Physics Lecturer
Physics Lecturer 2
Another Physics Lecturer

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- [After teaching a topic] If you have any curies (queries)
- pick attention to the red arrow (pay)
- look for the ball (bore)
- Let me share you an information (with you a piece of)
- How does it vay'ree? (vary)
- what the question was trying to mean (say)
- There's a clue here which I would like you to take note of this (take note of)
- the interval before heating (hitting)
- [Concluding a lecture] I hope the last 3 lecture has been useful to you (lectures have)
- The instrument is a centimeter (centisecond timer)
- Any other questions would you like to ask?
- How we are going to testes? (test this)
- If you haven't buy it (bought)
- those who are already sitted (seated)
- You need to be able to cope yourself
- Don't azzume that when I see you squid, I know that you can't see (assume, squint)
- in this region, the felines are closer together (field lines)
- [On responses to what he has said] Don't say bullshit. I can read your lips because it is a very common word.
- This is the most simplest way (simple)
- Once you're done, you can leave now.
- 70 degrees celshius (celsius)
- take a sur'ringe (syringe)
- when Professor Wank was here (wang)
- [On a student's correct answer] Good. Sure can pass.
- These are the fixed points which we fix
- You superpose the graph (superimpose) [NB: Someone mailed me saying, "PS : "Superpose" *is* an acceptable (although Americanised) alternative to superimpose." Oh well.]
- Is this T or M? [Student: T]. Nope. Second try.
- Are you confident or not? [Student: No] Never mind. [Answer the question I'm about to pose to you anyway.]
- If you're still can't figure this out (you)
- What is this called? [Students: a stirrer] [Brandishes thermometer] This is not a stirrer.
- Put away those things unrelevant to physics (not related)
- How does we find it (do)
- Most of you know that [in a car,] there are 4 tires. That's a good bet.
- A crane is not part of standard laboratory apparatus
- If you can hit a light beam a few mm thick with a [air rifle] pellet, you shouldn't be here.
- What's the colour for violet (wavelength)
- There must be nodes, anti-nodes and nodes
- It is quite complicating (complicated)
- What a polarising lens do (does)
- What are the 3 main examples covered up? (covered)
- The plane doesn't always move in a straight line. It can always move like this. [Draws straight line]
- What did I say at the start of the year? [Class: Drop Physics]
- [Days before the exam] I will purposely not finish capacitance today because I still want you to come tomorrow.
- Less attendance better, less people to entertain (fewer)
- I think those at the fore, move forward (back)
- Let's say I'm the voltmeter (wields broom and pan as wires)
- By right, capacitance is supposed to be taught after electricity. But by left...
- I want a PDA
- If you cannot get 4As [in the exams], you're gonna get 4Bs.
- [On University courses] People like me, never do enough research. I saw the brochure - architecture 6 years. My father already retired, so I [gestures] Later I found out the 4th year, you're being paid. (that you are paid during the 4th year)
- Potential and Potential Difference , there is a difference
- Let's say Michael and Kai Leung lives at the 20 floor block (live)
- You take a rough (raft)
- because you have just went one whole loop (travelled)
- It's another method, it's just how you think about it. But my method, no need to think.
- He says his handwriting's horrible. I didn't say that.
- The do'ration of impact is 0.1 seconds (duration)
- You crunch in the numbers (crunch)
- When the LTA says the speed limit is 90, don't quote me, most of us travel at 95, 98 or even 100.
- You can think along the idea of part D.
- What do you mean, What's the test for ? It's a test.
