(Caricature drawn by Lut)

- 'x' equal to **prass** minus two (plus)

- The square root of 2 is **ee'ray'shional** number (an irrational)

- last year I had a **crass** (class)

- [On when not to study/do work] After dinner, you're thinking of **bade** (bed)

- Utilise your **parents** daily (talents)

- You **sood** be able to tell if the graph intersects the x axis
(should)

- We have '**x**' greater than 2 (P)

- B is **excruded** (excluded)

- You get a **weal** number (real)

- If you want to **crame** that the two polynomials are equal
(claim)

- **seen** Nineteen **Nai'ty Fai** onward (since.
Ninety Five)

- If you are able to **exsprain** (explain)

- The **taste** of when x is negative (case)

- We call this point the point of **infraction** (inflection)

- X **grader** than zero (greater)

- It **impries** that (implies)

- If we apply the **panic** of cross-multiplication (technique)

- Now we use the **ideal** of this word and (idea)

- Because of the **contrains** of the syllabus (constraints)

- Those interested, you have to sign **out** (up)

- Take out your tutorial **jiro** (zero)

- In this **in'equor'rity** (inequality)

- The bad guy is in the **prism** (prison - she calls the modulus
a prison)

- By applying the **peer'rerm** (theorem)

- You have a **hoar'ri'jontal** line (horizontal)

- You know that 2 is the **raping** point (breaking - she means
turning)

- Both sides are the **more'due'rers** (modulus)

- When we **pea'zent** the answer (present)

- The x is just a symbol only, you don't like you call it y, call it apple

- that **mean **/ **mince** (means)

- An element in the x will **mat** to one in the y (match)

- Can you look at the **note**? (notes)

- Where **are** the x come from? (does)

- we **corrit **the range (call it)

- the **domeer **of y (domain)

- we **rid** it from the graph (read)

- **seen it go up**, the upper limit is infinity (when it goes
up)

- Umbrella how to spell ah? [Proceeds to draw an umbrella on the OHT] (!!!)

- Don't do it by **agaration** (trial and error)

- Only when we have a **quor'ratic** function ** there is** a
discriminant (quadratic, is there)

- There'll be more questions on **apprication** (application)

- If you don't understand the concept, how **could** you apply?
(can)

- the broader term of **wheels **(use)

- [Explaining an error with a lame excuse] The air-con here is quite cold,
I haven't warm up yet.

- Anyone who has been **braglisted** (blacklisted)

- As you can see, it is an **implorper** fraction (improper)

- You **sood **rememder that (should)

- When you apply the **maggot **to the part A (method)

- The earth is round, so positive infinity will meet negative infinity (paraphrased)

- Do you know how I choose these numbers? Not by lucky draw.

- It will **mad **it to x (map)

- The graph of the inverse can be obtaining by **refracting **by
the line y = x (reflecting)

- [On flouting the seating arrangement during a test] If you do not sit with
your class, the transport fee will be 5 marks

- [To the teachers] Start **correcting** the scripts (collecting)

- Your mind must be **crear**, or your 'A' will be ** bye bye
to you** (clear, gone)

- You know you are so big ah, you cannot hide (to a group of people hiding
in the last row of the lecture theatre)

- [In a supremely ironic moment] You don't understand my **Engrish** ah?
(English)

- to the state that they perform like a **roar'bot** (robot)

- **hwhat** is the **recipocal** of x? (what, reciprocal)

- They don't increase in the same... same... same... what ah?

- If the domain of [the function] 'f' is **refricted** (restricted)

- **sin **you know the x comes from the domain (since)

- When we do a composite function, we do **wang** after another
(one)

- There are four **animent** (elements)

- We want to see if it **certisfy** the condition of a function
(satisfies)

- [Aims at student] Piang! You're wrong. (mimics gun with hand)

- When you take a ** prane** to Europe, you need to transit in India. Only
30 of you can go on the plane to go to England so 10 of you are left at India
International Airport. (plane)

- Give the **roos** (rules)

- the **comporsite** function (composite)

- this is **divine** as (defined)

- [On how to remember the order of evaluating composite functions] When you
go home, you must open the gate before you open the door. [Student presumably
says something] No gate ah? Then you must open the door before you go toilet.

