, dark caves
- like darkness
- speak in raspy voices (very irritating)
- like the colours Red and Black

Real villains never do these things. They want to be unnoticed.

On Magazines:

Women's magazines are about women. Men's magazines are about women.

On Wealth:

To become a millionaire, just borrow 1 Million Dollars.

On Computers:

People who use computers never look good in Real Life, but only in movies. (look at me)

On Questions:

Why do people ask : Do you know why? Invariably, the person questioned never does.

On Fantasies:

Not all fantasies are about sex. Chicken Pie. (The mere mention of that makes me lubricate. Oops, wrong gender)

On Placings:

Being in the Top 10 means that you are 10th.
Unnecessary suspense results from, we were first..... runner up .


Many pretty people.
Land of the Buaya and Buayee.

On America's Funniest Videos:

It's either about people falling down (as observed by The Person On Whose Page I Host Mine), babies or animals.

On 'Snake':

It gets a solid 10/10 for gameplay.



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