- Not only do you have to catch up with last year's work, you have to prepare for next year's work. (this)
- You are not going to see much next year, except books.
- Sportsmen : If you had problems catching up during the first six months - Guess What? Your competition is in the first six months again.
- Remember, Chin Xiang : The class goal is not to topple 5B.
- Shoo'you (Shuyu)
- [On Theoretical Physics] Whatever I teach you in class, if you are electrocuted, I am not to blame.
- There's one more thing I want to raise up (raise)
- exactly what did Genevieve did? (do)
- Take away all the parts which is not important (are)
- You still want me to test K1 K2?... Kirchoff 1 Kirchoff 2... So troublesome to say Kirchoff's First Law, Kirchoff's Second Law.
- Let me give you some hints
- I sift through it, because Englishmen like to write more than needed (skimmed)
- If you fire through a person, the rifle will move (If a person fires the rifle)
- [On the design experiment] once you give up (hand)
- [On superposition] You know why you all complain that it's hard? [Student: The teacher's lousy.] Cannot be. A different teacher teaches the topic every year. [Student: Then the whole department's lousy.]
- these are standard stuffs (this is standard stuff)
- You're gonna need all the space you need (can get)
- Pay attention, even when you yawn.
- I want you to pay close details to the method (attention)
- Just a word of note (note)
- Just one more example, then you sit back and relax and pay attention to it [the lecture]
- [On a bulb connected to a solenoid, with a solenoid to its left, connected to a battery] It will not sustain itself because the current is not sustaining. (It will not glow steadily because the current in the other circuit is constant)
- Please copy this down, this is in your page 4 (on)
- dividing equation 2 with 1 (by) (written)
- I'm giving you a 10 minute break here - very luxurious
- Look at the fax given to you (facts)
- I've taken the liberty to try and prove it to you (of trying to)
- this is just the IT software (a program)
- Ask your tutors how to do this. It's very simple.
- Even if I wake you up in the morning at 3AM, and I ask you to get root mean square, you [must] know how to get it.
- It's written in paragraphs - there's a reason to that (for)
- This is very high tech equipment - a piece of wood with 4 rusted nails on it.
- If I drop an object from this floor (to)
- Chin Xiang... is a typical example. From the start of the year... 'I hate Physics'
- [On students needing to pretend not to know of quarks] In A level Physics, all of you are supposed to act a bit dumb.
- I hope it's been productive to you (for)
- [On a practical test] If you think this was pressurising, imagine doing it without a kind face looking at you.
- Light can behave like you [a particle]
- [To me] There's still one Thermodynamic Law not claimed, maybe you want it... Pressure Law
- doesn't take much to amuse Chinxiang
- ultra means superior infra means inferior, so if I say I'm ultra-Chinxiang, it means I'm better than Chinxiang, but Chinxiang will say... nevermind, bad joke.
- This is all examable (examinable)
- [On remedial] After PE, no thank you. I do not want to smell you at this time.
- I know that, for this topic, the weather is quite warm, so you eat sweets, nevermind. (now)
- One uranium atom won't hurt you, unless your body starts a chain reaction, so be careful of what you eat
- Suppose I have a piss of rock (piece)
- [Before relating an anecdote] Let's diverge a bit (wander off)
- scoopa diving (scuba)
- Minrui, your mouth gap (is wide open in shock)
- apparation (apparition)
- this is a very simple maths (very)
