NB: Some of the quotes on this are probably misclassified since the quotes database in Palm Desktop got truncated and I had to rebuild it from my blog, which doesn't contain attribution information


- [On icebreakers] The purpose of this was partly to annoy you on a Monday morning
- [On apathy] The natural thing to do is to fold your arms and smile a lot, as at the beginning of the semester.
- Why do we need the PAP in power?... If not everyone will kill everyone [else]. Singapore will sink into the sea, like Atlantis.
- You look puzzled. There are readings. It's a common thing for a module to have readings.
- mutching pennies game (matching)
- head or tail (heads or tails)
- We both choose hair'ds (heads)
- Let's see the fry'mores Prisoner's Dilemma (famous)
- I meet you and say 'let's do zees' (this)
- bah'let (ballet)
- [On a guy going for ballet with someone] I will enjoy [it] because she will be there.
- Mr Column. He is also [a] smart guy. In the market everyone is smart.
- [On game theory] Players in the market, they are very smart. Not often they are economists. They are engineers. (are they)
- [On a repeated game] You will see me every week. We will play [the] game 13 times.
- hunting a stug (stag)
- final game (finite)
- Cournot game, is it a finite game?... 2 is a very finite number.
- Nash equilibrium, invented 1950. Just recently.
- The best thing about game theory is that you can go to the end without mathematics. Just differentiation.
- Now I will show you [how to solve this] in a very very complicated way. Because I had an exam in Toulouse and I almost failed to solve this in time. So now it is a matter of my honour that I show it to you.
- How to solve zis poem (this point)
- [On diversity in groupings] There's diversity of gender. If you look deeper, diversity of class. If you really deep, diversity of sexuality.
- Future direction from an imaginary past. Some glorious past... Asian Values.
- A person of this kind, a person of this pedigree, family name, is always obeyed because that's the way it's always been.
- Kinda Keen'zeer'n (Keynesian)
- [On the reserves] The moment we are compassionate, it will bleed to zero and Singapore will collapse and sink into the sea... 'We cannot have welfare'
- Socrates was, not just according to Plato, a really annoying person. He would walk up to people - people he wouldn't know - and ask: 'So, what is justice?' I'm sure you've met people like this at parties.
- Those who can see through the conventional wisdom of the age are often regarded as mad.
- Stair'ter scoh (status quo)
- A very familiar sounding myth... Gold has to marry gold... how does it begin to degenerate? Sex.
- Scholarships. Let's go through this very quickly. So you can discuss this later. You can put *** on trial... You come back, you're bonded. The word is 'bond', can you imagine?
- Half the nation are made to do some form of National Service. Reinforce their masculinity... The other half sit there and admire them... Instead, in the prime of their lives, of being student activists, put them in uniform. A place ruled by regimentation, by brutality.
- *Puts hagiography on table* What we want to do is to set you up for a trial, of this man... I'm gonna ask for 10 volunteers to prosecute this man. Whatever is said stays within this room.
- This course, ***, is a very interesting course. Believe me.
- We'll have a break, but hold on for a while. We're only at page 2.
- If there are only 3 of you who choose this course, you will have a very large share of my time.
- Sociological arse'pecks (aspects)
- In the workplace. Not in academia. In the workplace.
- It gives you a lot of insight for relatively little mathematics. There're a lot of books with very rigorous mathematics, but the insight you get about the real world is not a lot.
- Something like evaluation and exams - is that what anyone here cares about? Or are you here purely for learning and wisdom?
- [On analysing economic development] The point of your paper is not 'we are good performers compared to Singapore'
- I was in a taxi driver this morning (taxi)
- 30% of the labour force in Singapore is basically ex'pay'tree'ates (expatriates)
- [On Singapore having favorable initial conditions on independence: strategic location, small city state, few environmental disasters, entrepot history, colonial legacy] The government will say 'That is not the case'
- [On explaining Singapore's economic development] Upfront in the book I wrote all the negatives about Singapore that I had ever heard.
- [On pragmatic socialism vs authoritarian capitalism] Singapore defies easy classification because it has lots of paradoxes.
- [On Singapore] 93% of Singaporeans own their houses... More than 80% of the land is owned by the state. That's like North Korea, Cuba.
- Thank you, if you don't intend to take this course and have lost 1 hour of your valuable lives.
- [On shopping for courses] I can understand you're really tired of shopping. Shop till you drop.
- People call me Ed, Eddie, Your Highness... just call me Ed. If you're not used to that, practise.
- We can negotiate whether it is an easy exam or a hard exam. Closed book or open book.
- Have you heard of the Undergraduate University? Everything you learn in a 4 year University Course you can learn in 5 minutes.
- [On transplanting institutions] Why don't we just adopt the constitution of Singapore? Then we can develop... One party state, GRCs, high minister's salaries.
- The third week, and this is the only thing I learnt from a public policy degree, market failure and government failures... Everything you learn in a Masters Course you can learn in 5 minutes.
- Some people prefer to gumbo (gamble)
- Government failures. Unfortunately the literature is concerned with Western democracies... There is not much on government failure in a one-party state.
- Would you put Donald Trump in jail? Economics would say 'give him a light term. He's productive'
- [On marriage vows] These are unwritten. These are rules in use. Or unused.
- Regression models. Don't worry, if you have not taken Econometrics before I can explain it to you in 5 minutes.
- Midterm. 3 hour exam, closed book. We can talk about it. Depends on the preferences of the market.
- un use'swirl (unusual)
- Here in Singapore, rural development and agricultural development are not sexy matters.
- We're all transitioning. Except for Singapore, everyone is transitioning, always.
- There's a secret to that... Professors would give us so many readings... If I was given a book, I'd read the first page, get an idea, and skip.
- [On Locke] Happiness is a euphemism for property.
- [On ISA] The Minister of Home Affairs recommends, and the President says: *light voice* Okay!
- You make that representation to the advisory board: 'I'm not a terrorist, I'm a freedom fighter'... The most dangerous thing he has is a water balloon in his flat.
- [On Powerpoint] I asked you, for presentations - you can send me your preferences by email. Like zis, like zis, like zis, or like zis? *advances text on a slide with 4 types of animated transitions* (this)
- [On dynamic games with complete information] I know everything. He knows that I know everything. I know that he knows that I know everything. And - you get the idea.
- You are rational. I know that you are rational. I stop here. But smart people will go to infinity... This is my project, I should know.
- First mover ard'vahn'targe [Ed: French pronounciation of 'ge']
- [On a one shot game where 2 firms decide on OSes] If they install Macintosh, they gain less, because Windows [is] more open.
- [Written] Mackintosh (Macintosh)
- [On the payoff table where one party has the first mover advantage] It's ok if you didn't understand it. I also didn't understand it when I saw it [for the] first time... I was completely lost.
- I will illustrate how to get the first term... Look how kind I am.
- [On killing students] No maths. Logic. Work it out graphically... You'll find it very enlightening. 'An instructive experience'
- In Minford and Peel, there is no lag term, but I like to be original, so I included the lag term. Which makes it much more complicated... much more interesting.
- [On a hard model] Walsh reformulates the model with inter-temporal optimization but the results don't change very much.
- [On the ISA] A law like this scares innocent people... Sometimes rightly, because they're guilty.
- Che Guevara is a gay icon... You don't have to be gay to be a gay icon.
- [On wrongful conviction and 30 year declassification] You send a bunch of flowers to the family and say 'sorry'
- [On the presumption of guilt and preventive detention] One of my honours student... he was in the MRT station. 'How to make a bomb'. Books on extremism. He was writing an essay... Muslim guy. (students)
- Say I'm a Chemistry teacher... I love the language. I have lots of books on anarchism. I'm on my way to buy materials for a class experiment.
- 'Oh my god. The second half of the semester is all about Marxism. He's indoctrinating students... He's a threat.'... You can also view porn and say it's for education.
- We're going to start by showing you clips from a film I don't consider to be great, from a filmmaker I also don't consider to be great, but it resonates with Singaporeans... I'll show you some clips from the film 'I Not Stupid'.
- Democracy: people have the idea that this place will turn into Singapore.
- I'm interested in your expectations. Do you want me to wear a tie every day? [Someone: Jacket] Jacket.
- From time to time I will call on you... just to keep you awake.
- You want to specialise as a generalist?
- In the 1950s, the argument was 'People are poor because they are poor'. It's a tautology.
- The Solow growth model is interesting in paper (on)
- [On trust] If you leave your umbrella on the subway in Japan there's a high chance that it will return to you.
- Singapore has a different model of accountability... Accountability is internal, within the government, within the party... In the US... Separation of powers. Ambition counters ambition. In Communist countries like China, Vietnam - internal norms.
- Africa got the most aid per capita, but had the least growth. East Asia got the least aid per capita, but had the most growth.
- In a centralised government like Vietnam, I don't think one-party government is the best choice for development... There is ideology.
- [On the Philippines] The President needs 5 years of education, but the clerk needs a College Degree. It's perverse... Democracy corrupts and too much democracy corrupts absolutely.
- He's working in Goldman Satch as (Sachs)
- Positive freedom... We lack resources... We go to a bad school, with bad teachers.
- [On positive freedom and a French restaurant] Identify the currants or little nutmegs in the wine.
- [On I Not Stupid] That mother, since she's dressed in white, and flabby - flabby being a symbol of wealth. She is the ***.
- The Prisons has this publication. They call it 'True Freedom', but it's actually the Bible... New Testament.
- In FASS we have a Liberal Arts system. You choose. Modularity. No one's gonna to, in theory, tell you what's right or wrong. (gonna)
- Professor? *** [Ed: His name], please.
- [Student: Should we understand Positive and Negative freedom as a spectrum?] That's a question, that's an essay question type.
- I'm going to take us back to the 1980s in Singapore. 1980s. Let's be realistic here. I wasn't even born in the 80s. [Students: Ah! Har. Har. Liar!]
- In the past decade, men used to propose to girls by asking them if they want to buy a HDB flat. Isn't that sad? [Female student role-playing a lesbian: See why I go for girls?] (wanted)
- [On meritocracy] Everyone has an equal chance to succeed. President's Scholar - there must always be a taxi driver's son.
- Start fruit (starfruit)
- [On game theory] I took part in such a game. I won 30 Euros... Maybe next year I will also organise an experiment.
- Razor and stone. [Student: Scissors, paper, stone] I don't know. My kids at home play it.
- You play stone, you play eraser, you play paper. (scissors)
- [On the Prisoner's Dilemma] They may cooperate, not with the policemen, but within them (between themselves)
- mar'nu'fuck'tour (manufacturer)
- Beer'trah'nd (Bertrand)
- There's a firm Nai'k and a firm Mike (Nike)
- R I D activity (and)
- The next example is espionage. I'm saying it the French way... spy industry [is the English word]
- It's an infinite moving average of present and past disturbances with the coefficients being pi-i-s... You have infinite pi-s. It's a joke. *nervous laughter from audience*
- Now jump the Mathematics. We'll go to the Economics... The maths is a tool to help you learn Economics.
- Hollywood is famous for this. They steal ideas from Asian cinema and call it parody, and when Asians make VCDs they cry murder.
- The actvity in the IVLE forum is amazing. It's like you have a portable screen.
- I don't like essays that meditate. Ramble. Transcend into another realm.
- I also tend to reward people who have strange central theses... strange not as in 'cannot be understood'.
- [On a race] After you fire the rifle, after you fire the pistol, everyone is off.
- Dare'tro't (Detroit)
- [On meritocracy] Merit is defined by you, your circle, your elite uncaring face.
- [On circulation of elites in a multi-party democracy] In a country like ***, there's virtually no political competition. They begin to ossify. They think about staying in power... Kicking off political competition... They forgot why they came into power. You have a problem... You've one guy who's really strong, his name is ***.
- [On perpetuation of power] Focusing their energies on telling these stories of vulnerability, rather than making the economy good.
- [On elites being close-to-earth] When they go to events, they drink water.
- Let's face it. Singaporeans are working class. Let's not take any leap of faith and imagine 80% of Singaporeans are middle class.
- He said he generally agreed with her. The principal of RJC said he disagreed with what she said but he respected her right to say it. [Student: Wow.]
- It takes us, in a way, back to Singapore's fear of Marxism... In the 70s, Marxism was something that people thought about. It wouldn't demonised in the silly way it is today.
- When you look at National Day rallies, reifying a class as if it actualy exists. Patronising the class. Urging it to go on.
- This TV show, the Arena. RI, this elite school. Loyang Secondary, this neighborhood school. RI - you could see the arrogance on their faces.
- [On submerging consciousness] One way of thinking about it is that the things that really matter aren't talked about. The fact that race is talked about so much may be an indicator that it isn't so important.
- *Strange disembodied sound* What's that? Oh, it's my phone.
- [On keeping options open to people] The option of feeling that it's like having metal going through flesh... It may not be pleasurable.
- A Neo-Marxist argument, that the market offers a false choice. Colgate, Darlie. It's the same thing branded differently.
- [Student on empirical values in the Lucas model: What kind of number will lambda be?] I don't deal with numbers, I deal with theories. I don't know, sorry.
- I apologise for not keeping track of time. I decided last Saturday or Sunday to buy a watch.
- I told the dean: We have the most talented school of Public Policy in the world. I'm amazed by the courage of these students to sing and dance and parade themselves... When I saw those 4 scholars from Beijing, I thought: the future of public policy in China is bright... If on the brink of a nuclear war in the Korean peninsula, Kim Jong Il. Let's make a rule... Why don't we get all the comedians to settle the issue?
- That's the first fron'damental problem (fundamental)
- A lot of public policy programmes in the world are driven by irrational exuberance of their benefits... Privatization privatization privatization... Everyone is pushing privatization. You have to understand the economics of the good [first].
- When you think of Geylang, even prostitutes have warranties... They have certificates saying they don't have STDs.