- Eh? What am I writing ah?

- Can we just take the reciprocal? [Pregnant pause] Actually can ah.

- They [some students] promise me that they don't talk... they laugh only.

- It **made** no difference (makes)

- If you want me to release you early, you should keep quiet so I will feel
guilty.

- You can **scat** the graph already (sketch)

- the **cor'rages** (colleges)

- What does this **impry**? (imply)

- **degrading** function (deceasing)

- 'e' equal to **ziro pras **(zero plus)

- When f(x) is a **per'radic** function (quadratic)

- the point of **inflexion** (written - inflection)

- In order not to **confew** yourself (confuse)

- [Making a lame excuse] My mind cannot think now (??? - logical flaw too)

- **scale **lines (skew)

- can you **regegnise **this term? (recognise)

- it should **mitch **the midpoint (reach)

- [Ironically, during 'Speak Good English Week'] r must start... r must be
started. Must speak proper English. r must be started from 1

- What ** will it** happen? (will)

- Some people complain that maths is too mathematical, so we must make it...

- You **sustute **r = 1 (substitute)

- We can write it as a summation of the first **turn **(term)

- This is like the **nomino **(dominoes)

- The first k terms can be **ridden **as (written)

- There are two boys who were talking and talking. Then they were ** praying** with
the ruler. Now he put the ruler into his pocket. He ** took** it out. (playing,
takes)

- You bring 1 + x to the **niaomerator **(numerator)

- We **asshume **that Pk is true (assume)

- I didn't draw the **perpendicurar **(perpendicular)

- This formula ** will be** appear in the formula list (will)

- By ** sarsituting ** root x (substituting)

- You put a 2 outside, you must divide by 2 inside. This is not logical, but
its just a way to remember. (explaining how to remember the factor formula)

- When this term ** time ** this ** time ** this ** time ** this (times)

- You ** tends ** to remember (tend)

- [Draws a 'grenade' on the OHT] When you do the expansion, you light up the **grynite**,
it explode (grenade)

- Some of you put n = 3 [as the answer to the question]. If there is such a
bank, I will put all my money inside. How nice, after 3 years it will triple.
Better than teaching.

- I take out 3, so the graph will be ** complessed ** (compressed)

- [On someone not doing as she has asked] I thought she understand my language
ah.

- We replace this [term] with apple.

- So ** fast'ten ** your safety belt, I will go very fast (fasten)

- The ** mair'nitude ** of a vector (magnitude)

- as we ** stay ** (say)

- When you're in kindergarten, the teacher will say: the first boy hold the
shirt of the second boy, the second boy hold the shirt of the third boy, then
you form a vector. [Cries of consternation and puzzlement from students] Didn't
you do that? Very fun ah.

- The two vectors are ** repersented ** by the parallelogram. (represented)

- **multip'cation ** of a vector (multiplication)

- Is the same as you ** dake ** (take)

- There's a note before example 2. ** He say that** (It says that)

- From the midpoint you can make a ** quadi'trair'tre'rel** amazing ah?
(quadilateral)

- You may ask where is the O. The O is in the air.

- There is a ** weight ** advantage (great)

- You do a bit of ** rer'rangement ** (rearrangement)

- two ** whackters ** (vectors)

- Any vector r can be written as a linear ** combation ** of two non-zero
vectors a and b which are non-parallel and ** co'planner ** with r (combination,
coplaner)

- This 'b' will go to the moon, it will never reach 'r'

- Your promos are going to be harder. My wisdom tooth ** are** coming out,
so I **become **wiser. Then **I **set harder exam **question**. (is,
will become, I'll, questions)

- No wonder you all are laughing at me. I have wisdom tooth, so I cannot pronounce
properly... Actually, I learn this [lame excuses] from you [students]

- You can always ** ee'nore ** it (ignore)

- Some teacher say put a cap [carat sign which denotes a unit vector] on the
[vector] AQ, but I don't like this. Too many thing on top, too heavy for the
head to support.