- I was at Starbucks Holland Village... Always see a lot of you there... My friend said, "Raufie, you're a Physics Teacher right. Let me teach you something about stability. If you want to balance a cup of water [on your fingers], do you put your fingers close together or far apart?" ... far apart, then he put a cup of water on my 2 [index] fingers and went to sit down... So I was trapped at the Starbucks counter.
- ... you need the diagram. I don't have it now, but [Chin Yung: I'll get back to you]
- the electron is also an iron (ion)
- This is the iron tablet you ate. Let's say it was not discreted. (excreted)
- I just want you to sit back, relax.
- This is a very old movie [He appears in the movie, demonstratfng Bernoulli's effect] [Laughs from students] I had more hair then... Don't get it, why, the last batch also laughed at me.
- I've brought some paper aeroplanes, okay. It's the only time I can play.
- What's the name, ah. I think I'll get back to you on this.
- [Enters Japanese room] Okay... Minrui [a Japanese student] is going to conduct the lesson in Japanese
- memorise by heart (redundancy)
- I've not discussed through this (this)
- It's either B or C, so it's 50-50... like 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' [Students: uhhh...] You all are in a bad mood? I thought you did well for your MCQ.
- A lot of people are mourning about their results (their)
- During prelims, I strongly advise, you take paper like nobody's business, but don't quote me on this (take)
- [On a digital system missing an 'ignition' input] When Wang Shuo has his car... very easy to steal, the car is always on... or it can't move... Wang Shuo has a sofa in his carpark, a sofa with four wheels.
- I'll go that in further detail (into that)
- [On Bernoulli's effect and wind surfing] You guys... you see a lot of women on the beach, and you want to do a stunt... You've never done it before, but you remember what I taught you... I've never done it before
- [Tells corny joke] [Students fake laugher] har har. Yes, har har.
- Pay attention, bear with me, from now on there's nothing to laugh about... whether you're laughing with me or at me.
- The paper that the MOE will give you is thinner than this... like toilet paper.
- 'quite ee'cher'ly done' Who said that? [Class: Mrs Seah] Don't worry... keep a secret
- it's like a sur'ringe (syringe)
- [On running] Chin Xiang... just finishes his 4th round... Changge... just finished his 6th round. [Class: Woah] Obviously he's not paying attention
- Here's the problem. There are more than one ways to define it (is, way)
- a lot of students have tried to attempt this (attempted)
- when we ask you to define, you have to be sure what you are defining at (defining)
- Force cannot just be applied one way, like your Qigong, Qi4 power
- [Makes mistake] testing, testing
- zee'rof law (zeroeth)
- [On Practicals] here is my advice... At this level, you are not good enough to doctor your results
- this is obviously a damped ock'scillation (oscillation)
- If everyone of you do that, don't do it (does, ???)
- [On changing standards regarding sfs and such] [Me: Why don't you call Hutchings {the chief exminer}?] Hutchings always disappear. He's never around (disappears)
- [After mistaking Changge for the Physics Rep] Minrui, if you don't get your points for Physics representative at the end of the year, look out for it (for being the, ???)
- Gabriel, you have a home page ah? That day, Mr Nah asked me to search for my name... got 'Starbucks'
- for this coming prelim, whatever score you get, don't take it too hard
- from experience, prelim and A level is the worst exam you will ever have... University is very simple (levels are the worst exams)
- Xiaoshee (Xiaoshi)
- [On all 6 points for Physics practical lying on a straight line] be very careful, my suspect [is that you cheat] (suspicion)
- [On A Level Physics] I've got a strong feeling 60% of you will beat me
- don't keep it into yourself (to)

