- I met some of you after your camp, when you were preparing for your performances. When you were embarassing yourselves.
- All of us here are a bit abnormal... The professors: they love work and abhor money.
- lah'pell pin (lapel)
- When you look at the module, you will worry. [Looks at one module] That's me [who's teaching it]. You mean I'm supposed to teach?
- You will be... cursing yourself at some point. 'Why did I join USP?' We make you work because we think you want us to make you work.
- These range over quite a wide range.
- This sounds rather official, doesn't it? 'Singapore: the making of a nation'... Don't worry, there's no attempt to put forward the People's Action Party's viewpoint in this module.
- Not that I want to watch all these silly TV programs... I accidentally come across them when changing channels. They're so silly I can't resist watching them... The most silly programs are the dating shows.
- One of the benefits of having a university education in Singapore, as you might know, is that you are automatically a member of the SDU (Ed: Social Development Unit - a dating agency for graduates)
- You're not dating for fun. You're looking to settle down. Maybe produce future scholars.
- [On past USP projects and dating] There are some, like counter-terrorism, that don't seem very relevant, but if you change a few names, use your imagination... Dealing with your in-laws.
- ... Evolution. Definitely useful for understanding why your partner is in such a primitive state. Those are the modules that are relevant for love, dating and marriage.
- [On addressing professors] Most of us would prefer that you don't call us 'Sir' or 'Madam'.... [We prefer] 'Dr ***'. Or 'hi'. Or 'you'.
- [On going on exchange] IRO [International Relations Office] tells me that there is a lot of money around. You just have to look for it.
- [On presenting his travel pictures to students] I always have a lot of travel pictures, but nobody wants to see them... I have a captive audience
- [On a home experiment] Before your destroy it, let's see how it works.
- We have some pretty interesting modules like food, emotions... I love food. You can tell.
- One easy way of identifying the difference between sociology and social work is that in sociology we identify the problems. In social work they solve them.
- We all deserve to be helped, whether we are rich or poor, sick or... not sick.
- [On Social Work] President Nathan is an alumni of our department. That's how high you can go. (alumnus)
- Another module is dynamic effective inter-personal relations. If you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you may want to take it.
- [Powerpoint slide] The spread and quality of spoken and written English in Singapore represents one of the country's key assets
- At a quarter to two, we will stop... As a welcoming gesture to you, we have tea and snacks. I've been in Singapore for 5 years... The way to your hearts is tea and snacks... Having a lecture when you should be sitting in the canteen, having lunch.
- A few years ago, we were much more controlling... If you didn't come [for tutorials] a second time, we'd send you a warning note. If you didn't come a third time, we'd call the police... Give them your picture - 'have you seen this boy or girl?'
- We have a program here. After today, when a handphone goes off, a TA [Teaching Assistant] will come, collect the handphone, and give it to the (some words I didn't catch) nursing home... the elderly love giving calls to their children.
- When I was young, back in BC times [laughter from audience] Before computers! Before computers!
- How many of you are heterosexual, or homosexual, or bisexual?... All of these things involve relationships with other people (Having a sexuality does not mean that you engage in sexual interaction)
- When I go to my friend's house for dinner, I don't march around and lecture people on sociology. Sometimes I do, and my wife smacks me.
- fai'lo (philo)
- [On section headings on a webpage] What may not be so clear is that those are hyperlinks... I made it a little too elegant to be obvious.
- [On his cartoons] That's how I draw them. Socrates has twiddles on the head. Plato has twiddles on the beard.
- This guy is a sort of wild Vienese philosopher. His name is Ludwig Wittgenstein. He has great hair. He died in 1951.
- Wittgenstein... He was always tormenting his students by telling them one thing and then telling them another, so they'd think they were idiots.
- Wondered if he was part a monster and part a human being. Wittgenstein's students wondered that about him, he was always very obnoxious to them.
- When I first read Plato, I thought he was very boring. My teacher kept assuring me he was fascinating... After 6 years, I found him interesting.
- [On some Greek word] I was going to make a joke about it. Now I can't remember the joke.
- [On Alcibiades] He was Brad Pitt, basically. Everyone thought he was so much more handsome than everybody else.
- [On Alcibiades' defection] It would be like if Brad pitt joined Al-Qaeda... That's too extreme... It would be like if Steve Jobs joined Microsoft.
- [On Socrates] He used to say: 'I'm very beautiful, because my eyes bug out, so I can see in all directions. My nostrils flare, so I can get lots of air.
- [On Socrates] He asks them questions, gets some answers. Asks them more questions, gets more answers, until they end up contradicting themselves. That's why he's so annoying to them.
- [On pissing people off by asking probing, incisive questions as opposed to buttering them up and weaseling to them] Dale Carnegie is in the 100 Top Sellers [list], and Plato isn't.
- I've taken Dale Carnegie's advice on many occasions, even though I like Plato. So that's my contradiction.
- [Being sarcastic] If someone thinks that stars are made of cheese, just agree with them. That's the way to get ahead in science.
- [On Socrates] 'The Golden Age of Athens and the Gadfly of Athens'. Or: 'How to Lose Friends and Get Executed by People'
- [On the torching of Sardis by the Ionians, Athenians and Eretrians] They lost. Badly. But they managed to burn down the Western Capital. Maybe even by accident.
- [On his picture of a vase] When you're drinking at night and you want to think about how great the Battle of Marathon was, it's nice to have a vase of an Athenian Hoplite clobbering some poor Persian slob. Makes you feel better about yourself.
- [On Leonidas] 'Then we will fight in the shade'. A very good one [line], and of no philosophical interest.
- Socrates was an example of how not to defend yourself.
- I will give you a lot of in'tyou'tion (intuition)
- The lecture notes is not complete. I deliberately leave out some stuff so you have to come to class to learn something (are)
- ack'kins diet (Atkins)
- Instead of eating bread for breakfast you should be eating eggs and bacons (bacon)
- You have a good grarps on the economic tools (grasp of)
- [On a textbook] That's why I like O'Sullivan. The companion website is very good... Don't forget that your best companion is still: me.
- What is your respond? (response)
- National Day is not over yet, so the one in red can get the chance [to respond]
- There are people who are crazy, they spend all their time doing MSN sing, so they have no time to do their assignments (MSN-ing)
- Keynes' idea (Keynes's)
- You can make, impoverise your fellow players (impoverish)
- [On the Indian Protectorates] These were protected by the British. They were protected from doing what the British didn't want them to do.
- We have diversity in causes (as far as courses are concerned)
- [On joining the Sociology club] Do they have to pay? It's free! Oh my god, it's free! Do they get goodies? Do they get goodies? *nods head repeatedly* We'll find something for you.
- If a tutorial group is full, we can't let you in... We've got lots of room in the 8am tutorial groups.
- [On August Comte] He's the Father of Sociology. Who's the Mother of Sociology, people ask?
- [On a Monty Python skit - Argument Clinic] I'm going to attempt to recreate the comedy here. It's covered under fair use. This is strictly for educational purposes. You're not allowed to laugh; you're only allowed to be educated
- 'Dialectical dispute' - that's a fancy term I came up with just for this slide. I'll probably forget to use it later.
- There's a kind of simplicity to this, kind of live Sesame Street. It's when Elmo goes to visit the furry arms people (monsters?)
- [On dividing people into tutorial groups] Ugly people come in this week, beautiful people come in another week... You'll get into fights. I don't want to get into fights. There are too many of you.
- This is the Ancient Greek version of the 'Philosophy majors don't get jobs argument'.
- Euthyphro is like a super-villian. He talks about himself in the third person.
- I read a couple of scholarly essays on the Euthyphro. I'm not going to make you read any of them.
- [On the circle of interests - Yourself, Your Family, Your Countrymen etc] When Mars Attacks, we stand shoulder to shoulder against the Martians. When someone from outside the Solar System attacks, we team up with the Martians.
- If your dad spit on the sidewalk, you wouldn't march down and tell the authorities about that. That would be bizarre.
- Zeus obviously comes from a dysfunctional family... It was prophesised that one of his [Cronos'] children would overthrow him, so he did what any parent would do. He ate his own children.
- [On ethics] WWZD - What Would Zeus Do? That is the question.
- [On early dismissal] I'm sending you into the sunlight 10 minutes early.
- They behave according to irrationality (irrationally)
- You just have to keep your imagination open (be imaginative)
- Most people without a cell phone are the professors. They are always tied to the desk... They work 7/24 (Most professors do not have cell phones, their desks, 24/7)
- As you can see in bungalow (Bangalore)
- Now it's just so prevailing (prevalent)
- She just quitted her job (quit)
- The ong'line way to purchase things (online)
- The very best get cheaper each year (gets)
- How many of you pay for you Acrobat Reader? Photoshop? It's free. (Adobe Photoshop costs a bomb. It's free only if it's pirated)
- I just want to get you excited about Economics, because it can really be applied to many areas.
- She scares me a little - she keeps laughing. You better come see me... Did that answer your question, laughing woman?
- They don't normally allow themselves to be hailed into court (hauled)
- [On Dale Carnegie] Thank god that he realised that philosophy was useless, and wrote the book that he did and made a lot of money.
- You read 10 pages of Plato like you were reading Harry Potter, then you think: What did I just read?... This happens to me too when I read Plato too late at night... You wipe your mind clean. There are other ways to wipe your mind clean. You can play video games - it's a lot more fun.
- [On Emile Durkheim] Please, it's 'Emile'. Don't tell me 'Emily'.
- You don't wear clothes, the little men in uniforms come with the net and take you away.
- [On University Students being socialists by definition] Now you can go home and tell your mother: 'Guess what? My lecturer told me I was a socialist.' Then I'll get this collection of emails in the morning.
- [On our roles if we subscribe to Goffman's Dramaturgical Analysis] You've got to sit there and pretend you look interested. You've got to laugh at my jokes.
- [On a possible interpretation of the wedding ring] The days of slavery, when you're someone else's property.
- [On the short mid-lecture break] You had a big long break the last time. That's enough to last for the next 4 lectures.
- A friend of mine dropped by the other day. 'Oh, I was touched by god.' 'Really? What did he look like?'
- [On the limits of using common sense] Common sense told us that... prostitutes really enjoyed their jobs.
- Any upper-class people here? They're all off at UCLA and Stanford.