- In Singapore it's regulated by the government. As long as the money goes to the government it's okay. All other gambling is banned. Except during Chinese New Year.
- [On anti-nicotine gum] You cannot buy unless you're a smoker. [Student: How can you prove {that}?] You smoke, then you buy it.
- What happened in the past - I gave students takeaway exams. There was a lot of collusion and downloading from the Internet. I got reprimanded by my vice-dean. (take home)
- Kay'nee'zhearn economics (Keynesian)
- My favourite taxi driver will always say: One People *draws one vertical stroke*, One Nation *draws another vertical stroke*, One Singapore *draws S*. Dollar sign... He says 'you get to the hawker centre, the sugarcane machine. You know what I mean'... I learn about Singapore from taxi drivers.
- One thing that I discovered is that when you upload [notes] in Powerpoint format, someone somewhere in the world will steal the slides and use it as their own.
- q1 + q2 > big (written) (?)
- Plato was very worried about the Sophists. Going around teaching people how to win arguments, how to be persuasive. Kind of like the Writing Program here.
- The PAP has been very good at presenting crises in a certain kind of way. Crises and electoral prospects.
- [Student: Can you not write on the whiteboard? Write on [a OHT on] the visualiser.] You cannot see? I see. *laughs from audience*
- Don't be afraid of formula. It's easy to use formulas. (formulas)
- [On collusion] They just agree in the restaurant: 'You produce this'. The judge will say: 'You did it' ''It's a joke'. (It was)
- [On the Prisoner's Dilemma] Half of economics is in the table I gave you. [The] Other half is [the] Battle of [the] Sexes. I think.
- [On punishment for defection] Here, punishment will be eternal. You know, like the hell. (hell)
- [On punishment and discounting] I came here, the taxi driver said 'HDB - 99 years. I want forever'... In Europe, 10 years is a lot... This taxi driver values the future a lot. You can punish him.
- One country quite fastly developed (developed quite quickly)
- who lee sale price (whole)
- You know [a] monopoly is bad. What is worse than [a] monopoly? A chain of monopolies. *laughs from audience*
- Now, what we will do is - if I can find my transparency. Where is it? [Student sotto voce: Hope you don't find {it}]
- That's it for this topic. Now we go on to next week's lecture. *Noise from audience* You all should be forward-looking. Rational expectations.
- Google is offering free gore'may food to its employees... Increase efficiency... NUS should do that too. (gourmet)
- [On televised parliament in 1985] Our newspapers merely string press releases from the various ministries together... until JBJ (strung)
- [On a profile of Sylvia Lim in a magazine] Quite horrible. She was wearing a red, very revealing dress, about to sing jazz.
- Low Thia Khiang is known to be a very constituency focused MP. Every funeral wake, he will be there. Every Hungry Ghosts Festival.
- [On why firms don't exit the industry even though they earn 0 profit] It's an agreement in Economics. If it's 0 [profit], he will participate... It is better to be active... There is a small utility to being active, so he will participate
- I know Singapore is an economy which follows the rules.
- The PAP racialises Singaporeans to such an extent that it is hard for us to think of ourselves as anything other than a member of a racial class.
- If you want to become a PAP candidate, you don't join the PAP. You do well in your profession... People who join YPAP [Young PAP], thinking they're going to become PAP MPs - Oh God.
- You only get power when you're invited to join the Cabinet... MPs are virtually powerless in Singapore. Some of the top civil servants are more powerful than MPs... Very often the Executive is checked by backbench MPs. In other more well-adjusted democracies.
- [Student: He's pretty much the one who gave birth to Singapore.] Not gave birth. More like impregnated.
- That became a founding moment. The croco- Oops. The tears... Became an iconic moment... [Student: In another class, we found out the video was only released in the 1990s]
- Before he became Prime Minister: he has an image problem. 'This guy is genetically programmed to be a dictator! He has that *** laugh'... The PR machine goes into overdrive.
- It's a very strange idea of stability. Not coups or revolutions. If a new party comes into power through elections, it's instability.
- It tried very hard to criminalise the Opposition. '30 years ago, they cheated 10 cents on tax'. They have files on everyone, it seems.
- [On closets waiting to be unlocked for deviance] We all have skeletons. *** probably has the most... How do you get so powerful without having skeletons?
- New modes of expressing dissent. Humour and satire. The *** cannot deal with humour and satire... How do you deal with mighty and pompous people? You laugh at them... In court: ''What did you mean by '*** ***'?'' They look ludicrous... Technocrats defining what humour is.
- There's a lot of hidden economics behind the mathematics.
- At one time, this was before Tony Blair became more like the PAP, at one time the party had to obey the unions.
- [On the Nature Society] They come together and appreciate whatever's left of nature in Singapore... you might say they consume the environment in a very bourgeois way, except it's in the conviviality of a group.
- [On AWARE] They lobby the government: 'Women should do National Service'... Rich tai tais. Come together, drink coffee, play mahjong and talk about the poor.
- You're the *** government. You have a lot of resources. Why don't you want to spend it on the poor? Why? [Student: They want to use it for themselves?] *rolls eyes* I didn't say that... [The reason is] they don't want people to become a drain on the state.
- They will say, 'Our hands are tied'... 'The community is conservative'. That's when it doesn't want to change. When it does, society doesn't matter. They go ahead with the Casino, Crazy Horse Adventure... 'The society is divided', 'pragmatism'
- [On democracy] The media will actually, if you like, define certain OB markers for the state... If you do certain things the people will know and will vote. Or 'revolution'.
- Politicians are told to part their hair to the left or the right. Apparently it makes a difference... Tony Blair wears a blue tie... To show he's not too far from the Tories... Sometimes he wears a pink tie.
- You know I was a student. My coursemate always was late. 25 minutes. And she lived just [in the] next building... Next time when she was late he said: 'You wasted 10 minutes of my time. Now I will waste 10 minutes of yours'. He stopped talking for 10 minutes. She was never late again.
- impoot (imput)
- What is the relay'tive price? (relative)
- high price sensidivity (sensitivity) (written)
- Banesian (Bayesian)
- Bah'yes'ian equilibrium (Bayesian)
- con'tin'gernt (contingent)
- [On the Shapiro-Stiglitz model] e equals e bar. Which means he's a hardworking guy, like me.
- This problem can be solved in a shortcut way, but later on there's no escape. You have to use optimal control. Very enjoyable, this course.
- Instead of relying on the state for welfare, because welfare is never enough.
- Because one party is in power all the time, you can rely on the continued exploi- Whoops, did I say exploitation? To hold down the wages of workers.
- [On NKF] The stars. Well, Singapore celebrities. Singapore celebrities bracket stars bracket... When you watch the thing: 'Oh my god, she [Cassandra See] can't smell anymore'. Or 'Look at Zoe Tay's sweat'... You pick up the phone and save Zoe Tay.
- [On NKF] In the 1990s, *** said: 'Pay our *** high salaries so they will not be corrupt.' What happened here? Pay him a high salary, and he becomes even more corrupt.
- You have people like *** saying: 'I'm a great man, of course people give me discounts'
- [On the Shitty Times] Reams and reams of repackaged government press releases... Terribly boring... Or stories about how terrible it is in Bangkok or Philippines because they are democratic, or how terrible Scandinavia is because they have welfare, or how terrible America is... [Student: Straits Times paints a very bad picture of the rest of the world]
- [Student: I think the 'Thinking schools, Learning nation' thing has backfired.] They 'naively' take them at their word. 'You want us to teach them critical thinking? We will'... '*To students* I'm not supposed to be showing you this but'... The politics in this country is a lot more sophisticated than the politics that goes on elsewhere... You need a magnifying glass to see these complexities.
- [On New Media] At one point they didn't care... Young people stringing sentences together. The grammar will kill them before the PAP will.
- [Student: An octopus. The arms are falling off.] For every arm that falls off, 2grow in its place... ***'s head on an octopus's body. That's scary.
- Goh Chok Tong said: 'Look, woman. If you want to talk about politics, join a political party'. That was the most absurd expression I've ever heard.
- [Student: There was this guy who snipped his pubic hair.]... That's the thing. We only think of it as snipping pubic hair... The whole press spectacularised the moment. Hardly anyone saw it.
- [On consultative exercises] They file away everything that has been discussed... The next time we can talk about the exact same things. The illusion of democratic space... If you think they mean it, they smack you.
- Ronald Coase and Doug North never did maths. They said: Either you use maths or you do history or you explain things in a simple way.
- What about when there's no haze? Singapore doesn't pay us for the clean air from our forests... If Professor Coase would solve this problem he would say this: Indonesia will pay Singapore the cost of the haze... In return Singapore will pay Indonesia the cost of clean air. Or at least the cost of not burning... then Indonesia can continue to smoke.
- Labelling is very bad in Asia. In the US it's labelled down to the last milligram of sodium. That is why a lot of bad companies come here from the US... You buy a pack of Maggi from Malaysia, it says 'less sodium'. But when you eat it it's 50% sodium.
- It's the kettle calling the pot black. (pot, kettle)
- They have high environmental standards in the US... [So] Union Carbide went to India. Bhopal. The rest is history.
- A true lawyer or a kwok lawyer (quack)
- or'tor'nor'moos (autonomous)
- If you think about it, all problems of society boil down to the principle-agent problem.
- You think the United States is a Capitalist economy? Education in the US is socialist. School - free bus, high school and elementary school is free. Free school lunchs... You think China is a Socialist country? Education: everyone pays at cost.
- I say to you before, if you do not come to the lecture I will shoot you. You all will come. Nash Equilibrium. (I've said)
- [On handing up the term paper in class] What usually happens at this point in the Semester is I'll get some food and annoy you with some semblance of meritocracy (?)
- One political party offering something good, like giveouts (handouts)
- [Student on Slavery: Like what you wrote in your article. They become more mature.] Was I so flattering about the army?... I believe it was something about brutalising.
- [On the illusion of political change through consultative exercises] Give them a carnival. They will act and jump up and down... At the end, it's Lent again. You go back into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights.
- [On self-centredness in Singapore] Liberals are very self-centred. They are not willing to give up [anything for the greater good]... If that's the case we have already achieved it [liberal democracy]
- [On the tutorial] Some of you should redo it. It's really inacceptable. (unacceptable)
- [On Perfect Bayesian Equilibrium] It's difficult even for graduate student, so I probably won't give it for [the] exam. You should formulate beliefs based on your expectation of my actions... Sometimes beliefs are wrong. (students)
- belief must satisfy buy's rule (Bayes')
- This is Buyer's rule. It's very complicated. In 10 years, each time I learned it I failed... Now I tell you I know. After 10 times, but not before. (Bayes')
- Beliefs should be good. They shouldn't be strange... I am a manager. I have a job interview. This guy has a Harvard diploma. His GPA is 4.0... I believe he is weak... We know Harvard, the undergraduates, they don't study very hard.
- You know when I was [a] student there was sometimes checking. They check if you are studying. They check if someone is over. They come at 6:30, check your papers. (were checks)
- Profit is equally splitted (split)
- University cannot completely control me. I sit in my office 7 days a week. No call, no email. This is actually [the] moral hazard problem... The University has [a] good tool to incentivise me. If I do not produce at least 1 paper a year, they will fire me. (calls)
- Sunday evening, you come here [to NUS]. People studying on Wi-Fi. *mimes typing*... They kill themselves... In my profession, some people work very hard... By the end of the year they talk strangely and behave strangely... Like me, I work very hard.
- This is quite an unusual term. Ball and Romer say it's just a 'convenient normalization'. Whatever that means. It just make the algebra easier.
- I want to bring to your attention that this is a beautifull compact equation. Because he [the consumer] is optimising along 3 margins.
- That was the initial equilibrium. Now we come to the exciting part.
- [On the Ball-Romer menu costs model] I don't think their model is artistic, although it is correct. And we're not artists here, we're scientists.
- He didn't say that [Capitalism must come between Feudalism and Communism]. He said it was 'The Necessary Stage' *funny look* *Laughs from audience*
- Nietzsche calls Christianity a religion of slavery, because you have to offer your cheeks [to be slapped].
- Marx says when you put Capital and Labour together you get something more, which he calls surplus value. *writes delta v*. This is my fake Economics [knowlege/notation]
- Some people call them Champagne Marxists... They look upon the working class with fascination... They want to 'help them'... Moral edification.
- [On co-option] You have an elite class... Meritocracy. They pull some of them up, but you make sure they never look back.
- I am being retrenched - again. I'm taking pay cuts - again. CPF is being cut - again. GST is going up - again... How come they don't suffer as much?... This idea of nation. Getting you to buy into it.
- The professors are proletarianised too. They're made to teach long hours to huge lecture theatres of students who don't care two hoots.
- [Student: Does Marx make any assumptions about human nature?] Yah, that we are good.
- Capitalism is a conspiracy with no conspirators. Capitalists themselves are alienated - from each other. They are terrified that they'll join the proletariat one day... It's a horrible world to live in.
- [On the USSR] If you're in power, you like it. So the revolution, for you, is never completed.
- [On Communism] If someone tells you, in a Christ-like fashion: 'Leave your family behind, leave your goods behind, follow me.' *Makes face* Unless you're a fisherman, it's quite hard to do.
- [Student on a tutorial question that used to be an exam question: How was the performance for this question in the exam?] Disastrous. Only 1 student in 42 got everything correct. I was very disappointed... The moral of the story is: go back and work on your calculus. [Me: *sotto voce* Set {an} easier exam.] *sniggers from people around* Sorry? [Me: The moral is to set an easier exam.] That's not going to happen.
- In the spirit of the Lunar New Year, I am open to the idea of having an open book exam.
- [On a conference] If they like your paper, they wll pay your expenses, so you can polish your paper in this class... If they find gold in your paper, or a speck of [gold] dust, or fool's gold, then you can go to the Netherlands for free.
- [On Classical Economics vs Game Theory] [The] Second part [of the course] will be more formal. Here we just talk.
- enter'pr'err'ner (entrepreneur)

