- If you don't like evolution, too bad. I don't like Freud, I think he was wrong, but I've to admit he had a big influence on psychology.
- [On acquired characteristics] The colour of my hair is partially inherited, but it has been bleached by many decades spent in the tropics.
- [On mate attractiveness] You have to be really outstanding to be a complete no-no - a really comforting thought for all of you.
- When you pick up a baby and you go beela beela blah... Your mother didn't sit there with a cane and said: 'You must be nice to children'.
- I grow orchids, occasionally. If I breed a pink, fragrant orchid... and call it ***'s Glory, or some other stupid name.
- Discussions start now. Not in 2 weeks' time. You look absolutely appalled.
- [To a student with her back to the screen] Presumably, it would be good - right, it would be good if you could face the screen.
- You guys should be reading! Reading reading reading. Believe me. You'll never get another chance like this. I've been teaching in NUS for 19 years.
- You're not going to be late next time, are you? The taxi didn't drive into the swimming pool.
- [On the wide variation in human mental capability] Why are we so variable? [Student: Environmental factors. You might be hit by a car and become retarded.] I'm excluding all those... and mad brain surgeons.
- [On Evolutionary Psychology] If there are any creationists here, it's alright, I understand, never mind.
- Some governments to this day believe that selective breeding is good. The phrase 'graduate mothers' is running through my mind.
- It's available in the Forum bookshop. It's 30 dollars. Is that a lot? It's a big discount. It's 80 dollars outside.
- Suppose you've a friend who's reluctant to contribute during tutorial. Encouraging her will increase your participation mark.
- We had a very nice discussion. 7 hour flight. We didn't talk for 7 hours. We fell asleep. He fell asleep on me, but that's another story.
- I asked him: What are Singaporean students interested in? He told me... Blogging. Singaporean students are very interested in expressing their opinions electronically online. I landed, I read the Straits Times. There was some blogging convention and everyone was very excited about it. Do any of you know about this? *silence from audience*
- At the end of the day... *Calls up IVLE forum statistics screen with people's faces* Sorry. Would that person come down please? No, no.
- As about most things in life, quality is important. Don't post idle responses like: 'No.', 'I don't think so.' It's good for you to express an opinion... 'I don't think so' won't earn you many marks.
- [On IVLE forum posting] I hope you'll get the comments thing going, just like in your blog. Is that an embarrassing thing? 'I have a blog'. Eventually you may tell me.
- [On the term paper] The length I'm expecting is between 2000 and 2500 words. Too short, I know, I know.
- It's TBA here. Who here knows what TBA is?... Good. You know what TBA is. A lot of people ask me: 'What is TBA?'
- It's very difficult to fail this course.
- Originally I decided to have you submit the term paper after the mid-semester break. I must have been feeling really good that day. I decided to give you a few extra weeks.
- Are there any questions? *There is no response from the audience* Just as I thought. I'm sure I'll get a bunch of emails.
- [On a Powerpoint slide with Fireworks in the background and titled 'To the youth of Singapore'] You might be wondering what this means. I missed the National Day Parade last night. I was sick. In bed all night. This is my way of celebrating. Fireworks.
- [On the anaemic response from youth about suggestions on what to do about the Youth Park in Singapore] Out of the several thousand youth, only several hundred responded... They were probably forced.
- I have some questions you might want to ask yourself. Question number one. [Powerpoint flashes: 'Are you going to read the texts before the tutorial?']
- [On essay mills] I brought this up to show that it's not for you. First of all, it's expensive. Forty dollars.
- I was reading the Straits Times. There was an article by a Singaporean woman. It was about Singaporean men. [Student: Sumiko Tan]
- I found out some students forgot what they learnt in state'tistics (statistics)
- You will be dree'vern to do those questions. (driven)
- Your matric number, your nair'm (name)
- I learned how to con'few expect, expectations (compute)
- [On group homework] If you find one student does not participate, or you really hate that member, you can not write their name down. (choose not to)
- All these term and conditions I should put in small font, just like credit cards (I should put all of these terms and conditions in a small font, just like on credit cards)
- That is why it is fun to learn Econometrics. Actually it's quite fun to do this module. Most of the models you'll learn [in other modules]... are quite trivial.
- Tomorrow's weather to be rare'ning (rainy - but he means 'raining')
- A lone commute (long)
- If you go to probability courses you will go crazy because it is very abstract.
- We have assigned 1 random variable to diss'cries (describe)
- I have 5 copies of the textbook here for students who cannot comfortably afford it. You can come and get it after class or later.
- [On sending out handouts before the class] For handouts, I can teach faster, so you can learn more. That's a good thing.
- Different schools tend not to talk to each other. Berkely is very Neo-Classical. I'm from Penn, we're New Keynesian.
- [On Economics] Why do we need math? How many of you like math?
- [On savings in the inter-temporal consumption decision] You die at the end of the second period, so if you have no children, and you assume you have no friends, it's gonna be zero.
- This stick our first class (is)
- sith topics (six)
- the a'sand'ments (assignments)
- I will post ze assignments (the)
- I'm forced to ferry in (carry)
- We recommended five textbooks [for this module] (recommend)
- My a'standing (understanding)
- the lust year (last)
- two bandouts (bundles)
- bar'geet constraint (budget)
- ack 2 (x)
- What happens if the price is change? (changed)
- then what happen? (happens)
- bandles (bundles)
- sar'posse (suppose)
- right and god (angled)
- nominer function (non-linear)
- act one (x)
- core doh'n laugh utility function (Cobb-Douglas)
- laugh at the hypocrite (partial derivative)
- co-doh'glar (Cobb-Douglas)
- We have no chains (change)
- menace (minus)
- plays a very important rule (role)
- bar'teet (budget - pronounced with a muted t at the end)
- [On Monday morning] Poor thing. You look absolutely exhuasted. It must've been a terrible weekend. You stagger into class. The first week is over, Orientation week is over... Wake up, wake up.
- [On WD Hamilton] He was very mathematical... His supervisor didn't understand what the hell he was doing, so he very nearly didn't get his PhD.
- [On how some explain why aunts invest more in their nieces and nephews than uncles] Aunts are women. And women have more oooh-ah factor.
- [On a diagram in the notes] Did I actually include this in your handout? I didn't? Oh my. It must have been because that would make it too easy.
- One of the things that is particularly irritating to psychologists doing research is people's reliance on anecdotal evidence to explain psychological phenomena... This is particularly prevalent in the snake oil industry.
- For example, did you know - I'm digressing like crazy now, but nevermind - it's very difficult to tell what flavour yoghurt is supposed to be if you don't know what it is?
- I was appalled to discover in the previous tutorial that when I asked: 'How many of you have had an iceball?', nobody put up their hands.
- [On 'Facing the Void', about mountain-climbing] The film is well worth watching. It's really really gripping. Even though you now know the ending.
- [On alarm calls in Belding's ground squirrels] It might confuse the predator. I walk into a room and suddenly all the students scream and run around. I don't know which one to grab
- [On repartees to derision at being adopted] 'Mary's mother had to have her. Our mother chose us'... It's the best reply I've heard so far.
- Lectures are compulsory. And as I say that, somebody has left. Wonderful.
- [On 'zeal'] To me it means pursuing something with enthusiasm. With passion. Kind of like how your pursue this course, for example.
- 'Religion is like a drug.' I'm sure none of you have been very drunk in this class.
- The sam unknown distribution (same)
- I can put in one more error (arrow)
- the serious data (series)
- We can be even more happier (happier)
- I make that clam (claim)
- Is tis w'year estimate unbiased? (weird)
- [On consistency] My definition is very abstract. The true definition is even more abstract, so this is the best I can give you.