- The notation of this [symbol] is called the **dog**. So it is the ** dog ** product.
(dot)

- the ** obtube ** angle (obtuse)

- You have just woken up is it? And what is in your mouth? I thought I told
you no chewing gum in Singapore? Are you a Singaporean? You smuggle the chewing
gum in ah. And no eating and drinking in the LT [lecture theatre] and the ** crassroom** (classroom)

- Eh, by the way, do you know where is the ** mad ** department noticeboard?
(maths)

- You ask me which one is it. I also can't answer this question, you have to
try your luck (!)

- You use your bionic eye to see the ** dog ** product (dot)

- our scalar product ** fondeler ** (formula)

- **congrence ** triangle property (congruent)

- we can ** remove away ** the negative

- **florm ** (from)

- we put the ** chopstick ** against it (modulus sign)

- In Section 11.3, we say... we say what ah

- There should be a ** unit ** value of [the symbol] miu which solves the
equation (unique)

- The ** sixsee** boy and the ** sixsee** girl over there, stop talking
(sexy)

- [On what happens when you talk during the test] I know you will do very well,
so you don't mind giving me 5 marks. If I'm not wrong, the paper is upon 35...
It is 35 marks, so you can talk 7 times

- No ** turn** around (turning)

- First of all, I want to congratulate all of you for making the decision to
come into this LT for Maths lecture. (said during the 2nd last lecture before
promotional exams)

- He use the word interesting, ** I think he use a** very interesting word
(I think that is a)

- For this promo paper, we target at 90% pass... for the double maths students.
[cries of consternation] This is very standard... 10% of them will join the
DFM course next year - Drop F Maths.

- From the Arts Group, ** we target** 60%, so the Single Maths Group will
be the average of the two. What this means is very simple - you look at your
friend on your left, on your right and in front of you. If you can find one
whose maths is worse than you, you are safe. [groans from students] That's
why I want random sample. [She'd scrapped the seating arrangement for that
day] (our target is)

- Do you make your friends surrounding you feel safe?

- 48/4 [2(1000) + (40-1)12**}** ( ] ) (written)

- Your ** farrow** classmates (fellow)

- This sort of **calcuration**, I leave it to you (calculation)

- If a line ** perpendicular** to the plane, it ** will perpendicular** to
any line on the plane (is perpendicular, will be perpendicular)

- The questions in Section A are all compulsory, so try to score as many marks
as possible.

- Each of the ** question** will not be ** base** on one topic because
maths teacher like to eat rojak (questions, based)

- [Going through a question] I don't like this sort of expansion, so I just
give you the answer

- Hence, find an ** approcimate** value for root 3 (approximate)

- Actually this sort of question does not make sense. Do you know ** why do
I say that**? If we want to use this to find the approximate value of root
3, it must be when the calculator is not available. But if the calculator is
not available, how do you sum up all these fractions? (why I say that)

- A lot of times, I cannot say too many things, so it is up to you to ask me
questions, so I can say yes or no.

- First of all, let me thank you for your support (said during last lecture
before promotional exams)

- Let us continue our ** homo** 99 paper (promo)

- As we know, in the **Arven** / **Oven** diagram (Argand)

- When you look at it this way - that's why the constant can be ** i'nored** (ignored)

- [During a test] If you get any extra **scripts**, your marks will be divided...
(question papers)

- Then you check the two rows, see whether ** there's any im'post'ters** (there
are any imposters)

- Somebody... ** want to pretend ** to be in [2S0]3A. It will not improve
your Maths. (wants to pretend)

- If you want to save your ** appen** (effort)

- **we denote it** as alpha check (It's denoted)

- with the ** edge** of a suitable figure (aid)

- you must give a reason ** to** this (for)

- it says the x3 is ** negreegeeble** (negligible)

- [Teaching the Newton-Rahpson Method] This Newton, really, give us a lot of
trouble... Without him, maybe we still live in the cave.

