- Is this the right class? There's supposed to be 150 of you. First day, right?... For most of you this is the first class of the new semester, which probably explains why most of you aren't here.
- *Flashes slide: "Expect this course to be hard"* That's the good news.
- Some of the models will be pretty. Some of them will be ugly. You will take them all on.
- Causes from MIT (courses)
- Am I going too slow?... One nod. I guess it counts.
- [On grading] 4% is attendance. It was forced upon me by the faculty.
- [On homework] Copyright will be highly appreciated in this module... To be fair, I will punish both... You should keep your submission as confidential as possible. (He hasn't heard of Creative Commons)
- Science faculty graduates earn 5 times more. Excuse me, 5 percent times more than arts graduates (more)
- [On matrices] This matrix is totally different from the movie Matrix (...)
- Change position means change the poles (Transposition, changing)
- Row and colour (column)
- [On matrix multiplication] Your reaction seems to be - *flashes clipart of woman with a dropped jaw*
- If I give you a 100 by 100 matrix, can you invert it? Yes. But you don't have to know. The computer will know.
- What are you doing in science? [Student: Life sciences] So you don't like maths? [Student: I like it.] She likes mathematics.
- [To a Sikh] Am I allowed to crack any Singh jokes? [Sikh: I guess it depends.]
- XXX. [Student: Actually my first name is YYY.] I know, but this sounds better.
- What is the grade you got the last time you took my module? [Student: B-] You deserved it, did you? [Student: I think so, since you gave it to me.]
- We have 2 Kenneth Tans. So who's Kenneth Tan 1?
- [On a Dutch architect who designed NUS] This guy built this campus so students would get lost. [Student: No, it was so students wouldn't go on strikes... lots of hills, hard for students to congregate.] I hadn't heard of that theory. [Student: It's an urban legend.] I thought it was so the corridors would get wet everytime it rains. Please, this NUS building was not designed by engineers. It was designed by architects.
- [On the previous lecturer not stopping on time] I will make sure he stops on time. I have been here long enough. I know how things work... I will tell him 'a girl from your class complained'. That will throw him off the scent. [Student: It's a guys' class.]
- I don't like to call teachers here lecturers. Lecturers are like past US presidents who go around the country lecturing about the misdeeds which they have done.
- [On prestige in degrees] There were 3 things we could've done. Engineering, medicine or law. The others were not. *pauses* That was the choice available to me, anyway.
- Engineers have made themselves very boring. That might be a myth by the non-engineering people. The other group are doctors... They'll keep talking about past cases. You can't talk to them about current affairs. They'll take about some dead bodies
- [On a comparison with doctors and lawyers] Engineers are very stupid, they have no political clout.... If the engineers go on strike, nothing will happen.
- A lot of ministers were engineers... They have moved to other fields. They are probably not boring anymore... How come no engineers are challenging me? I am insulting your profession. [Student: This is your personal view right?... Sad to say, I agree with you.]
- They keep on inserting things, but they never take out anything... They have no time to digest... They just memorise and regurgitate. That is the way engineering is taught, not just in Singapore but all over the world.
- Anyone knows what financial engineering is? You cook the books, is it?
- The invitation is going to be from me. Where is ***? Please give this to your father... 'The letter is given to a student who would appear to know you. You can ask her for more information.' I don't know if he will be embarrassed or you will be embarrassed.
- [On Kipling's "If"] Triumph and disaster. Both are imposters. Just like universities these days. They talk about pedagogy and passion. Both are imposters.
- In the south of France, near Spain, they have a curved bridge. Not the crooked bridge that Mahathir is talking about. Malaysians build crooked bridges.
- t tie / t tar (theta)
- In Bangladesh, what happened to the reverse (rivers)
- Boys girls fruits flowers was a game we played. Have you heard of it? *laughs*... Boys and girls play similar games these days. I'm sure you've played something like that.
- [On Ned Herrmann's 4 quadrant model] By doing this he earns a million dollars... Who knows, it might be crap. It's up to you to sort all the crap from the not-so-crap... A lot of people get where they are with crap.
- Next to 'pedagogy' and 'passion', 'holistic' is the third most popular word. When people see someone using the word 'holistic' they just copy it. They don't know what it means, I think.
- If I see you in the corridor, I probably can't recognise you. I'm very bad at names and faces. Unless you've been very naughty in class. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
- *Fires toy gun with plunger dart at sleeping student* Can I have my bullet back?... I don't know if we are allowed to carry these things now... Could be trouble if you go on a flight.
- When you burn yourself, why do you put your thumb in your mouth? [Student: So that other people can see that you burnt yourself] That is lateral thinking.
- If you're an agricultural engineer. I don't know what that means, maybe you're a farmer.
- They move mainly in the same duration (direction)
- If you make your own double glazed glass, I recommend you put nitrous oxide inside instead of air... When the window breaks you'll be laughing.
- When my daughter was in primary school... "My father goes to the 'blank' for breakfast... [Student: Toilet]
- " My father goes to the market 'blank' breakfast"... Those who put 'for' were marked correct. My daughter wrote 'after'. Because she knows I won't step out of the house before breakfast. She got it wrong... I made her go to the teacher.
- *OHP makes noise* How do you get rid of this noise? [Student: Switch it off] Absolutely. No. *Hits OHP* That's how you get rid of this noise.
- This was an article I wrote 2 days after the Tsunami. I sent it to the Straits Times. They didn't publish it, because nothing was stolen, no one got molested... Now I'm forced to give the article to my students.
- Mathematics was, is and will always be an arts subject.
- That's the problem with scientists. They explain everything in maths and the layman cannot understand... It's useless.
- In most universities, maths was taught in the arts faculty - before your father was born.
- *** was reprimanded by the Anglican bishop 25 years ago for going onto the pulpit at St Andrew's cathedral and preaching that non-Christians can go to heaven... If heaven had only Christians it would be a pretty boring place. Praying and singing hymns all the time.
- [On skipping working and jumping to the answer] To minimise risk... 2 w a sigma a square - so you know right? So I just show you this [the final answer]
- Risk air verse / air worse investors (averse)
- If you know that textbook inside out, you will have no problem with this part of the course, but you probably will have no time for anything else.
- It's really important to say something about policy so that, among other things, they can feel good about themselves... Economists like to be employed.
- Let's have a recipe for building an engodenous growth model. Something you can do in your spare time.
- This is where technology gets growed (grown)
- Bob loo kaas (Lucas)
- [On R&D] Paul Romer really believes in his work, because after writing some articles he took a break, to make some money. He is now writing software for economics students.
- Jonos describes that as stepping on each others' toe (toes)
- How do you guys find the pace?... [Me: Is this your first time lecturing?] Yah. *To himself* 'Learning by doing' [Ed: Arrow, 1962]
- Shoom peter's assumption (Schumpeter)
- [On a regression explaining GPA] K may be number of male friends and female friends, number of disruptive friends, and so on.
- OSS estimator (OLS)
- Tenure identify the relationship between y and x 1? (Can you)
- [On a simple regression plot] The wildest estimator will be: you connect all the dots
- The correctness of dementia'n (dimension)
- If one assumption is broken down (violated)
- hypothetical testing (hypothesis)
- Now we move on to a little bit more poignant analysis, which is [the] normal distribution.