- [On spurious correlation] We know that in Singapore, the shorter people's pants, the more bubble tea they drink... It's statistically proven. (because in hot weather people drink more)
- [On the advantages of questionnaires] You can't go and ask people that: 'Hi, I'm your professor. Do you do illegal drugs?'
- Maybe you mailed out a questionnaire on women's sexuality, and the men's soccer team got hold of it. *flighty voice* 'Oh ho, all the time.'
- [End of lecture buzzer sounds] Don't pay attention to that.
- I never listen to my own webcasts because it's too disturbing.
- [On priests having the power to influence gods with sacrifices, prayers, incantations and spells] If you had email, you'd have gotten spam about this sort of offerings, presumably.
- If you're having trouble with your math homework, you could pray to Zeus, and Zeus, no doubt being very good at math, could give you the answer to your problem set (?)
- One of the things that sociology likes to do is screw people's minds (screw with)
- That's what the readings are trying to say, in that fancy spanzy language that they like to use when you go into University, when you go into academia.
- [On the bad old days in Singapore] If people labelled you as a Marxist, you were definitely gone for (done)
- [On changing the world] You can join certain NGOs if you think there are certain grievances [to address]. Or you can spread the gospel to your students at the end of the day.
- [On elastic price elasticity of demand] If the marginal tax rate is 58%, the women: they would rather sit at the cafe and have tea
- footware (footwear) (written)
- [On Peru's poor's low price elasticity of demand for health care] If you increase the price of hospital services, a lot of these people, they would rather die than go to a hospital.
- I believe you can measure you'tears (utils)
- How are you going to decide how many units of babies to consume? (produce)
- If the government just fly a helicopter, and drop money from the helicopter, you can pick some up and spend [it] (flies, drops) (?)
- [End of lecture bell sounds at 5:45pm] Are you rushing for another class? [Many people: Yes] Are you sure?
- The fifth floor of AS3. Ah, and there's a nice young lady named Belle behind a mysteriously thick glass shield. They remade our office and it looks like a bank. I don't know why anyone thinks they would want to hold up a philosophy office, we don't have anything there. We have nothing of value, I don't know why anyone would want to rob us.
- You can argue with people whether it's a heresy or not, but most things have.
- Socrates: we know this guy by now, he's a joker.
- That's what sophists do. They make you pay money to hang around with them and listen to them talk. It's nice work if you can get it.
- That is: 'Gosh, I'm dumb. Hur hur hur.' Socrates is playing his dummy role the way he always does, just trying to get the other to lead with his, fist and knock him down (on and then use his fist)
- [On his younger days at Taekwondo] His name was Master Lee, I think all Taekwondo Masters are [so named]
- [On the Greek 'arete'] If you say things like: be excellent to each other, then that's like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
- You can modular it (modulus)
- I was forgetting all my physics for a moment; I've got a cold in my head.
- Nominalism. You seem to have nominalist instincts. Unfortunately, I assigned you to read Plato.
- How much time do we have? Probably none... I've made a big mess... Every week will be me spiralling into the mysteries of the universe.
- [On holding the mic instead of clipping it to his shirt] I'll be a pop star instead. [When] You get closer to the mic, you get the 'real' feeling.
- [On the Maldives] You can ge a daytrip around the Donis [traditional boats], which sounds very good.
- [On Rajiv Gandhi in Sri lanka] One of the members of the Guard of Honour does something that Guards of Honour aren't supposed to do. He picks up his rifle and hits the Indian Prime Minister.
- When I was doing my doctoral work... Changes in ritual behavior during funerals. I went to the highlands of Sulawesi... and I went to a lot of funerals. Not my own.
- [On a sociological study] He was a reporter. There was a devil-worshipping cult in California - where else?... He was so successful [in infiltrating it] that they made him vice-devil.
- [On breaking the law while doing sociological studies] If I get any more phone calls from the neighbourhood police precinct: 'Oh, this student is in your class...' 'I don't know him'
- [On the Zimbardo Prison and Milgram Shock Experiments] Because of this, we don't do experiments anymore. Wouldn't it be fun to do this?
- [On Sociological Experiments] We could take a bunch of babies, and leave them on a desert island, and see what happens.
- [On Sociological Experiments] If you have a set place at the table, sit where your father sits.
- [On Sociological Experiments] If you get on an elevator, and there's only one other person, you stand in opposite corners... Go and stand next to them. Be careful, if it's late at night they may think you're a masher (?)
- [Deep, booming voice] Alright. I'll use the voice if you're not quiet.
- A few years ago, my mother-in-law, a very sweet lady from Oregon... went to a seafood restaurant, and all they had were squat toilets. It was a good experience for her. Cultural highlights. She still talks about that.
- We found this plethoria of fishing objects (plethora)
- Look: my ten dollar bill. It says 'ten dollars', has red ink... 'this note is legal tender'... Unfortunately no one agrees that the bills issued by the Monetary Authority of Todd have value.
- A few years ago, many people in Singapore would have been offended by the thought of having sex before marriage. A lot of you probably do, looking at the Durex sales down at 7-11.
- When I'm in Malaysia, my Singaporean friends will go: 'Those Malaysians are so lazy. All they know how to do is relax in their cam'poh'ng.' When I'm in Malaysia, my Malaysian friends will go: 'Those Singaporeans. They work work work work work.' (Kampongs)
- [On out of date practice papers] Some day, when I'm locked in a room with nothing but a computer, maybe I'll take the time to correct all this, but it's just too boring for me to do it.
- There are a lot of practice questions on my site. You can do them till your eyeballs fall off... Of course, they're not very fun to do, just between you and me, really.
- [On encountering the right MCQ answer] Ah, that sounds really good. We'll put a little happy face by that one and go on and see whether any, ah, other happy faces compete with it.
- Well. That's just a meaningless [answer]. I obviously get... answers like 'e' are nonsense because I get bored by the time I get to 'e'. And I'm so bored by my own question that I just come up with something like that, so.
- [On MCQs on the consistency of statements with the passage] Socrates is gay. Good, that's consistent. That's just the sort of thing I might do, to upset people.
- [On his cold] I'm really getting a low voice. Wow.
- [On Greek comedy] There's really nothing in them but fart jokes.
- Human beings like to collect action figures. It's a cultural universal.
- [On not being able to find something if you don't know what it looks like] Like if I ask you to look for the Agabagga in this room.
- The Pythagoreans... the strangest religion ever to exist in the world. They were people who worshipped numbers. They were like people in a Star Trek episode.
- [On a character in Ted Chiang's 'Division by Zero' who proves that 0 = 1] She goes a little bit mad at the end of the story.
- You've all done so much maths that you can't possibly be astonished anymore... Cast your mind back to when you were a child, and might have been astonished by it.
- You could figure out the number of inches to the sun... I knew how many miles it was. I learnt to multiply... I didn't know about significant digits at the time, so I got the wrong answer.
- I'm actually doing my best to recreate the wonder of mathematics because we've all lost if after so many years.
- Suppose you were siting there playing a chess game, and someone looked over your shoulder. 'Hey, you've just created a better DVD player'. Maths is like that. It's scribbles on paper.
- The simple version is that the Pythagoreans believed that they were living in the Matrix. I love saying this.
- [On the Meno] Socrates gives Euthyphro a theory of perception (Meno)
- [On Gorgias] It's such a cool word... I'll give a speech and use 'effluvium' and people will think I'm smart.
- I'm going to divide the class into groups of 3. 8 people per group. (3)
- [On South Asia] Did you read the readings? No... Yes right? So how come everyone is like 'mujar', 'boogar'?
- You all don't remember [what state seceded from Bangladesh in a 1971 civil war]. Someone said [the videos viewed during lectures were] 'heart-wrenching'. You only remember the woman singing [the song of sorrow].
- At higher levels, you will use mathematics to prove [this]. For now, just trust me. It is correct.
- You can use your medit save (Medisave)
- [On the Baby Bonus] Is it possible to un-DINK the person? (couple)
- It's all hundreds dollar note (hundred dollar notes)
- This is for flate (freight)
- [On doing the hard paper topic] Courage is a philosophical virtue
- [On doing the easy paper topic] Go and do it, finish it, and go and play video games, while your neighbour is sweating it out over the family
- Impromptu questions. You answer questions that are not in the tutorial, you get M&Ms. It works.
- I'm a bit old, so when I hear SMS, I lose concentration.
- I really enjoy Economics. I think it's the best subject in the world. Obviously: I'm doing my PhD in economics
- I have been tasked by Professor *** to enthuse you guys [about Economics].
- [Student on Opportunity Cost: Why is it that you don't consider the amount the person has to pay for University fees?] Because it [this module] is EC1101E.
- 'Use the supply and demand model to explain what happens to the equilibrium price and equilibrium quantity for prata in the following cases.' You guys know what prata is?
- [On the Nayar exception] They stay together for 3 days. During the 3 days, you can play masak masak [Literal translation: Play at cooking. More general translation: Play around], whatever.
- [On the Nayar exception] She doesn't have to have sex with her husband. Come on, she's 7!
- [On his 'wife'] Marry her - 14 years. See? A bit sian. (I've married her for)
- PhD right? Permanent head damage. Tao pai liao. Tao pai liaon [Translation: The head is spoilt]
- You cannot say: 'Aiyoh, nice breasts. Marry lah.' You cannot say that, unfortunately.
- [On some bad joke about love birds] You tell that to the girl you're dating, you get a swollen forehead, or other parts. Girls these days are very powerful. Ok lah, stop that [making bad jokes]
- I didn't know that, you know. Singapore men go for flirtatious women. In that case, I should have quite a good chance.
- What's that about peeling prawns? I came back to Singapore and everyone was talking about peeling prawns for men... Maybe it's sexy.
- [On arranged marriage] Children are stupid. You leave it to them, they come back with any Tom, Dick or Harry. [Realises one of the TAs is named 'Harry'] Cannot cannot! Handsome harry. [Her name], [her name].
- I was walking, walking along Boat Quay. And she emerged. My Indian Goddess... She said she was vegetarian, good right? Cheap... She only want hydrophonic vegetables! (wanted)
- I am quite free, nothing to do, get married lah. Quite cute. Koochee, koochee [tickles "wife"'s cheeks]
- ***, wherefore art thou? [Searching look] (where)
- Should she marry me? [Everyone: Nooooo...] You all [are] so cruel. Mid-term test you all die already. (You all will die for the mid-term test)
- [On his 'wife'] I treated her like a queen and like a fine wine, she aged with time. Unfortunately I don't like wine, I like grape juice.