- 'An estimator is consistent if its sample distribution is getting denser towards the true population parameter value that it tries to estimate when the sample size is getting larger.' We still have no idea what that means. [Student: Good self-awareness]
- right hand sai (side)
- the graphite draw here (graph I)
- according to the grab (graph)
- the grub (graph)
- Keynes never had a single equation in his book in the 1930s. The Theory of appointment, something and something.
- mediocricy (mediocrity)
- Williamson doesn't have the wealth effect in this book. I'm adding it [to the lecture] because he should have added it.
- The effect on S1 is ambiguous... So everything is ambiguous. So what can you say? Nothing.
- I didn't have time to do them. Go back and try it for yourself. It's quite fun.
- [On the end of lecture buzzer] What's that... So it means I must shut up?
- The slope... has to be exactly the same with the slope of the budget constraint. (as)
- s one star (x)
- mud'nerl utility (marginal)
- piston (question? preference?)
- d f l (dx)
- get flis (this)
- put this term about (alone)
- Cobber Doorglass (Cobb-Douglas)
- the lah'ga'ran'gin method (Lagrangian)
- wes star (x)
- It's the partly rah'tyoush of y (partial derivative)
- eh equals to m (i)
- Cob Dogger'lah (Cobb-Douglas)
- This is not in your handout. You should all be suddenly stunned.
- I don't want kneeling students clutching my trousers begging to be allowed in the discussion group they didn't sign up for.
- Some people used to think there was a cheater face. Low brows and thick lips... striped shirts.
- [On the Nicoll highway foreman] Remember his name? Remember his name? Mr Ho. I can't remember the rest of his name.
- [On not catching what a student was saying] If you exhale and do not inhale, you can prevent a sneeze. This will be very useful if you are in ambush, enemy soldiers... I'm sorry. I had to distract myself while trying not to sneeze.
- [On someone volunteering to do 5-6 people's laundry and ironing daily] I can think of only 2 explanations. The first is that he has some sort of eccentric fetish for ladies' underwear, and the only way he can conceal it is to wash everyone's clothes.
- [On a documentary about elephants digging graves for old females and standing around while the old female stands in it, then covering the grave with leaves and bamboo] The biologist in me is screaming and shouting and crying out... This is Nobel Prize Zoology... Which channel did you see this on? There's lots of stuff on the Discovery Channel about the supernatural. I don't believe any of it.
- This is our first tutorial, and our objective for today is to get to know each other. That's the most important thing. if we have time, maybe - just maybe, we'll talk about Muller.
- Tell me what you want to be called. If your boyfriend calls you 'Pookie', and you want to be called 'Pookie', that's okay.
- [On icebreakers] Then you come up with a stupid question for the next person. If you give a stupid answer, it's ok because it's a stupid question.
- Psychoanalysis... You can make stupid claims. Penis envy... When you read about it, it sounds sort of true, sort of not true.
- [Student to a guy: If you were shipwrecked on a desert island with another female with another female, what would you do?] Come on, we know what he'd be doing... Play chess maybe.
- Suppose your parents couldn't swim. Both of them fell into the water, and you could only save one. Which would you save? [Student: I wouldn't save either... I'm in this phase - hating my parents]
- What you learn in University: never believe course descriptions.
- [Student on someone else having no one to ask a stupid question: Why don't you ask him?] I'm the tutor. I'm exempted!... It's okay, it's okay [I'll answer].
- As far as possible, I won't try to burden you. I won't make you write a lot of things, do little projects. If you want to we can do that! [Students: Noo...] ***, give me more work!
- [On Taylor's 'Primitive Culture'] It's quite fat. It's big. Very concise.
- [On a picture of a caveman and Dubya side by side] I don't want people to think that I'm comparing the mental capacity of the leader of the United States and that of our friend Fred.
- [On 'Intelligent' Design] We can propose 'intelligent attraction'. Why do things fall from a height? Gravity is just a theory.
- The question I want to ask is that who was on top? Not in that way [presumably sexually] but evolutionarily.
- central limit theory (theorem)
- We have to tran'fer a little bit. (transfer)
- [On p-values] If you really don't understand what I say, you can just memorise this... It still work. (works)
- As a statistician or an economist you are just a consultant. You do not make the decisions.
- [On choosing the null hypothesis] Just like OJ Simpson case right. We believe he is innocent, then gather evidence to show he is guilty. (Simpson's)
- [On the t-statistic] You tell your boss: Sample average must be greater than C. He won't be happy. What is C? You will get fired.
- [On student unhappiness and apathy] If students are unhappy, the reputation of NUS goes down. If the reputation of NUS goes down, the value of your degree goes down the drain.
- [On NUSSU positions] I'm so tired of hearing Engineers. I believe Arts students are superior, because of the modules you take.
- [On a pay as you go pensions system] A lot of European countries have something similar to this, which is why they are all going bankrupt.
- At the same tair'm (time)
- Both kin be better off (can)
- this cree'tea'ria (criteria)
- I think we are agreed (we'll have a break)
- compee'tive market (competitive)
- the grim lance (green lines)
- We reach a general equi'br'erm (equilibrium)
- pass through the original de'mer'n (endowment)
- parting through this black point (passing, blue)
- p'rare'der'tore optimal (pareto)
- total enrolment (endowment)
- the re'sh'you of the prices (issue)
- Well russ law (Walras')
- [On uncertainty about paternity] Do any of you know Dave Allen? He had a joke about this which I will tell you to lighten the atmosphere here.
- [On a parallel between our evolutionary proclivity for sweet things and long and short term mating strategies] Vultures find carrion delicious. I'm confident that they aren't gagging... It's pungent and it tastes great.
- [On unconscious mating strategies] Men don't sit there thinking: "She's got many years of reproductive potential... those who got really turned on - jelly at the knees - by post-menopausal women have left no descendents."
- [On finding males who are good parents and interested in babies] There's no point finding a man who is incredibly powerful if he drops the baby on its head.
- My father used to say that babies were systems of uncontrollable orifices... luckily my father didn't reveal this aspect of his character until he got married.
- You don't want a man who will beat you up every Friday night... It's Friday... Bang bang.
- [On men finding loose women for short term mating] Where are the women? They don't go around with signs. Some of them do nowadays. never believe what you read on T-shirts... Someone who is wearing a Madagascar T-shirt might never have been to Madagascar. He might've seen the film. You can't be sure.
- [On short term mating strategies - infidelity - in women] Various people have proposed other reasons. Finding out more about life.
- [On some off-topic thing] I differ, I beg to differ. This is much more interesting than Evolutionary Psychology.
- I will not ask the ladies present whether they are ovulating or not, but you may make informal inquiries among your friends... [see] whether you can reall tell or not.
- [Student on a religious argument against cloning - that you need struggle to shape human nature: They say that struggle is what gives humans their nature... like for you the struggle is in your genes.] By that argument, we should not be sitting in an air-conditioned room. Most of civilization would be attacked... That's not a very good argument.
- [On the insidiousness and fallaciousness of the slippery slope argument] The first person who liberated slaves: [the] slippery slope [argument was invoked]. The first person to give women the vote: slippery slope. A hundred years ago, you couldn't wear a bikini in public. You would be stoned. So, yes, the slippery slope is a bad thing.
- Think of the girl of your dreams, or the guy of your dreams, if you're in the 5% [who are so inclined]... Think of how it would be different if the girl of your dreams was a female orang-utan. Unless you're in the 0.001% who thinks that'd be an improvement.
- Bald ladies are not, like, somehow, very attractive. [Student: Personal preference.] No, human nature.