- I am reminded of the po sawn distribution... He was a cavalryman in Napoleon's army. He counted the number of men kicked to death by horses... That's how the po sawn distribution originated. (Poisson)
- The mathematics of it, which is meant for the mat'tee students (mathy - maths inclined)
- All grapefruit are vampires. Socrates is a grapefruit. So, clearly, Socrates is a vampire.
- [On lecturing] First week I was nervous. Last week I was ok. This week I'm ok again. It's like the judges from Singapore Idolare sitting in that row over there.
- [On giving time to copy notes] I would tell you some jokes in the meantime, but I think I ran out of all my jokes
- When you do computer work, you do not treat the computer as [a] person. You treat the computer as a machine... all raise (always)
- [On a scatter plot] There are 1534 dots. If you're not sure, please count.
- gr'air'f (graph)
- [On Eviews] If you have a difficulty, come back to me. I may or may not solve your problem, but I wish I could.
- [On errors with solutions] I just got this... I forgot to get the answer from the lecturer. I had to solve it during lunchtime.
- [On buying a textbook] If you are really serious about investment, you [will] buy one and you [will] keep it. But for this module the lecture notes are enough.
- A triangle has 4 sides. Is this true or false? Don't tell me false. Don't give me topology... Any mathematicians here? [Student: No] Good. Otherwise it becomes a maths problem.
- [On running overtime] The last time I was teaching this class, the Head of Department's class was next. He came up and stared at me through the glass door. I stared back. 'This is my class'... No one told me.
- Where's ***? I have to ignore some sections to make room for your dad. Tell him he has to be more interesting than differentiation and linear programming.
- 'All day he shivers at the thought of the bugs which will inevitably appear to jolt its smooth consummation'. That is a very... weird statement.
- [On Quality = Performance / Expectations] It's difficult to put numbers on these things, but managers are magicians... That is a managerial art.
- [Student on bridge weighing: How will you weigh it?] How do you weigh things? I will use your mother's weighing scale. Bring it to class.
- Tee bert? Holiday in Tibet?... Yah yah. When he was in Engineering he was also a bit unuusal... Don't tell these things to him. You can tell him this after the talk. (Tibet)
- [On skipping tutorials] Please don't tell us that your grandmother died for the 23rd time.
- We will do this without explicity encountering models (boo!) (written)
- We're not going to work with models. I'm sure that will be very disappointing to many of you.
- I do not do funny things. I only follow definitions.
- [On estimators having small variance being good] Let's think about the inference problem in the dating game... You'd like to bring your girlfriend somewhere in Singapore. Orchard. NUS. East Coast. Malaysia. You have to predict which places she will want to go... Her volatility is very high. Sometimes she will want to go to East Coast, sometimes she will want to go to Malaysia. This is not good. The couple will eventually break up. (Malaysia?!)
- Small least variance (smallest)
- Standardised jet statistic (Z)
- [Student: Do I have to answer any questions?] Pick who you want to answer... Here are the names and faces. Pick who you like or you don't like.
- Multiplication of matrices is in the imagination of mathematicians.
- The latest Oxford dictionary,from 2005, has the word 'irregardless' in it. But I will still not use it. It sounds vulgar to me. [Student: *sotto voce* Next time people will go around saying 'Irregardless you!']
- 111 = 15 x 7 + 6. You learn this in Primary 2. 111 / 15 = 7 + 6/7... I didn't go to Primary 2. I went straight to Primary 3. I forgot this.
- Some kind of science fiction movie. You make a machine that can make a true contradiction. Then everything would be true and false.
- Syllogisms are my least favourite topic. Sometimes I question why I teach them... If I threw everything out I wouldn't have a job.
- Do they have corn dogs in Singapore? You do? Where do you get corn dogs in Singapore?
- There's some more syllogisms in the tutorial, so you can go torture yourself at home.
- bell tar (beta)
- [On multiple equilibria] Going on a date, that kind of game.
- [On a picture of the world at night] Singapore is right here. Right now, it's a little red dot.
- [On Landes, 1998] It's a very good 10 pages. Among the things it tells you is that Harvard University doesn't have a Geography department.
- We are lucky enough to have air-conditioning... heat debilitates. Humidity adds to the heat. You know that if you sit outside this lecture theatre you don't really want to work.
- [On schistosomiasis] the larva of snails (larvae)
- [Demonstrating the wimpiness of Economics compared to the other Social Sciences] Of course I'm not gonna get you guys to read an entire book.
- [On explaining economic development] Jeff Sachs, whenever he gives talks - he just throws Singapore aside. Whatever graph he draws, Singapore is in some obscure corner.
- [On explaining economic development in SEA] The mosquitoes that inhabit this region are less commando than in Sub-Saharan Africa
- It might be the only part of David Romer's book where you don't find a model. Similarly, this might be the only part of the lecture where you don't find a model.
- Charles Jones. His friends call him 'Chad'.
- [On Freedom House's map of the world] I can't see what goes on in Singapore, but I believe we are partly free. [Student: Not free] Not free? Everything costs.
- In Singapore, if you vandalise you get caned. In Myanmar, if you don't vandalise you still get caned.
- Don't worry too much about the maths. Think of it as another language.
- You better know what Arsenal is. It's a way to earn cookie points.
- Are you an Arts Student? [Female student: Business] What is your weight? Not your mass. [Student: 50kg]
- Everyone talks about outdoor air quality. No one talks about indoor air quality... What about SR2? That place smells.
- Yesterday I had my teeth checked at NUH... 'There is a theory that dentists, before marriage, need to check the teeth of their partner.' He said: 'Yah, it's true. I would like to do that.' I meant it as a joke. He thought I was serious. The nurse was laughing.
- 8.0 rich t'er (richter)
- [On a programming test] It's open-book - you can bring anything, but not anyone.
- That's why in USP we look at other things beside your exam grades. But what you say in your interview and what you do later - 'I like the challenge'. So we give you the challenge.
- [On a post-mortem of SQ006] I'm not supposed to know this. 2 years ago I attended a conference in the UK. One of the guys was an investigator... I was the only one from Singapore. If he can show it to those guys I don't see why I can't show you. I don't think SIA will be very happy.
- Machines are not affected by machines of the other sex. They don't get angry at other machines.
- [On using notes from a Level 1 module as reference] Go back and look at those notes if you haven't already burnt, buried, destroyed them somewhere.
- [On Singapore] In the 90s there was a trade deficit for many years. Not often mentioned in the news.
- [On BOP balancing] Maybe, instead, Amazon decides to take the Singapore dollars and buy Singapore exports... 10 packets of chicken rice. Or maybe they decide they don't like chicken rice and just decide they want their goddamn US dollars... Damn Yankees.
- [On statistical discrepancies in the balance of payments] For many years, in Singapore, there were some things that were not published. Trade with Indonesia, for example.
- The textbook talks about real exchange rates. It doesn't say anything about fake exchange rates (...)