- There's a ** rabbit** change in the gradient (rapid)

- [On what happens if the estimate for linear interpolation is off] It will
go in a merry go round.

- Then you just go round and round until you ** fainted** (faint)

- [Maths program ends with a man running and bowing, then a running dog] I
think at the end, ah, you will just remember this.

- For those who don't pay attention ah, you will have to take out a coin and
toss it.

- Remember to bring a coin during the test.

- The point is ** at the top of the hill** (a maximum point)

- linear ** inter'perration** (interpolation)

- Eh, use your brain, don't just use your hand

- Somebody is sleeping ah... wah, very effective, immediately wake up

- The 315, you have to bracket it. Eh, do you know what I'm talking about?

- "P C. What is that? Perm and Cut?" Maybe she just visit a ** saloon** (salon)

- [On alkenes] All these are organic... organic substances

- **hytrogen** (hydrogen)

- [On attempts at organic chemistry] Eh, don't laugh at this. I just learn
this 2 days ago.

- because this is organic chemistry... organic substance

- The 'C' [carbon] here is the ** refraction** of the 'C' here. I know this.
[Students clap] (reflection)

- 2 [drawing of an apple] 1 orange (written)

- I don't know who give me this apple.

- Unless one is green ** apper** and one is red apple (apple)

- Do you need another example for this ** additional** principle? (addition)

- One way [to travel on the MRT train system], go directly, the other way go
by Woodlands [ie very far]. Eh some people may like it, especially when they
are with... * another person*.

- Take a ** croser** look ** of** this example and example 1 (closer,
at)

- Quite a number of you, ah, are ** hape'pilly** enjoying their... happy
hour. (happily)

- The person who is kicked out... will sit there (?)

- You will understand ** why do I mean** by that (what I mean)

- If you do this, it will take more ** times** to press the calculator (time)

- You like this **tear'rem**? I also don't like. (Pronunciation: tear as
in teardrop)

- Wah, some people start applying meditation to see whether they can understand
this topic.

- **compax** numbers (complex)

- today we do the ** revisions** (revision)

- [Explaining an error] I haven't taken my lunch, ah, I'm a bit hungry

- this is y ** air'siss** (axis)

- don't need to ** bother** all those things (bother about)

- this is another approach by considering ** coins** (points)

- apply the ** mair'turd** (method)

- try and find out the **quor'tient** (quotient)

- same thing as you have a ** blah'der** at home, doesn't mean you must
marry first (brother) (???)

- okay, last question before we go for lunch

- [On writing 'QED' - ostensibly 'Quite Easily Done' - after solving a problem]
Must write this ah, then you will be confident and can carry on ** your work** (doing
your paper)

- **ketrahedron** (tetrahedron)

- Then you will get a ** pras** b and a minus b [Students: Pras]

- Eh, this simple result will ** coss** us 8 marks (cost - earn)

- **Hwhat will be** the graph look like (what will)

- This look like the sky book, tien1 shu1 kan4 bu4 dong3 (heavenly book, can't
be understood)

- I think ah, there's a group of people who are very happy, because they think
they did very well in the Common Test. They get 'E', they get 'D', they get
'C', they're very happy... Because last year they always got 'F'.

- [On the 'ring' and the 'circle' in P C] We don't go to the bottom of the
table and look at the people's legs.

- This is ** by** mathematical notation (in)

- This is ** a** important concept (an)

- What if you have a committee of 10, and you must have at least 1 boy and
1 girl? Are you going to do 1 boy 9 girls, 2 boy 8 girl, 3 boy 7 girl... If
you do that, ah, I'll go out for a cup of tea first.