--- NUS Staff (first half of semester, before mid-semester break)

 

- One very typical university exam question is: 'Was Marx a Marxist?'
- Chinese New Year: 'Why are you such a loser'. If we can overcome that... Post-industrialist... We all hear of CEOs who become schoolteachers... They look for more meaningful things to do. We see this in lawyers too. They become restaurant owners.
- People makes ants meet (make ends)
- [On 'exploitation'] The reason why the US dumps tons and tons of wheat in the sea is so the price won't go down so they [the farmers] won't be exploited.
- [On trade unions sustaining integral hegemony] You're a member of a trade union. They tell you: 'Hey, every year we give you a calendar and an umbrella'.
- Some people say: 'Oh there's no politics in Singapore. It's so easy'... There's a struggle for consent... There are ruptures... Singapore is closer to the integral hegemony model.
- [On modern Marxists] They mention revolutionary potential, but they don't mean it anymore.
- I'm going to show you a clip from a film called Chicken Rice War. it's a terrible film... [Student: It has a clip with necrophilia right.] Chicken Rice War doesn't have necrophilia. It's a commercial film. That would be hard to relate to our topic for today.
- After period 1, the world comes to an end. Is that clear?... Although it is simple, this model can give us a lot of insights. Sometimes they can be misleading... Any questions? [Me: What year is this model from?] Frenkel and Razin. 1984. Long time ago... Well, the world hasn't come to an end yet.
- [On a model] He has to repay his borrowing. There's no free lunch... Only then can he die happily.
- Like Singapore, we're always investing our money abroad. Whether we can get our money back, we don't know.
- What should B1 be? Today I'm in a good mood so I'll give you the answer.
- If you anticipate an unfavourable shock in the future, you will improve your current account now. That's why the government always says: 'The future looks bleak. Let's tighten our belts now.'
- How do you determine the autarky interest rate? *Silence* I asked this question last semester. Most students got it right. Very disappointing.
- [Student: You've been watching all the forums.] I'm such a lurker. [Another student: Stalker.] Psycho-stalker.
- It's perpetual catching up. Just as the Nation will never be complete... By drawing attention to the one or two who succeed, you make it obvious the rest haven't.
- [Student: God helps those who help themselves. All texts are contradictory.] Look at the birds and the bees. They don't work, why should we?
- Everyone talks about Asian Values. Lee Kuan Yew, Tommy Koh, Kishore Mahbubani. Then 1997 comes along. Asian Financial Crisis. Cronyism, Nepotism, Corruption. I thought we're not supposed to have financial crises. Nobody talks about Asian Values anymore.
- [On hegemony and truth] Partly it's manipulation... [but] the PAP is not out to screw us all.
- Multiracialism, meritocracy, pragmatism. They've meant very different things to people over the years... We're all involved. It's a different way of thinking about 'active citizenry'.
- [On youth apathy] When we come forward, you smack us down. Then now you want us to dance to your tune.
- Neo-Gramscians talk about rearticulaton. Philosophy is nonsense... You take things from here and there...
- I feel so horrible, because one of the things everyone said in the feedback was that you all want a break.
- [Student: Ukraine sells a lot of weapons to Burma, but they always deny it.] 'They'? Somewhere else, closer to home...
- [On distractions] It's just removing a chair from a window. It's more interesting than what I am saying. Wow, there's no competition.
- Why was Singapore Rebel banned?... It presented Chee Soon Juan as a reasonable man... We know he's a horrible man. He's this man who just screams at the Prime Minister.
- [Student: Shall I draw the graph?] Of course, of course. They ask you to solve graphically. You need the graph... That's all? [Student: I have to explain?]... Show the dynamic adjustment. [Student: This graph ah?] Sit down, sit down.
- Wrong... Wrong... It's not a lottery, okay, you have to think about it systematically.
- [On the exam] Ok. Time's up. Don't make me work too hard.
- [Student on Critical Theory: Cognitive.] It's a Science in that way. It's not like some fluffy thing.
- [On repression and enlightenment in Critical Theory] As a minority you're being repressed. You don't want to face it. On racial harmony day you join hands, wear cultural costumes and dance around on stage.
- [Student: Did they say you should teach Critical Theory in the schools?] The Frankfurt School was composed of academics, so their world was, if you like, an ivory tower... They were accused of being elitist... The man on the street didn't understand [Critical Theory]
- What does autonomy mean? Setting up for a very ironic moment.
- [Student on the Great Refusal: Is doodling considered art?] You doodle doodle doodle. Suddenly: 'My mother!' You go back and have a chat with her... You sit in class, it's damn boring... Your only means of escape is to doodle. You're resisting over-rationalisation of your life through irrationality.
- The artist may secretly yearn to be banned or censored, because the artist becomes a martyr. People love banned authors.
- [On giving back the exam] Usually it takes time. 1 month, usually.
- We will do it quite fastly. (quickly)
- Very difficult concept. The more I think about Nash [Equilibrium], the less I actually understand it.
- [On the Cobb-Douglas function] You are students. You are young, your memory is good. You can remember this. I cannot remember this.
- Why do we need convex set? It's nice... It's not look nice, it behaves nice. (Not because it looks nice, but because)
- Let's say me and *** [another Professor's name], we're perfect substitutes.
- Why is it called 'constant elasticity of substitution'? Because it has constant elasticity of substitution.
- Look up Alpha Chiang if you're not clear about that. My favourite book.
- [On Romancing Singapore] We are making a funny claim that romance leads to sex. That sex needs a - lubricant.
- [On creating new consumers, producers and defence forces for the warfare state] When you have sex, you're not thinking: 'Ooh, by doing this I'm populating the world'
- [On Romancing Singapore] Working harder leaves less time for human relations.
- [On pornography] It masquerades as art, like Crazy Horse, so it satisfies our 'artistic sensibilities'.
- It's a dis-utopia (dystopia)
- How do you show that consumption smoothing is better than - *student raises hand* I haven't even asked the question yet.
- I begin to suspect that when I go to Indonesia, calamities follow... Before or after... After I left... earthquake... Before I boarded the plane - Garuda plane crash.
- I started off as a young Marxist in my university days, but I thought that class struggle quickly has diminishing marginal returns as a way of looking at things... I threw all the conspiracy theories out of the window. I still keep some, from time to time.
- [On a picture of a Filipino slum] Oh, that's where I lve. [Student: That's why you come here.] Yeah.
- I own some property in London. Unit trusts... I own probably one staircase.
- What do economists debate about nowadays? [Me: Mathematics]... [Ronald Coase said:] When economists want to study a problem, when economists want to study a camel, they sit in the office and draw some equations. They can just go to their next door neighbor and look at the camel... Ronald Coase never did mathematics.
- The chief economist of the IMF is from the University of Chicago. And guess what? He says yes to regulations.
- [On the value of trademarks] If a bag is Cartier it's worth $200, even if it's made in China... If it's *his name* - worthless, even if it's the same.
- [On tax evasion in the US] $1 - the IRS will let you go. $2 - they will trace you... You cannot leave the US. *Toot toot toot* 'This person has not paid the tax'
- In Applied Theory, we sometimes have strange findings. We found the cost function - it was decreasing. Something must be wrong [Ed: Maybe with the theory of decreasing costs]
- [On exogenous variables] Exogenous - minimum price, minimum wage in Singapore
- [On a symmetric semi-definite matrix representing the cost function] You know Paul Samuelson... He said there were some mathematical things which can't be explained. This is one of them.
- [On pirating textbooks] First guy incurs cost. It will cost him 20 minutes. Maybe half an hour. Then the second guy will come, his cost will be 0... It's like an [market] entry. First guy incurs cost.
- [On economic analysis] Maybe not very meaningful, but people in institutions, they like these graphs.
- It's a bit of mags (maths)
- [On someone who accidentally came to the classroom] I thought the guy was gonna go - 'Oh dont worry i'm just from the ISD, carry on'
- [On gender stereotypes] What are these qualities? If you say them it doesn't mean you need to feel them. If you say 'women are weak' it doesn't mean you are a bastard. At the same time it doesn't mean you're a bastard if you think that.
- Man is about musculature. Woman is about fat. Though I'm probably a good example of how that's not true.
- For women, justice is about empathy... It cannot be abstracted... It has to be about feelings, it has to be about connectedness.
- Singapore, in the complete absence of community, talks about the fabric of the nation, which is a fabrication, if you like.
- Victorian... Huge machines emerging out of the male imagination to control women who are out of control... Gynaecology is a male science... Why are gynaecologists all male? There's a crude answer to that.
- To build rockets, and say: 'My rocket is bigger than your rocket'. It's a reflection of male conceit.
- Men become politicians. Men such as Margaret Thatcher... She has disembowelled her womanliness.
- Not everyone wants this. There are - nobody uses this word - there are conservative feminists... They shouldn't compete in a man's world, because it is wrong.
- AWARE, a group of midle class women in Singapore... The values, err, forged and operationalized over lunch - ladies who do lunch - advanced into the heartlands... Why're these rich women, tai tais... Many of whom haven't worked before, expecting other women to believe that way?
- [On Radical Amazonian Feminists] They don't want to live by men's rules... Reconstruct the world... So the solution is? [Me: Revolution]... Amazonian community... Separate and parallel lives... They're self-sufficient also in the erotic sense. Only women know how to pleasure each other...
- [On Radical Feminists] They don't care what men do. They probably imagine men are just masturbating all day.
- Post-moderns, especially the more radical, critical ones... They're critiquing the very basis of their critique. Post-modernism is very hard to pin down. They're accused of hypocrisy.
- In Singapore, the anti-PAP thing, the anti-authoritarianism, we sometimes imagine the more critical we are, the more free we are. That's not true. The more critical with the PAP we are, the more obsessed with the PAP we are... If you look at a lot of the arts scene here, they're still obsessed. Same with feminism. The father can die, but he will rise from the grave.
- As a feminist, what she wants to do is promote this 'nonsense'. Writing that is not bound by male logic... Return to the pre-semiotic.
- [Student: Is it 'Return of Pontianak'?] No, it's 'Return to Pontianak' [Student: Is it a really bad Malaysian production?] It's a Singaporean production... Here you have the Singapore mindset occupying the realm of the father... Southeast Asia is the mother... womb-like quality of the jungle... The pontianak kills them all... Our civilization is a return of that which has been repressed.
- [Student: Some women like being weaker, the protected.] The abused [Student: Some women like men to hold doors open for them] We think violence is bad... How do we deal with rape fantasies? How do we deal with abused wives who say: 'He beats me because he loves me.'... Post-feminists are the closest to dealing with this... Sado-masochists... Let's not imagine we are all straight. We all have our own perversions. We're not all straight, in this room. Are we? Maybe it's just me.
- [On rape and rape fantasies] The male model: Woman is just incoherent in her thoughts. At first she says yes. Later she says no.
- [On Hoelling's Lemma] When you prepare for exams, when I prepare for exams - the things which have names - better to know... Hotelling. He was a great guy.
- [On Hoelling's Lemma] If you ask any economist what profit depends on, you will get [a] wrong answer.
- You just derivate with respect to this. (differentiate)
- [On checking second order conditions] Big cross. *draws cross in air* I found a minimum, not a maximum... So everything was destroyed in one day.
- [On grading] Sometimes I marked - nothing. But I added one point to the following exercise.
- [On quibbling for marks] Your grade may change - 2 plus, 2 minus. So if you get 35, you may get 37, you may get 33... Marking of exam is a subjecive exercise... If one exercise is done brilliantly, [even if] you put 7 [marks only], you have good attitude. (originally got, exams, will have a good mood as a marker)
- You can come to my office only if your grade is less than 25 [upon 40]. If you get above 25, there is no problem... In some case if you come with me with 35 you come out with 33... [Student: He's doing the CJ thing. You come to me you get {an} increased penalty] (cases, to)
- [On quibbling for marks] If you score below than 30, you are welcome. Otherwise... You study for the final exam... What do you need more? A 2 plus? (scored below, What more do you need)
- We assume that each individual lives for 2 periods. Just before the end of his life, he eats a $2 plate of chicken rice. Then he dies.
- [On a 2-period model with uncertainty] He wakes up in Period 1 and says: 'My God, I'm alive'... If he didn't save very much he's going to be in trouble.
- Try and derive this for yourself. It's not that difficult. And it's not that simple either.
- [On CPF vs an annuity] If you live beyond 72, there's no more money for you. So you're supposed to die at 72.
- Family as an incomplete annuity market... If the father lives too long the son is in trouble. *laughs from audience*... This may seem very funny but there's articles in the literature. JPE...
- Whenever you talk about the economic rationale, you must look at the mathematics. It's not just guessing.
- [On a hard question] Volunteer? *silence* This is the question which separates the men from the boys.
- You look nervous. You're on the right track. Take your time. Looks good so far.
- [On the final exam] Not bad. It's my birthday. We can celebrate the end of the semester.
- Today the dean wanted to talk to me. By special invitation. How can I say no? He's my boss.
- [On fund-raising] They can rename all the rooms... Rename all the trees on the yard.
- [On entrepreneurship among the poor] They sell flowers, they sell water. For the young girls, they sell their body.
- [On the pre-emption law in the US in the 19th century] The former squatters are no longer called 'squatters'. They are now called 'pioneers'.
- [On moral hazard] They sell the property, they use the money to drink and have a party, then they go and squat again.
- I am very disappointed in some of your colleagues... I make final very very severe. I give everyone A and B. It is not enough. Especially this girl... Insult teachers... This is unacceptable... Girl. I don't know. 20 years old, behave as children. Strange... You should discipline the girl (coursemates, will make the, hard, Even though I gave, or, wasn't, but behaves like a child)
- [On hypothetical quibbling for marks in an MCQ exam] It will be A-B-A-B. But the same person will come to me: 'I had in mind 'B'. I wrote 'C''.
- Iso-experience lie (expenditure line)
- If you are reasy to substitute 1 can of Coca Cola for 3 bottles of Pepsi Cola, what is the price difference of Coca Cola and Pepsi Cola? [Me: A lot because 1 can - 3 bottles]
- per'zh'earl (Peugeot)
- mer'sair'diss (Mercedes)
- [On the Kennedy School of Governance] You know what they said? Don't turn on the camera yet... One of the things the alumni were not happy about was the school was not teaching them things about the real world... 'What we need is 1) We need to improve oral communication skills, written communication skills.'
- A variational technique or a perturbation technique. I am fond of big words.
- In economics there are many Euler equations. Euler was just so creative.
- In the real world there're borrowing constraints. Suppose you go to the bank and say 'Today I'm a poor student. In 10 years I'll be the Prime Minister of Singapore'.
- C1 is excessive sensitive to W1 (excessively)
- Just think about your experience in groupwork... 2 people in a group - probably okay. 3 - you have the problem of free-riding. And that's only three.
- [On a presentation] I'm gonna skip some animations which I did last weekend and have forgotten why. (the reason for)
- I went to Japan one day. I went to Toyota. Every morning they pledge allegiance to the flag of [Toyota]
- In Japan, reputation is so important. if you are accused of a crime, the proper thing to do is commit suicide. The Livedoor chief is an exception.
- [On criticism] As the saying goes, as my mother tells me, if the tree has a lot of ripe fruit, everyone will be throwing stones at it.
- [On the goverment] They ignore the post-modernist, who is just standing around making noise.