- We're talking about Big Macs here, so they're all the same. It doesn't mean the Big Mac in Japan has sushi inside.
- [On marking the growth of a variable] Gordon doesn't use the dot. He uses a triangle. I think he doesn't have the typeset for the dot.
- are tr'er lee generate these numbers (arbitrarily)
- [On generating simulated data and estimating a model] The true case happens in heaven... In this case we know, but we assume we don't know. When we wake up we don't know... Once you live in this world you are in the general estimation model world... We live as a god in this world, then we wake up and live as a normal person, as an Econometrician.
- The example is rather abject (abstract)
- If we reject the null hypothesis, we reject homoskedasticity. We hope that we reject [it] so we can learn something new.
- You cannot damage these PCs, because they have been tested thoroughly by previous students.
- [On whether water is permitted in a lab with a "no food & drinks allowed" sign] [Student: She told me to keep my food. She didn't say anything about my water. So I deduced water was allowed.] I wish you guys would use your deductionfor better purposes in life.
- It doesn't matter whether you write it in pen or pencil. It doesn't matter whether you write in pink, red, black... Please don't write the answers on stone tablets. Please don't tattoo the answers onto your buttocks.
- The problem is that those who are most likely to get extra credit are those who will least need it.
- Memorising the definition of a term given to you is neither necessary nor sufficient.
- [On green tea] You can send me an email about whether it's worth drinking, cos if I'm gonna switch from coffee it better be good. 'If I drink it every day for my entire life I will live 1 day longer' won't cut it.
- [On the sliminess and intellectual dishonesty of redefinining the English Language to suit your purposes] If I had $10 in my pocket, and someone asked me if I had a dollar, I would say no... It would depend on the context. Suppose you were in a court of law because a legal issue arose over the graduation tickets... 'Do you have 600 graduation tickets?' It would be misleading to say yes [if you had 750]
- [On not using the visualiser] I'm worried that it'll be too small. And also you'll see my messy handwriting.
- Dare'tch where the confusion comes from (There's)
- z'year'rho (zero)
- There're 2 cases of special validity. They're freaks of nature... Freaks of logic.
- [On a female student being unable to open the door] Did you get locked in?... That would be bad. Getting locked with me in this room.
- [On Financial Economics] If we don't have any maths, we can do everything in 5 minutes. It's so simple.
- [On an 'Investment Education Podcast'] I thought of sending you an email last night, but if I did that, you wouldn't come here, because you [would] already know everything.
- Another thing: Will I give these formulas in the exam? [Students: Yes!] No. *Laughs from the audience* Why should I?
- [On discounting a 30 year twice-yearly bond] If you have to add 60 terms manually, it might be difficult.
- Imperfect capital mobility is something you will do in part of your problem set. *thunder* Wow. Somebody up there doesn't like that idea. This is a strange September... It usually doesn't rain so much in September.
- Of course, we're not going to do the other 4 in class, because they will be in your problem set. *Consternation from audience* I do the easy part in class, you do the hard part in your problem set - that's the point.
- [On the Mundell-Fleming IS-LM-BP model] It's very nice to teach. You can play around with lots of funny things, and kill your students with it.
- One principle is the smarter you are, the more comfortable your body is (???)
- This is why I am against the attendance policy. I am 100% sure there is a positive correlation... between attendance and grades... you have to show me the causal estimator... People tend to be confused between correlation and causation.
- female niece (femaleness - femininity)
- [On a lame Arts girl & Engineering guy joke] This is another example of human behavior.
- [On an engineering guy using fake palmistry skill to woo a girl] I'm surprised that you all don't know how to read palms. We all knew how to read palms.
- Medical doctors are woefully inadequate in their mathematics. You can run circles around them.
- Would *** answer the question please?... [*** answers*] Yes, I suppose talking at the back does you good.
- And - ghosts... I have some experience, not personal. Thre was a Catholic priest... He was able to remove evil spirits from people by the power of the cross... My father-in-law who was a warden of the church, he wouldn't lie to me... One of these evil spirits which we got rid of, part of one infected him. He poisoned his wife over 5 years... Scotland Yard had to be called in... This guy was initially a mechanical engineer before becoming a priest... He used a tape recorder. When he played it back, all the dogs would start howling at certain times.
- Politicians contain a lot of hot air. But still, erm - I never said that.
- [On the midterm] You have too much time. Enough to fill in all your answers, freak out and change them.
- Risky premium (risk)
- [On a formula] Always use integral (integers)
- *Peers at answers from lecturer* This is a little bit different from the answers I am giving (given)
- Pl will go darb (up)
- once off (one)
- [On Unicorns and Existence] Try doing it. Not graded. Think of it as a way of distracting yourself form the meaningless of life. [Student: By doing something equally meaningless?]
- [On unsupported implicit premises] Because they gave us *** right. So it's good enough for them to be in power for their lifetime.
- Most arguments that you encounter in newspapers. The Straits Times. ***, ***, *** - the most messy arguments come from them.
- [On bad arguments and unsupported implicit premises] If you want to have more fun - I can't do it, it infuriates me - read ***'s speeches, even better.
- Noah told the animals: 'Go forth and multiply'... Noah saw that there were 2 adders left... 'We're adders, we can't multiply'. That's how Noah got these log tables from God, so the adders could multiply... These are not stories given in the Bible. You [have] got to interpret things indifferent ways. You [have] got to make ends meet (???)
- [On learning Latin] My teacher was a priest. He had a pencil. A very sharp pencil... Suddenly he will jab you. You're standing right beside him. You have no warning... [So] you remember your declensions... He'll smile at you and jab you... You go home, your father scolds you because your shirt is damaged.
- YC versa (vice)
- excel shett (sheet - written)
- [On settling down after the break] Have you seen this one? *brandishes cane*... Some people use this to silence the class.
- Now I'm going to show what you wanted to see. [Student, sotto voce: Porno] *Flashes more boring notes*

--- NUS Staff (first half of semester, before mid-semester break)

 

- [Starting the first lecture after the mid-semester break] So let's begin. I guess you guys are all happy to see me. [Audience: No] No?
- [Student: Sir, this week is week 7] I consider this week week 8... is this too difficult for you? [Student 2: Yes]
- [On how extreme 'rational expectations' is as an assumption] A lot of econs students don't have the right models, and even a lot of lecturers are not sure if the models they have are correct.
- [On William Phillips] I remember from Wikipedia he was also a crocodile hunter, so he was an early day Steve Irwin.
- That's the end of the history of Macroeconomic thought talk. We're not going to move into the SP-DG model yet. Instead we're gonna take a 10 minute break. *Cries of relief from audience*
- I see you guys have had a good break. 10 minutes. But we have work to do! Wait a minute, that's Saruman (???)
- The effect of attendence on score in the final exam. That is what I am very interested in finding. If I find out I will let you know... if you find a good IV [Instrumental Variable], please let me know.
- The difference between formal logic and informal logic. Informal logic you can do while you're in T-shirt and jeans.
- [On the argument from authority] According to John Lennon, lowering interest rates at this time will not affect economic growth.