- **Consitting** of 7 and 3 ** peoples** (consisting, people)

- Ok, ** that's come to the** end of the chapter on P C (that's the)

- [Gets names of students sitting on the last row] I know this is not the first
time there are people sitting on the last row. Next time, you want to sit ** at** the
last row, you think to yourself: What is the probability of getting caught?
(on) (She was teaching 'Probability')

- getting an ** a** (ace)

- **physic **paper (physics)

- **wee'men **(women)

- the **occurent **of either event (chance of either event occuring)

- [On a deck of cards] You have As or Bs... all the way to 10 (there're no
Bs in a deck)

- [On writing 'QED'] My **secondry** school teacher **totch** me this,
then I also **like** writing this, then I ended up as a maths teacher. So **you** don't
copy me, then **you** become a doctor. (secondary, taught, liked, if you,
you will) (She was lecturing the 'Biology' lecture group)

- So just work on the **require** one (required)

- Wah, I heard something, ho2 lau2... That is a good phrase. That is the Teochew
version.

- [On taking a long time to do a question] In Teochew, it's 'after you find
this, raining already'

- You don't want to **get yourselves settled down**? We will start the lesson **layder**...
and go faster. (settle down, later)

- Then he chew and chew until **he **finished the first one [sweet] (he's)

- Thank you for waiting 5 minutes [making noise for 5 minutes]... so that we
can finish this example **on the dot of the bell** (as the bell rings)

- [On people talking] When I ask you to read the question, **does'nt **mean
that you read it out so loudly (it doesn't)

- Don't always follow me [my way of doing maths], because my gong1fu1 [skill]
is higher.

- I think ah, that your english ah, is very bad

- [On the 3 words 'mean', 'standard deviation' and 'variance'] You will see **it** every
day, and I think **it** will appear in your dream as well (them, they)

- Don't use your common **sand**... Your common **sand** may fail (sense)

- **Prossaint** (Poisson) (Pronunciation: Croissant with a 'P' sound instead
of 'C')

- [On the Poisson formula] Do you know why **do I **keep on saying this
[formula]? Because this is a very odd formula, after some time everyone will
forget, including me (I)

- Find the probability that the **sharp** sells more than 2 in a week (shop)

- **ah'kay**? (okay)

- Do you **believe in me**? (believe me)

- **fr'eums **(films)

- [On ellipses - ... s] Eh actually I don't like this. Who **know** what **happened** to
the dot there (knows, happens)

- [On continuing beyond what she was supposed to teach] You see, I'm relieving
Mrs Kwan but I'm willing to do more, you all should appreciate

- simple **errimetic** calculation (arithmetic)

- don't sit at the **stagcase** (staircase)

- I think that you do not want me to pull out a chicken ah. The Chinese say,
sa4 ji1 jiao4 hou2. Kill the chicken to teach the monkey.

- Don't think that **you are at the back ah, I couldn't** see you talking
(just because you are at the back, I can't)

- [During Maths Common Test] Good afternoon everyone, welcome to the test

- Why do we want to know the probability? Because we want to buy 4D.

- We say that T is an **unbuyer **estimate of tao (unbiased)

- in the **wrong **run (long)

- **ah'hey**? (okay)

- There will be some very tall boys in the **crass**, and some very short...
students in your **crass**. I don't want to say 'girls' (class)

- So, if you have the same feeling as **what I think **(I have)

- Don't wait until the last day to eat all of the rice. You will die... And
I will die also.

- Then I told the girl, you are **qualify **S Paper student (a qualified)

- So you chop chop chop chop chop chop chop [divides long block into smaller
ones]

- [Students pass notes around and get caught] [Student: We wanted to pass her
a note to cheer her up] You all sing a song, to cheer her up... Sing 'happy
birthday'... If it is so important and urgent, why don't you invite everyone
to cheer her up

- Which ECA will have the shortest people ah? ... [Student: Canoeing] Canoeing
ah?... I think it is gymnastics right? They have to be **small size **so
they can swing and swing and swing right. (small-sized)

- I think all of you are very confident - once you hear the **word 'confident **interval',
you are very confident (phrase 'confidence)

- [Handphone rings 3-5 rings, with people going orh! more loudly with each
ring] You are very lucky, today my mood is not so bad... Actually I'm thinking
of changing my handphone... That **day** cross country... Your handphone
is very tai3 gor1 tai3 ... Eh make sure you all turn off your **handphone**,
or else the next one that rings**, I will change it with you **(day during,
handphones, will be exchanged with mine)

- [Questions memory] Cannot tell you too much. Otherwise, you know how to attack
me.