- [On clothing] Have you ever seen a Papua New Guinea warrior wearing a penis sheath?
- Breasts get in the way. You can't run as well... They get in the way when you play snooker.
- [On unconscious mating strategies in men] He does not write to her: 'You have fantastic child-bearing hips' or 'Your fertility is so...'
- [On data on age differentials in Seattle marriages in 1986] It seems analogous here. It seems there was a 10 year old husband with an 11 year old wife.
- [On a story on bartop dancing and jealousy] 'Mr Fabian Chiu'. The Straits Times makes up names, but I'm not sure if they can invent a name like 'Fabian Chiu'.
- That's what you realise when you go to University. They don't give you the answers. They only give you more questions, make life more confusing. They seem to think that's the point.
- If we have one person in this class who believes in magic, voodoo, we wouldn't want to offend him. Especially if he has dolls. (had)
- [Student on a Powerpoint slide about Freud: He died before he was born.] Goodness... I was just checking if you were awake. [Audience: Riiiiight...]
- Professor *** was very kind to Freud. He spoke for 4 minutes without making a single sexual remark.
- A friend of mine was saying... that Freud was just a sex-obsessed maniac. I said, funny thing: he said the same thing about you.
- [On toys with no sexual content] Look at Barbie, for example, who has no nipples. Or at GI Joe, who has no Joe.
- [On the breast's lack of aesthetic appeal] The nose might even be more aesthetic, because of the curvature.
- [On Oedipus and Tiresias] There was no need for forensic pathology or CSI. If you want to know who the murderer is, you just ask your friendly neighbourhood prophet.
- If in a sexual encounter, the girl points at the guy and starts laughing, he will lose his erection. (is going to)
- uneluctable force (ineluctable)
- [On the superego] If a person had sexual desire and wished to go out and have intercourse with another person, he wouldn't be able to do it. Depends on which country you're in, I suppose.
- sample evident (evidence)
- Bay sing school (Bayesian)
- Y bar dah'byou (w)
- I haven't tell you how to compute the Standard Error (told)
- [On an erroneous formula] I still see some people using this formula, which I didn't teach. That's not good.
- the task score (test)
- [On asking questions in lecture] If you shake your head, I won't recognise you outside class, so it's okay.
- It is a very standard assumption in macro[economics] to have a representative consumer. If you don't like it, just look at it a bit longer and you will like it.
- So now we are going to go to the funky part of our model.
- I have office hours from 10-12. I'm normally very bored, because students don't come. Or students come for only 10 minutes. And then I'm bored for 1 hour and 50 minutes.
- If the garment has this ability to redistribute the endo'ment (government, endowment)
- It seems very powerful but it is actually very simple (the two are not mutually exclusive)
- leader time (leisure)
- If you have a lot of engines / asians (agents)
- We'll have a breek here (break)
- 2 indians. Robinson and [Man] Friday. (agents)
- their utility is dependang (dependent)
- giving up the seem amount of coconuts (same)
- in ardour to increase (order)
- no one bet off (is better)
- increase in the input of one goose (good)
- two diminishal graph (dimensional)
- [Said during week 4] See you next sem (time)
- We have 2 Sharons... I [will] call you Sharon 1. Is it okay?
- Consumption cannot be 0 because if consumption is 0 then you will die.
- Consumption is, in this case, indo'jair'ners (endogenous)
- [On tutorial answers] If you want me to write it - you are giving me a blank look, so I will have to write it.
- It's very easy to slip into the stereotype that women only want long term relationships and men only want sex.
- [On the inherited proclivity for men to seek a variety of sexual partners] I don't think anybody seriously argues that you learn at your mother's knee, if you are a boy, that it is desirable to have a variety of sex partners.
- People have conducted research, not in Singapore, sending attractive research assistants around campus asking members of the opposite sex if they'd like to have sex with them... 75% of men said yes. The rest were apologetic about it [their declining].
- To explain is not to justify... Next week I'm going to be talking about the biological reasons for child abuse. Anybody who thinks I'm advocating child abuse...
- [On women not being turned on visually] There were attempts in more enlightened economies than this one to push out a magazine. Pin-ups for women... I can't remmeber its name, since I wasn't interested in it.
- [On romance novels vs pornography] Go away and read some of this stuff. it is very, very different.
- Women tend to orgasm more and retain more sperm with short term partners... Biologically, the female orgasm is unnecessary.
- It's bay'ter (better)
- How to tasle the unbiased (tell the unbiasedness)
- That is the po view we are going to use (program)
- [On people asked how important intelligence was for various types of relationships] The male graduates, who seemed particularly unconcerned about the intelligence of hypothetical casual sex partners.
- [On monkeys with brightly coloured external testicles] There were some species of monkeys which really really embarrassed my aunt, because she was a prim and proper lady... These were the early days of colour television.
- Men tend to be very hung up about the size of their organs... Few people have showed it is really important. People leaving their lover because of their organs.
- What does Freud say about religion? He says: Religion is...? [Me: Religion is the universal neurosis.] Where is it? Did you bring your text? [Me: No] So nice of you to remember. You're like a lit major. Memorising texts.
- Philosophers - they sat in their desks. (at)
- [On Marx, the base and superstructure] Let us think of this in terms of University life. Let me say first of all that I do not think you are being exploited... These extra-curricular activities make it possible for you to stand going to lectures. Not that I think lectures are boring.
- That's what that data point mean (means)
- [On the law of iterative expectations] Imagination does not provide you information, unless you are psychic.
- [On why he keeps slowing down to keep pace with the previous lecture group] The previous lecture group got very confused. I learnt from their mistakes... That's why I can teach more efficiently after my lecture on Tuesday. I feel a bit sorry for the Tuesday lecture group. (my)
- From this point on, there will be less math. Most of the math is done... Some people sound happy.
- You can use Walras's Law (Walras')
- [On drawing a curve as a straight line for simplicity] I don't want you to spend time going: 'Ah, it's going to look like this'.
- Now we come to the grand finale. All you have done from the time you first saw me to this week ends in - this 4 lines. And it took you 5 weeks.
- Don't pack your things yet. I've a stupid story to tell you. Your tutorial 2 - that's not the stupid story...
- In Singapore you can buy canes in the market... Little curly plastic handles. I'm sure you remember. I'm sure you're very familiar with this.
- People might say caning was unacceptable when confronted with a member of the Singapore Children's Society, but think in private that it was okay.
- In Hong Kong... a woman was prosecuted, and there was prosecution by the social services, for making the child study excessively.
- [On facial features of children inhibiting parental anger] It's difficult to be angry and aggressive to something that is cute
- No school ever had the slogan 'The Worst is Yet to Be', yet it is as true and as unfalsifiable as 'The Best is Yet to Be'... 'The Best is Yet to Be' is a triumph of optimism over pessimism. It has no rational basis.
- [On a confused enquiry] I'm concerned. I'm paid to be concerned... Students are not meant to graduate confused.
- In doing questionnaire studies, you always need to make allowances for those who either wilfully, or because they were half asleep, or drunk, or tired, or gave it to their maid to fill in... There's always noise in the data.
- [On abuse] Their boss is always picking on them, so they whack the wife, the wife whacks the kid, the kid kicks the cat. Something like that.
- [On infanticide resulting from post-natal depression] I don't know, but I would like to know if it makes the mother feel worse. As a biologist I think it will make her feel better. As a social scientist I think it will make the mother feel worse.
- [On the mid-semester break] Next week is your break so-called 'week'
- [On mass consciousness] The revolution never happened. Some say that, in some places, it did. I wouldn't want to live in Cuba or North Korea though.