- It's not surprising that the majority of Australian tourists on Bali are against the death penalty for drug trafficking... Most of the Australian tourists on Bali would probably get hanged... Who cares what those Australian tourists on Bali say? They're all high anyway. Most of what they say is false. *Student asks him to uncover notes on the visualiser* You can't see anything? Are you Australian?... It's okay, I don't have anything against Australian tourists. If I teach a class in Australia I'll make fun of you guys.
- [On what happens when 2 circular arguments collide] I can imagine 2 people arguing: is the Bible the word of God or the Quran? 'The Bible is the word of God' 'Prove it' 'It's in there: "The Bible is the word of God"' 'No, the Quran is the word of God' Tch tch tch...
- In order to solve for this optimal waste. (weight)
- By the way. How did you guys do on your test? [Student: Are we supposed to get it back?] You're supposed to lah, after I've marked them.
- This is just a discussion. It will not come out in the exam unless he teaches it in the lecture. But for the lack of anything better to do, unless you have any questions...
- [On Tag Hauer] Who cares right? It's Maria Sharapova. Whether it's false or true it's Maria Sharapova.
- God is omnipotent and omnibenevolent. So why is there evil in this world? An earthquake in Afghanistan is evil... George Bush is evil. *Whispers* *** *** *** is evil!
- [On the argument from ignorance] I don't know that X. Therefore X, or not X. I don't know... anything. I don't know anything. I can't think of any examples.
- You're arguing that God operates on a different logical plane. That is arguing ad hoc - why?!... [Student: The others argue that the god does not have a different logic from humans] If you say that you don't know that God uses a different form of logic, that's the argument from ignorance... There is no reason to think that God has different logic from humans. The burden of proof is on you... The common way of putting it is 'You don't understand God'
- Hume has a problem with induction. When you want to justify induction, you use induction.
- It's easy to draw in God in all these informal fallacies. People always use informal fallacies.
- Strange. I had the impression I had more students. What happened to everyone? All doing problem set? The haze? Gastric flu? (Is everyone doing the)
- [On handing up the problem set only in soft copy] NUS is not going to graduate students who are afraid of IT. So get used to it.
- [On the Lucas critique] Lucas says that is naive. That was not a nice thing to say to other macroeconomists and policy makers. (said that was)
- The Keynesian philosophy of childcare is that you should respond when the baby cries... New Classical philosophy is: do not respond. Wow, that's harsh... It [The Keynesian perspective] is naive because it takes the baby's propensity to cry as an exogenous parameter. Babies are smarter than we think... If you don't respond, the baby will adjust her propensity to cry and she will stop crying. That's the George Akerlof homely example. (George Akerlof's)
- [On time inconsistency] A third example is exams. I want you guys to study hard, so I announce that there will be an exam. Once you have studied hard, I am tempted to cancel the exam so you guys don't feel so stressed. I'm a caring person. Actually I don't wan tot mark exam scripts.
- [On underidentified model - 0 IVs, 1 endogenous variable] You are laughing at my idea. But a lot of people out there use an endogenous variable to find the causal estimator... Still people claim that attendence has [a] causal effect on grases... That is where Mark Twain accuse people of using statistics to lie (accuses)
- [On the Hausman test for endogeneity] It is very simple and straightforward and an example of how you can become a famous econometrician and have your name included in the your-name test in an Econometrics textbook... He replaced the plus with minus. Being famous is so simple, so if you want to try, try. Unfortunately I haven't been able to make a contribution yet.
- There was an introduction in garbage incinerator (of a)
- [On the difference-in-difference estimator] Clementi and Orchard. A garbage incinerator is built suddenly in NUS.
- 99% of the students and the staff I was teaching during my time in Engineering didn't know the difference between an introduction and a conclusion.
- Engineers have lots of workshops on public speaking skills.
- In the States they can do what they want. They haven't seen the sea. Some of them don't know who the President of the USA is... They still use pounds... I don't want to say anything bad about the US because the Minister Mentor is in the US. After he comes back I will tell you more.
- [On a joke] A vulgar and male Chauvinistic episode. My apologies to the girls, and empathy with the boys but I think they are mature man enough to take it (written)
- [On the test] 2 years ago I gave them a fork, a table fork, and asked them to estimate the volume and surface area of the fork. As a bonus they got to take the fork home.
- I have given you boxes. I am not going to read what is outside the boxes. If your handwriting is too large, too bad.
- [Student: Civil law is where there're no criminals. Criminal law is where there're criminals... Civil law is when there's a family dispute. And criminal law is when the husband kills the wife.] This is what will happen if you don't answer properly. *brandishes hair shaving tool* I took a course in hairdressing, so I know how to use it.
- [On patenting Singaporean inventions here] Actually it's a jailable offence to patent it elsewhere.
- If you pay a composition fine you're not a criminal, but if you pay a normal fine you're a criminal.
- [On a random name chooser MATLAB program] *** [Student: You've already called me.] They like to hear your voice. [Student 2: Even the computer knows]
- Sometimes we say one man's ponens is another man's tollens.
- 'State will play in a bowl game.' Who's State? What's a bowl game?
- [Student: Here *hands tutor tissue*] What is it? [Student: A tissue. Unused.] Thank you.
- Aviation fuel is very cheap. The fuel surcharge is nonsense... How does SIA make so much money? [Me: By cutting the pilots' pay.]
- [On bidding being silly] This is true. You spend more time learning bidding skills than anything [in class]
- [On an essay] 'Multi-sensual instructional process'. This I don't get. What is a multi-sensual instructional process?
- Last time - the chalkboard. It was very slow... while the students are copying they are thinking. What has happened now is that the syllabuses have increased by - 300%...teachers can give a lot of notes... your thinking time is compromised.
- [On possible accusations of nepotism] 'What happens if my daughter gets an A?' If she gets an A she gets an A. I can't help it.
- [On taking photos of public property] Newspapers, all the people... If you're in a public space, anyone can take a photo... If someone barges into my class and takes a photograph, I will take the camera and throw it away.
- [On publishing an article based on another's ideas] The law of confidence. 'It's not my fault. I gave him a beer and he blurted out to me. Even though I gabe him the beer so that he would blurt it out.'
- [At 10:48] Here's a good time to take a short break, so be back by noon. (11)
- [On rules vs discretion and crying babies] You need to have some mental fortitude and maybe a streak of cruelty to carry out this policy.
- If you work it out - actually I'm not sure if I want you guys to work it out. Maybe I should leave it for the problem set. *Audience groans*
- [On Central Bank independence] They're going to tell the government to go to hell.
- [On property prices] Clementi region has good schools, [a] good university.
- [On panel data] After 1 year, age is one year more, obviously. Sex is diff... the same. *Laughs from audience*
- Taking ***, they get a B from me. They are working in the same form. (got, firm)
- idiosyncrity error (idiosyncratic)
- [On the end of the exam] All good things must come to an end.
- [On late handing in of an assignment] I suppose that if I accept this joker's tutorial exercise, I will have to do the same thing to those [who are finishing them up now]... If you have the gall to do the same thing later, put yours on the small stack [and I will decide whether to accept them later]... [It's a form of] entertainment.