- [On polygyny] You're probably wondering about the sleeping arrangement. We're not into the whole orgy thing... Day 1, he goes to her, he doesn't get satisfied. Day 2, he goes to me, he gets really tired. Day 3, he goes to her [a third wife], to cool down.
- Polygyny is the best form of marriage... Do you know that at one time, Lee Kuan Yew wanted to make it legal in Singapore?
- Time for some girl power. [Whoops from girls in audience] Let me tell you about the best form of marriage: polyandry.
- [On how Singaporean men propose] 'Hey, honey, shall we go register for a HDB flat?' So romantic right.
- [On bride price] Someone in the village wanted to marry me. Then they heard: PhD from Harvard. Oh my god, cannot afford... Me: PhD from Harvard. But once she opens her mouth, the price goes down. [You] Must be quiet [to fetch a high bride price].
- You can't have sex with everybody and anybody right? That's a wild dream everybody has.
- [On herself] When you get home, you complain. Call the provost. 'She said she was Harvard-trained. How boring. Get her out.' Thank god. [I'm going to] Yale.
- One of my friends, he tried a breaching experiment. Not in the supermarket, but in the NUS canteen. He sat next to this girl... To make it worse, he asked: 'Can I try your food?'
- My research, for example, when I did drugs. Sorry, when I researched drugs.
- Because it was a dance drug, designer drug. I had to go out, party, stay up late. [Someone: Tough job]
- How many people don't go to McDonalds?... [To a girl] You don't go to McDonalds. [Girl: It's fattening.]
- the sustainance of our daily existence (sustenance)
- [On a study of drug users] Try not to tell people in CNB about this, ok? Especially if you're a government spy.
- [On her forthcoming first webcast lecture] I'm a little bit cameras-shy, I don't know how I will perform.
- You can see me today and tomorrow. If you really like to see me you can see me on the webcast.
- I'm thinking of setting up a... MSN chat. I can chat to you from Canada... I can chat with you if you have problems with your revision... I love technology... I want to make myself younger.
- The slogan for Burger King is: 'It tay'ses better' (just tastes)
- [On output decisions in perfect competition] You're going to enjoy this very much because this is what you see in real life.
- The US Supreme Court is always taking Microsoft to court... they want to break down Microsoft. (Justice Department, up)
- [On word limits] We can't just let everyone start an arms race, and people writing longer papers. That would be bad. (let people)
- I talk so much that I usually give stuff away, so it's wise to play to my weaknesses.
- [On his 3-year-old daughter] The infantile habit of asking 'why'. Lots of philosophers have.
- Actually I've to pause and tell a joke at this point, about my little daughter.
- Here's a quote from another Plato dialogue called 'The Phaedrus'. You're learning that it's probably a dialogue in which Socrates talks to a guy named Phaedrus, and in fact that's what happens.
- [Powerpoint Slide on Socrates' The Republic] I have a friend who left weapons in my car (care)
- [On the composition of the atmosphere of the moons of Saturn, and Astronomy versus Anthropology] You're not tempted to make up an answer: 'Well, it's mostly cheese'.
- People were looking less confused 5 minutes ago, and then I kept talking and now... Maybe I talked too long.
- [On the mystery of Arago's Disc] I won't ask you immediately because I have a feeling that you might know, so let's keep the puzzle going.
- [On speaking up in class] The main thing is that not every question is a trick question.
- Cults are like family... Whatever you may say about cults, they are like families.
- [On Charisma being the basis of power] If it were the only thing, then how come George Bush is President? In his case, it probably isn't knowledge either.
- Don't you just love the smell of burning Sumatra rainforest? *sniffs* Ahh!
- Sir, Sir - the one who is closing your eyes... Wake up now (his)
- When I first came to NUS [I was amazed by how many regulations there were and] how often these regulations changed. I swore the University employed one person whose job it was to come up with a new rule everyday. It was his job to come up with a new rule everyday, or he wouldn't get his Christmas bonus.
- Give one example of state terror. [Student: The Internal Security Act] It terrorises you.
- Are there any questions up to now? I would be surprised if there were any, because I've been so clear.
- You don't have to watch Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 to know that... What's not in the public record is what George Bush did when he was in the Air National Guard.
- You're under arrest. Seriously, you're under arrest... Today it's illegal to be, wearing black pants. *realises he's wearing black pants*
- [On a reporter's opinion on why no one in Singapore protested the Iraq War] She was going to write that Singaporeans only care about things like shopping and bartop dancing.
- Everyone should come to this class wearing white shirts. Then I can't pick on you.
- If any lecturer comes up to you in the classroom and tells you: 'I am the repository of all wisdom and knowledge', you should tell him to retire.
- The bourgeoisie are an instrument of the state. I need to practise my French here. The bourgeoisie.
- The last time I met someone who claimed to be a [fascist] was a man I met in a bar in Rome... I was 2 at the time. I'm so young.
- What are you laughing about? *laughs weirdly* It's okay, you can laugh.
- [On plagiarism and morality] Forget about morality... Even if you're an evil person. You'll get an F.
- [On paraphrasing material from the lecture] It's no surprise to your tutor if your paper bears evidence that you've been to lecture. You don't need to footnote it.
- I got a whole slew of emails late last night and early this morning. It seems that some people were up at 3 writing emails to me.
- [On being closed for consultation till 4pm] Students always do their work at the last minute. Professors always do their work at the last minute.
- [On a theory about lying] It's not completely wrong. John Mearsheimer is too smart to believe in something completely wrong. I've met him and I know that to be a fact.
- In the past, err, we only have one cellphone operator, which is Singtel right? Err, remember the story that I told you that in those days, y'know, if you can afford a handphone you got to announce it to the whole world that you have one. So when you walk into a restaurant with your cellphone, you saw your friend, instead of saying hi you dial his number, so everybody will look at both of you because both of you own a cellphone (had, was, could, had, had, walked, and you, would dial, would, owned)
- Well, I will just stop here and you can take a. Why don't we just continue? Is that ok? *rumbles of
discontent* How about you just stretch for two minutes, and then we continue?
- Have you watched the movie - The Beautiful Mind? (A)
- [On game theory] Jack and Jill, they didn't go up the hill. They went to steal a car.

--- NUS Staff (first half of semester, before mid-semester break)

 

- Before the presentation we'll spend half an hour doing some wacky stuff.
- You're liable for the whales (wills)
- [On single parent families and dysfunctional children] Classic example is myself... Luckily I didn't come out a criminal.
- I'll give a disclaimer: I'm not anti-PAP or anti-State... You are being socialised into [believing in the ideal of] a multi-racial nuclear family. You look at your comprehension[s], you look at your essays, you have your Ali, you have your Mei-ling... A lot of state ideology is transmitted through Civics and Moral Education... 'Regardless of race, language or religion'. Based on gender you get discriminated. Based on class you get discriminated. Meritocracy is a farce.
- [On interviews on political socialisation in Singapore] One of them even admitted to being brainwashed by the PAP.
- History... Singapore is a nation which has gone through very tough times, race riots... a harmonious
society today... During the race riots a very small proportion of people were racist. A lot of people helped people of other races out... Again let me re-iterate. I'm not anti-PAP.
- If you can't remember my name, at least remember my surname. Nowadays students can't even remember their lecturers' names.
- Economics is a boring subject and economic activity is boring. But we all got to do it. (have)
- Who declares it a recession? Not the US President. The US President knows nuts about economics. Not just the current President, the past presidents as well... A panel of respected macro-economists [declares it a recession]. Thank god.
- [On what Socrates says versus what he's thinking] He could be secretly planning to kill Euthyphro all this
while
- I don't know what the answer is. I forgot to look at the key this morning before coming in. But it sounds
good, so let's flag it and move on.
- [On a question and one answer about women being submissive to their husbands] Not to say I try to
disadvantage the ladies by getting them all annoyed by this question.
- [On an induction coil - a rod which emits electric arcs] This is a nice device I use to torture students with (I)
- This was one of the evidences to deduce the electron (pieces of evidence from which the existence of the electron was deduced)
- Today we'll be doing Tutorial 3... All of you guys [are] sleeping right? Today is Tutorial 2.
- [On buffets] We'd eat until the restaurant closed down. It happened: this Tim Sum buffet... The next day they stopped it.
- [On a Brazillian all-you-can-eat] If you go there and you don't eat $40 worth, which is what girls do.
- Good morning everybody. [{Female} Student in middle, in a bright voice: Good morning! *waves hand*]
- [On child labour and child abuse in India] You have to explain these things. Not like 'this is bad' or 'Indian culture is bad'
- Bear the burnt of domination and discrimination (brunt)
- gender in'ekwairlity (equality)
- South Asia is a mo'sar'ik of cultures (mosaic)
- I got too many slides as usual, but I did a smart thing for once. I made the important ones blue, so you can sort of fade out and when the screen turns blue, see whether you can train yourselves to wake up again.
- What is knowledge?... You might have a Socratic sort of investigation. I could say: 'Students, what is knowledge? And then you could say some things and I could try to make you look like fools in front of your friends and drawing contradictions from the things you say, and we might make some progress that way.
- Here's a smartass quote by Ernest Rutherford, but famous physicists are allowed to be snarky sometimes. 'In science there is only physics. Everything else is stamp collecting.' Now I don't know exactly what he meant by that. Maybe he thinks stamp collecting is wonderful and there's some complex irony going on here.
- Here's a quote from our Platonic dialogue, the Meno. This is from the end. By this point you were probably nodding off whe nyou read so maybe you don't remember it so well.
- Wow, there's a bird in here. Now that's an unusual. Gosh. I feel a little sorry for it. There's not really a lot I can do for it though... I can see whether I can think of an epistemological example to use on the basis of the bird.
- [On the lecture's end] That's the end of my show for today.
- [Someone on pictures of pioneers in Electro-magnetic Induction: All old men] [Someone else: He's quite handsome] Right. That's another session we're gonna have. Electro-magnetic idols.
- [On a student's explanation for the direction of electro-magnetically induced current] You can see it in both ways. In terms of Lenz's Law or [Student: My law]
- [On shorting an anmeter by connecting it to the output of a transformer] If any smoke goes off, if anything blows up - this is your experiment.