- In Singapore, power is concentrated. Can I say [this]? I'm a foreigner. What can they do to me?
- What does Marx think about political emancipation? It's like a quiz show. 'Contestant! What does Marx think of political emancipation?'
- Bring out your readings. So even if you didn't do your reading you can pretend to underline.
- In the Philippines, they have these prayer rallies. These are not attended by the middle class. The pastor will ask: 'Who doesn't have a job?' A thousand people will raise their hands. The pastor will say: 'Tomorrow you will get a job'. The next day 2 of them get a job, and they go 'Hallelujah!' Two out of a thousand.
- For Durkheim, the Totemic Principle underlied the distinction between Sacred and Profane (underlay)
- [On the end of lecture buzzer] Oh goodness. That's so harsh. It's like I've done something wrong, isn't it?
- [On linear regression] Our task is to find the green line. If you don't know what you are doing, then I don't know what to say.
- At the end of the task book (textbook)
- point five t (two)
- the colour that corresponds to (column)
- in other whirl (words)
- [On the meaninglessness of the slope coefficient when regressing onto a binary variable] D equals to 1 for a male and D equals to 0 for a female... You talk about changing the feminits, the masculinits... It has no meaning. (gender)
- I want to use this new miracle example (numerical)
- It's very simple. I expect you to know it. It's not simple. It's simple because I expect you to know it.
- [On the mid-semester break] I don't know why, but some chap decided to put a week from Sunday to Thursday. You get a break, but you don't get a break from me.
- [Flashes slide on 'How to Study'] First, you ask yourself how you learn best. Don't copy please! I'm not going to test you on this! [Ed: NUS students...]
- [On reading the textbook/notes before the lecture] Or do you prefer the excitement, not finding out beforehand? *laughs from audience* It's not a joke! I'm like that.
- [To the end of lecture buzzer] Shut up.
- loin x (ln)
- If we don't server'sify (specify)
- That's why copyright is very important (property rights are)
- the street line (straight)
- any vinegar (villager)
- Re-riding problem (freeriding)
- kidney problem (TV program)
- This cannot be choo (true)
- the mungle utility (marginal)
- only and only if (if)
- in j / jair (agent j)
- Glues Clarks (Groves-Clarke)
- Goose Clark (Groves-Clarke)
- Marsh equilibrium (Nash)
- To tell you the truce (truth)
- jack (J)
- seeker ma (sigma)
- farm (firm)
- labour market and good market (goods)
- The most creative example would be: you think about you have a baby boy, ok, you measure its height everyday. And suppose you plant a tree in your backyar, with the baby boy. And every year you measure the height of the tree at the height of the baby, and then you can regress your baby's height over the height of the tree. And you'll definitely see R square [to be] very high... You cannot say that the growth of [the] tree caused the growth of [the] baby, okay. Of course, unless, in some magic world that's true. So based on... you live in some magic world that's true, then the regression really tell you causal relationship (imagine, backyard, and, on, calculate)
- [During the makeup lecture] Now I have to move on, otherwise I'll have to give another makeup lecture

--- NUS Staff (first half of semester, before mid-semester break)

 

- [After a plug for the Economist] Honestly, browsing old issues... will not help you perform better in your midterm or final exam.
- Cash-in-advance - CIA. A very bad acronym again, but it's okay.
- [On the government and the central bank] Most countries - central banks are independent. Of course, if you go to Africa, they're the same thing.
- The truth of the matter is your tutor is sick, so he has to be gone... Sorry, not 'he's going to be gone'.
- [Female lecturer:] He graded the midterm... If you have a problem with the grading, you look for him, because I don't have what he has. (???)
- [On a digital handout] You'll get a typewritten sheet of paper. Whatever, you print it out, it's typewritten.
- It's very interesting to see this equation, because George W. Bush doesn't seem to think the lifetime budget constraint holds. So he keeps spending and spending. We'll see what happens soon.
- [On her definition of the classical dichotomy] Trust me. This is the correct definition. Or the less misleading definition.
- You can do an experiment and go around asking people, or economists, or people who think they are economists, whether they think money is neutral... This we will do in future lectures. It's the exciting part.
- 2 by 2 mare'trix (matrix)
- from this gair'm (game)
- the pee off (payoff)
- [On a zero-sum game] Fortunately, in my class, I don't play such a game.
- This is my bestest strategy (best)
- ah 1 s (o)
- [On Freud] His theories were very circular... If you were very violently opposed to homosexuals, maybe it was because you were a latent homosexual. If you were sympathetic to homosexuals, maybe it was because you were a latent homosexual... Anything could support the theory.
- [On vicarious discharge of deprivation - eg TV violence as a safety valve] I think it only applies to hunger and thirst. It doesn't apply to sex - I'm not the best judge of that. You may [be].
- Men express aggression more physically... Women derogate their rivals. They say nasty things about competing women. That certainly counts as aggression.
- [On the value of suspicion] People who are utterly trusting are either saints... Saints tend to be sacrificed. They get the worst [treatment] in the world.
- [On biased recall of memories by suggestion, and emotions] There was a wave of revealed child abuse cases... the psychologists... advised their patients to confront their perpetrators... it gradually became apparent that there were a number of cases where it couldn't be true... when they looked at the video tapes, the sound tapes, it became obvious the psychologists were leading people on... This father was accused of abusing his daughter. He was in jail at the time.
- [On tutorials] I received an email saying I talk too much, and I probably do.
- If you use humour or wit; that separates an A plus paper from an A paper or an A minus paper... Originality, humour and wit make an engaging paper worth reading, right to the end.
- [On someone sitting outside the circle] It will be hard to lead the discussion from there. Come into the circle of trust.
- ***. She's not here. Oh! You're here.
- [On anthropological studies] I have a lot of disgusting studies. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share them with you.
- [On inter-religious dialogue and understanding] There are many answers, but I'll give you the UN answer, since we live in a united world.
- [On Durkheim] Catholics go to Mass, for example. Or they go to Suntec City, for example.
- [On Lennon's 'Imagine'] I wonder if Marx would approve of this song... 'That's what I've been saying all along! John, you're great!'
- [On problems with the projector] Is anyone here a techno sort of person? (technically inclined)
- The short answers look alike to the homework questions. (answer questions look similar)
- Some multiple choice [questions] are even more difficult than the short answer questions.
- I don't like the textbook example. Talking about test scores. It's bothering. (bothersome)
- [On multiple regression] If you have 1 y and 15 x values, you will torture Eviews. The software will die.
- [On MCQ answer D - "indeterminate"] When students cannot get the answer, they choose d).
- This is roar (rho)
- How many of you choose A? *hands go up* All the men... A is the answer.
- war'king years (working)
- Back to this boring example
- [On 'no perfect multicollinearity'] The most important thing: the spelling. The spelling is so long. Once you get the spelling right...
- person'teej (percentage)
- There's nothing new here
- There's nothing new
- [On an easy question] The answer is...? Should we run Eviews first?
- In other work (words)
- q z'yeah (j)
- If these 2 firms can co'load (collude)
- This is not crap (correct)
- According to the duh minor function (demand)
- My solution was crap (correct)
- We only need to consider the third guess (case)
- Gifted mathematicians can think mathematics. Ordinary mortals like you and I can't... Even mathematicians learn it and practise it until they know it. They're really strange creatures.
- [On requests for expert commentary on social issues] 99.9% of the thing the media want to know about are things for which there are no experts in the department... what we end up doing is: "I'm not really an expert in this, but if we work from first principles..."
- I like to read what's on people's T-shirts. They tend to forget... [To someone wearing a female top with 'hot and delicious', or something to that effect] You're covering your chest now.
