(Caricature drawn by Lut)

 

- 'x' equal to prass minus two (plus)
- The square root of 2 is ee'ray'shional number (an irrational)
- last year I had a crass (class)
- [On when not to study/do work] After dinner, you're thinking of bade (bed)
- Utilise your parents daily (talents)
- You sood be able to tell if the graph intersects the x axis (should)
- We have 'x' greater than 2 (P)
- B is excruded (excluded)
- You get a weal number (real)
- If you want to crame that the two polynomials are equal (claim)
- seen Nineteen Nai'ty Fai onward (since. Ninety Five)
- If you are able to exsprain (explain)
- The taste of when x is negative (case)
- We call this point the point of infraction (inflection)
- X grader than zero (greater)
- It impries that (implies)
- If we apply the panic of cross-multiplication (technique)
- Now we use the ideal of this word and (idea)
- Because of the contrains of the syllabus (constraints)
- Those interested, you have to sign out (up)
- Take out your tutorial jiro (zero)
- In this in'equor'rity (inequality)
- The bad guy is in the prism (prison - she calls the modulus a prison)
- By applying the peer'rerm (theorem)
- You have a hoar'ri'jontal line (horizontal)
- You know that 2 is the raping point (breaking - she means turning)
- Both sides are the more'due'rers (modulus)
- When we pea'zent the answer (present)
- The x is just a symbol only, you don't like you call it y, call it apple
- that mean / mince (means)
- An element in the x will mat to one in the y (match)
- Can you look at the note? (notes)
- Where are the x come from? (does)
- we corrit the range (call it)
- the domeer of y (domain)
- we rid it from the graph (read)
- seen it go up, the upper limit is infinity (when it goes up)
- Umbrella how to spell ah? [Proceeds to draw an umbrella on the OHT] (!!!)
- Don't do it by agaration (trial and error)
- Only when we have a quor'ratic function there is a discriminant (quadratic, is there)
- There'll be more questions on apprication (application)
- If you don't understand the concept, how could you apply? (can)
- the broader term of wheels (use)
- [Explaining an error with a lame excuse] The air-con here is quite cold, I haven't warm up yet.
- Anyone who has been braglisted (blacklisted)
- As you can see, it is an implorper fraction (improper)
- You sood rememder that (should)
- When you apply the maggot to the part A (method)
- The earth is round, so positive infinity will meet negative infinity (paraphrased)
- Do you know how I choose these numbers? Not by lucky draw.
- It will mad it to x (map)
- The graph of the inverse can be obtaining by refracting by the line y = x (reflecting)
- [On flouting the seating arrangement during a test] If you do not sit with your class, the transport fee will be 5 marks
- [To the teachers] Start correcting the scripts (collecting)
- Your mind must be crear, or your 'A' will be bye bye to you (clear, gone)
- You know you are so big ah, you cannot hide (to a group of people hiding in the last row of the lecture theatre)
- [In a supremely ironic moment] You don't understand my Engrish ah? (English)
- to the state that they perform like a roar'bot (robot)
- hwhat is the recipocal of x? (what, reciprocal)
- They don't increase in the same... same... same... what ah?
- If the domain of [the function] 'f' is refricted (restricted)
- sin you know the x comes from the domain (since)
- When we do a composite function, we do wang after another (one)
- There are four animent (elements)
- We want to see if it certisfy the condition of a function (satisfies)
- [Aims at student] Piang! You're wrong. (mimics gun with hand)
- When you take a prane to Europe, you need to transit in India. Only 30 of you can go on the plane to go to England so 10 of you are left at India International Airport. (plane)
- Give the roos (rules)
- the comporsite function (composite)
- this is divine as (defined)
- [On how to remember the order of evaluating composite functions] When you go home, you must open the gate before you open the door. [Student presumably says something] No gate ah? Then you must open the door before you go toilet.
- Eh? What am I writing ah?
- Can we just take the reciprocal? [Pregnant pause] Actually can ah.
- They [some students] promise me that they don't talk... they laugh only.
- It made no difference (makes)
- If you want me to release you early, you should keep quiet so I will feel guilty.
- You can scat the graph already (sketch)
- the cor'rages (colleges)
- What does this impry? (imply)
- degrading function (deceasing)
- 'e' equal to ziro pras (zero plus)
- When f(x) is a per'radic function (quadratic)
- the point of inflexion (written - inflection)
- In order not to confew yourself (confuse)
- [Making a lame excuse] My mind cannot think now (??? - logical flaw too)
- scale lines (skew)
- can you regegnise this term? (recognise)
- it should mitch the midpoint (reach)
- [Ironically, during 'Speak Good English Week'] r must start... r must be started. Must speak proper English. r must be started from 1
- What will it happen? (will)
- Some people complain that maths is too mathematical, so we must make it...