- Is that all? The class seems to be getting smaller and smaller... Friday afternoon: they go to Orchard for shopping. Thank you for coming.
- Toilet paper is a favourite consumption good of Singaporeans. When the cars come from JB, when they open the boots at Customs - rolls and rolls of toilet paper.
- Actually I dub it very much (doubt)
- There are a lot of good jokes about economists on the net... You type 'resources for Economists'... One of the links has a lot of jokes there.
- The money supply keeps increasing. The government prints money every year. But bank robberies are falling. We're very well-run.
- [On German hyper-inflation] In one week the value of your money has shrunk by 3 times. That is incredulous (incredible)
- [On German hyper-inflation] Already I see people dozing off, so I'm going to help them doze off further by telling them this grandfather story.
- Treaty of Ver'siles (Versailles)
- In Singapore, we don't have many seasons. I guess it's autumn out there. I go out: it looks like autumn.
- Cyclical [Pronounced as: sai'clical] unemployment. For years, people have been trying to convince me that it's pronounced 'cyclical' [Pronounced as: si'clical] unemployment. I'm not convinced. One day I'll go down to the British Council to find out how it's pronounced. They have tutors there who teach you how to speak the Queen's English, according to the bus ads.
- [On the efficiency wage] Even if you are in the central tower, you don't know what they are doing. They might be playing mahjong in the cockpit. You pay them very high wages to stop them from playing mahjong in the cockpit. If they are caught playing mahjong in the cockpit, you sack them straightaway.
- I was obviously overconfident when I wrote this paper. I used 'obviously' all the time. Probably because I knew no one would grade me on this.
- [On obtuse marking] You think: I went to the trouble of writing this wretched thing. You should at least read it.
- After your 10th or 12th paper on the Euthyphro, you start to feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day... You have another cup of coffee, you walk around the house, you surf the web. You go back.... 'I can't take another 10 or 12 of these'
- You may, sort of, have read Asterisk in your childhood (Asterix)
- degradation of en'vih'romental resources (environmental)
- they'll overflood (overflow)
- You can't have your cake and eat it all the time
- The essence of the di'lemma that development poses in this context (dilemma)
- [On class] A doctor or an engineer is higher than a road sweeper. A lecturer is slightly higher than a road sweeper.
- [On George Bush] When I talk to Americans, they wonder where this guy got his Texan accent
- The gentleman over there. You look like you know a lot about sociology. [Me: Social inequalities are not the result of individual failings, but of social trends and forces]... Did you take sociology before? *I shake my head* Not bad for a freshman
- You can't not allow the less talented to have sex. That's cruel and unusual punishment, isn't it?
- [Makes jibe at student who could not hear him when he strode to the back of the LT and spoke without a mic] I'll use the microphone now, for the hard of hearing. *picks up USB cable and speaks into it* *Uproarious laughter from audience* That was deliberate.
- The implications [of high inequality]: low social solidarity. That's why they need to make up a new national day song every year.
- Obviously there's an individual flailing as well (failing)
- It is possible that the citizens of the society have moved up. They don't do the crap jobs anymoe - don't mind my French.
- Your parents may have told you that their parents used to go home for a nap in the afternoon. Can't do that anymore. I tried to do that, I tried to take a nap in the office. Don't tell anyone.
- Internet file swear'pers (swappers)
- Science used to be called 'Natural Philosophy'. Science used to be a part of our department, but then it grew up and left home.
- [On science in Erasmus' day] This is why they used to call it philosophy, natural philosophy, because they never got anywhere with it.
- I used to teach a different Descartes text. He says he is a pilot in a ship. A lot of people read it as 'pirate'. They imagined there was a pirate inside of him saying 'Arr, arr. I am Descartes'
- Some Muslims I talk to: 'I just don't eat pork. I eat everything else'... People still rationalise to themselves that they are believers of a certain religion
- [On determining potential output] That's one way to solve problems in economics. If you can't solve something, you call it by a nice name and put it aside for the time being.
- If I hear someone pronounce it as 'kee'nees' I will strangle him or her. It drives me up the wall... Why do I get so worked up about it? Keynes was the founder of macro-economics. If you're studying macro-economics you should be able to pronounce his name.
- When I was an undergrad like you I used to spend my holidays reading Karl Marx... Marx is very difficult to read. Most people read Karl Marx in jail... no one spends their holidays reading Karl Marx.
- [On Singapore's disposable income figures] The Department of Statistics refused to release it.I've been begging for it for years, but they refuse to give it to me. They say it's confidential. A lot of things are confidential in Singapore to bureaucrats. (are made, by)
- That's the ad hon reason (hoc)
- Politicians usually don't push the economy into recession unless they get tired of office, [and] they want to resign.
- Singaporeans treat the stock market as a casino. Why do they treat it as a casino? Because they get investment tips from their hairstylist instead of their investment advisor.
- Businessmen are possessed by animal spirits, they're like ghosts. One animal spirit possesses them... another animal spirit possesses them.
- Solutions [to the tutorial] are out? On the [IVLE] workbin? Really ah? You can go now. No, no! After attendance [taking]
- [On Nash equilibrium] It's okay if you don't understand, because it took me quite long. It took me a few years.
- [On 'varnashramadharma'] People start counting letters there, so yes: there are many letters
- Sociology is concerned with empirical faith (facts)
- [On Toraja funeral rites] If you do sociology long enough, you get to go off. Meet wacky people.
- [On Marx's most famous quote] I guess he hadn't heard about TV yet.
- [On accurate inflation forecasts] This is the job of professional forecasters, of which I'm one actually. Unfortunately. Don't ask me about my forecast record.
- the de fuck'to central bank (facto)
- The month of October brings a whole spade of Nobel Prizes (spate)
- You're more interested to watch Singapore Idol than finding out who won the Nobel Prize (in watching)
- John Taylor is actually quite famous. He could be the next Chairman of the Federal Reserve. Which is why you should buy his textbook now. Next time, when he becomes the second most powerful man in the US, you can say you used his textbook in your undergrad days
- Someone who goes for peace, we call him a doh've (dove)
- Philosophy is so full of questions that are so broad that they are in effect rhetorical. You ask: 'What is truth? What, in effect, do I know?' Are there any answers to these questions? Now, those can be - you can mean them seriously, or you can just say them as a way of saying: 'Ah... Philosophy', in just the vaguest, cloudiest way. And in your paper your mind is often in a vague, cloudy state and so you're often in a kinda: 'Ah... what is truth?' kind of mood, but don't write questions like that in your paper.
- [On Jackson Pollock] He's a guy who dribbles paint.
- 'The sudden appearance of this, of this list poses a whole host of puzzles and questions which the First Meditation does not address, and which this essay cannot address.' Ah, my favourite trick, saying you're not gonna do things.
- 'Of course, as this may be wrong, but it is not within the scope of this paper to consider mistakes I may have made in this paper'... No no no. You can't say that, or you can't say, 'Of course, if this is a misreading of Descartes then all of the things that I've said may be lies.' End. No.
- [On his dummy paper] If someone did write this paper they'd get a very high grade for it, if I do say so myself.
- Okay. I'll just read this real quick. Those who are in desperate need to go may file out in an orderly fashion.
- [On essay topics] They look hard, but they're really easy. Well, they're not really easy. They're just moderately hard.
- There's one guy who asked about question 3. He's not here today. Maybe he decided to sleep in. He was so terrifed by the question.
- You may think I'm teaching you an arcane skill. How to read 19th Century English. All the people who wrote like this are dead. You don't have to talk to them ever again.
- Never mind if it's not right. This is philosophy. We don't deal with facts here. Really.
- [On Victorian morality] This sounds implausible to me. That it was too lascivious to see sexy piano legs.
- In work, sometimes we feel happy. Sometimes we feel unhappy. Sometimes we feel very stretchful (stressful)
- inter actions (interactions)
- Children look up in you (to)
- our maining in life (meaning)
- no patent (pattern)
- Leisure is important because we want to do what we want to enjoy (enjoy)
- car'shiun is losing (calcium is being lost)
- special orientation (spatial)
- [On notes] When I say 'read at your leisure time' you read at your leisure time. After you get your degree then you read it.
- 'Ex gratia'. Out of the goodness of my heart. If an insurer tells you that, you tell them: 'Don't bullshit me'... Nowadays the fine print is getting smaller and smaller... Don't accept ex gratia payments.
- cut the Guardian Knot (Gordion)
- The lady who is texting - are you ready? Unless you are texting my lecture.
- [On Thornton vs Shoe Lae Parking's convoluted exception clause] If you, who have had the benefit of a good quality education, cannot understand it in one reading, how do you expect the housewife?... By the time you read this, you'd say 'it doesn't matter'. Let the building collapse... [Lord] Denning [the judge]... double first in mathematics. He must have cried first. Denning must have cried first.
- Never fly on the 31st of December anytime. Because most pilots in the Western World are drunk.
- [On a picture of the Creation of Man] Can you see? [Everyone: No] Good. It's a picture of naked people. I don't want you to see too much.
- [On the story of Adam and Eve and the latter pressurising the former] This is like the story of Singapore men and their women.
- [During a lecture on food] What are the 5 Cs? [Someone: Food.] Food? Food begins with an F!
- Before I left [Singapore]: Huh! McDonalds. The first time I landed in the States, I was hungry... There was Chinese food, there was Indian food, there was Japanese food... but I walked into McDonalds. That's the lesson in life - don't be arrogant.
- It became a symbol of high'jair'nic food (hygienic)
- **** ****, sorry, Professor ****. *laughs from students* He's a colleague, so I can call him by his first name.
- [On urine lassi] Here's how you cook it. [A] Recipe, if you want to take it down.
- [On pictures of weird and potentially disturbing foods] Shall I show you more pictures? [Everyone: Yes!] You guys, you are sick!
- [On tigers' penises] Guys, it's an aphrodisiac. You consume penis, because you think it will give you a better penis. (penises)
- [Quoting a Filipino taxi driver on eating half developed chicks] Everytime I make love to my wife I eat balut. I have 5 children. My wife is pregnant with the sixth
- The more I talk, the more I realise I'm not gonna get through my slides today, but that's alright.
- [On turning off cellular phones during lectures and the silencing of discussion being an assumption of infallibility] Maybe my friend is calling to tell me something about Mill that *** [the lecturer's name] will never realise in a million years, because *** is an idiot.