--- Physics Lecturer

 

- Another example are mair'nags (is magnets)
- it was taut to be electrostatic forces (thought)
- Newton's first law do not apply to him (does)
- The wit is defined as the gravitational force on the person (weight)
- When there's no resultant force, the body is in equilibrum (equilibrium)
- The war will now exert a force on the swimmer (wall)
- The force on body A by body B will a'fat its motion (affect)
- [On drawing Physics diagrams] We don't expat you to be an artist (expect)
- The girls sitting in the centre of the aisle, what are you doing? Stop making so much motion.
- They are air'ting in quite different directions (acting)
- [On requirements for some Science thing] This is for those who have a great interest in science, have good results and a personality and character.
- They are selling chipper than what is written here (cheaper)
- [On supposing a table is placed on the Earth's surface and we were at a point far from the earth] If wind were able to see the table (we)
- The bad wheel is different (back)
- Let us look at the ice park (puck)
- You want with sim'bers first (symbols)
- All of you open it (append)
- You have to apply your Fee'zics (Physics)
- to take into account the fat (fact)
- The bullet is aim'bedded in the plank (embedded)
- This is simple enough for you to attent (attempt)
- [Checking test scripts] Check that all the marks are added up cor'rat'lee (correctly)
- The ball exerts a dumbward force (downward)
- If you are not told that the mass of the string is massless, you can assume that the mass of the string is massless. (negligible)
- The three faces of matter (phases)
- the turt thing is (third)
- in cristers (crystals)
- The pressure inside the bubber (bubble)
- Those of you who bore a kettle of water (boil)
- [On fair experiments] Don't disadvantage the materia (material)
- There's always a tendency to confuse the strength of a material to its stiffness (with)
- tensar stress and compressive stress (tensile)
- If the pillar buckers it buckers at this point (buckle)
- [On precautions for experiments] You should remove all the kings in the wire (kinks)
- Such a material is very bitter (brittle)
- As you unloat your wire (unload)
- in a matter (in matter)
- It's not a smore thing (small)
- [On what not to do during exams] Don't use pens that are too inky (???)
- When you get back your screeps (scripts)
- If there are any queer'ries, they should be done before the lecture period is over (queries, made)
- What happened when they met (happens, meet)
- When the amplitude are unequal (amplitudes)
- We will go through each of these phenomenon (phenomena)
- To observe water waves, we use a ripper tank (ripple)
- For this part here, please don't copy anything. It's more important for you to rissen and understand (listen)
- On point A, such as A
- Let me just dare'ser'nate this point (designate)
- The transmitter are sending waves over (is)
- As the height of the tide changes, the distance the reflected wave travel wound change (travels will)
- at high tight (tide)
- com'perable (comparable)
- The other end is cor'natted to a vibrator (connected)
- When you read books, some uses one way (use)
- cancers the other wave (cancels)
- a later time later (time)
- Whereas at the antinode, however (redundancy)
- not on the syllabus
- and hen there's a path difference (then)
- When it enters into a medium (enters)
- This is the sleet that ensures that light (slit)
- There are 26, at most, in your class (at least one class has 27 people)
- The group of three having a conference there, can you break yourselves up? (it)
- Sarth Pole (South)
- compared to countries like Can'bridge (Cambridge - she means Britain)
- air'ceet (exceed)
- the circus are drawn (circles)
- over at the ants (ends)
- the centel of the coil (centre)
- It will boy down to (boil)
- are'rur (R)
- makes an angle teeter to the field (with)
- injetted into the field at right angles to it (injected)
- joos (joules)
- The particle will have moved a certain distance called the peach (pitch)
- helicat path (helical)
- You're excited because it rained?
- We're taking actions against those not here (action)
- [On lecture skippers] I know I'm talking to the wrong crowd. Those who are not here are not here to listen to all this.
- The arrow [on the battery] was blanco out when it was sent up for printng, don't know what happened... We won't go into that story (blancoed?, that)
- We told you how heart to shade (hard)
- calculate ah'rer (R)
- Do not split the tay'ber (table)
- always start your tay'ber at the adge (table, edge)
- [On tables] You always start at the leftmost (left edge of the paper)
- [On charging metal coated spheres with EHT - Extra High Tension supply] Most of you would have gotten electrocuted.
- cannot done by induction (you can't do it by induction)
- before we debrief the questions... (go through)
- totter (Doctor)
- [On having to tell students to be quiet] I thought we only have to do that when you're in J1 or J2 (we were in J2)
- if you were in my shoe (shoe)
- I don't think I'm the only teacher so far who felt that way (feels)
- itch time somebody misbehaves (each)
- I'm sorry about those who aren't misbehaving (for)
- this is a definition which often caught students (catches students short)
- I'll go through some announcements first (make)
- It's very important to bring along a ruler that is transparent, at least on one side. (half)
- [On Prelim Practicals] We had one year where one student brought in Nelkon and Parker
- [On precautions] It always makes the examiners laugh to read, I switched off the fan
- Don't write, I did not short circuit the battery . That is a safety precaution. You are not supposed to short circuit anything.
- they always have a page tighted with (titled)
- count them and gave them back to your Physics tutor (give)
- the air'dge of the rough surface (edge)
- defraction grating (diffraction)

--- Physics Lecturer 2

 