- Why do women and not men like to cover their mouths when they laugh?
- [Tutor:] Ah, late. You get to sit next to me then. That's your punishment for the day.
- ed chatterer (et cetera)
- He's the lecturer. He can do what he wants. I'm the... teaching assistant. 'Make me a cup of coffee c' *mimes stirring*
- [Student: He should really bring back webcast] I'm just the guy who makes coffee c.
- [Student: All he talks about in his lecture is going to a CD shop] And then he plays John Lennon at the end.
- [On Eliade's affair with Dasgupta's daughter] I would love to talk more about this, I would love to show you the movie starring Hugh Grant... But we have to move on.
- [On what Eliade learnt in India] The lessons he learnt - not from his affair with Dasgupta's daughter, but from India as a whole.
- [On essays due in 2 weeks] I don't need to remind you that the essays are due - when? tomorrow?
- [On essays] I know it's sort of given, but humour me anyway. It's fun to mention this. I would like to see an argument.
- [On essay titles] Why Freud himself needs to be psychoanalysed. Something like that.
- Maybe I'm naive. I have faith. Maybe I'm like John Lennon - imagining a world without plagiarism.
- Let's take a break. I'm going to read to you...
- I don't want a lecture in which you're listening to me all the time. As exciting as that might sound.
- Everything here is the sam. [Me: There's nothing new here.] [Student: There's nothing new here] There's nothing new here either. (same)
- Eview (Eviews)
- in this par (part)
- Though you decree class size (decrease)
- Under [a] 2 tailed test we must compute whether it is greater than 1.96. You remember that? [The] Mid-term is coming.
- We can use this 'union' [sign] to represent 'or'. Is that okay with you?
- [On a complication] So what does this mean? [Me, sotto voce: We're screwed lah] [Student: You sum up my feelings quite well]
- So we need to learn something new... So we take a break, and after the break we learn something new.
- good new (news)
- Guess whether Williamson is Neo-classical or New Keynesian? New Keynesian? New Classical? No one thinks?... New Keynesian? *some put up hands* Why? That's the problem with putting up your hands. You can come and tell me why during my office hours later.
- Doesn't do very well, is it? (does)
- Each new unit of beehiver (beehives)
- sub'sai'dee (subsidy)
- seventy seven (thirty)
- a rounce their own valuation (announce)
- backward in'daction (induction)
- I want post the answer (won't)
- Just don't change the odour (order)
- Don't show your bubble form to your neighbor. Or I will come out with one question in your final exam about cheating... It will be very difficult.
- Some of you have, as it were, been infected with memes for skeptical thinking.
- If anyone is wondering, I support the idea that science is a memeplex. But as *** pointed out, science is the only memeplex whose results affect the memplex itself... In religion, new findings are only accepted if they support the theory.
- [Student on man's experience of the sacred and Eliade's theory: How will he know it's sacred if he's never experienced it before?] You'll just now... Phenomenology, drugs... There's this light coming in from the window. Like, what are you on?]
- Like, soccer games have lots of sacred moments. Seriously... You look at their faces when they score goals.
- Science and technology can be sacred as well. I remember when I first got my Nintendo. Wow... That's the word for today. Dialectic of sacredness. (phrase)
- I don't really need to tell you to start talking among yourselves. We're having some technical difficulties, so talk amongst yourselves for a while.
- If any of your friends have chosen to study overseas, which I think is a mistake, a very big mistake, because NUS is a very good university to study in, I'm sure you all agree...
- Why is it Singaporeans in the SPL - is it Singapore Premier League?
- [On a wink and a twitch] He starts winking at you... You think: 'He's really into me'... Another interpretation: the person could have some sort of eye problem.
- Another interpretation of this twink and a witch (wink, twitch) [Ed: I think this is the first Spoonerism I've ever heard. At least in NUS.]
- Geertz was very veer'ment (vehement)
- [On the mid-term] I know many of you are disappointed. Don't be disappointed because many people did poorly... I was very shocked. Sample variance will be very large.
- [On delay in writing on the OHT] I got a new pen. it's good.
- Which model do you want to run? There are many models. There are many menus. Menus at the restaurant.
- [On advancing slides in Powerpoint] Annoying. I don't like the clicking noise.
- [On 1+1=2 = 1+1+1-1=2] The most powerful skill in maths or economics - to add and subtract. I added this much, I subtracted this much - same thing.
- one point two eight person't (percent)
- [On writing on the OHT] My pen's so clear. I'm happy.
- You attended yesterday's lecture. Then why are you here again?... *Is told that it's not the same person* I remember... something wrong with my memory.
- Different slop. Slop is also different. (slope)
- [On doing badly in the midterm] If you're hardworking, if you're consistent - you can do well [overall]. [Ed: But if you're consistent and you did badly in the midterm, you'd do badly in the final too...]
- I have been told that, very sneakily, some of you tried to do the same question twice [using a different method]... Some of you tried to do the same question twice, in the same way. I don't know what you were thinking of.
- [On underemployment] They spend 3 hours working. The rest of the time they're talking.
- This is a very exciting model, the RBC model. We're going to go on to another exciting model - the Keynesian business cycle model.
- [On sticky wages] Can you imagine if you went to your mom and asked for your allowance to be indexed to wages? I mean inflation? Your mom would go crazy.
- [On writing assignment answers on the board] From next week onwards, if you have not presented, I will ask you to present. If you have already presented, I will not let you volunteer.
- We have some unknown ver'rye'er'berls (variable)
- Is the function of a wise choice (Y's)
- You have to know how to get the results. We are economists, not mathematicians.
- [On the ultimatum game and economic irrationality] You may ask: If Player II cannot get [a better deal], why wouldn't he reject [it]? I don't know why... That is the definition. He cannot do better... If I play the game with you, if I want the whole pie for myself, you will reject [my offer]. I agree with you.
- Delta cue'bee (cube)
- [On Nach equilibria] You may ask why you choose [this module's code]. it's because you cannot do better in any other module.
- [After going through the mid-term] Write your name, then you can leave. Enjoy your life. Exam is nothing.
- Not everyone has the same level of sexual interest. To some of you this will be puzzling, to others it will be obvious.
- [On Horrobin's theory about fat, creativity, eccentricity and schizophrenia] You have to be a little bit disconnected from reality to be creative. Really creative people are really quite strange.
- [On forays out of the classroom] I had the opportunity to help with an orang utan... Not Ah Meng, another one.
- We're nice people. We smile. Men are more likely to read too much into the smile. It is adaptive to risk a rebuff... If 9 out of 10 women slap your face and say 'bugger off', it doesn't matter if the 10th woman smiles and, you know?... Bad manners are good for genetics.
- I was terribly tempted to bring in a snake this morning and present it in the middle of class... How many of you would leave now if I had a snake in my pocket? No?
- [On depression] There's a risk you might kill yourself. Don't do it. It's a bad choice. You will always recover and feel better. Always.
- [On hunter-gatherer societies] Suicide wasn't an easy thing to do, short of taking a large instrument and falling on it.
- I've got free copies of Time Magazine's October 26th issue here. They're free... [Student: Will it be used in the exam?] That is such a disgusting reply... All you think about is passing exams. You're here to learn. [Me: You could make this a non-examinable module] [Other student: Or you could give us the A straight away]... If everybody is somebody, nobody is anybody.
- [On the OHP screen's string blocking the whiteboard] This is so infuriating. World Class University dangles the string in front of the whiteboard.
- How do you recognise a psychopath when you see one? [Student: When he starts charging at you] You've got a sort of mad ax murderer complex.