- I'm probably not the first person to notice this. It's really insulting to my intelligence that Bill Gates thinks I need a talking paperclip to jolly me along... When I look at my computer I see a green landscape. Blue skies. Are they trying to trick me into thinking I'm looking out of a window?
- Gabriel, what's your sex? [Me: Male] Why? [Me: Because that's what society decrees] What do you have that makes society say so? [Me: Because I possess *laughs from class* Because I possess male primary sexual characteristics] So diplomatic.- [Student on female sexual characteristics: Breasts] What if someone comes up to you and it's not evident?
- *** is quite big-sized. When you look at him... [Someone: Breasts]
- [Someone on female characteristics: Excessive hand gestures] I do that sometimes.
- When I go around Geylang - for research, okay, not for recreational purposes
- [On female behavior] That women are supposed to sit with their legs crossed. I see a lot of male lecturers who do that.
- I think a lot of people are obsessed with that in Singapore. Whether a person is gay or lesbian.
- [On gender socialisation] What she assigned to us was to have the men in the class perform as a woman. Wear a dress, perform the hand gestures... They taught us how to walk. (pretend to be women)
- In other monkey tribes. Monkey societies. [I've been doing] Too much sociology.
- Whatever that is deseminated to us (disseminated)
- [On gender stereotypes] For every baby a man produces, he wastes 1 trillion sperm. A women wastes 200 eggs. When a guy masturbates - how? That is not seen as wasteful. That is a learning process.
- The sperm is still being deseminated as the aggressor (portrayed)
- Sometimes, reading through female magazines, for research, not for leisure
- How many races are there in Singapore? [Me: Four] What are they? [Me: Chinese, Malay, Indian and Others] Very good.
- The infamous 'others'. If you're not CMI, you are 'others'.
- You may see me very passionate, because this is one of my favourite fields to talk about - race and gender. (me becoming)
- [On bones in a room in Rwanda] These are not vegetablrs. These are human bones.
- [On Sociology and alternate perspectives] All of us are here, in the end, to make a difference. I sound like a politician.
- [On a very mathematical model of price-wage increases] If you go on to third and fourth year, they might show you the model. So that's an incentive to do third year economics.
- We are back in square one (to)
- After you've done Economics you'll come out into the world as economically literate students, and we'll be very proud of you. Singapore needs more economically literate students so we can carry out sensible policy discussions.
- Singapore has one of the most volatile economies in the world. In 1999, GDP growth was 10.1%. In 2001 - The recession, it was negative 2%. The GDP spread was 12%. That is a world record. Singaporeans like to boast that they are number 1 in the world. You don't see this reported in the press.
- [On useless construction] I see them digging the roads here and then patching them up. Maybe they're following Keynesian theories... It's marvelous. Singapore is an example of [implementing] Keynesian remedies.
- The recession is elevated (alleviated)
- [On supply shocks] Unless OPEC can engineer a 5% increase [in oil prices] every year. But they won't dare to do that. The whole world will bomb them, they'll be invaded by the USA. Not just the USA. All the non-OPEC countries.
- Apart from the fact that I can't shut up, and go through life talking and generating all this verbiage.
- Win friends and influence graders. Write clearly.
- Mill and Berlin are very clear. Well, no. They're clear to me because I've read them a million times.
- [On the Hotel New World disaster] We had to sue the owner of the hotel. Of course, the owner also died. He was found... in that car park.
- Celebrating the Pondicherry polis... It says 'vive la Pondich?ry Police', which is not very grammatical French, but it is French after all. (police)
- Of course there's the eternal conundrum - what race does Michael Jackson belong to?
- [On what country the Andaman Islands belong to] I'll give you a clue. It's a very big country. It's not Singapore.
- There are often people walking around in the corridor whom I think are Chinese or Malay, but they have blond hair... Vikings.
- [On flying from Singapore to the USA] Your racial category changes simply because you took a bloody plane.
- My aim is to offend at least 2 people every lecture... I want to offend at least 10% of the people every lecture... or at least to get 10% of the people thinking about things that they've never thought about before.
- Race, ethnicity - questionable. Racial purity - garbage.
- [On an essay topic about coming up with a general moral principle] One of the reasons I gave you that was to impress on you how difficult it is, so that when you came to read Mill you's feel sorry for the guy.
- I made this passage into an MCQ passage for the exam last semester and people died like flies because they couldn't figure out what it meant.
- [On social mandates] Why don't you get up and come to school dressed like a, like a Confucian scholar with one of those winged gauze hats? Why do you want to look like other people?
- Why does the exception prove the rule? You should try it out in your lab sometime. You get a result - 'this is the exception that proves the rule'. No no no no no. That's not how it works.
- If your friend is deluded and thinks that all Adam Sandler movies are great, you are right to take him aside and say: Look, there's other things. There're much better things out there. Things you should not do: You shouldn't burn his Adam Sandler video collection. You shouldn't force him not to go to any more Adam Sandler movies (there're)
- If you want to do an MBA, I wish you good luck because there are lots of people walking down the streets with MBAs and no jobs.
- Now I've double masters. I am doing my third. I think it is very hard to take me on.
- 'Not during'. You see: famous legal drafting. Always drafting in the negative. Why do you start by saying 'not during', when you can simply say 'during the term'? But you must put it in the negative so ordinary people don't understand. *laughs from audience* Then lawyers become very important people.
- I normally don't give revision lectures, do you're lucky. This year I'm in a compassionate mood.
- [On Open Economy Macroeconomics] Taylor is an American. He writes for an American audience and all they care about is whether Bush or Kerry wins, not about Singapore.
- If you can find a demand curve in Economics that is upward sloping, let me know.
- The government doesn't care about the supply of apples. Sometimes it cares about the price of eggs. If not housewives will complain.
- It is one of the most boring questions in economics. I get very irritated when, during lunch at the arts canteen, one of my colleagues asks me... where do you think the Sing dollar is heading?... They want to go on holiday. Send their kids overseas for university.
- [If] you don't believe me - when you graduate, you go and become a foreign exchange trader. Either you earn a lot of money or you get your fingers burnt and jump down from a tall building in Shenton Way.
- You can't teach, and you can't add value to law students much, because they come into law faculty thinking they know everything.
- The university also insists that you have a test. What they call a 'quiz'. I don't like the word.
- Unfortunately we will not be doing the law of defamation. It is also a tort. Although there are lots of interesting cases. As you know Singapore is the leading country in the law of defamation in the common law world. And it's one of my areas of forte. But I won't be doing that, because I think out of this whole class probably 2 or 3 of you might become a Minister of State or a Minister. And maybe Prime Minister, and then you'll be interested in the law of defamation. The rest of you, I don't think you'll be interested. (fortes)
- I would like to appeal to all my students, scholarship students from India. Because historical records show, not all of them - many of them are very good - but some of them only turn up for my last revision lecture... I think you should attend even if it means that you've had a very late Friday night. Just come here, sit down and have a good snooze, because something that I say will get in there. Because I want to avoid embarassing you on the last day... Why is it that I can spot you? It's very difficult to remember the non-Chinese, so I may not recognise if you came or not... But Indian faces, I can remember. (even if, non-Indians)
- Nowadays when they appear in court... the young magistrates or districtor judges actually pull out, I don't know whether it's a black book or a yellow book, they maintain a book where they have all these sentences decided by the Chief Justice, so they say: oh this is a molest of the shoulder. 2 years, 4 strokes. He doesn't even think! *laughs from audience* There's no more the thinking process, there's no more judicial discretion because he feels bound.
- [On sentencing] He doesn't even have the strength of heart to raise his head and look at the accused person. Not all of them lah, some of them, to be able to say: I am now exercising my discretion, but he doesn't even say. He just looks down, because he's reading his book, and he says: I am, this is a very sad case... a very sad case, but what has been done is a very serious offence - he has to say something right? Otherwise *laughs from audience* otherwise why do you pay him for?... 'In spite of the excellent mitigation plea, unfortunately, I am bound by the benchmark', and these are the words... He, in his heart, wants to impose a sentence of 1 year, 2 strokes, but the CJ has said: molest of the shoulder, doesn't matter whether it's 12 year old or 40 years old, makes no difference. Remember, judges. It is 2 years, 4 strokes. Doesn't matter whether it was because, heavy rain, you had to put your hand on her, on the other lady's shoulder, all this is immaterial... I'm told that they have every different part of the body all listed out... The idea is you administer the criminal justice system, the rule of law, for the public good. That's what the CJ says. Public policy overrides individual rights or liberties. (discretion)
- [To a foreign student on Singapore law] We can't change. Anyway you'll be going back to your country and you'll be happy.
- [On blocking laws] In India, what do they do? They kidnap some of the members of parliament *laughs from audience*
- [On retrospective legislation] There was this famous lawyer. His name was Kenneth Edward Hilborn. He had been practising for many many years in Singapore... Ken Hilborn was quite a maverick, but he knew his law very well... He knew that no legislative sanction by way of [an] Act of Parliament had been passed for the purposes of collecting revenue. So what did he do? He had a sports car, a Volvo sportscar... That fine morning, he drove through the gantry. The police, of course, promptly stopped him. And this happened near the Istana. The gantry near the Istana. The police stopped him and he told the police officer, the policer officer said: I want your particulars. He said: I refuse to give you my particular. He said: No you have infringed the law, you don't have a coupon... Ken Hilborn said, I didn't infringe any law, there is no such law. But of course you don't argue with the police in Singapore. And he was promptly charged in court for the criminal offence of driving without the necessary coupon. And who do you think was his lawyer? The famous barrister JB Jeyaratnam. Jeyaratnam appeared for Mr Hilborn and unfortunately for this particular young magistrate, who had just returned from Cambridge... the case came up behind him... 'Retrospective legislation is bad'. So all this fairly idealistic... as long as there is no law there is no law. [He] Made the decision and said that Ken Hilborn was right and acquitted him... There was an emergency convening of Parliament... In the same day... all three sittings - Parliament sat - first reading, second reading, third reading - the law passed. Retrospective legislation. Law passed to take effect so many months before... What happened to ken Hilborn? He fell out of favour. What happened to Mr Jeyaratnam, you all know.
- Parliament cannot tell the Courts what to do. A Member of Parliament can't call up the Chief Justice and say: I want you to decide the case in this manner. [To someone] You're smiling. Theoretically speaking, they can't. *laughs from audience* But I don't think it happens in Singapore.