- [On stopping NKF corruption] You can pay him more so that he can afford to take First Class flights on his own salary.
- Here maybe I did [something] wrongly. No no, it's ok, it's ok... I hope I solved [the problem] correctly here.
- First degree. Second degree. Third degree price discrimination. It is hard to remember... I had [a] discovery. I came to [a] conclusion. First degree price discrimination is not hard to remember. (made)
- Uncertainty is the last topic where you will have real exercises. The rest, small topics. Just blah blah.
- I wake up in the middle of the night and ask you: utility should be concave or convex? [Student, sotto voce: I'll tell him I want to sleep]
- There are two important numbers in the world. First is this [e]. Second is pi.
- I'm sure all of you have been eagerly awaiting - optimal control theory. Today you will finally learn simple optimal control theory.
- You're not required to know the proof of the Pontryagin Maximum Principle. I also don't know it. You just employ it. Like a recipe - cook book.
- You can look up another book by Alpha Chiang. 'Fundamentals Methods of Dynamic Optimization'... forget the 'Fundamentals'.
- Next week we'll have an even more exciting problem.
- difficult is notation (notation is difficult)
- [On becoming more risk averse when you become richer] Why it may happen? People are greedy, for example... I have 5 billion dollars. I don't even want to lose $10.
- What's the importance of the social sciences in Singapore? *Silence* Come on, at least pretend they're important. Even though some people wanted to close down the Philosophy department here.
- Social scientists, instead of solving the problem, will turn around the problem, or find a problem with the problem.
- One of the earlier efforts, in the education system, was to write a manual on how to teach creativity. It was quite a thick manual, I was told.
- [Me on metaphors for the state-citizen relationship: The teacher encourages the students to give their views, but if they're wrong he shouts them down.] I'm feeling very nervous at this point.
- Students can demonstrate, they can stop coming to class. What stops them from having a 'class consciousness'?
- Essays are modernist projects. They have arguments... they have a framework.
- [On national projects vs welfare] They'll rather spend money building huge buildings, large airports, than throw money at people.
- [Student on metaphors for the state-citizen relationship: I can choose which team to support.] No you can't. There's only one party to vote for.
- [On the government wanting to be liked] That's why Catherine Lim, 1994... People no longer love the government... It hit them very hard.
- The Singapore Story is the Lee Kuan Yew story. What happened to the coolies, rickshaw drivers, prostitutes... It's about the PAP on the playing field, scoring goals for Singapore.
- Sometimes people say 'it's all about the fans', but they don't mean it. Our government doesn't even say it.
- [On sports bounties] It also shows the government's pragmatism, because they know they'll never have to pay the money.
- The GIC has $100 billion, which it invests overseas. Suzhou being a stunning example of success... CPF?... The money it makes doesn't go back to your CPF.
- 'Eternal life' is one of those ideas. Like 'nation'... 'Nation-building' is never complete... Moses brings people to the Promised Land, but you never reach it... It's an unreachable goal.
- [Student on metaphors: The believer follows the religious leader. I don't want to say 'blindly', because I'm a Christian]... This assumes the deity is real. It could be a Wizard of Oz. A little man operating a machine.
- [On faith] Hell is Thailand. That's what the PAP does. Or Malaysia... PAP doesn't say if you democratise you become like Scandinavia, high quality of life. They say you democratise, you become like Bangkok - riots. Malaysia - Dr M.
- [On founding fathers] It's the Solonic thing. You have to quickly disappear, otherwise you will become more and more human. [Student: You crucify him] Or his son.
- It's very hard to be an atheist... We all want to believe... Even though our rational beliefs militate against it.
- This is approximately my salary. If you are in [a] good university, you get 20,000 a month. Maybe I exaggerate a bit.
- [On the Allais Paradox] For Chinese people they prefer gambles, so there is no contradiction... In China, this theory works well. In France, it's not that good.
- You cannot enter this market. He is [a] predator. If you enter he will kill you.
- [On the chicken game] Here, this is no issue that they will deviate in the same direction [and still crash].
- pah'tense (patents) (Ed: 'Pah' is pronounced the French way)
- [On market entry] And then you have hotels. Easy to enter and hard to exit. Which I don't know why. (Why this is so, know)
- This pre'day'tery pricing (predatory)
- This person is assumed to live forever. Quite a common assumption in Economics.
- [On optimal control] Let's employ all of the conditions and solve the model. It's gonna be fun.
- The Solow Model, which should be second nature to any economist. You know it like the back of your hand... No need to memorise it. You know it subconsciously.
- The social planner is assumed to be a benevolent dictator. Like the PAP government. Supposedly.
- They provide time series analysis, they provide cross-sectional analysis. Basically lots of complicated stuff I don't understand.
- Think about your boyfriend. or husband. Marriage is a credible commitment problem.
- [On religious knowledge] 1984. In the 80s, people were saying really crazy things... Weber... Protestant ethic... Some kind of structure of explanation was offered in the 80s. Asian Tigers... Confucian ethics was the big thing... Make people more respectful, obedient... They wanted everyone to do Confucian Ethics, so they made all the exams multiple choice. The others were all essays, short answers.
- [On 'Shared Values', 1991] Empty signifiers... Apple pie, motherhood... Their purpose is served by being there: 10 Commandments... Something people can look to and worship.
- I don't know what this is like. What is Civic and Moral Education like? [Student: Irritating]
- [On Civics and Moral Education] Nothing to do with rights. Nothing to do with 'what to do when you're being seriously hounded by the ISD'
- [On propaganda and social engineering] We have this entire culture of cynicism in Singapore... Ironically, or maybe not ironically, it's because of the government... No one trusts the government... Isn't it scary? Everyone votes for a government which nobody trusts.
- [On 'Being and Becoming', 1984] A lot of teachers said they couldn't deal with it, because it was too profound... I don't think it went on for more than 1 or 2 years.
- [Student on Malaysian civics: If you see a foreigner saying bad things about your country, what will you do?] Tell Mahathir.
- [On Singapore 21] You spend your precious time... Your evenings... Then: 'The Singapore Heartbeat'
- Some of these have become ideological markers of resistance. 'Every Singaporean Matters' has been used as a rallying call by the gay movement.
- [On theory in term papers] It was like garnishing. You cut the carrots and put them on top to look nice. [Student: What do you want us to do?] Cook the carrots with the dish.
- [On theory in term papers] In Political Science it's very easy to write essays which are like coffeeshop talk. Which is great, I like to read them. But what is the purpose of the module?
- In our life, we often free-ride... For example we have [a] coffee machine in our department, and it's free. So I started to drink coffee 5, 6 times a day.
- splitted (written) (split)
- scar'la product (scalar)
- VTO agreement (WTO)
- [On over-emphasising equality] In France, you give rights to everybody, then you have zero economic growth... That is not good... They have this green car... They get everything free... 100 guys with one car [each]... This is not very good. (card)
- You should think about this, because if you can understand this then you can go on to Graduate Studies.
- [On contacting him during Reading Week] This is the office phone, in case of [an] emergency.
- [On the Yen Carry Trade] It's been featured in the newspapers a lot in the past few weeks and if you don't read then it's your funeral.
- [On no one knowing how the economy works] All these things you better know, before you go for your job interview, otherwise you'll be in trouble.
- Assume the government has a target ratio of foreign workers to domestic workers. They will not flood Singapore with foreign workers.
- Here I go against 1983, my own paper. Nevermind, times change.
- [On IS shifting down being okay in Singapore regarding employment] The argument is that it's not that bad, because some foreign workers can be told to go home.
- [On sticky prices] I have not observed the prices in the hawker centre go down very much, right, in response to the CPF cut.
- [On the take-home exam] It's actually a lot of fun... for me... You'll be cursing me. The next day you'll be thanking me. Well, you won't be thanking me. It's a good experience to go through.
- [On pay hikes] You see in the press a whole lot of ideological work at this time.
- [On the guns not being used] You can be a Professor here and say the most horrifying things, and you'll never go to jail.
- We went on to look at the Frankfurt School, and we gave up on Jurgen Habermas.
- Post-modernism takes critique to its extreme... Post-modernists react in a variety of ways. One way is to celebrate - hooray. Critique is nonsense... Richard Rorty and contingency... One way - it works, we don't need philosophy... Another way is more nihilistic, solipsistic. Oh no. There is no truth. What are we to do.
- [To me] I used to have hair like you when I was an undergraduate. That's why I'm like this now. I used to tie it behind really tight.
- unique trijectory (trajectory)
- [On child labour laws] They're withdrawn from the factory. Most of them become street sex workers.
- The GINI coefficient in Singapore is one of the highest in the world... This is unique to Singapore because the government is so wary of having a minimum wage... The result: a competitive economy with low wages for the bottom. We have a structural problem.
- The British have been trying to reform their property rights [laws] since the 12th century.
- Capitalism is like masturbation.

--- NUS Staff (second half of semester, after mid-semester break)

 