- [On psychopaths] Imagine the worst sort of car salesman and magnify him 5 to 10 times.
- [To someone] We were just discussing Psychopathy... Failure of conscience... You, of course, are stricken with guilt for coming to class late.
- You might want to see if 'executioner' is listed in the government directory. My money is that it's not there... Effort is made to distance themselves from it. (them)
- I'm told that the hangman, the axman would always ask forgiveness from the victim to be, which was always given because the victim wanted a clean cut... No lingering doubts [on the axman's part]
- Name reasons why people kill each other. *silence*... You have difficulty in thinking of reasons. I am encouraged [as to your lack of homicidal tendencies]
- [On how drugs actually make you feel worse] I used to smoke... the way I gave it up was by smoking until I felt sick.
- [On a faux explanation for anorexia] There was a theory going around. Females who were afraid of sex, so they made themselves unattractive.
- [Student on a copy of Time Magazine dated 5 days in the future: Is this the latest issue?] [Me: It's dated in the future, so you're cutting edge.] Yes, that's one of the most irritating things about Time magazine.
- Interesting fellow, Geertz. But I say that every week [about the theorists].
- penny tense (penitence)
- I shall reiterate... you will not pass the exam if you do not study at least 4 theorists.
- Today is the 19th of October. The 18th was a very special day for many of you, when you unleashed your term paper[s] on the world of academia.
- If we can measure a book's success by the amount of criticism it receives... it's quite safe to say that the Da Vinci code is a success... I'm not prescribing it as a text for this class, but I'm sure a lot of you would be happy if I did.
- [On Carol P. Christ] Let's go back to Christ. Not Jesus, of course, but Carol.
- Clearly, not all feminist scholars are women, not all women are feminist scholars.
- The film we are about to see is called Flores Para Guadalupe. *Laughs from audience* Why is that funny?
- I put this question in the last exam, and it worked. Many people did poorly... As long as you write down the hypotheses clearly, you get full marks. My questions are always simple.
- [Finding a new way to repeat a platitude] If these things are new to you, then I'm so worried.
- I need to tack (take)
- [Addressing the class] A lot of people did poorly in the midterm. You're not the only one.
- [On writing on the OHT] My font looks like Times New Roman.
- [On moving to the next graph] Let's go.
- [On an error] No wonder some of you were laughing. I guess it's the first time you've seen an upward sloping demand curve.
- [On scoring in exams] As an economist, your responsibility is to maximise your points for the time you have... I presume your utility is determined by your points. You have to maximise your utility function.
- If you ever panic during an exam, please stop your exam. Close your eyes, take a nap. Or go out of the exam hall and take a walk... It sounds very funny, but it's not a joke... Walk very slowly out of the exam hall... Stop laughing. It's really really not funny.
- Since it is in eager (an integer)
- [On asymmetric information and uncertainty] I don't know what questions to set for the exam. I don't know how good my students are.
- fail game (fair)
- [On flipping a coin] probably point 5 [probability that] we can get a hat (head)
- von Neumann-Morgan'stick (Morgenstern)
- risk lahvee (loving)
- We will show that latter (later)
- Asked to pee for buying insurance (pay)
- [On dealing with insurance salesman] At first I buy. But then they keep coming. So I just tell them: I am risk levy (bought some, kept, told, loving)
- [On a letter on pricing at King's Cross Station] I was reading the newspaper... I'm sorry, I'm digressing. But it's still early in the morning... A bottle of water cost more than a bottle of milk... I'm drinking lime juice.
- [On vehement objections to Evolutionary Psychology] I feel the need to make the case, because people will knock it down anyway.
- [On faux perxeptions of a lack of hierarchies in meerkats] There was a 'Meerkats United' program, dubbed over with David Attenborough's voice.
- [On status and sexual access in men] You're not going to tell me that Pop Stars and Footballers... are less advantaged in this respect than people like you and me.
- [On going through the midterm] Some of you have done very well. If you want to leave earlier, it's ok.
- You meet people and you tell them you're a psychologist. 'Can you read my mind?' To which the proper answer is 'yes'. I used to go into long explanations. Now I just say 'yes'.
- Mind-body dualism. It's bedevilled psychology ever since... Descartes is really a bad guy in my book because he made this mind-body duality... [Student: It's not his fault. It was his student who made the distinction, not him]
- I'll have to read Descartes again. [Student: I'll show you my honours thesis] Nono. Life is short.
- The supplementary material here is not data. It's a piece of Alexander the Great.
- [On r = -0.88, p < 0.0001, for a relationship between lower male life expectancy and higher homicide rates in 77 Chicago neighbourhoods] If you had data like this in a correlational study, you'd be cheering all the way to the publisher's.
- [On shortening snout lengths and rising forehead sizes] Lastly, something I like very much. The evolution of the teddy bear. This research is made possible because in Cambridge there is a teddy bear museum. Teddy bears seem to have undergone evolution, presumably as a result of customer pressure.
- If I'm not mistaken, Brahma does not have an anthropromorphic form... Unlike the Christian god. He looks like Santa Claus. With less fat.
- [On oppression of females in religion and feminist theory] You guys feel oppressed in any way, in your religion?... Getting the shorter end of the stick. Not really? That's the point right.
- [On quoting from Milton's Paradise Lost] You guys like to know how angels make love?
- This is NUS. The best university in the region. That's why filipino boys have to come here.
- [On term papers] Generally good. Why do you guys look so sad?
- [On the exam] It's a really really surreal 2 hours. Anything can happen in the 2 hours.
- If you see me around, you can say hi. You know how graduate students are. We're very lonely creatures.
- Much Donald's (McDonald's)
- [On security guards in the Philippines and Santo Nino dressed as one] The interesting thing is they'd be armed with shotguns, and M16s, and grenades. And toothpicks. No, not grenades.
- The semester is coming to an end. [The] class size is becoming smaller.
- [On a model] We need to torture the software a bit more. We need to squeeze. Squeeze the computer.
- [On variables in a regression] It's like giving a child so many candies and cookies. Too many things involved. (?)
- [On a time fixed effect model] In 78, you're female. In 85, you're still female. Most likely.
- [On brevity] Don't write the null wrong. This is not sociology. Don't write too many things. This is statistics.
- If you just write 'We should include state effects [in the regression to avoid omitted variable bias]' You get zero marks, 99% significance. [Student: What about the 1%?]
- The difference between Keynesians and New Keynesians is that New Keynesians are newer than Keynesians.
- There're only so many things you can put on top of a variable. So I used Y1 hat hat.
- You always hear in the news: Japan is suffering from a liquidity trap... That's a question for you [to solve using the model]. It should be quite fun to solve.
- Theoretically, we've come to the end of the course. No one's clapping. *audience claps* I was joking.
- Then you learn about ideologies or schools of thought. 'Ideology' sounds harsh. Schools of thought.
- [On popular economics books] These books are easy to read. They don't have the math which drives you crazy.
- I am not going to be sadistic for the final exam.
- Don't go out of point. If the question asks you to write down the consumer's maximisation problem, write it down. Don't solve it. Do you understand? *laughs from audience*
- [On consultation] Please feel free to drop by and see me. You can exploit me.
- B wah'ng (one)
- If you use the bad word (go backwards)
- Why we need second strand (a second strategy)
- This pass and this pass (part)
- SPNE is combine'nation of strategies (a combination)
- you will damage (deviate)
- jeweler (jewelry)
- law risk individuals (low)
- prat improvement (pareto)
- There are uh'n burgers (n)
- All used cars are salt (sold)
- used cars honours (owners)
- [On the final] If you have extra time, you can do anything you want. You can even draw pictures.