- Can I see the class rep please? No class rep? This is the first time I've heard that.
- [On rule-utilitarianism] 'But she's old. I could kill her and distribute her money to the poor'. No! It's not a good idea.
- Now this sign, as you can see, has been cunningly photoshopped by me, but it used to be a real sign.
- [On Socrates] So if you learn one thing in this semester, learn that - this is true science - hemlock is poison. Don't drink hemlock.
- 'We were not suddenly transformed from customers to consumers by willy manufacturers eager to unload a surplus of crappy products'. You're not allowed to say 'crappy' in your paper but this guy said it in his book so I had to say it on my slide. (put)
- [On Isaiah Berlin] He says, there are over 200 senses of liberty used in the history of the subject. I think he's, I think he's bluffing. I don't think you could come up with more than 12.
- The thing that struck me about this passage was that each of our thinkers: Plato, Descartes, Mill, Berlin - would in a sense, would in one sense agree and in another sense disagree with the passage. Very strongly, in fact... and if you can see what that point of agreement and disagreement is, you'll understand why I call my module 'Reason and Persuasion' now. There is a sense that the storyline of the course can be run through the, ah, passage. And so you get a big A plus if you can write a nice summary about why it was so wise of me to call my course 'Reason and Persuasion' because that was the secret logic behind, er, why I picked it. Especially if you're my student, and you thereby flatter my sensibilities.
- I tried looking for anti-Buddhist websites, but I couldn't find [any].
- If you take section 301 for example, can you see how many lines or how many words before a full stop? Do you know why lawyers or legal language was in this fashion and in old form? Because in the olden days lawyers got paid by the number of folios. That means the longer the sentence, the longer the pages, the more the lawyer got paid.
- In 1994 I wrote to the Chief Justice... 'I think we should have a plain english movement for lawyers in Singapore'. I was prepared to receive a very curt letter saying 'Mind your own business'.
- The marriage certificate is a very important document. That's a reason why the Registrar actually gives it to the lady and not to the man. Have you noticed that at the registration ceremony the Registrar very religiously gives it only to the lady, he never ever gives it to the man. Because men hardly keep any documents carefully. And it's more useful and more protective for the woman. Women's charter, don't forget.
- After a few years, he tells you say, let's assume in the 7th or 8th year of marriage he says: 'I think it's about time we have kids' and so on. 'I think you can't continue even though you're now the head of some engineering unit in Motorola. You need to be a good mother. Government encourages all these tax perks, all the tax breaks. Forget your 4 years of engineering study, you are a fanastic student, but nevermind. I think you need to sit at home and procreate'. What a sad indictment, to tell all our ladies to sit at home and procreate.
- The queen ag'ceeded (acceded)
- Unfortunately, gentlemen I have to tell you, that the family court in Singapore... unfortunately it is manned almost exclusively... by female judges, and I don't think you're gonna get very much indulgence... I happened to attend one of the hearings... and there was this case of a husband who was a taxi driver, unemployed, had lost his job and was trying to get a taxi license again and was trying to get another job, and there was a maintenance order made to provide $500 to his wife and child. He had failed to make the payments. He asked for indulgence, he paid, after the order he paid again then he fell into arrears again and the wife went to court and asked for a maintenance order again to enforce, and this female judge who I shall not name, did not want to hear the pitiful plea of the husband. 'Look, I am trying my level best. I can't find a job.' This is recession Singapore, 1997. 'I honestly cannot find a job. Why do you think I would not want to support my own child?' The judge didn't want to believe him at all and sent him to jail.
- Women are gaining much more in divorce, when it comes to men. And recent examples in New York... Women are gaining much more rights and privileges, even more than men. Men are always - I don't think you're saying born losers right? But they appear to be born losers. Unfortunately that's the law... It is not that the law goes out, sets out to make life difficult for men. I don't think judges go to the family court and say: Okay, how many men am I going to today, make their lives miserable?... We are going to make the lives of men very miserable.
- You may find your dinner 'shiok', which is mar'lay, for example (malay)
- [On essays in exams] I've had people who've written that as a sort of explanation: 'I'm sorry Sir, I didn't have enough time'
- instairbility (instability)
- He patterns drug A (patents)
- This thing, I don't know why it's here, but it comes in handy for me to use as a, as a example. Okay, here ah, by the way this is Singapore FHM ah, okay. I don't why is it here, it's not mine. (an)
- literally work (literary)
- write a no'vearl (novel)
- If you are a budding songwriter or a musical guy... if you think you can make money here you're pretty much wasting your time. You should, er, you'll make more money by being an engineer.
- co-incidentally (coincidentally)
- If you call your produce 'triple A', and then your mark is 3 As ah, one on top, two at the bottom, designed in a particular way, ah. Ah, that can be registerable. But not if you just use three As standing side by side. That, apart from being such a moronic design, is so common that the, the registry will just say that you, you can do better than that.
- [On peddlers of illegal goods] What can he [the company] do? Don't know?... Recruit? Oh recruit him to sell your product? That's a very no'vearl way of doing things. A good idea. (novel)
- [On a lecture on sexuality and gender where the LT was the most full it had ever been, with people sitting cross legged on the floor even] I love doing this lecture. We always get great turnout... You get the football club, all of these guys show up. 'Oh great, talk about sex'.
- How many people in here have ever had sex? It's all right. It's the last class. No need to be shy.
- How many people in here are male? [Few guys raise their hands] It's not a test. How many people in here are female? Interesting: the girls know who they are. A few people at the back raised their hands twice.
- [On treating different sexes differently] It's very different from one of my female colleagues, whom I won't punch and grunt with. Talk about, I don't know, the weather, the new cooking.
- How prevail'lent this is (prevalent)
- It made me so mad when my sister said that GI Joe was just a doll. He has a parachute, machine gun... He's an action figure. I proved it. GI Joe went into the room. He stabbed Barbie with a knife, tied her up.
- [On pages from a textbook used in Singapore till the mid-80s reinforcing gender stereotypes] It sounds like it'd make someone a good maid one day.
- [On it being in vogue to enlarge noses and breasts in Singapore, but the reverse in the US] You can come here and make them larger, go back [to the US] and have it reduced (them)
- [On adventures in Sumatra] I hired a tour guide to take me to a Minangkabau village. My tour guide was a Minangkabau too. Strangely, his name was Elvis. I asked Elvis...
- [On a Papua New Guinean tribe where the males oppressed the females, but not for sexual ends, thereby debunking the Collins-Conflict Theory/Brawn Theory] The male Egna are terrified of sex. When a female comes around: 'Come here, come here', they scream and run off
- I'm going to amuse you, and myself. I'm going to explain this course in terms of the Matrix, just for fun.
- [On positive and negative liberty] I often talk about beer, and you may think I'm alcohol-obsessed, but it's important, it's structurally important for our purposes... We might not know what truth is, we might not know what virtue is, but we know approximately what beer is.
- Suppose, ah, I buy a new digital camera, and the only reason I buy it is because I have bad body image, I am worried about the fact that my abdominals are not very firm. And I notice that... in the ad, the digital camera is taking pictures of happy people at the beach who all have firm abdominals... I think: if I buy that camera, my abdominals would probably look better. And so I buy it because the admen have tricked me.
- Now we move to another part which is good... The Merovingian has planted a program, he's a, he's a, a, a machine intelligence that plants programs. He's planted a program in the cake of a woman who's sitting in the restaurant with him, and he's influencing her in certain ways. This is a family class, so I can't tell you in what way he influences her. You'll have to see the movie... She's having a sensuous experience with the cake.
- [On the Matrix] I can only think how bad that rave smelled, because when you only eat beans and you get 5000 people together...
- [On a picture of a Tesla coil in action in a darkened room] What's that, Zouk?
- Don't after this lesson, go to your Hindu friends and ask: 'What caste are you?'
- [On essays in exams] About 4 [pages]. Doesn't mean if you only have 3 you sit there crying.
- Ignorance of the law is no defence. You cannot go to court and say: 'I didn't know that there was such a law'. Because they presume that everybody needs to know the law. The rationale for that really baffles me. If everybody knew what all the laws in the country were, then there'd be more lawyers.
- He believes that only when you punish someone, it is a good lesson for many others. So the harder the punishment, the more likely that others will not attempt even to commit the same offence. I for one don't believe or subscribe to the CJ's criminal justice system philosophy. I'm sure there are many others like me. Why? In spite of all the harsh punitive or punishment that we have been meting out on our convicted criminals for the last ten over years, seriously, have these offences come down? Do you know what we have done? We have actualy built more prisons. Our prisons' capacity has been increased. Since 1990 to now. Why? Because in the olden days people was given a reprieve, people were given a warning, people were given less sentences and so they stayed less time. Now, you send them in for a longer time, and then when others come on board, where do you put them?
- [On harsh sentences] So what lesson can we learn? If we look at another society, because we're supposed to be a first world country now, right? And we are a developed nation, in all respects. Compare ourselves to australia. Australian history is that they started as a convict colony... How do you think australia now deals with criminals? First, their prisons are not even called prisons. They are called correctional centres. Their prison officers are not called prison officers, they are called officers of correction. Their prisoners, unless it is for a very very serious offence, don't remain in jail forever. They remain sometime, or most of the time, out in the community under correction work order... What is their aim? It's to, in the long term, give that person an opportunity to correct himself or herself and get back into society. The answer: Australia has one of the least rates in criminal offences, compared to many developed countries. Australia also has one of the most advanced penal system... So why is it we cannot learn things from them? We learn a lot of things from other people.
- Fourth year engineering student. Sharing an umbrella in heavy rain with a lady. Happened, well the evidence is he molested her by, well, his hand falling onto her hips or wherever it is. But it happened in that way. If we had to send him away for so long, and give him so much or so many strokes of the cane. Could we not have been a bit more understanding and caring? Of course we have to look at it from the victim's point of view as well. The victim suffered a molest. But is that the answer that everytime it rains, you don't share the umbrella with any other lady? Because you're afraid. Because now according to the Chief Justice standard, you've got molest of the shoulder as well. So if you share an umbrella, what are you supposed to do? Keep your hands in your pocket or somewhere else? Make sure it doesn't touch the other person. Whether male or female *laughs from audience* Because you have molest of the male as well.