- I choose a member from the basketball team, so the mean [height] is very
high. I choose a member from the chess club, the mean [height] is very small.

- You get a sample from the gymnastics team. The mean [height] is 1.50[m]

- Once you memorise it [the phrase], you can leave the LT. Shall I help you
remember? We are 95% sure the confident interval includes the population mean...
We are 95% certain the confident interval contains the population mean... We...
are... Eh, you all leave leh, I don't want to keep on repeating.

- Fasten your safety belt. Today we're going at rocket speed.

- I told you already, rocket speed. When we reach the moon, I will slow down.

- At this point of time, don't use your brain. Just use the calculator. Deet
deet deet.

- [On cross-topic questions] The British people, how to say... the British
people discover a special thing in South East Asia called Rojak

- **envy'dence **(evidence)

- [Handphone rings] Wah, this person **really **interested in my tai3 gor1
tai3 (is really)

- Make sure you all switch off your handphones or else the next time **it **rings,
I will stop the lesson. Now the **handphone got timestamp**. I can check...
Exchange with my tai3 gor1 tai3 for one week (one, handphones have the timestamp
feature)

- If there is no evidence, he will be **craimed **to be not guilty (proclaimed)

- **sen'pier **limit theorem (central)

- Your private tutor may **told **you about the sigma square cap (have told)

- this is **ee'qwere'rent **to sigma square cap in the **statistic **textbooks
(equivalent, statistics)

- those who **sit **at the **rass **row, come forward (are sitting, last)

- **rejetting **the h nought (rejecting)

- this is the **state**, **state **3 (stage)

- Then the teacher **craim **that the students have not performed as expected.
Does this sound familiar? (claims)

- **envydent **(evidence)

- Do you know what I am doing? Yes ah.

- **seconder **school (secondary)

- [Takes away transparency] [Cries from students] I thought you are hungry.

- I think you all just sit there and copy, I have to write all this nonsense

- If this question do not reject, then I'll wear **purpose **(purple)

- [On when she first transferred to a Junior College and attended a Maths Teacher
'Sharing Session'] I said [to my TJ friend], RJC this year, only 41 students
didn't get **A or** B. You know what she said? "Only 11 students never
get A or B." You know what I said next? **Today the weather very good
hor**. (an A or a, The weather today is very good)

- Once upon a time, there was a student who studied in one of the top **JC** of
the time, along Bukit Timah Road (JCs)

- [She spent all her time studying] Chemistry... Saturday... Sunday 12 noon...
3pm then she finished... she **start** looking **ass** the maths... That
night, she couldn't sleep (started, at)

- [On results in the S07 equivalent combination] 3 months **pass**... She
saw, 3As and 1B. The B for Further Maths... She was very disappointed... She
took up a teaching scholarship. Maths even though she didn't get a double distinction
[in Maths]... So every 2 years, **she face** a graduating batch, she will
tell them this story (passed, when she faces)

- [On vectors] forgot to put the little worm below

- **binormal **(binomial)

- so who **you are**? (are you)

- [On JCs] You know the top 5, then you get the next 5, then you get the next
5

- so you see complex numbers involve a lot **on **geometry (of)

- HJ, JC along Bukit Timah Road

- You know how to go forward, you don't know how to go backward, that is very **dan'gerous**...
After A **level**, you **go **party**, **friend's party... Pasir Ris
resort. You go there, you don't know how to go home. (dangerous, levels, go
to a, a)

- use the **geometry **method to get the, the equation (geometric)

--- Apple Woman