- I didn't name the arguments Modus Tollens and Modus Ponens. They were already named that way... All the good arguments are named after me.
- Interestingly enough, in the US every Chinese restaurant has a buffet. I used to think it was authentic. Now I don't think so anymore... Nice and greasy.
- Philosophy is an enterprise which has been going on for how long. Mill... Thousands of years.
- [Student: ***, can you go through questions 13, 14 and 15?] Sure, with pleasure. Not with pleasure, but I will.
- Actually options are very simple. It's more complicated if you want to make it more complicated. If you want to make it simple it's simple *cries from audience*
- You're not sure whether you'll be hell dee (healthy)
- I decided to push back the deadline by a couple of days... Just in case some people want to celebrate Halloween.
- Ben Ber'nang (Bernanke)
- [On Barro-Ricardian equivalence] That makes a lot of people mad.
- [On a perfect model of the economy] If anybody can come up with that, he will be a rich man, not an economist.
- Brad DeLong, who nowadays is pretty well known as a blogger. He's also an economist on the side.
- What about the whole economy as a whole? (economy)
- You can't use the term 'blacks' in the USA, you have to use the word 'African-American', but we're here, so it's okay. You have to take note of these things. You can't use the term 'J-A-P' in the US because it's considered derogatory, but here it's just short for 'Japanese'. (phrase 'African-Americans').
- Have a good holiday. Have a good Hari Raya Haji. (Puasa)
- [On telling a joke during his time in Engineering] More than half the students started copying, so I put this up to make fun of them. *flashes a OHT with "Ha ha, I'm making fun of you" in Chinese and presumably the same sentence in Malay and Tamil*... Lucky you all didn't copy. USP students [are more discerning]
- [On engineering design vs industrial design and subjectivity] In the case of the tissue paper, all of you got full marks. (toilet)
- He was thinking differently. I gave him half [a] mark. I think it was *** [Student: I didn't answer the question]
- [On morals and ethics] If you ask a philosopher he will tell you a lot of things and in the end you end up where you began.
- [To a knowledgeable student] Can you come here and I go sit there? I think you know more about the subject than I do.
- The pay'r'urnts (parents)
- [The] Indirect test for validity will come out in the exam. It's not like the other things I teach
- [On our not manually checking results a program outputed] NUS has absolutely failed,with your cooperation, to teach common sense. This was the state of the University 27 years ago, and it is the state of the University now, in my considered opinion... I don't know how it is in other universities. Cambridge, Oxford - maybe it's the same there.
- You look at the numbers and you straightaway jump in. You don't think. Maybe due to your primary school training.
- [Student: I don't swear... It's in the Bible. Book of James, Chapter 4 I think.] I can't say anything. My knowledge of the Bible is not as good as yours. I will, however, tell a vulgar joke about the Bible. Where in the Bible does it mention constipation? Moses took 2 tablets and went into the wilderness.
- When we set an exam paper we have to declare if there's a relation in our class. Then someone else will set the exam paper. Unfortunately that didn't happen to me. I could have saved setting an exam paper.
- [At 3] We'll break for lunch.
- [On faulty bridges etc killing hundreds at a time vs a surgeon killing one] Ethics are more important in Engineering than Medicine. A lot of people don't realise this.
- You give this to a person in the English department - they won't find the mistake... Unfortunately English is dynamic. What is wrong with eventually be right... 'Quite fun'?... [Student: It's quite fun to play soccer] No... The plural of sheep is sheep. The plural of goat is goats... [Student 2: *non-soto voce* Fucked up leh] I have learnt Latin. I know the rules.
- [On Barro-Ricardian equivalence] The evidence is quite mixed, but the debate is still going on. Perhaps because some people are quite stubborn.
- For some of us T-shirts may actually be consumer durables. You wear the same T-shirt year after year after year.
- Here is probably another instance where zee'lerhs economists may have pushed rational expectations just a little bit too far. (zealous)
- How to define lamb'da? If you're concerned I can give you a textbook but I guess most of you are not very concerned (lambda, interested)
- When I first proposed this module they asked me for examples [of the questions I'd set]. I used the names of all the people in the [approval] committee [in my examples]. After that they didn't ask me for any more examples.
- Is that book related to what I am teaching? [Student: No] What is so interesting about that book? [Student: Nothing] So you are interested in nothing? It takes all types to make up this world.
- [On ethical dilemmas] "There's nothing wrong with calling a woman engineer 'sweetie'." 2 of them [girls] said that. You can call them sweetie. [Female student: But there's nothing wrong] [Male student: Hi sweetie] [Female student: Hi]
- [On transitivity] If Siti is the mother of Liwen, and Liwen is the mother of Devi, then Siti cannot be the mother of Devi. Multi-cultural example.
- Logic if boring. I'm not sure that it should be in the Philosophy department... Someone asked me: 'I'm not a Philosophy major, why should I take this class?'... I didn't advise you to take this class. For the Philosophy majors, when you read 20th century philosophy. All these complicated arguments. [You can use Logic]
- I'll think about it but I think there is something twisted about that argument.
- [On a smart econometric trick] Unfortunately, this idea is not mine.
- [On econometrics] If you have a good suggestion, please tell me. Then I will write a paper.
- un're'q'why'turd love (unrequired)
- [On mobile phone radiation] For me, I don't care. My head was damaged a long time ago in 1973. *writes 'PhD'* Permanent Head Damage.
- [On a query about the cancelled lesson] You can come here. I can also come here and we can look at each other.
- I have yet to meet a student who doesn't say the workload is too heavy. The students complain the workload is too heavy. The staff complain the workload is too heavy. Everyone complains the workload is too heavy.
- [On NTU producing real engineers] When NTU first started, they had to get into the market. They said 'NUS is all the theory. We are the real engineers'... It backfired very badly. All the top students came to NUS... Now the situation has balanced out. They do a lot of research now... Everything has a theory [so theory is important].
- [On a 1983 poem about NUS FASS life] 'Lectures, lunch, library and the loo.' Where're you going [in life]? [Student: The loo]
- In the exam I'm going to give you an option... The option: 'State the Black-Scholes model.' 5 marks. *Laughs from audience*... Normally I give the formula, so you don't get the 5 points I said. (mentioned)
- [On the stats tables] I have seen some students. They open the book for the first time. They go this way *flips book in one direction* Then this way *flips book in other direction*, then they go this way *raises hand*. *Laughs from audience*
- If I give you the formula, can you copy it 100% [accurately]?... I find every semester at least 5 students... they drop the square, they drop the minus sign.
- The volatility is larger when the exchange is open than when it is closed.
- We all know that a lot of economists don't like adaptive expectations, because it's really backward-looking.
- Jaw Jansen (Jorgenson)
- Q Theory [of investment] requires a strong maths background... I don't think you guys have the stomach to do it, and frankly I don't have the stomach to do it either. If you're really interested, pick up Alpha Chiang's Dynamic Optimization. It will take you a few months to do. Good luck.
- The North Koreans are extremely good at generating fiat money of the United States.