- [On the Honours class] The smarter they get, the uglier they get. [Me: How about us?] Present company excluded, as usual... [Student 2: I'm not smart. So I'm pretty] [Me: Would you rather be smart or pretty?] [Student 2: Pretty, because I can diao jing kui. {Translation: Catch a rich tortoise}]
- My philosophy of philosophy is that philosophy is crap.
- You know the girls in maths are really pretty? Serious serious serious.
- I realise that USP classes, people bo hia (?) accent. I buay jalan.
- All the books I got from closed stacks, all the books are Marxist books.
- [Me on Honey-Lemon: It looks like pee] Is it good? [Me: Yeah, it's good pee.] *Tch*
- How come there're a lot of CAP 5s in Business? [Student 2: Business easy mah]
- [On being hit on by gays] I've gotten used to it... So for 3 guys have tried to pick me up... [Me: How many girls have tried to pick you up?] 0. The statistics don't work in my favour.
- [On reforming the ISA] I argued that if you don't torture, how do you get the guy to confess?... [Student 2: You meet all sorts of scary people in class]... [Instructor: Before we go on, note that torture is not part of the law... We are Singapore, but still.]
- [To the instructor] My expectation from you is that I can easily get an A from you.
- My grouse with most of the modules in this school is that they are all Economics based. Whine whine whine.
- [On panicking on the SPI tour] We [will] get someone to pacify you.
- [Female student acting:] I'm a 24 year old guy who has had no luck at the SDU... Maybe I'm ugly. [Female student 2: Maybe you are]
- [On getting a HDB flat] I'm an orphan... I'm 40, where do I go? Stay in the orphanage?
- I got retrenched. I can't even afford a studio apartment. [Female student role-playing a PAP cabinet minister: Work harder]
- [Me on comments on the Cash Harvest Cult post: Not as many as the Dawn Yeo post] What does this show? Religion is not as important as pretty girls.
- [On the hardest undergraduate Economics module] This should be called 'Independent Study Module'
- SMU people are really good at packaging their bullshit about their school.
- [Me: I slack for ***, you help me with ***. I work on *** this sem, next sem I help you with it.] Inter-temporal smoothing. I see. Inter-temporal optimization.
- [Me: {I'm doing} Democratic Possibilities in Singapore.] Is there democratic possibilities in Singapore? [Me: Precisely. That's why it's such a brilliant title] (are)
- A lot of the top students in secondary schools, instead of going to the good JCs like RJ they go to the middle JCs so they can remain at the top. [Instructor: Oh, I thought you said they had a more enlightened idea.]
- I find it quite ironic that we're sitting in USP and talking about elitism. *uproarious approval from audience*
- I just realised I was actually looking at your hair during lecture and I realise it's quite nice. [Me: Thanks]
- [On Hari-Kiri] You must dis-semi-bowel yourself (disembowel)
- [Me: Why don't you tell us about sexuality from a female perspective?] Orh. We just lie there, open our legs and let it go in lor.
- Lit screws with the mind. That's the secondary reason why I'm so screwed up.
- Out of the frying pan, into the boiling pot. Something like that. Or the other way round, whatever.
- [On reduction mammoplasty] You should go. [Me: You're just jealous right] You should go, then transplant the fats to me. Actually I don't need your fats. Just take from here. *grabs alleged lovehandles*
- I'm an exchange student. Bangkok counts as a module for me.
- [On gossip] Life is already so boring here. Let's be positive. [Me: Positive meh] There's more to bitch about.
- Are you religious? [Me: No] Me too... Is your family religious?... It's hard for me, because they're Muslim... I don't tell them. I don't want to get blown up.
- Are the people in your class morons?... The quality is going down. [Me: It was when they all started speaking Chinese]... Nowadays the [USP] students... I was in the Writing Centre. They were all chattering in Chinese.
- Is it ner'sair'sur'ree? (necessary)
- [On hall] If you see a very very quiet guy, it's very likely he's slept with someone already.
- [Instructor: Unions are very traditionally part of Civil Society.] So things like NTUC...
- Mine cannot ask for extention. If I ask for extension she'll probably go into labour. (For my term paper, I, for an)
- [On the Arts-Science divide] It's quite funny actually. Every Monday and Thursday me and my friend look at people entering the lecture hall for 'Perfumes and Cosmetics'. We will label them 'Arts', 'Science', 'Others'.
- My opinion of soci majors has plummeted. I'm taking a soci module, and in the tutorial, half the girls' ambition is to be a SIA stewardess. It's the most vapid class I've had in 3 years of [university] education... Before the class they were going: 'You have a mole, you can't be a SIA stewardess'
- [On the term paper] You can do it 2 nights before and still get an A... [Me: People have this inaccurate impression of me] You look smart. This is your curse.
- [Instructor on the Necessary Stage: They were accused of being Marxist. Front page.] But the guy who runs it, isn't he Marxist?
- [Me: Where're you going?]... Maybe to the library. Somewhere where there's more girls.
- I used to be Christian. [Student 2: I used to be Christian too. Their brainwashing machine breaks down.]
- I'm in Year 4. I just want to pass. Just give me a B.
- He said he'd send in the army if they brought in other people [into government]. The army is made up of guys. What will the girls do? [Me: Have you heard of 'Lysistrata'?] No. [Instructor: You withdraw your sexual favours] You can try. [Student 2: You're not a guy!]
- [On youth apathy] Who among us is willing to be a Francis Seow? [Student 2: *raises hand*]
- [Me to someone wearing tights: Don't you feel hot?] My dress is too short. [Me: Wear {a} longer dress lah]
- [Me: How come you keep bumping into them?] Because you don't go to places where girls go... Places where they can spend money frivolously.
- Gabriel, I decided not to major in Econs anymore. [Me: Congratulations. *shakes her hand*]
- [On a KAT-TUN music video] I don't want to see [it], my IQ will drop.
- [Me: California girl... She speaks with a Californian accent.] That's just a fucked up American accent.
- One thing I absolutely cannot stand about university guys: they're all so desperate... It makes my hair stand on end.
- [Me: Why don't Indians eat pork? It's impure right...] We [Hindus] believe if you eat pork, you have to be reborn 100 times. I've had it 5 times... It was worth it.
- There's only one road you can go down if you take this path. [Me: What?] Destruction... The feminist lecturers: If you're pro-feminist they love you... Feminism is damn biased. It's the only discipline in academia which is allowed to be so biased. [Me: Have you seen race studies?]
- [Me: What do you learn in 'Understanding Irony'?] That you cannot understand irony.
- [Me on a Geylang research trip: Did you meet any street walkers?] A lot. [Me: all PRC?] A lot of nations. It's like the UN.
- You can't discuss in my tutorial. There're too many arrogant people.
- [Student on 'supermen': Girls, is it?] Yeah. Guys have more sense than that.
- [Me: My theory is they wear leggings so they don't get upskirted.] They don't think so practically.
- I'm a girl. I'm irrational. Girls are irrational. It is our duty to be irrational to perplex guys.
- I have come to hypothesise that when pissed, all girls will go: 'Whatever, whatever, whatever'. I base this upon 4 girls.
- [On someone looking through my wallet] Look at what girls check out first. Your credit card.
- Singaporean girls have nothing to show, so it doesn't matter if they go around topless. [Me: Like you lah. I'm larger than you.]... I have nice nipples... I want to keep my nipples to myself.
- Whatever I type into the search engine, I find your blog.
- [Me: Women are attracted to jerks] I'm not attracted to you.
- [On being ugly] People used to throw things at me.
- [Year 3 student:] I look worse and worse every sem. [Me: So you must have looked fabulous when you entered NUS.]
- [Me on someone's jacket: You something something, let's hug.] Maybe it's 'You bastard, let's hug'.
- I love business. It's all about exploiting people... My degree is the best. Finance. You risk money, but it's not your money. It's other people's.
- [On the prata sausage roll] It's damn expensive, for something that isn't even as thick as my dick. [Me: At least it's more tasty] My dick isn't flaking.
- [Me on zaogeng-ing: Later the one who'll be standing here is not me but ***] He already cannot teach, don't distract him further. [Student 2: Maybe if you distract him he'll teach better.]
- Compared to him, even *** is ok. His notes are okay. You can't understand what he's teaching but at least you know what he's trying to teach.
- Bitchy means 'fond of making unpleasant comments about people'. Tactless means 'Lacking or exhibiting a lack of tact; bluntly inconsiderate or indiscreet.' So you're a tactless bitch lah. [Student 2: Yeah, that works]
- I have this module ***. All he does is tell stories. Talk about how he got a *** wife. He gives the tutorials to us. Basically all the questions you have to google for the answers. It's not in books.
- [All together during Open House: PGP sucks... PGP sucks] I think there's a reason we were not chosen to host [the open house]
- Do you have a girlfriend? [Student: Err, kind of] [Student 2: What kind of answer is that? Sounds like my boyfriend.] [Student 3: Guy or a girl?]
- She looks so pretty now with her tudung. [Student 2: That's obviously not the truth...] [Student 3: We're talking about Siti.]
- In my block there was a PRC and an Ang Moh who was having sex... 1 1/2 hours they were screaming, on a bright and sunny day such as this.
- [Me: He gets to grope girls during training.] What kind of training is that? [Me: Cheerleading] Oh, right.