- It's not in equibur'rum (equilibrium)
- The unit for current is - amperes (the ampere)
- One is the energy which is dare'sipated, while the other one is what you give (dissipated)
- Just call it a non-Ormic conductor (Ohmic)
- Wire, you have that much resistance. Might as well use it as a heater.
- Most of you here are F Maths students. One person use matrix to solve [the Kirchoff's Law problem]... 3 by 3 matrix... My maths is very poor. I have to go to the maths teacher to check if it was correct.
- By the way, he got it wrong.
- I assume by now, you will have all your notes now (all your notes)
- [Picture of Britney Spears, supposedly, in a Bikini flashes on the screen] Can anyone tell me what does this have to do with atomic structure? Does anyone know who this is?... The answer is 'Bikini' [rambles about atomic tests on Bikini atoll]
- called a plum paa'ding model (pudding)
- These two students, called Ginger and Marksden (Geiger Marsden)
- So now, Bohr's, he combine... (Bohr)
- This is what he's quoted to say (he was quoted as saying)
- [On Rutherford getting the credit for his students' work] Or the other lesson [you learn from this] is, work very hard and become a professor. Then you get a group of bright students and get them to do do do do do... then you get all the credit.
- If you are given the ah'tomic mass (atomic)
- bromium (bromine)
- ate up (add)
- In the past, Al'kay'mist have tried to change lead into gold (Alchemists)
- [On atomic explosions] The rest [of the building] will be catch up in the fire (catch fire)
- oh'ps (oops)
- [On atomic bombs] If you drop on Singapore, Johor Bahru will complain
- [On atomic bombs] You worry also no use, there's nothing we can do... you hide inside MRT tunnel also die (worrying is useless, if you hide, you will also die)
- The r'airs mass of the helian nucleus (rest, helium)
- The unit of 'a' is the Johles (Joule)
- anni'hee'lation (annihilation)
- equilibrum (equilibrium)
- Legs Law (Lenz's)
- Why does the cable do not become hot (doesn't, become)
- so'noid (solenoid)
- It's better, if you can remember, it is better (?)
- there are a lot of things to remember for your prelis and A Levels (prelims)
- Sketching these diagram don't take you more than one second right (this, doesn't)
- Some of you, e part 1, the speed of the trailer before the collision, approaching the speed of light
- Do not quote Capper's Third Law (Keppler's)

--- Another Physics Lecturer

 

- [On pupils sleeping during lectures] I see some are thinking very hard. Fainted already.
- It gets heated up by the coy. (coil)
- The molecules bombard on the aircraft
- You have to shade the foo box (full)
- There is a change of face (phase)
- There are two things that can happen if the spid is too hard. (speed, high)
- That Indian boy, put down your leg. This is not your home. (half-Iban)
- How many bow'yers are there. (bowlers)
- The gers standing there, sit down (girls)
- extraplate (extrapolate)
- Physics is usually very simple: it's the common sense that we are lacking.
- How come so much noise ah. Yet there are some people who are able to sleep.
- when you think dipper about this (deeper)
- The dare'revation, I think, is in your lecture notes (derivation)
- fission products are non-radioactive and may be safety discarded (safely)
- kye'netic energy (kinetic)
- pore'risation (polarisation)
- There should be a total of 5 examples, ranging from very easy to still quite easy
- The thin film is very thin

- I've walked out [of the lecture] before and it feels real good
- Don't you dare say nothing [in reply to a hypothetical Physics exam question], I will also give you nothing.
- [On being deceived by the question] In your mind's eye, your mind will tell you
- The Classical Physicists didn't understand Quantum Physics. I don't think the Quantum Physicists understood it either.
- Do I have to do it? I'm so embarassed doing it, it's so easy.
- [On a problem] Now we get more philosophical about this (!)
- [On a filled bucket being swung] Over here, there're 2 bodies. There's a bucket and there's a water (some)
- [On bodies undergoing circular motion] a wooden stick with a lollypop turning (???)
- You are from RJC, I heard all of your testimonials are bullshit
-[On design experiments] [one] writeup called it [a] 'gas chamber'. I didn't like that... A chamber filled with Nazis
- [On a bad definition of the Bernouli effect] If I run faster, my pressure will decrease or what.
- [On the wrong explanation for why the bottom of aircraft wings have more pressure acting on them than the top] We all said, 'tylo', we all taught our classes this