- You sustute r = 1 (substitute)
- We can write it as a summation of the first turn (term)
- This is like the nomino (dominoes)
- The first k terms can be ridden as (written)
- There are two boys who were talking and talking. Then they were praying with the ruler. Now he put the ruler into his pocket. He took it out. (playing, takes)
- You bring 1 + x to the niaomerator (numerator)
- We asshume that Pk is true (assume)
- I didn't draw the perpendicurar (perpendicular)
- This formula will be appear in the formula list (will)
- By sarsituting root x (substituting)
- You put a 2 outside, you must divide by 2 inside. This is not logical, but its just a way to remember. (explaining how to remember the factor formula)
- When this term time this time this time this (times)
- You tends to remember (tend)
- [Draws a 'grenade' on the OHT] When you do the expansion, you light up the grynite, it explode (grenade)
- Some of you put n = 3 [as the answer to the question]. If there is such a bank, I will put all my money inside. How nice, after 3 years it will triple. Better than teaching.
- I take out 3, so the graph will be complessed (compressed)
- [On someone not doing as she has asked] I thought she understand my language ah.
- We replace this [term] with apple.
- So fast'ten your safety belt, I will go very fast (fasten)
- The mair'nitude of a vector (magnitude)
- as we stay (say)
- When you're in kindergarten, the teacher will say: the first boy hold the shirt of the second boy, the second boy hold the shirt of the third boy, then you form a vector. [Cries of consternation and puzzlement from students] Didn't you do that? Very fun ah.
- The two vectors are repersented by the parallelogram. (represented)
- multip'cation of a vector (multiplication)
- Is the same as you dake (take)
- There's a note before example 2. He say that (It says that)
- From the midpoint you can make a quadi'trair'tre'rel amazing ah? (quadilateral)
- You may ask where is the O. The O is in the air.
- There is a weight advantage (great)
- You do a bit of rer'rangement (rearrangement)
- two whackters (vectors)
- Any vector r can be written as a linear combation of two non-zero vectors a and b which are non-parallel and co'planner with r (combination, coplaner)
- This 'b' will go to the moon, it will never reach 'r'
- Your promos are going to be harder. My wisdom tooth are coming out, so I become wiser. Then I set harder exam question. (is, will become, I'll, questions)
- No wonder you all are laughing at me. I have wisdom tooth, so I cannot pronounce properly... Actually, I learn this [lame excuses] from you [students]
- You can always ee'nore it (ignore)
- Some teacher say put a cap [carat sign which denotes a unit vector] on the [vector] AQ, but I don't like this. Too many thing on top, too heavy for the head to support.
- The notation of this [symbol] is called the dog. So it is the dog product. (dot)
- the obtube angle (obtuse)
- You have just woken up is it? And what is in your mouth? I thought I told you no chewing gum in Singapore? Are you a Singaporean? You smuggle the chewing gum in ah. And no eating and drinking in the LT [lecture theatre] and the crassroom (classroom)
- Eh, by the way, do you know where is the mad department noticeboard? (maths)
- You ask me which one is it. I also can't answer this question, you have to try your luck (!)
- You use your bionic eye to see the dog product (dot)
- our scalar product fondeler (formula)
- congrence triangle property (congruent)
- we can remove away the negative
- florm (from)
- we put the chopstick against it (modulus sign)
- In Section 11.3, we say... we say what ah
- There should be a unit value of [the symbol] miu which solves the equation (unique)
- The sixsee boy and the sixsee girl over there, stop talking (sexy)
- [On what happens when you talk during the test] I know you will do very well, so you don't mind giving me 5 marks. If I'm not wrong, the paper is upon 35... It is 35 marks, so you can talk 7 times
- No turn around (turning)
- First of all, I want to congratulate all of you for making the decision to come into this LT for Maths lecture. (said during the 2nd last lecture before promotional exams)
- He use the word interesting, I think he use a very interesting word (I think that is a)
- For this promo paper, we target at 90% pass... for the double maths students. [cries of consternation] This is very standard... 10% of them will join the DFM course next year - Drop F Maths.
- From the Arts Group, we target 60%, so the Single Maths Group will be the average of the two. What this means is very simple - you look at your friend on your left, on your right and in front of you. If you can find one whose maths is worse than you, you are safe. [groans from students] That's why I want random sample. [She'd scrapped the seating arrangement for that day] (our target is)
- Do you make your friends surrounding you feel safe?
- 48/4 [2(1000) + (40-1)12} ( ] ) (written)
- Your farrow classmates (fellow)
- This sort of calcuration, I leave it to you (calculation)
- If a line perpendicular to the plane, it will perpendicular to any line on the plane (is perpendicular, will be perpendicular)
- The questions in Section A are all compulsory, so try to score as many marks as possible.