- [On not interpreting the MLE model with its mean but rather median] The mean sex is 0.4, 0.5. Who is this person? A person who is 0.5 male, 0.5 female.
- The 5 conditions for a BLUE estimate, if I remember correctly: Conditional mean is 0, homoskedasticity, no multicolinearity - and the other 2.
- [On the visualiser projecting the wrong bit for 5 minutes and no one saying anything] You must be really bored. Usually someone says something... it's amazing. *Pushes visualiser so only the power plug can be seen* I was *mumbles and points randomly*. I must've looked like a fool.
- [On diagrams in a presentation] That's stolen from the lecture notes right
- [On relative happiness] I wonder if it's the same with grades. Will you be happy with a B if everyone else fails?... [Student: Just give everyone an A. We'll all be happy]
- 5000 bussels of corn (bushels)
- If F nought is 100 and S nought is 100. *Thunder* *Looks around* *Audience laughs* Don't worry, okay, The chance of having any terrorist activity outside is very low.
- [On the exam being on Thursday, 28th November] This is information you really should know, otherwise you won't do well for the exam... [Student: It's Tuesday] Oh, is it? Wait a minute. I'm not doing the exam.
- [On the cheat sheet] You write whatever crap you want, so you feel you don't need to remember all this crap.
- [On problem sets vs the exam] It may be a good idea to come with a calculator, in case there are some numbers. You will not need Microsoft Excel. *laughs from audience*
- Question 1 should be very easy for you guys. 20 marks - gone. *Laughs from audience* [Student: Gone.] Gone? Sorry, in the bag.
- [On the essays] Logical organisation in your writing so I know what you're talking about, so I won't have to scratch my head, until my scalp bleeds.
- [On writing legibly] Most of us have lost the ability to use handwriting. I certainly have lost it, because I type a lot nowadays... Cut me some slack here.
- Say you want to get A plus. Plus plus plus. For your essay, you might want to read the optional readings.
- You can draw Calvin and Hobbes on your cheat sheet, and that's fine by me.
- Mr ***, he has an exam... I don't have an exam, so I'll extend my consultation hours by a bit.
- [On spurious regression of random values] GDP of Singapore and GDP of Dominican Republic. If you do not like this example... This side is Singapore's GDP per capita and that side is, err. Err. Average goal score in [the] English Premier League. (The average)
- In the exam you may need [a] calculator. But you have the best calculator. In your body *Noise from audience*... You yourself are the best calculator. If you rely too much on the calculator you may get wrong values.
- W and X are correlated at the same time. W and X are not correlated across time. That is in the question. Do not take a look at me. Take a look at the question.
- [Student: Our bridge has caterpillar legs.] How many legs has a caterpillar?... How many legs has the caterpillar that you know?... Anyone from Life Science here? [Student 2: Me] How many legs has a caterpillar?... I don't know what they're teaching you in Life Science.
- After this I'll give you a short break. I'm losing braincells, so I need a break.
- Why do we have to assume something exists? Because if nothing exists there's no logic.
- You nice Chua (Eunice)
- Put'ter call par'rer'tee condition (Put-call parity)
- [On financial advice] Part e, all of you got it correct. All the strategies are correct, depending on your risk aversity... Some of you said: 'Since he is convinced the price will go up, buy unlimited call options. That is also correct'. (Part iii)
- [On the Black-Sholes model] This model, the formula will be given in your exam... Can any of you remember this formula for me?
- For the exams you have to remember... (exam)
- Don't you guys ever find it ridiculous that people have to write exams? Grown men and women have to sit in the exam hall. (sit for)
- There are some of these questions that even I find hard to do using predicate calculus. Not that I should find it any easier than you guys. That is to say nothing about my great genius.
- In Singapore we have bomb drills, even though we have not had a bomb in 500 years... They have artificial limbs, so the Civil Defence people will have something to carry.
- [During the last week of instruction] Unsure/sure?... If you're not sure then I'll say come next monday for tutorial.
- [On predicate logic] It'll get easier if you practice more. The reason it is so hard for me is that I haven't practised.
- Deliver the gold in 1 year time (year's)
- You want to see the final exam questions? [Audience: Yes] *Flashes covered exam paper* Those who can see will get 101 points... 10 points is just the true and false [questions]. See how easy [it is]?... You take a coin and toss it, and see how many trues come.
- In the exam, if you take the wrong one and the wrong answer, make yourself happy about what you have done.
- Some questions will use 2 or 3 sections [of the course]. [Me: Buy a straddle. Use it to construct a portfolio. Sell an option on it.] [Student: In a foreign market.]
- As you come in, remember not to look at the questions in your test book.
- [On exam administrative instructions] Pay attention while I read to you from a very large piece of paper.
- It is now 12:56. We have to wait for 4 more minutes. *laughs from audience* [Ed: The humour comes from the fact that they usually say 'you may start writing']

--- NUS Staff (second half of semester, after mid-semester break)

 

- [On the Sports and Social committee] Actually most of the time we eat. We seldom do other things than eat. (things other)
- [On the chalet] We also drink. Oh, we're not supposed to drink. No, we don't drink.
- The notes are getting more and more disgusting. [Me: I thought you said 'the girls are getting more and more disgusting'] I don't even need to say that. It's been like that from Day 1.
- [On 'CFM'] The original English term was 'come heater' (hither)
- Did your Dad use the cane on you? [Student: Definitely. Not. I will tell him to use it on my grandson] (his?)
- I wonder if I can still live my childhood dream - to have a number named myself. *** ratio or the *** number.
- [On the sham of finance] I wonder if Treynor, Jensen, Sharpe and Modigliani could make so much money, why did they do Econs? 'I didn't apply my own theory.'
- [Me: He looks very happy] He feeds on the expression on our faces. *mimes shocked look*
- [Me: She said "'something' from Science"] 'I ame from Science'. I didn't know such fine things came from science... *Later* remember i said, 'didn't know there were such fine things in science' turns out she's probably an econ maj, so there really isn't such fine things in science (aren't)
- [On investing in 4D] Buy 5 numbers. 'I have diversified my unsystematic risk. Therefore my portfolio is efficient.
- [Me: What did he say?] 'Where did I get the 8?' [Me: What's so funny about that?] Custom. When the lecturer makes an error you laugh. It's an NUS tradition.
- [Me: I wondered if the one coming in was from Science.] It's ok, you don't have a sciencedar. [Me: Sciencedar?] Gaydar, Sciencedar.