- [On students copying stuff during lectures] You switch on the hand switch. The brain [is] still off, the ear [is] still off. (switch for your hand)
- When it's too hard, you switch off. When it's too simple, "So easy, I already know", then you switch off. So you're always switched off.
- An'pears (Amperes)
- stu'dients (students)

- I expected you all to do well for this question, but you did it as well as the other questions. (ie badly)
- Just convert everything to dyar base units (their)
- Density is mass over worlume (volume)
- To calculate the persontage uncertainty (percentage)
- How are we going to prove that it is in simple harmonic motion, okay?
- popit along (copy)
- The rest of you, do what you're supposed to do. If you're here, you'll be here. (???)
- The amplitude that it hates will not be as high as without damping (hits)
- [On effects of exam stress] I have this guy running to me who says, "I left my toilet in the wallet"
- One Farad is one Coulomb per Wolt (Volt)
- It is good for you to know, especially for those of you doing S paper... or whatever paper.
- If you want to discuss, discuss silently (???)
- [Few weeks before Promotional Exams] I suggest you all be awake during the next 3 or 4 lectures. The reason is simple : you will be flourished with a lot of hints, until you can see half the paper in your head. (presented)
- Once you get to this part, it is smooth flowing (sailing)
- This is U. It can be V also. (W - V appears on the side of the equation opposite of U, therein lies the confusion)
- This section which you're copying now, I suggest you study it when you're feeling very happy. (ie It is hard)
- Most of you got zero, or zero also.
- I did get some very good answers for this [question on how an illegal broadcaster can avoid detection]. One answer was : Shoot down the police helicopter. [Students: Laughter] Another was : turn the radio signal towards Batam. I don't know lah, I don't know. (the illegal broadcaster wants to broadcast to Singapore, and not Batam)
- You're expected to use a ruler for this part. I could not find one, but you should use a ruler ah
- The topic is on crocodile clips (is)
- Eh, ln 1 is 0. I'm impressed with myself.
- Extracted from one of the Dead Sea Scrawls (Scrolls)
- I mean, who is going to take a radioactive matter and eat it (take)
- [Precaution] Number 2... You should not do that. Point it at your friend.
- A few cm thick of lead can actually penetrate gamma [rays] (stop)
- [On why you should open the window when indoors] If not, it's just you and your radiation
- Okay, some good fellas to sabo today, since today is our last lecture.
- I was too excited to prepare for this last night, I forgot. I was watching the game [between Manchester United and Singapore]. This morning, I woke up, I panicked. I still managed to do it [the OHT] in 2 colours.
- [After warning everyone to try the question in case he is called out to present it] Since I see all of you working genuinely, I decided to do it myself. Besides, who can present as well? (have decided)
- [Students have copied 2 or so pages of the solutions] I've already sent the solutions for printing. [Cries of consternation] Just joking... relax.

- [When the aircon was spoilt] The more you talk, the hotter you become, the less cool you are.
- pramly (primarily)
- rares (whereas)
- the students were shot (shocked)
- If you want to find out about the equipment you are using [in 'Crocodile Clips], you can go to 'help'
- a particular maid (make)
- may be copper orside (oxide)
- the strain on the wean/wind (wing)
- Have you heard of this compound before? Neither do I. (have)
- very very deem (dim)
- [On a circuit component in Crocodile Clips] Let me make it explode.
- A relay is just a switch is controlled by electro-mairnags / electro-magnags (electromagnets)
- you have 2 terminus (terminals)
- op-amp is very ray'serlin (resilient)
- We need to know the character of this op-amp (characteristics)
- This is one hers (hertz)
- The gain is not evers'ly affected (adversely)
- Do I sound like a salesman?
- I hope that you have enjoy / hope you have enjoy (enjoyed the lecture) (Everyone was either sleepy or confused)
- America has one standard, Britain has one standard, Singapore doesn't have any standard, nevermind
- Bulling algebra (Boolean)

--- More Physics Lecturers