- He assaulted the lawyer... He, unfortunately, appealed. *laughs from audience* He, he has not learned from historical developments in Singapore. You don't, you don't appeal any conviction if you can help it, as long as this Chief-CJ is the Chief Justice hearing Magistrates' Court appeals. So anyway he appealed for his bad luck, came before the Chief Justice, and what did the Chief Justice do? As usual, he enhanced the sentence. He enhanced a sentence beyond what was even allowed in the Section. If you look at every section in the penal code, it says that upon conviction, you shall be liable to a maximum of, let's say, 7 years' imprisonment, that's the maximum. But normally they don't give you the maximum, normally, although nowadays they tend to give you close enough. *muted laughs from audience* But what did the Chief Justice do? He went beyond it. And how did he do it? He said 'I'm taking into account this person's previous, some very small misdemeanor'. You know, I don't know whether - I can't remember the facts, maybe some parking offences or something like that. *laughs from audience* Something so ridiculous, you know, that this person is supposed to have committed. He said 'I take all this into account, and I'm going to send you away for a long long time'... He appealed, the Attorney-General appealed. Very unlikely for the Attorney-General to appeal. He appealed to the Court of Appeal against the CJ's decision, and so 3 judges sat to hear the appeal and they reversed the CJ. Of course, they are still judges *muted laughs from audience after a delay*
- You have a problem. The police don't want to prosecute you. You don't have money. And you can't, therefore, hire a lawyer. And you do not know how to prosecute. You do not know how to pursue the case. You have to live a very unhappy man. (on your behalf)
- Of course it is the aim of the criminal justice system in Singapore to reform and rehabilitate young offenders. But I would like you, when you have some time, to go to the Juvenile Court... You'll be shocked to find young magistrates giving a lecture to parents in public about their failure in bringing up the particular child. Now, what is wrong with that? Number one: I don't think that's gonna help in any rehabilitation or reform. Number two: The parents have not made any, have not committed any crime. So they don't need to get a lecture from the magistrate. And number three: If you really want to reprimand or give a lecture like that, you must always do it in private. In chambers. But what do they do? Because these are young magistrates who... these poor parents appear before you. Pleading for their child to be given a second chance. Now, you know that there are also reporters and all that. And so you take the opportunity to make a public display. Compare that with how people handle young offenders in many other developed nations. So there's something wrong in the way we are approaching the punitive element of the criminal justice system.
- There was this person who used to take - personal consumption - he used to take ecstasy pills. Quite a big shot. And he was, the police were laying a trap for him, so a narcotics officer pretended to wanting to buy this one single pill from him. Offered him 140 Singapore Dollars for one pill. Which according to the market, is very very high for one ecstasy pill. So it was an entrapment. He was caught, obviously because this person kept on pleading: I'll pay you anything, so on and so forth... He was then charged, convicted, he appealed. *muted laughs from audience* He appealed on the basis that the entrapment laws in Singapore are very very severe and it is very very bad to hold entrapment procedure and so on and so forth and this particular case, why should there be a presumption... he was still convicted. The conviction was still upheld by the CJ, so the presumption offences are now becoming more and more because it is making the prosecution easier, otherwise the standard of proof is very difficult to overcome (want)
- [On a blindfolded woman personifying justice] Less aggressive, less punishing and more humane. What a sad indictment on all the men. I think I will personally take you to the family court in Singapore... I think you should come with me to see how much the men are suffering. Less aggressive, very passionate. If ever there is any discrimination, it is taking place in the family court. And I personally witnessed it. *concurrent laughs from audience*... It's got something to do with the biological state of a woman and a man. Give life? But without us they can't do anything. They can try. (of)
- [On grounds for divorce] Nowadays it has come down. In the olden days it used to be: wife bashing, wife beating, you know. Very serious unreasonable conduct. But now again this is watered down. Nowadays the kind of complaints we get is excessive, unbearable snoring. It is unbelievable. This couple may have gone out for 8 years before getting married, and we all assume they did not sleep together. Otherwise, how come as soon as she gets married, the complaint that she lodges is that 'I cannot take his excessive snoring'. And then of course she considers it unreasonable conduct. But on the other hand, in the olden days, men have complained of nagging wives. They never got a divorce on the basis of nagging wives for unreasonable conduct. Today the court is prepared to give it.
- If a judge is unhappy with any act of Parliament, what he will do is that he will interpret in such a way that it makes the Act or the applicable Statutary Provision almost redundant or irrelevant.
- Lawyers, actualy one part of lawyering, is all about acting. If you're a good actor, good drama, you can actually get away quite persuasively in court. Now one such person, even in Singapore context, who was able to put his histrionics to great diplay in court was the late David Marshall... he had great success in the criminal courts in Singapore... Quite intimidating to witnesses. Shouting and screaming. Basically a drama. (in Singapore's, use)
- Of course nothing compared to the Palace of Justice in Putra Jaya... It's a huge court... It's unbelievable. I think even our stadium falls in pale. It's a huge building. So beautifully done that I think the judge who sits there must feel like the king of any big empire. (pales in comparison)
- Malaysia has got something like 500 or 600 thousand cases backlog. It will take at least about 5000 judges to be appointed to clear the cases.
- [On the CJ] In three years he cleared the entire backlog. We don't have a backlog at all. In fact now the judges don't have enough work
- [On the Family Court] It was set up on April first, 1996. I don't know why April Fool's Day.
- I don't think hanging anyone is something that, as a civilised community, we should even be carrying out today. I hope this will be reviewed under the new government. I think we need to put an end to this hanging. Death by hanging is no longer relevant if you want to reform society.
- [On receiving lecture notes] Some of you tend to get it from your predecessors but remember: the law changes, ok?
- Even if you're too lazy to speak up, at least nod your head or shake your head. Surely you're not too tired to do that.
- Singapore is one of the few countries in the world to produce land. Amazing, isn't it?
- Nowadays monetarism is just a intellectual curiosity, more or less. Some people might disagree with me, but that is my assessment as a macroeconomist.
- The government sacks the monetarist, so he has to go back to the university to teach monetarism.
- [Lecturer's phone rings] I thought [since] this is the last lecture, I wouldn't get a phone call, so I didn't switch it off. [Girl in back row: What sort of logic is that?!] (was)
- Adobe is one of the best companies in the world. Microsoft is one million times worse. This is the last lecture, I always complain about Microsoft to my students in the last lecture. They're selling rubbish to the world.
- [On John Taylor's business card with: 'r = 0.02 + 0.5 (pi - 0.02) + 0.5 (Y - Y*)'] On the back of his [business] card you will find this rule... I took it from the back of his card.
- pry'meh fay'see (prima facie)
- times have moved on (changed)
- In the ars faculty (Arts)
- A micro'ker'sm of what Arts and Social Science is about (microcosm, Sciences)
- You sit around bored during the december break. Sociology *is* the way to go!
- [On the Sociological Imagination] Anyone? Charles? No, the answer is not 'shit'
- As I told my class from day 1: We are here to screw up your minds
- [On group revision] If you can't [find anyone], sit down at the dinner table at night: Mom, do you know what Durkheim said about religion? He said...
- There's only one section on this test - section 1. *laughs from audience* Yeah, I thought that was cute too.
- All the wonderful pictures she showed us. Skinned dogs, bull's penises and all other kinds of hideous things.
- Women are more educated than men in the age group 20-24. Ooh, men are being oppressed.
- In many ways, Engineering has come to the solution of these problems (been)

--- NUS Staff (second half of semester, after mid-semester break)

 

- In the bikini (beginning)
- How many of you know what this means? [No one raises hands.] Good, good. Because it's not important, you don't really need to know this.
- Never make assumptions. Psychology is based on empirical research conducted on only a sample used to represent the general population. So never assume that the results you get are applicable to all. If psychology is really so easily applicable, all of you would probably be able to make Brad Pitt fall in love with you using what you read in the textbook.

--- NUS Staff (contributed quotes)

 

- Zeus sent Aphrodisiac down (Aphrodite)
- thee bees (thebes)
- Poe'say'don (Poseidon)
- [On my apparent lunch time Mos Burger order of a small Coke and 3 snap-frizen strawberries] Is that all you're having?
- Air'di'piss (Oedipus)
- [On Rag] Our main competitors are Law and Medicine, so all the elitist groups are going to fight it out.
- the Duck Queen (Dark)
- I went for 3 camps. USP [camp] was the worst.
- [On going on exchange] You pay NUS school fees. A: You spend your time in NUS. B: You spend your time elsewhere. Which would you rather?
- You pay the money first. Then you realise it was well spent.
- Let me tell you: If you persist in speaking Singlish, you're dead.
- Even if you speak perfect English, they won't understand you. Because [when] they look at you, they think you're from China. They think you don't understand English... They speak very slowly.
- Another reason you should go for 2 sems: 1 sem, you get to know this guy or girl. Just when you are steady-steady, you have to come back (go steady)
- the purgering falcons (peregrine)
- The first culture shock I had was in the toilet. The guy and girl toilets were communal... No doors: shower curtains... [Someone: For the first few months, every time I opened the toilet door I screamed. Guys!]
- Do not be shocked if you hear strange noises coming from next door. It's very natural... Just don't eavesdrop
- As we learned from Mediacorp, Chinese Tea is a good substitute for alcohol. You bring a bottle of Chinese Tea. You tell them it is Whiskey.
- Travel advice. When you travel, the first thing you must look out for - toilets.
- Banking is very important... From my own experience, it took me one whole month to open my bank account. And they got my name wrong.
- [On going on exchange] Since you travel halfway around the world, and people think you're from China, you might as well go to China
- very old, mee'dee'veil (medieval)
- If you need funding or moral support, the programme is always willing to help
- I hope you can join us for the refreshment break later.
- [On my slow rate of hair growth] Gabriel: We're not girls... Girls have a gene to make their hair grow faster.
- I'm gonna set up a Arts Canteen Club [Someone: Meet 3 times a day]
- [1 week after Orientation Weel] All my friends from O Week are getting hitched all over the place
- I have 3 girls to celebrate (girls' birthdays)
- People who come to Arts: We are all very laid back people.
- [On Science Girls] They don't wear slippers, they wear sandals. *Goes on to discourse about how Science Girls wear T-shirts and jeans, while Arts Girls wear tank tops, spaghetti straps, skirts and shorts*
- 30% of Arts Girls are attached
- I forgot to say something about Science Girls and Arts Girls. Science Girls don't wear hoop earrings.