- Each of the question will not be base on one topic because maths teacher like to eat rojak (questions, based)
- [Going through a question] I don't like this sort of expansion, so I just give you the answer
- Hence, find an approcimate value for root 3 (approximate)
- Actually this sort of question does not make sense. Do you know why do I say that? If we want to use this to find the approximate value of root 3, it must be when the calculator is not available. But if the calculator is not available, how do you sum up all these fractions? (why I say that)
- A lot of times, I cannot say too many things, so it is up to you to ask me questions, so I can say yes or no.
- First of all, let me thank you for your support (said during last lecture before promotional exams)
- Let us continue our homo 99 paper (promo)
- As we know, in the Arven / Oven diagram (Argand)
- When you look at it this way - that's why the constant can be i'nored (ignored)
- [During a test] If you get any extra scripts, your marks will be divided... (question papers)
- Then you check the two rows, see whether there's any im'post'ters (there are any imposters)
- Somebody... want to pretend to be in [2S0]3A. It will not improve your Maths. (wants to pretend)
- If you want to save your appen (effort)
- we denote it as alpha check (It's denoted)
- with the edge of a suitable figure (aid)
- you must give a reason to this (for)
- it says the x3 is negreegeeble (negligible)
- [Teaching the Newton-Rahpson Method] This Newton, really, give us a lot of trouble... Without him, maybe we still live in the cave.
- There's a rabbit change in the gradient (rapid)
- [On what happens if the estimate for linear interpolation is off] It will go in a merry go round.
- Then you just go round and round until you fainted (faint)
- [Maths program ends with a man running and bowing, then a running dog] I think at the end, ah, you will just remember this.
- For those who don't pay attention ah, you will have to take out a coin and toss it.
- Remember to bring a coin during the test.
- The point is at the top of the hill (a maximum point)
- linear inter'perration (interpolation)
- Eh, use your brain, don't just use your hand
- Somebody is sleeping ah... wah, very effective, immediately wake up
- The 315, you have to bracket it. Eh, do you know what I'm talking about?
- "P C. What is that? Perm and Cut?" Maybe she just visit a saloon (salon)
- [On alkenes] All these are organic... organic substances
- hytrogen (hydrogen)
- [On attempts at organic chemistry] Eh, don't laugh at this. I just learn this 2 days ago.
- because this is organic chemistry... organic substance
- The 'C' [carbon] here is the refraction of the 'C' here. I know this. [Students clap] (reflection)
- 2 [drawing of an apple] 1 orange (written)
- I don't know who give me this apple.
- Unless one is green apper and one is red apple (apple)
- Do you need another example for this additional principle? (addition)
- One way [to travel on the MRT train system], go directly, the other way go by Woodlands [ie very far]. Eh some people may like it, especially when they are with... another person.
- Take a croser look of this example and example 1 (closer, at)
- Quite a number of you, ah, are hape'pilly enjoying their... happy hour. (happily)
- The person who is kicked out... will sit there (?)
- You will understand why do I mean by that (what I mean)
- If you do this, it will take more times to press the calculator (time)
- You like this tear'rem? I also don't like. (Pronunciation: tear as in teardrop)
- Wah, some people start applying meditation to see whether they can understand this topic.
- compax numbers (complex)
- today we do the revisions (revision)
- [Explaining an error] I haven't taken my lunch, ah, I'm a bit hungry
- this is y air'siss (axis)
- don't need to bother all those things (bother about)
- this is another approach by considering coins (points)
- apply the mair'turd (method)
- try and find out the quor'tient (quotient)
- same thing as you have a blah'der at home, doesn't mean you must marry first (brother) (???)
- okay, last question before we go for lunch
- [On writing 'QED' - ostensibly 'Quite Easily Done' - after solving a problem] Must write this ah, then you will be confident and can carry on your work (doing your paper)
- ketrahedron (tetrahedron)
- Then you will get a pras b and a minus b [Students: Pras]
- Eh, this simple result will coss us 8 marks (cost - earn)
- Hwhat will be the graph look like (what will)
- This look like the sky book, tien1 shu1 kan4 bu4 dong3 (heavenly book, can't be understood)
- I think ah, there's a group of people who are very happy, because they think they did very well in the Common Test. They get 'E', they get 'D', they get 'C', they're very happy... Because last year they always got 'F'.
- [On the 'ring' and the 'circle' in P C] We don't go to the bottom of the table and look at the people's legs.
- This is by mathematical notation (in)
- This is a important concept (an)
- What if you have a committee of 10, and you must have at least 1 boy and 1 girl? Are you going to do 1 boy 9 girls, 2 boy 8 girl, 3 boy 7 girl... If you do that, ah, I'll go out for a cup of tea first.