- [On soliciting responses from the audience] I realise this is a lecture and not a seminar, but life is one big seminar for me. When I go on the MRT: ask me questions! It's quite worrying. It might be a sign of psychosis.
- If you look up 'taantra' on Google, what do you find?... You guys are so pure!... Try it some time, you'll be shocked.
- [Me on sex in Tantric Buddhism and the Yab-Yum: Sex is sacred] Are you speaking for yourself?
- [On the Yab-Yum] We're gonna come back to a later virgin... version.
- Have you listened to Lori Anderson? [Other lecturer: Not recently] You're kids. You're all kids. I'm in my 40s.
- I think I may have created the impression that American Buddhists are just into sex, drugs and rock and roll all the time.
- I used to be invited to give Buddhist talks in Singapore and Malaysia. White guy, Buddhist - ooh, let's invite him... I invited a gay Buddhist group. They chickened out... 'Don't kill a fly because 500 times before in its previous life, it might have been your mother.' 'You might have been gay 500 times before in your previous life. Get over it.' I never got invited back.
- Questions [on the exam]? How am I? I'm fine, thank you.
- [On technology making participant observation easier] It was easier to travel to Indonesia, or Morocco... than for people like Tylor, or Frazer. Or Marx, though he probably wouldn't have been interested.
- [On theoretical eclecticism] What was Marx? [Someone: Communist.] Was Marx a Marxist? It's possible he was not. Communist, maybe.
- [On a 'childlike naivite and backwardness' (written) and Intelligent Design] George Bush is not one of our theorists. Maybe I shouldn't put him in there. (naivete)
- [On being inundated with exam enquiries via email] The second question is, 'What are the questions like?' Actually, that wasn't the question. It was more like, 'What are the questions?... Give me the questions, we'll all be happy'
- [On spotting questions] What should I study? The basic answer is that you should study everything.
- [On writing essay outlines in exams] It's not an official policy, but maybe if we see you planning your response, we'll go, 'Oh...'
- [On how to kill trees in the interests of legibility] You can do double space... I don't think there's a limit on how many booklets you can use, is there?
- [On exam FAQs] Administrative stuff. What do I mean? First of all, that you turn up.
- No dictionaries. I trust in your vocabulary. You will have no problem whatsoever.
- [Giving lame excuses for making the exam open book] You might become complacent... You will regurgitate material. It might affect your ability to craft a critical and thoughtful response.
- [On exam hints] I feel kind of bad, spoiling the surprise for you.
- [On recycling material for different essays during exams despite instructions against it] It will be quite impossible. The questions are very different... A lot of you are very creative, I know.
- [On spotting theorists for the exam - 8 are taught in the course as a whole] Knowing 3 theorists is not enough. 4 - not enough. 5 - pushing it.
- Midterm questions are still important. Especially the short answer questions. Maybe they'll show up again. Who knows? (Questions from the midterm)
- I came up with this sort of question 1 year ago... It doesn't mean I will set this sort of question again. It depends on my mood.
- I killed you once in the mid-term. Chances are smaller that I will give this question again... It's still possible.
- You are the major (manufacturer)
- This part is my surprise (surplus)

--- NUS Staff (second half of semester, after mid-semester break)

 

 

- They call us SNAILS [Ed: Students Not Actually In Law School], we call them SLUGS - Stupid Law UnderGraduateS
- Why don't you make a pack of poker cards with Wo-hen Nankan? Then you can play.
- Have you been to the *** lecture yet? I think it's a test not only of *** concepts, but of listening comprehension concepts.
- [On a module] it's more like a level 5000 listening compre module than a level 3000 *** module (MSN)
- [On USP] It's like the extreme sports. You don't really gain any tangible benefit. It's just for the challenge.
- [Someone: Look at my duck. {on my Mac}] You have a duck, but what's the use of that when you've no right mouse button?
- USP is for all the misfits... You have the Nimrod here [points to me], Cthulhu-worshipper... USP is for all the losers. At one point in our lives, we have all been isolated because of our alternative intellectual pursuits (ostracised)
- USP is made up of predominantly ugly people. Misfits. *My SMS ringtone of Krusty the Klown sounds* See what I mean?
- [On the professor] Thank you for making an easy question look so difficult.
- [Me: You prefer to converse in Chinese?] No. It's just that NJ has conditioned me to speak Chinese. [Me: Yay. So we are agreed.]
- [On A03A] Usually the girls will go for super long toilet breaks. Then they will come back giggling... Four of them hyper-ventilating. So you can tell how much the guys missed out.
- When the girls start hyperventilating, the guys cannot take it already. Can you imagine - if there's only one guy [in the class]? He'll need a psychologist.
- [On people not believing my prime reason for growing my hair out] You can tell her: I'll tell you in 2 years. Then when you see her, you whip her [with your ponytail]. 'I told you, but you didn't believe me'
- [Me on STRIP: Go lah. Be my eyes and ears on the ground.] I don't want to spoil my eyesight.
- [Professor: Luqman. Do you preferred to be called Abdullah?] Most people call me Abdullah, but my parents call me Luqman.] I have no quick answer to that.
- [Female student:] If you could make out with someone famous, who would it be? [Male student: A lot {of people}.]
- If you woke up tomorrow and you were a guy, what would you do? [Tutor: That's a question all of us would've been asked once in our lives.] [Student: I would check out myself in the mirror.]
- I am what you would call a Submarine Catholic. I surface when I'm in trouble.
- [Tutor: Suppose your parents couldn't swim. Both of them fell into the water, and you could only save one. Which would you save?] I wouldn't save either... I'm in this phase - hating my parents
- [Tudung girl:] I am a Muslim - obviously.
- My name is ***. I'm a life science major and I don't know which year I'm in.
- I'm passionate about flerms. All sort of flerms... Hollywood flerms (films)
- [On rousing my wrath] I know all your buttons already. Just display extreme stupidity. [Me: Then you just debase yourself.] I don't mind.
- A lot of students are very radical. If NUSSU were to lead a protest march up Kent Ridge Crescent, I think a lot of them would come.
- [Me: When I smile, I look like a mad man.] If you don't laugh hysterically, then you look alright.
- [To me] I like it when you corect my English. Reminds me of my RGS days.
- i don't know what exactly walrus law is? (Walras') (MSN message)
- There are some people who say that women get hornier after they have sex with the first time, and they are more willing to bang another guy if he's watching... [Professor: Post the link {in the forum}]
- Who's that guy?... [Me: Wo-hen Nankan, the Asian Prince... You were looking at him during the whole tutorial?] More like he was looking at me.
- My mom always tells me not to bite your fingernails if you don't want your parents to die. [Tutor: *looks at nails* My parents are still pretty much alive.]
- [Professor: There's nothing new here.] 'There's nothing new here, there's nothing new here'. If there's nothing new here, why're you teaching us this?
- The reason why my skirts are so short is not for guys to see. It is because if a short girl wears a long skirt she will look even shorter.
- [On my Shameless-o-Meter] Well, there's one thing clear. You have too much time.
- [On proposed styling of an allegedly ah lian hairstyle] We['ll] take a picture of you with a few strands of hair around your face... Call it 'Revenge of the Ah Lians'
- [Student on parallels between cupboards on the Island of Doom and KL taxis: You give them pork, then the taxi will shake.] Before you give them pork the taxi is shaking because it is very lao pok. After you give them pork, the taxi will become like Herbie: Fully loaded.
- I wasn't racist until I started working.
- I wasn't racist until I went to KL.
- [On sharing the fruits of evolutionary psychology with the world] I think this should remain an academic thing, because if everyone knows then I can't use this to go and get girls.