- [On academic freedom] Critical thinking can land you in jail.
- I hate Subway... Too many vegetables... I don't like vegetables. [Student 2: I'll get you {one} without vegetables.] Then it's not worth my money.
- I don't know what I did in 2 years in university. I've been deteriorating. All my morals and values have been deteriorating.
- [Me on Him Heang Tau Sar Piah: Hehe. It has the good stuff in it... Lard] What kind of lard is it? [Me: How many types of lard are there?]
- [On his skills] I don't massage guys. I only massage girls.
- [On her thesis] I was thinking of doing a book review.
- You're not gay. You don't have the gay aura... The first time I saw you I thought you were a Red Indian.
- [On leading one seminar] 'Play games'. Why don't you play the tudung game? Make everyone wear tudungs... The guys can wear a tudung.
- [Student: My friend and I made fun of each other. My friend is Indian [, and I am Chinese]. Last time when I was in secondary school we made fun of ourselves. I made fun of the Chinese, the Malay made fun of the Malays, the Indian made fun of the Indians. Then we all laugh. That are the days. (laughed. Those were)
- My hall lost about 5000 bucks for my hall production. [Me: Was it that bad?] It was that bad. [Student 2: This kind of thing is only viable if it's done in - LT13] (our)
- [Me: Why did you change your shoes?] I don't know, I just felt like it. [Student 2: Never ask a girl about shoes.]
- I want to be a housewife. I'll use my university degree - there's a pool of guys who're gonna be rich in the future... I can go for manicures, spas.
- [On the term 'minah'] It's not racist, unless he says it.
- I can so see you coopted into the PAP... Please remember us when you get coopted.
- Indian men are huge, huge. Not [from] experience. [Me: I thought your boyfriend is in Sri Lanka] They can rival African men. Not [from] personal experience.
- [On feminism, mate preferences and black wife-beating] Obama is half white. He's rich, he went to Harvard. If he beats me I don't mind.
- Imagine if America has a black president: the country will die of a cocaine overdose.
- [Student: What's with you and black people?] Come on. I got stalked by 2 black people... 'China doll'... [Me: China Dog or China Doll?] China doll lah. *slaps me* [Me: 'You're my bitch']
- They say oysters are an aphrodisiac. It's not true. I ate 2 dozen. I only wanted to sleep. I was so full.
- [Student on camp OGLs: You don't need Gabriel.] If you have Gabriel, you'll have a lot of little Gabriels next year. [Me: *Wth?!*]
- [On a camwhoring celebrity] She's had plastic surgery. She can't do more than one expression on her face.
- [On my hair] I can imagine it being used as a seduction tool. But as a weapon? That only happens in Mortal Kombat!
- [Me: I don't like Perk Point. The chairs make me fall asleep.] I'll pull your hair if you fall asleep. [Student 2: I'll kick you in the balls.]
- [On footwear] I think Arts girls like to show their toes... Science girls like to cover their toes.
- [On racial harmony] You must have [a] Curry Puff with Char Siew inside.
- I wasn't listening to you. I was combing my hair. [Me: I thought gils can multi-task.] I'm multi-tasking. I'm brushing my hair while ignoring you. (brushing)
- [On a picture of someone in a spaghetti strap] What an interesting picture... Is she wearing clothes? [Student 2: You better hope she doesn't have a black man for a boyfriend, otherwise he'll come beat you]
- hammar party (hammer) (written)
- lighting party (lightning) (written)
- Most of the people of his age, they have been rised (his, raised)
- So there's a snow board effect (ball)
- I asked everyone: 'Are girls weird?' Yes. [Me: Did you ask girls?] Yes. They all said yes.
- Science people are very inconsiderate... Arts people - they ask you which floor you want... Science people - they just press their floor... I got hit by the [lift] door the other day.
- [Me: If you didn't have fingers, would you wear gloves?] Yes. To cover up what I don't have.
- Give me the crust [of your apple cobbler]. [Student 2: You haven't finished {our tiramisu}!] I ate half already. [Me: *finishes Tiramisu] [Student 3: High five! *hi-fives*]
- [Instructor: Have you walked in the footsteps of the urban poor?] We had food there [the slum] but it was brought [in] from outside.
- [Me: Someone accused me of committing atrocities. What the hell?!] Did you slay women and children?
- [On Jstor search] Stalin's Message to Japan. How is this related to Food in Thailand?
- Ooh. Let's come up with more soundbites so he can quote us.
- [On jerking my head to hit people] Do it again. I like to watch. But not [when done] to us.
- I'm going to study with *** at 4. [Student 2: Study what? Study ***?]
- [To an Indian student] Are you from Chinese High? Apparently not.
- [On "Divide: 1 / Wisdom: 52" in 'Don't Come Knocking' not being deliberate] It's always disappointing when you find out this sort of thing.
- I like Hoe Garden (Hoegaarden)
- [On the OkCupid 100 Point Sexual Purity Test] What is fisting?... I want to do it too! I want to do it too!... The survey... [Student 2: Usually 'it' means sex.]
- You make fun of an Indian - the government doesn't have a problem with it. You make fun of a Chinese - the government doesn't have a problem with it. You make fun of an Malay - they think they're going to riot... It's racist.
- I actually look okay in this picture. [Me: So you look like shit normally? Okay.]... You're supposed to contradict me. [Student 2: It's a girl game.]
- [Me: It's her second UTI? {Urinary Tract Infection}] [Student 2: Third.] *** has interesting friends.
- S papers are supposed to make you more creative... If you just do Maths, Physics, More Maths, More Physics - I'm sorry to the Maths and Physics people.
- [On purposefully mistranslating propaganda songs] We were trying to find the government-approved version, but we couldn't, so we took some artistic license.
- Reasons why you should go to SMU: the girls are hotter, you can develop relationships with your project mates because there're so many projects, you can talk to professors to upgrade your grades
- I remember when my friend started using Friendster, she used her picture, then no one messaged her. She change it to a picture of her stroking her cat. Then all the guys started to message her.
- I'm going to make a heretic statement (heretical)
- an'trer'prer'neer (entrepreneur)
- [Lecturer: What is democracy?] Chaos.
- Do you enjoy having long hair? [Me: Do you think I'm masochistic?]... Are you attracted to girls?... Some guys are not attracted to girls [, some are asexual and not necessarily gay]... [Me: Half the people think I'm gay.] You're not gay. [Me: Half the people think I'm asexual]... Does it bother you?
- You're not allowed to quote me without my express permission.
- *** - is that your real name? There's this friend of his. I don't know her name. He calls her 'Frigid Girl'
- [On my hair] Damn nice. Can I kope [take] from you?
- [On someone] Her shopping bag is bigger than her school bag. That tells you about her priorities.
- [On her survey] Are you done? [Me: I'm deconstructing your methodology] [Student 2: You shouldn't give a survey to Gabriel]
- Is it okay to be massaged by a guy with a girlfriend?... [Student 2: There's no such thing as a clean massage... and there's nothing wrong with that]
- [On anonymous feedback] Even if you put it anonymously, everyone will know it's Gabriel. (give)
- [To me] I can see the mockery in your expression, the slight smirk in your smile.
- I like Frigid Girls... De-frigidifying them.
- The one ironical thing about NUS to me is that girls come to lectures in the shortest skirts and shorts, and then wear a big jacket because they're cold.
- [On chili and endorphins] Now you know why people walk on fire.
- [On his term paper] I had to stoop to consulting a children's encyclopedia.
- [On not answering her handphone] You know why? Because I like this song so I let it ring freely.
- [On a survey] Why [do] you ask me for my hobbies? [Do] You want to find a boyfriend is it? (boyfriend)
- [Me: The have 'Harvard College in Asia'. Do they have 'NUS College in Harvard'?] That's the first question I asked last year.
- At least we have laws protecting our women. In the US they don't have laws protecting their women. [Many students: What?!] Do they? [US Student: YES!!!]
- When the government goes head to head against the Malaysian government, all of us rally around and say how stupid the Malaysians are. Except *** [a Malaysian student]
- [Student: Fucking hell.] I don't think there's fucking in hell... Otherwise a lot of people will be signing up for hell.
- Who's your girl? [Student: I've no idea.] Stop doing this whole thing... And I'm the Queen of May. All bow to ***.
- You know what's good about PGP food? Nothing.
- [On her tube top] I just bought this, so it's too loose. [Student: Like you?]... [Student 2: There're 2 things you never call a girl. Slut and loose.
- Why the hell would I be naked in the library?... Is there a naked library somewhere I should know about?
- [On two-timing] I don't know how guys juggle girls. It's a lot easier to juggle guys than juggle girls... [Student: Guys don't care]
- Can you at least make it anonymous, otherwise my juggling days are over?... The easiest is overseas relationships. No one will ever know... the more nationalities, the better... I'm seriously gonna get multi-citizenships. There're a lot of prospects.
- We have a huge masturbation community in Kent Ridge... This guy didn't close the blinds... [Student: Outside the block there's a PRC flat] The biggest sex scandal in hall involved a PRC. The biggest wanking scandal in hall involved a PRC.
- From my room I can see this couple. The girl is always sitting on the guy's lap. Then when the blinds close... I need X-ray goggles.