- [Me on 'Animystic': 'Animistic' is {spelt} A-N-I-M-I-S-T-I-C] I know. But I like the 'Y'. *I groan* It makes more sense.
- [On the Lysistrata performance] This is the only place in Singapore where you don't see dyed hair.
- [On a sunglasses-wearing guy sitting at the front of the LT, at the lecturer's long table, and facing the students instead of the lecturer] Maybe he's just checking out the girls
- [Me: One should not let such vulgar things as popular opinion prevent one from achieving one's dreams] Yes, but the manifestation of your dreams will be everyone else's nightmare.
- Camp Exotica?... Not Erotica or something like that. [Someone on 'Erotica': That was the name of one of the groups.]
- [On Bollywood Hollywood] If you dress up as a coconut tree, we'll dance around you.
- We've all heard the speeches of the chew candidates vying for the position (two)
- [Candidate for Treasurer on finanacial statements and accounts] They're not difficult *realises he's committed a faux pas* They're not easy.
- [On heading the Sports and Social Committee] As you can see from my relaxed mood, this job suits me quite well.
- [On Sociology] My elder sister did it and she said it was very interesting... But after [doing] the readings, I regret [taking it]
- Plutorch (Plutarch) (written and spoken)
- shealings (shillings)
- electrify'cation (electrification)
- is the strength of electricity argumented (augmented)
- He used a silk tread (thread)
- [On the Baby Bonus and attendant schemes] Don't you feel pressured into becoming a baby-making machine?... Do you want to have 5 kids? [Someone: Yeah]
- [On the entertainment at the USP D&D] Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he started the 'woo hoo hoo' thing
- [On Kimberly Hart] I like her too! She's so cool.
- [On my offering to help them take photos] Wah, so chauvinistic (chivalrous/helpful)
- Her name is called 'Jet' (is)
- [Conducting a lucky draw] First up for grabs: we have Don's CDs. Number 49! [Number 49: Oh my god!]
- [Me on a silly song: It's self-congratulatory emotional masturbation] Are you an Arts student? [Me: Yah] You'll excel in what you do.
- I always enjoy riding Jet (...)
- [On Yaodong] He has the reputation of being the only one to masturbate in the open, in the college toilet.
- [On a wizened RJ teacher] She's very amusing. You don't laugh with her, you laugh at her
- When you get to a certain stage, most girls can't cook. Unless they're from *airy voice* MGS
- Cherie as in Gabriel's friend? I have my own identity. Cherie as in your RJ schoolmate.
- [On someone more unpopular than me] You're just freaky. He's freaky freaky.
- [On her homework] Are you majoring in physics? [Me: Nice try, nice try]
- [On South Asia] I took this module because I have no choice, and it's been quite fun because I've only gone for one lecture.
- [On South Asia] I took this module because I like Bhangra music.
- Mountbeaten (Mountbatten)
- I was amazed because I was at a lingerie shop. Some of the boyfriends stayed outside... Was I supposed to stay outside?... No I went [there] alone.
- [On an online publication] You can't put frivoloous stuff there, like poetry.
- I haven't done maths for so long. I can't add, I can't multiply. [Someone: Are you in Arts?] Yeah [Someone: Good, then you have an excuse.]
- I don't do my tutorials, so I have a lot of time.
- GSSQ. Kimberly. [Me: Nobody knows me by those names] I will announce it later. [Me: Thank you]
- [On passing last year's AGM minutes] Let's go through this and achieve Nirvana.
- We have a soft lunch of Chatterbox (launch)
- [On herself] The show is not over until the fat lady sings
- [Lecturer: Who rules the state?] Lee Kuan Yew.
- As long as you have money you can get into SMU
- McDonalds, being the bore'geese... the staff, being the pro'latrate (bourgeoisie, proletariat)
- [On McDonalds] Isn't there a minimum wage in Singapore? [Me: There's no minimum wage in Singapore] [Tutor: There is no minimum wage in Singapore] It's exploitation!
- We haven't established a repertoire with them (rapport)
- [On interviewing Upper Secondary Malay Breakdancers] Because we were quite 'old', they were quite shy. They would talk to each other and giggle. It was quite girly, in a sense.
- [On an observation of clubbers' skimpy dressing] One of the girls was just wearing a string across her back (what about her front?)
- Intimacy: In such a close, confined environment as a club, you have more feasible contact than you ever bargained for... You're sending a message to the guys: 'just touch me' (physical)
- [On skimpily dressed girls] All heads will be turning down to look at them (turning)
- In case other groups try to find their troubles (make trouble)
- [On clubbing] They say they are going there to chill out, to relax, but they go there to do intensive activities. (engage in)
- They say they go there to relax, but then they drink. And drinking too much is not good for your health.
- There are people who tarch, and there are people who want to be tarched. (touch, touched)
- [On study of clubbing] Did you actually see girls saying: 'Touch me, touch me' (hear)
- [On girls' skimpy dresses] Maybe it's hot in the club
- [On me] Do you notice something in his hair? [Someone: What's that in your hair?!] [Me: It's so that I can go and stab people. *stabs first person*]
- [On Wo-hen Nankan] He looks kind of pretty here. Without a moustache, he'd look like a girl.
- [On a guy sitting on the floor in a weird position near the lecturer's bench] He seems to be practising Yoga.
- [On Science girls] They're Chinese speaking, but they're not Ah Lians... At least Ah Lians look better.
- [Me on something on her wrist: What is that?] It's to tie my hair. [Me: You have no hair to tie. I have more hair than you] Oh, you clip your hair. I have more clips - do you want flower ones? [Me: If they're not garish] I'll get one for you. Will you wear it? [Me: Maybe once or twice.]
- [On some Sri Lankan leader with a hard-to-pronounce name, like all the others] Can we call him Charles?
- boas / boo'ers (buoys)
- [Someone: I'm not very social.] You should socialise. [Someone else: Who knows, one day you might choose one of us to be your boyfriend.]
- Don't go. We want company. [Girl: There are so many people here] We want female company.
- [On factors deterring early marriage] Fast-paced, high-stress life. They don't have time to meet people
and have sex.
- multi tyre family (tier)
- It's even more fun when you read girls' magazines. They tell you how guys think. Then you think: 'I don't think like that.' [Someone: There's another possibility. Maybe you're abnormal.]
- How do you a'certain what justified true belief is? (ascertain)
- [On the tutor and a student knowing about a powerful supercomputer in Japan] You guys are such dorks.
- [On a girl getting upset at a friend's doing an essay on a topic that she'd wanted to do] To girls, nothing is minor
- [Swapping tales of conquests with another girl] When I break up I recover very fast and look for a new target. [Someone: What's your longest?] My longest is 1 1/2 years. My shortest is 2 weeks.
- You have a lot of idiosyncracies, did anyone ever tell you that? [Me: Now then you know?!] (has, told)
- [Girl on assignment topics: It's not in my mail] You got too much porn in your mail
- [On me and Enming] You two look like brothers [Someone: Yah, yah!]
- [On his university experience] USP appeals to the mind. Hall appeals to the flesh... Physical activities. I don't mean it sexually.
- In the village there're the headsmen (headmen)
- [During a debate] If not it's very messy, like now. *Tutor's name*, what do you think?
- In the past, there are a lot of crass distinctions (were, class)
- [On the tudung and the ruling classes' interests being served by forcing it on women] How do they benefit? Do they feel cooler, when they see women wearing the thing?
- Whatever is preached on the pale'pit (pulpit)
- [Me: What's that smell?] Nail polish remover. [Me: Oh!] There's an almond smell. [Me: Why does nail polish remover have an almond smell?] Don't ask me, it's a girl thing.
- [On the phone] Is this Gabriel? [Me: How did you know? Was it the inane comment?] The slightly sleepy, big bear-y voice
- The girls with short hair are more likely to get hitched than the girls with long hair.
- [Me on SEP: But why do you want to go to France?] Because, oh my god, have you tried the pastries?
- [On someone] He has no sense of propriety... He's like something you just fished out of the toilet bowl. If you take a poker and stick it into a toilet bowl, he'll be on the end of it.
- [On someone with elaborate home experiment setups] Ikea is your friend.
- [On testing a home project - earphones] Are you playing Elvis [on your laptop]? [Someone: Are you kidding?] You'll get higher marks.
- My friend in Chemical Engineering tells me that there are actually more girls than guys in there. [Me: But the quality all like you lah right?] *pokes me in the tummy* [Me: *squeal/giggle*] [Everyone within 40 metres looks at me]
- [On product differentiation] Maybe Starhub has per second billing, Singtel has better quality. M1 - I don't know what M1 is doing... We can predict that M1's market share will go down... M1 is happy-go-lucky.
- [On a girl sitting cross-legged on a chair] Why are you meditating? [Girl: Cold lah] [Me: I've always wanted to do that but my thighs are too big to fit on the chair]
- [Tutor: The boys, can you say something?] Here no boys, only men *hoots of derision from others* (There are no boys here)
- [Lecturer: We are very visual today. A heap of photos and videos.] Time to run away.
- I am totally convinced that half the soci [sociology] lecture is made of sarong party girls
- [On the exposure module] Philosophy is like red wine. He's trying to turn it into Coke.
- [On a girl in a tube top] Who dresses like this for an exam? [Someone: Maybe it's an oral exam.
- [Me: Mysteries of the Universe] They should make that into a module
- What is USP? [Me: It's where stupid people do stupid things and [so] take more difficult modules to pull down their CAP] [ Some other USP person: Ultra Stupid People]

--- NUS Students

 

- a learn man (learned)
- This picture was taken many years ago. Now all of these people are fat and old. At least 10 years older.
- plair'sih'bo (placebo)
- [On citations] Stem cells. Stem cells came out in 2000... Everyone wrote papers on stem cells. Thousands of papers... For biologists, we're more laid back, so we cite further back. (As for, studies from further)
- [On eyes for stuffed animals] Even for humans, if you lose one eye, you can buy a marble eye
- Like cockroaches are fun. You all know the American Cockroach. That's what you find at home... Pill-bug roach. When you disturb it it curls up. Very cute. They're good as pets.
- A lot of people are disgusted by leeches, because they suck blood. But they have to make a living... You won't get AIDS, or what.
- artificats (written) (artifacts)
- The Economist is better than Newsweek because it's British. Newsweek is American.

--- Miscellaneous NUS People