- [On penis envy] Shouldn't men have breast envy?
- [On the professor] I love her man. Happily drawing on her textbook.
- tunder ties (thunder thighs)
- [On a piece of concept tissue with the word 'Reserved' on it] A science person would not be fascinated by that. [Other student: Science people do not question. They just accept.] ... [only] in Physics. You should come to the Evolutionary Biology lab. The people there...
- [On Marx] Even though he goes in a huge round, talking crap and confusing all of his readers...
- [On Marx] For crap like this... 20% of the material matters. 80% is crap. Just read the first paragraph, the last paragraph... read the first sentence, the last sentence.
- [On taking my non-hair tie rubber bands every week] You are my rubber band commander. (provider)
- Today is an exceptionally hot day. The girls' skirts are getting higher and higher. [Other student: Maybe it's because the skirts are high] It's mating season.
- *Pulls my hair* Don't be angry. Later I'll let you pull my ponytail.
- Why do we need to observe flies mating to study sexual selection? Just go to the Arts Canteen.
- [On a lecturer] He shouldn't teach at all. His English is so bad. He should go back and learn English before teaching.
- [On the different pronunciation of lecturers] You know what this is called? The flavours of Asia.
- I rather do maths than do essays. [Me: Then do 'mathematical economics'.] That one is too much maths. (has)
- [On my sister asking my brother in law and I to feel the padding in Singaporean bras] If there's something wrong with you, there's something wrong with your sister as well.
- [Professor: The KKK, a famous group...] 'Famous group'. He makes it sound like a boyband.
- [Me on someone: He's a dashing figure.] All in black. [Me: He's cold. Yet there are people who are able to wear hot shorts.] Women - they have a layer of fat.
- I left a blue curtle / kettle / curtain / laptop here. (bottle)
- Gabriel, you look very nice in pants.
- [On a lecturer] My friend said he's very funny. He laughed at his own joke, then he fell off his chair.
- We don't have any restricted access [facilities]. Arts - we're like a prostitute. Everyone comes in and uses us.
- [On religious objections to using donor mitochondrial DNA to replace the mother's damaged copy] Someone might complain that the baby has 1.5 souls.
- [Professor: What might be the objection to designer babies?] Too expensive. That's the only thing I can think of.
- A sense of alienation which is akin to Mars (Marx)
- I was saying that... Okay, I'm lost. [Tutor: So am I.]
- [On the lecturer] I really think he's like my ex-boyfriend.
- [Me: 'Person't-Person't relationship'] I didn't know we're taking a sociology module (percentage)
- It's so carefree to be a teenager. [Me: So what are we? Not teenagers, not yet adults.] We're half fucks.
- My project mates - they do their work. That's all I ask for... They speak English. That's all I ask for. Very basic requirements - do you work and speak English.
- I saw this guy in Arts. He looks like the Obi-Wan Kenobi... the beard. (like)
- Last time, in NJ, after drinking a can of green tea I would run around the school, because I got super high.
- [On the Jack Rabbit and getting attached] I don't need it any more.
- In the past, when I was a much more hornier bastard, SCGS was my first choice... That was 1996. Now SCGS girls all cannot make it.
- In India elephants raid distilleries to drink the alcohol. The caretakers come in and find them sitting around with their trunks in the air.
- The burger is $1. Everything else is 4 or 5 times the price. So the guys eat 2 or 3 a day. [Professor: I'm getting an insight into student economics]
- If Geertz wants to study me, and I say I'm pretty, he'll say, "Yes, you're pretty".
- When your friend interviews you for a class, you use more high-falutin language, you sound more intelligent than normally.
- [On Clifford Geertz] Personally I think he lost track, really, while doing his research, of what he wanted to do.
- [On being attached] After I was with him, my hair and nails started growing faster.
- [On a high chair at the lecturer's area] What's the high chair there for? For babies to lecture us.
- I suspect you take down quotes to laugh at people... So irritating. Sometimes I read your blog, I can hear you sniggering.
- [On slack staff] *** has already left. It's 12[pm]. Modern day Cinderella. In the morning some more.
- [On himself] *** is a 22 year old virgin. Why is everyone silent.
- Number of recessions is the number of trouts (troughs)
- These Arts girls, they ask stupid questions [in class]. Just google it! 'It helps me to think]. [Me: You know women. Or some women. Or most women.] Arts students. [Me: NUS students. What's it like in Science?] In science they don't ask questions. They just sit there. [Me: Which is worse?] Arts. If you don't ask questions you don't disrupt the lesson.
- [On bad experiences at his alma mater] RI sucks... I'm sending my kids to Ahmad Ibrahim. They're also 100 [years old]
- Business students are so fucking, fucking lazy... It's their core module, they don't give a damn. I think you can put any econs student there, they will get first class honours... Even ***.
- I read your blog so often, my girlfriend said if she doesn't know me, she'll think I have a crush on you. I said: Are you kidding? You haven't seen Gabriel.
- [On 'The Graduate'] 'Hard times'. Sounds like a porn movie. [Girl: I was thinking of Charles Dickens, the novel.] I skipped it.
- [Hindu student:] We have Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. The Creator, the Destroyer and the... [Non-hindu student: Protector] There're too many. Sometimes I forget too.
- [On the cult of the Virgin Mary] But then it became an iconoclastic itself. (icon)
- [On stealing her sister's body lotion] I'm very happy today. [Me: Why?] Because I smell nice... I think I should give you more of such comments. So you can give me the roll-eyes look. (roll your eyes at me)
- I think I lost the hair pin you gave me... [Me: I've only lost 1 so far] Because you're not a girl.
- [Me on job requirements: Is there any job in which you don't have to work well with others?] Academia. Teachers - your students have to work well with you.
- Ukrainia (Ukraine?)
- [To someone dealing with money on persistent evasion of awkward questions] ***, ah ***. You can't even be honest about your life, how can you be honest about our funds?
- [Me to someone reading Singapore FHM: Why do women read men's magazines?] [Someone else: To look at what they don't have] Because I'm bored [Me: To check out the competition]
- [On Asian Prince] Are you going to do an ISM [Ed: Individual Study Module] on him?
- Nice hair. You should... cut it. [Me: The 2 statements do not congeal.]
- [Me on American Romantic Buddhism, the Yab-Yum and group sex in Jack Kerouac: Buddhism {is} so fun huh.] I wanna convert now.
- [On a gay Yab-Yum and Eliade] Having sex is a sacred experience for them. They're experiencing nostalgia.
- [On Harry Potter] I saw *** [Ed: The philosophy professor] rad this on the bus before. I was shocked. (reading)
- [Girl:] I want your hair... Your hair is nicer than mine.
- You should get a short-haired girlfriend. You'll be quite compatible. (You two)
- [Fellow long-haired guy on people telling me to cut my hair] What's their problem? Everybody is telling me to cut my hair. It's fucking irritating.
- The Law library is super cold. Those stupid girls. They wear the super short shorts, complain "hen2 len3 ah, hen2 len3 ah" [Translation: It's very cold]... The next day, the same girl complained again... I was thinking. "Huo2 gai1" [Translation: Serves her right]... She complained to the guy. I think the guy was thinking the same thing. (One wore those, then complained)
- [On an example of a time fixed effect affecting the crime rate] The Coming of Christ
- [Me on the NUS Business library closing: Where's the sleazy music? *Sleazy music plays* Oh yeah!]... You just need a saxophone. *Saxophone starts playing* *Laughter from group*
- This is an interesting question. I hope it won't come out [in the exam]. Interesting questions should not come out.

--- NUS Students