- [On Malay Fighter Pilots] There're more than one. Now there's two... They'll form a Malay squadron and defect to Malaysia.
- Do guys think of suicide? [Student 2: I think there're guys who commit suicide too]... [Student 3: You think only girls commit suicide meh?]
- You know they say guys, when they're 24 years old, they're like 20... [Student: So when I was 4, I wasn't born yet... Must've been a retard who said that. Stupid feminists. I hate feminists.]
- [Instructor: *** is god. He chooses his ministers.] And he sends his only begotten son. [Instructor: Well.]
- [On me] He got quite a lot of luck, but bad luck.
- I need to jian3 fei2. [Translation: Lose weight]... [Me: Then your breasts {will} shrink, how?] Get breast implants lor.
- [On TS Eliot] I like the sex scenes.
- [On what nationality/race she'd want to be] Spanish, because the women are hot and the men are even hotter.
- [On PRCs] In hall, they leave their used sanitary pads around. [Student 2: There's 1 guy who cuts his hair over the sink and leaves it there.]
- 'Kiasu' just entered into the Oxford English Dictionary. [Student 2: Oxford or Coxford?] Oxford.
- d'rar'cornic identity (draconic)
- The image NUS promotes... 2 ang mohs, 1 african... 2 indians, 1 chinese. You come here: they're all chinese. [Student 2: You mean PRC]
- After taking some Chinese modules, I don't like China anymore.
- I had a quarter boyfriend. [Me: Why, because you only went to First Base?] You're only the second person to comment that.
- Isn't obvious I like him?... You see me crying when I'm with him. [Me: If you're crying why do you like him?] Because I have ***?... [Student 2: It's okay. You can go for muti-citizenship theory.] [Student and Me: They're both American!]
- I don't use tampons... You know the thing about tampons. [Me: They makes you looser?] Yeah. [Me: If I stick my finger in your vagina everyday, it's not going to make you looser]. Eugh! Stop it! It's a foreign object. [Student 2: So is. *tsk*]... [Student 3: A dick is a foreign object also] [Student 2: A dick is a foreign as things go, honey, especially in your case.]
- He's cute. This is the kind of guy who qualifies for a fling. *** is the kind of guy who qualifies for marriage. *** is the kind of guy who's a fallback plan.
- Do you think anyone knows I'm two-timing? [Me: I think everyone knows, except ***]
- [Student: I'm getting bored already.] It's so addictive... That means you have no life in Facebook either.
- Some departments are full of Marxists... These are like Geography and Ethnic Studies which no one cares about.
- When I came here I was blindsided. There's no right to free speech... [Instructor: It's in the Constitution, but that's where it remains.]
- [On her life in the KC branch of the franchise] Abortion videos were shown... before recess. Then during recess the canteen was really empty. [Instructor: You guys must really have had a problem with this.]... They would get a priest to come in and go: 'Teletubbies are evil. Kiss is evil. Ozzie Osbourne eats bats.'
- [On Malaysia and propaganda] I don't know how applicable this is. We had 80 values [to learn in school]
- [On USP] All my arts modules are government banging.
- [On Jiannie] You guys are not normal. You have long hair and you have a perky butt. People think you're gay.
- I used to be crazy about RI. I had the RI badge, PE shirt... [Me: If guys do that, they're perverted. If girls do that, it's just - strange]
- [On wearing a shirt with a teddy bear on it] It's a proven tactic. My classmate asked me for my MSN so she could find out where to find it.
- I don't like girls from engin because they look like robots.
- [On a deranged person] Are you sure he's Singaporean living in the US? Or is he from Mars, living on the Moon?
- I get very excited when I see the heart on Facebook, whether it's the whole one or the broken one. I'm just damn gossipy.
- You should've done Geography... You learn more Economics in Geography. Look at me, I know more Economics than you.
- Have you read Antichrist?... Knee Chee. [Me and Student: Nietzsche] Knee Chee. [Me and Student: Nietzsche]
- [Me: Should I go for my friend's presentation?] You should do what you want. [Me: I don't know what I want.] You're such a girl.
- They did a project on how left handed people are marginalised. [Me: Har?] It's social theory - everyone is marginalised.
- [A foreigner interfering in our domestic politics:] I went to Parliament. There's no debate until the WP guy says something, then Lee Kuan Yew gets pissed... Parliament is like masturbation. Everyone keeps complimenting each other.
- I talked to her for 2 hours. It's considered to be a fling... [Student 2: Then I must be a harlot or something... Did you at least talk dirty?]
- [Me: Your hair is showing] Aiyah. [Me: The point of wearing that {the tudung} is to hide your hair, so I feel obliged to tell you when it's showing.] Yah, my sister says 'haram'. [Student 2: My best friend keeps going 'haram, haram'. I'm not Muslim... I wear a short skirt - 'haram']
- In Nepal 5 workers can form a union. [Instructor: The Singaporean response to this {problem} is classic.]
- [Me: 'He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.']... You just insulted like 1/3 the population of USP.
- [On the 'writing' module] It's about the prof's own ego lor. It's what he agrees with.
- Do you know why finance lecturers are all gay? Because finance is a very anal topic.
- I won't say 'screw the professor' because he's gay, and I don't want to do that.
- [On feedback about leading the class] Mine has no strange or nasty comments, so I can't guess which one is Gabriel's.
- Are you going anywhere overseas? Oh fuck, Stanford. Why did I ask? Now I hate myself for asking.
- 'You and gabe gossip about me'. Na hea. If I gossip I will do it openly.
- [Me to someone camping in school for 5 days: You've been here for 120 hours right?]... Well, if you want to put it that way and make me sound like a loser, also can.
- [Student to a Muslim complaining about exams: Everyone's fighting the same fight.] I'm fighting for the liberation of Israel. What the hell am I saying? I'm fighting for the liberation of Palesteen. [Student 2: You're going against your own side.] Are there any Jewish people here?... I believe that the Holocaust happened. (Palestine)
- [On the take-home exam] Feminism: your favourite. You can write about your UDs.
- [On a Fong Seng outlet] You see the politics going on? They claim to be a Taiwanese food place but they're all PRC. They're conquering them.
- [Me: Girls all like to bake.]... Any girls like to program?
- [On the take-home exam about feminism] You look like a kid who's been taken into a candy shop. I pity women in the next 24 hours.
- Is she bringing her boyfriend with her? [Students: Which one?]
- [Me: Women like rich men] That's true. Or I can get so rich I don't need a rich man. [Me: You'll just look for an even richer man.] Yah.
- I have an exam at 5 o'clock. I have a 24 hour [exam] now. No time to eat. No time to sleep. [Me: No time to complain. *exit Gabriel*]
- Have fun! [Me: You find interviews very fun ah?] Yeah. Because I get to talk about myself.
- [Malay to a non-Malay] Too bad you're not Malay, otherwise we can start a racial riot.
- Day 1 of your period... Day 14 is when you're most horny. [Me: Your most fertile period.] [Student 2: I feel like a piece of land.]
- [Being sexist] This is when everyone ignores Gabriel. [Me: Help, I'm being oppressed... by women.]
- Why would I be into tentacle porn? I don't have tentacles.
- His blood is AB-normal.
- What's a s'whap club? [Me: You swap partners.] [Student 2: Sounds like salsa] (swap)
- *Enters room* I heard bitching and gossip. I've very sharp ears.
- I shall call her 'Jujube' because 'UD #6' sounds like a contraceptive.
- [Me: What's with the shawl?] I'm cold. [Me: Why don't you wear more?] [Student 2: Then it won't look nice.]
- I don't think RI boys are as stuck up as RGS girls... You add the feminine ego.
- What's BFG? [Student: Big Friendly Giant. Roald Dahl.] Who's Roald Dahl? [Student: You don't know Roald Dahl?] [Student 2: She's Malaysian.] [Student 3: Go home. We don't want you. Only your water.]
- I ask you ah. Is the science library 24 hours?... Cos I keep seeing people in the same clothes.
- [In a Middle Eastern restaurant] I brought cards. [Me: Gambling is...] [Student 2: Haram]
- [On dying her hair black] I've had enough of the Ah Lian look
- [On me] He was very surprised to find out that I was in NCC for 4 years... [Me: But girls' school NCC is wimpier than boys' school NCC] Fuck you.
- Do you have any normal stuff on your body?... Everytime you show me something it's something abnormal.
- [On my name card] Someone else already gave it to me.
- [Me: The primary female gender defects are irrationality, gullibility, risk averseness and paranoia.] [Incoming freshman with an elbow suddenly on me: Say that again?] Don't worry. He's going on to his final year so you only have one more year of this to go.
- [To incoming freshman] USP is full of people who are weird in their own way. So what's your... eccentricity?
- You are Bishan Gay-briel.
- If you were a girl - you are a girl. What am I talking about? [Someone: Do you want me to check?]
- [Me on some esoteric, intellectual conversation: Are you zoning out yet?] Yes. [Me: See, it's hard to find women like your sister.] Thank god.
- [On How Girls Waste Time] Tell me the most controversial one. [Me: Err. Locked in the bedroom for hours performing unspeakable acts?] You mean guys don't do that? [Me: They'e not mutually exclusive. Guys got recovery period.] You guys are disgusting. (have a)
- Can I ask you an awkward question?... Why do you want to keep long hair? [Student 2: Why do YOU want to keep long hair?] His hair is longer than mine lor.
- I thought Gabriel is a girls' name.
- [To some girl] I like your hair. [Me: Do you like my hair?] You should go and curl [it]. [Me: I go and rebond {it}, why would I curl {it}?] (went to)