- [Lecturer: 2 more slides and I'll give you a break.] Aiyah. I thought '2 more slides and I'll let you all go.' ***
- [On why he's going to JB] I'm going there to buy underwears. (underwear)
- [On a problem set] Our presentation will be very short, chop chop finish - then we can ask all the Romer questions to *Tutor's name*. (ask *Tutor's name* about the Romer questions)
- [On corruption in Papua New Guinea] There's this Malaysian firm called 'Rimbunan Hijau'. Any Malaysians here? I'm Malaysian so I'm talking bad about my country (sliming)
- [On a sound clip screwing up a presentation] Because we imported this clip from PNG, so a bit of technical problems. (we have some)
- Mr Wool'foe'whytz said... aids to any country will be tied to corruption (Wolfowitz, aid)
- the informer sector in PNG (informal)
- enforce'sear'berl property rights (enforceable)
- the Wis'minister system (Westminster)
- core'lih'shern (coalition)
- im'plea'm'air'nt policies (implement)
- There's one instrence (instance)
- voice ring'ging [Ed: Pronounced with a hard g] (ringing)
- The scope of roe'ting in the highlands (rorting)
- [Student: China has a president?] ... China is ruled by a King. He lives in the Forbidden City. You know what? It's the Tang Dynasty now. [Me: The Tang Dynasty wasn't in Beijing.] Whatever. [Me: You see, {if} you want to suan people, you must get your facts right. Otherwise people will suan you back] I was being sar'car'stic. Sar'car'sm doesn't need to be true. (sarcastic, sarcasm)
- [Lecturer: Who invented the log tables?] Sir Logarithm.
- I have to do this. *Puts hairclip on her fringe* I have a hairclip too! [Me: Look, I'll use the pink furry scrunchie I picked up from the LT floor, then you can buy one too] [Student 2: Are you sure it's not Gerri's?]
- I lost my phone. Can I have your number?... Did I have your number in the first place? Nevermind, just give it to me.
- [On the project] Can we set up a mutual fund? Then we [will] get A+... Everyone in the class [will] subscribe to it. Then nobody knows what the fuck is going on. Call it the 'Gabriel and ***' mutual fund.
- You stick to the theory, you lose money. 'I hope you have learned that theory is useless. Reality is not confined to textbooks.'
- [Me on Science students taking Logic: I don't want to waste my UEs {doing something I already know}, I have some academic pride] Some? You're in the wrong school. [Me: Where should I go?] I don't know. Out of this country.
- What's the difference between Transport [Economics] 1 and 2? [Other student: Nothing]
- [On making snide remarks about 'Beautiful Voice'] After I went back I got 6 pimples. It's really karma... after bitching about him.
- Engin reminds me of NJ. Dark and gloomy. Hot and humid. [Me: Everything is gray]
- [Student: You look like you're going on Safari, game hunting]... [Me: Do I look like I'm going on safari?] You look like Steve Irwin. You need a baby.
- And zen I do the F-test (then)
- dependable variable (dependent)
- the Ward test (Wald)
- [On girls singing in Chatterbox] Really, USP has all the [Me: Weirdos] No, bourgeoisie... Where do you find people who do opera?
- Just now we did the design thing and then we realised that the iPod has the worst design. [Me: So why is it so popular?] We have no idea... It's confusing. It's not user friendly lah. I didn't even know how to turn it off. [Me: I thought Macs are supposed to be good for idiots.] Only the computer lah. The iPod is horrible.
- It doesn't matter what I say about you, because some day you will be getting a lot of chicks... girls like financial analysts (!@#$)
- [Me: Intelligence doesn't matter. You also won't be happy] Check out IMH [Me: They're very intelligent meh?] No, they're very happy. [Student 2: All the crazy people I know are unhappy. They're lucid enough to know... They're all intelligent]
- Are you going to quote me? [Me: Is there something to quote?] Everytime you whip out that piece of paper I freak out.
- Did you say 'Screwed Up Girl'?... I completely agree with that... She thinks she is a cupcake... Before you talk about pure love I want to talk about screwed up stuff first.
- Didn't you use to date her too?... What's her appeal to guys? [Student: It's not her appeal I'm questioning. It's her taste in guys] *everyone laughs*
- Why didn't you tell me? [Student: I don't want to bother people.] I need these issues to channel into my work! [Me: I love these inter-female dynamics.]
- [On How Girls Waste Time] Is that how guys waste time? [Me: Not all guys do that] Only screwed up guys.
- [Student to someone else on my interview: Are you actually doing any reading?] No. I've been reading the same sentence for 5 minutes.
- [On someone] I think every arts student who has taken a class with him before is scared of him. [Me: I've taken a class with him before.] I think every arts girl who has taken a class with him before is scared of him.
- [Instructor: These are the elements of an academic essay...] *Sotto voce* Isn't it interesting he only teaches it after it's [the essay's] due?
- [Instructor on student going to the toilet: You're going at the wrong time because I am going to talk about the exam paper.] It's ok. It's quite urgent.
- [Instructor: What does a patent achieve?] Wait ah. *flips notes*
- Sino-US trend deficit (trade)
- [On a presentation] To synchronise ourselves, we are all in black tops and sandals (our dressing)
- High rates of grorth (growth)
- US blair'ms China for its tread deficit (blames, trade)
- The younger generation has only seen the US economy doing well. Therefore they don't know the importance of farming (saving)
- [On a presentation] I hope you all understood most of that, but if you didn't, that's okay.
- Em'pie'rer'curl estimates (empirical)
- Desperate times calls for desperate measures (call)
- [On what honesty in doing problem sets gets you] I did it myself. That's how I know I got it all wrong.
- [On EN2101E] All 4 of my literature books are about sex.
- [On engineering diagrams] [Instructor: Don't you all, the Engineering guys, learn this in school?] You mean Art and Craft?
- [Instructor: 15 years ago there was this stall at the Arts canteen selling kway teow... They used to have very long queues. They guy had a secret formula.] *Sotto voce* Marijuana. After a while you need 2 plates to get the same kick]
- [On copyright] Multiple copies - meaning copy 1: pages 1-5, copy 2: pages 6-10? [Instructor: That's an interesting interpretation of 'multiple copies']
- [On my Asian Prince card] He looks very wealthy. [Me: He is]
- I like your shirt. [Me: It's doubly haram] It's triply haram, cause you're in it. [Me: Thanks]
- I used to go to Church when I was young. My whole extended family is Christian. [Me: Then what happened?] I read the Bible.
- [On his homework partner filing for graduation in the middle of the term without telling him] It was so sudden. No warning at all. Like the Thailand coup.
- [Me: are you motivated by his 'motivating example'?] No, it's discouraging.
- [On a row of waterbottles at the back of the LT] What is this, water parade?
- high'poh'tee'nurse (hypotenuse)
- [On Wo-Hen] It's good to have this kind of people around. I don't know about you - he makes me feel good to be normal.
- [Me: Why is there a key around your neck?]... Someone said: "Key to a 'lose your chastity' belt"... [Me: Does that key fit a lock?] Can you find me a lock that this fits? [Me: I saw these earrings. One key and one lock] Did the key fit the lock? [Me: I don't know] Why're you so concerned? [Student 2: He needs closure]
- [On carbonara] I asked him for lettuce. He was totally nonplussed... I didn't expect him to put it in. [Me: Why did you ask for lettuce with your carbonara?] I want vegetables.
- [Me on a sparkly white crocodile hair clip: Do you know what this is? It's been here for a while.] I thought it was yours. [Me: What the hell?] It goes with the whole rebonding thing. [Me: Right.]
- [Me: I haven't seen taupok in NUS before. Have you?] I stay in hall. Of course got.
- [On Asian Prince] I would say that your inclusive fitness is fucked... It's a good waste of sperm propagating you... This kind of diversity in the gene pool is not good... ** - this sort of people is not good for the gene pool. Wo-hen fans, fly shaggers
- [On my Asian Prince sighting wallpaper] Don't look! Don't look! It fucks with the mind!
- [On a horizontal railing the shape of a MRT track] After playing tomb raider for one month, everytime you see something like this you feel like climbing it.
- He says things like 'I have no problem getting girls to give me blowjobs'. [Student 2: Of course lah! He borrows all the money from people to get blowjobs.]
- [On herpes] Why is it called the clap? Woo hoo! Gonorrhea! *claps* (???)
- If I come up with a burger I shall call it 'Sweet Bovine Death'.
- Who's that guy? Where does he come from? How come he's on exchange but knows more than half the lecture hall? [Me: When I was on exchange I also knew more than half the lecture hall] That's different. You're Singapore-trained.
- [Me: My friend said there're always been Christian moving companies.] That's true. Every since Moses Christians have been moving here and there.
- [On Aluba] That's why you should only celebrate your birthday with female friends.
- There're too many black people there. [Student 2: Racist!] I'm not racist... There's nothing wrong with blacks. But all they do is lie on the streets and rot and harass asian girls.
- [Me: All these poets are gay lah] Yah, because how can a straight guy be so brilliant?!
- Do they only catch you for downloading music?... Don't download movies from Universal studios... [Student 2: I'm an expert on this. Don't use ***. Use ***. They don't catch people.] Don't download Universal Studios [movies] in NUS. [Tutor: I didn't hear anything]
- I like bras. I like to see bra straps. [Me: Is there a punchline?] There's no punchline. it's just something nice to see.
- the leed content (lead)
- You can kill the kidnapper but you cannot lie to him. Lying to him has moral implications... 'We're going to let you go'. Then he lets go of the hostage... Either you shoot him and kill him, or you lie to him.
- [On someone having a heart-shaped pattern made of white stones sewn over her butt] USP girls are very perverted... USP guys are even more perverted, but USP girls are more perverted than normal girls.
- [On 'straddles', 'strangles', 'strips' and 'straps'] Sounds like names of sex positions.
- I was reading your [IVLE] forum posts. You're super well-read huh. [Me: Err. Ok lah. It's what I do instead of doing problem sets.]
- [On karma] I'm tempted to make remarks about something in front, but the last time I did that I got an ulcer. (someone)
- [On Mac users naming their laptops] What's wrong with Mac laptops? Why do they name them? [Me: It's not what's wrong with Mac laptops. It's what's wrong with Mac users.]
- [On an exchange student] All you need to do is breed him with a PRC and then you have a perfect economics machine.
- [Me on the worst cheese fries in the world - some fries were undercooked, the rest were not crispy and the sauce was thin and flavourless: Once again, the Gross Gecko disappoints me.] That's why it's grinning. They just cheated your money.
- Esprit de l'escalier... Wit of the staircase... [Me: I thought you just upskirted someone]
- Everyone hits on you. [Me: Nobody hits on me. Everyone hits {figuratively} me.]
- [On Screwed Up Girl and Screwed Up Guy] If anything goes wrong, I'll be one of the most upset people. [Me: Why?] Because it'll start happening again... I'm very stressed.
- [Me: What was your Vital Statistic?] 3.6 in Sem 1, 4.2 in Sem 2... [Me: Why?] Because in the first sem I had no idea what I was doing and in the second sem I had no idea what I was doing but I knew how to do it.
- Gabriel, did you lose weight again?... [Me: Looks are deceptive.] But it's the looks that count what. [Me: Good point, good point.]
- Girls cry after Econometrics I. [Student 2: Girls cry? Not our batch right.] [Student 3: *** said - Tsunami after Econometrics I]
- [On stochastic voariance] Wah cheem, man. This is like philosophical.
- I'm gonna implement a friendszone soon. Fuck, do back to the girls what they did to me.
- [On SMU] Their International [Economics] A/B is our International [Economics] I.
- [On why we should do Masters modules] Masters students - they don't study.
- [On the tutor's dressing] He's damn cool. He's like some construction worker.
- [On technical problems for the presentation] Don't buy Fujitsu, people. For consumption, people, don't buy Fujitsu computers.
- Don't waste time. We're all young people. We all have very good eyesight. You can squint your eyes... Anyway no one looks at Powerpoint slides... Just pretend you all can see. Okay cool?
- Milton Fred Men (Friedman)
- [Video subtitle] sercurity (security)
- First answer gets a prize. [Student 2: Does it have to be the right answer?]
- Cool! Everyone gets a chocolate because everyone shouted 'permanent'!
- paw s'hay (Porsche)
- What is habit formation? Habit formation is in essence blah blah blah *gestures at projected slide*
- [Tutor on filming a video for a presentation on Consumption: It seems like you guys had a lot of fun.] Especially the girls. We got to dress up.
- [On someone giving out biscuits] You're like the Welfare person here. [Me: She's the Head of Welfare] I see. No wonder [she's] so friendly.
- [On a huge bridge] If this bridge were meant for an airport, this would definitely not be my design. But this bridge was made for *marbles*
- [Me on a skirt with many buttons: Are these buttons functional?] Fashion. [Me: That's not a function] [Student 2: Fashion is a function] [Me: Go and die]
- Engineering she3 me4 dou1 nan2 (Translation: Everything in Engineering is hard]
- [Me: Where's the key?] You'll take care of it right... [Student 2: He just wants to attract attention] [Me: How about you?] I'm a girl. It's logical for me to attract attention.
- [On my extra bones] Freak. You're like an X-man, except you've some useless ability.
- [Me: What does chocolate do to feminine physiology?] It makes us fat... It has [Me: Endorphins] Women are like permanently depressed.
- I feel cold. [Student 2: You need a man]
- Open book [exams] is just a scam to make you waste time flipping.
- [On my wearing of bunny girl's key] I love that key. What is it the key to? Is it the key to your heart? Is it the key to someone else's heart? [SUG: It's the key to his virginity]
- There's something fundamentally wrong with Singaporean society. Of all the people I've met, Singaporeans are the unhappiest in the region... It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor. You sit in the coffeeshop... The Filipinos in my church are very happy. I don't know if the Philippines is happy.
- [Student on spontaneous human combustion: We wanted to test it on someone.] Find a Year 1. They're noisy, they're everywhere and they're fugly.
- [On Starburst fruit chews] It's an ang moh brand, it's gotta be good... [Me: 'Hydrogenated palm oil'. That means it has both saturated fat *and* trans fat.] Did you have to tell me that?
- I was a waitress and SDU booked the restaurant. The girls were ok. The guys were... yucks.
- Everytime you sit down, my laptop- [Me: Jerks?] Yah. You know it goes into hibernation and then it turns back on again.
- [On the Madonna Code] Oh, it's quite nice. [Student: What, like yours?] *sticks finger in air* [Student: You like that? *touches finger*]
- I looked at it. It's damn gross... [Me: Did you see Meatspin?]... *points to aborted baby on cigarette pack* I look at this almost every day lor.

--- NUS Students