--- NUS Students

 

- [On consulting] You do pretty much what your customer wants you to do. Just like a prostitute.
- The good news is that if there's no project, there's nothing to do. At all... Wake up late, go out in the day... [If you] Go to work, there's nothing to do. Might as well stay at home.
- [On his Alma Maters] The only thing I remember about Raffles is elitism.

--- USP Career Talk

 

- It is rude to use handphones on the train in Japan [Me: Is it rude to chikan?] You must say 'excuse me' first.
- [Girl on the Tokyo subway] Why are all the girls here so good looking?
- [Female student in Jap convenience store:] I'm looking for condoms.
- [On the temperature when it was raining at Nipponi station] I feel like I'm in a foreign country... Sometimes you go Malaysia and you feel like...
- [On our chaperone who wasn't a chaperone] What does his room look like?... Is he lonely at night?... No. I am not implying that.
- [On skateboarders in Stanford] The only people I see skateboarding are Mats in Tampines.
- All of us in this room are non-religious. *God is great*.
- How come there's a Chinese [TV] channel? [Student: Why cannot?] That's what happens when you have 300 channels. One of them will be a Chinese channel. [Student: You're horrible.]
- [Me: How heavy are your earrings?] Not as heavy as your hair.
- Can you don't walk so fast? We're in California. (not)
- [On my sweater around my waist] Your skirt looks like a belt (sweater)
- [On 'ascriptive inegalitarianism'] This is a term only a social scientist could love.
- Cynicism is good. Cynicism is what keeps us alive in Singapore. It stops us from commiting suicide... I want you to move from fatalistic cynicism to critical cynicism.
- You have a double chin. [Me: You noticed. Is it nice?] Which one?
- Now I know why you know so much. You don't watch TV. You use the time to go and read things.
- *Phone rings* Huh? [Me: Pick it up. You'll die in 7 days.] Fuck you. *Picks up* Hello? *Puts down phone due to lack of reply* [Student 2: You'll die in 7 days] Fuck you... *Phone rings again* [Student 3: Now you'll die in 6 days.]
- [When surrounded by Chinese people, signs and stuff] Are we in Chinatown?
- People carry guns at church in Texas, like a Western movie.
- I think all of my children are beautiful. They're probably not, but I think they are.
- preceed'duh'nce (precedence)
- I'm not dying for men. [Student 2: You're dying for a lot of things you will not say.] Yah, like sex. [Student 2: It came from your own mouth] (mention)
- In Singapore we are quite ignore'rernt (ignorant)
- [On buying prom dresses to return them the next day] How de'speckable they are (despicable)
- [On his band on in-head advisers ('what would xxx do?')] Mom, Dad, Mickey Mouse, Robin Hood, Maid Marian, Jimmy Cricket, Yoda.
- [Me on a 'Situational Leadership' graph: Business is bullshit. They just pull this shit out of their ass] I agree with you. There's no such thing as learning business.
- [Me on a 'Situational Leadership' graph: What do you think of the graph thing?] Bullshit... [Student 2: I am generally skeptical of all business models.]
- [Me on a string below the bust line: What's that string for?] For decoration... I feel uncomfortable now.
- I wanted to turn to my friend and say, 'Lim Yu Beng is damn hot' but just behind us was Tan Kheng Hwa.
- They try to be colour-blinded (blind)
- air'm'br'air'ce race's (embrace races)
- core'noy'sear (connoisseur)
- We're from Singapore. We speak English, but we have a lot of people who speak Chinese, Malay and Indian. (Tamil)
- [Female student: They're just standing still and keeping quiet.] They're communicating with their minds. [Female student 2: Guys like to make girls talk about them.] [Male student 2: Let them talk about us.]
- I hate Mexican food.
- [On bags not being allowed into the taping of the Late Late show] You're right. Women always carry bags. [Me: Be thankful that you're not a woman.] I know. I am, every day.
- Don't you just love looking at Gabriel? [Student 2: Not really. I've had enough of him after a semester.] ... Not listening to him. Looking at him at a distance. [Me: What's so interesting about looking at me?] Nothing. You're beautiful.
- I'm looking for a deep (dip)
- They f'lear'm everything (film)
- [On American Idol] The more I wait, the more I want to wait. [Me: You're irrational] [Student 2: I used to be like that too... Then I became enlightened.]
- Another 5 minutes and I'm leaving. My patience for tolerance... (waiting for the event)
- [On bunk beds] I'm a top guy... As in, I always sleep on top.
- [On gender segregation] I thought I'm not allowed to go into your room. [Me: {You can,} this is a sexist country]
- [On who is taller] Let's stand back to back... Nevermind, I don't want to know. Let's preserve our friendship. [Student 2: It's quite a fragile friendship.]
- [To Huishan] I shall waltz into the toilet and laugh at you.
- [In the Grand Canyon] Where're we going now? [Me: A place that starts with an M.] That's helpful. Are we going to Mcdonalds?
- [Me on a stop in the Grand Canyon: I forgot what this place is called.] Grand Canyon?
- [On an ad for the Excalibur's Chinese restaurant] Chinese cuisine with an modern twist? Both of them are Ang Mohs and she's holding a [piece of] sushi.
- It's not a zoo. [Me: It's a Secret Garden. I hope no little girls wander into the Secret Garden. They'll get eaten.] You try lah. [Me: I'm not a little girl.] Really? I didn't know that.
- My shoe is a 'training/entertainment' shoe... So if I'm bored I can just wear my shoes. (shoes are labelled, shoes)
- *Brings word document onscreen* Look at that... Don't look leh, very embarrassing.
- [On getting a Mac] I'm sick of Windows, and it looks good. I'm superficial. Looking good and dumb. [Student: At least you look good.] But you can't connect to wireless [networks].
- [Random comment while bathing: I'm inside] Okay. We're outside.
- [On Jabir and I] Between the diva and the monster, I choose the diva.
- You're so nice. [Me: I know. So why do I keep getting marginalised?] Because they don't get your GEP humour. [Me: So why don't you get marginalised?] I keep my GEP humour to myself.
- [On returning to Singapore] Don't you feel like bursting into song? [Student: What song?] *Sings* Home, truly.

--- Stanford Trip People