- Consitting of 7 and 3 peoples (consisting, people)
- Ok, that's come to the end of the chapter on P C (that's the)
- [Gets names of students sitting on the last row] I know this is not the first time there are people sitting on the last row. Next time, you want to sit at the last row, you think to yourself: What is the probability of getting caught? (on) (She was teaching 'Probability')
- getting an a (ace)
- physic paper (physics)
- wee'men (women)
- the occurent of either event (chance of either event occuring)
- [On a deck of cards] You have As or Bs... all the way to 10 (there're no Bs in a deck)
- [On writing 'QED'] My secondry school teacher totch me this, then I also like writing this, then I ended up as a maths teacher. So you don't copy me, then you become a doctor. (secondary, taught, liked, if you, you will) (She was lecturing the 'Biology' lecture group)
- So just work on the require one (required)
- Wah, I heard something, ho2 lau2... That is a good phrase. That is the Teochew version.
- [On taking a long time to do a question] In Teochew, it's 'after you find this, raining already'
- You don't want to get yourselves settled down? We will start the lesson layder... and go faster. (settle down, later)
- Then he chew and chew until he finished the first one [sweet] (he's)
- Thank you for waiting 5 minutes [making noise for 5 minutes]... so that we can finish this example on the dot of the bell (as the bell rings)
- [On people talking] When I ask you to read the question, does'nt mean that you read it out so loudly (it doesn't)
- Don't always follow me [my way of doing maths], because my gong1fu1 [skill] is higher.
- I think ah, that your english ah, is very bad
- [On the 3 words 'mean', 'standard deviation' and 'variance'] You will see it every day, and I think it will appear in your dream as well (them, they)
- Don't use your common sand... Your common sand may fail (sense)
- Prossaint (Poisson) (Pronunciation: Croissant with a 'P' sound instead of 'C')
- [On the Poisson formula] Do you know why do I keep on saying this [formula]? Because this is a very odd formula, after some time everyone will forget, including me (I)
- Find the probability that the sharp sells more than 2 in a week (shop)
- ah'kay? (okay)
- Do you believe in me? (believe me)
- fr'eums (films)
- [On ellipses - ... s] Eh actually I don't like this. Who know what happened to the dot there (knows, happens)
- [On continuing beyond what she was supposed to teach] You see, I'm relieving Mrs Kwan but I'm willing to do more, you all should appreciate
- simple errimetic calculation (arithmetic)
- don't sit at the stagcase (staircase)
- I think that you do not want me to pull out a chicken ah. The Chinese say, sa4 ji1 jiao4 hou2. Kill the chicken to teach the monkey.
- Don't think that you are at the back ah, I couldn't see you talking (just because you are at the back, I can't)
- [During Maths Common Test] Good afternoon everyone, welcome to the test
- Why do we want to know the probability? Because we want to buy 4D.
- We say that T is an unbuyer estimate of tao (unbiased)
- in the wrong run (long)
- ah'hey? (okay)
- There will be some very tall boys in the crass, and some very short... students in your crass. I don't want to say 'girls' (class)
- So, if you have the same feeling as what I think (I have)
- Don't wait until the last day to eat all of the rice. You will die... And I will die also.
- Then I told the girl, you are qualify S Paper student (a qualified)
- So you chop chop chop chop chop chop chop [divides long block into smaller ones]
- [Students pass notes around and get caught] [Student: We wanted to pass her a note to cheer her up] You all sing a song, to cheer her up... Sing 'happy birthday'... If it is so important and urgent, why don't you invite everyone to cheer her up
- Which ECA will have the shortest people ah? ... [Student: Canoeing] Canoeing ah?... I think it is gymnastics right? They have to be small size so they can swing and swing and swing right. (small-sized)
- I think all of you are very confident - once you hear the word 'confident interval', you are very confident (phrase 'confidence)
- [Handphone rings 3-5 rings, with people going orh! more loudly with each ring] You are very lucky, today my mood is not so bad... Actually I'm thinking of changing my handphone... That day cross country... Your handphone is very tai3 gor1 tai3 ... Eh make sure you all turn off your handphone, or else the next one that rings, I will change it with you (day during, handphones, will be exchanged with mine)
- [Questions memory] Cannot tell you too much. Otherwise, you know how to attack me.
- I choose a member from the basketball team, so the mean [height] is very high. I choose a member from the chess club, the mean [height] is very small.
- You get a sample from the gymnastics team. The mean [height] is 1.50[m]
- Once you memorise it [the phrase], you can leave the LT. Shall I help you remember? We are 95% sure the confident interval includes the population mean... We are 95% certain the confident interval contains the population mean... We... are... Eh, you all leave leh, I don't want to keep on repeating.
- Fasten your safety belt. Today we're going at rocket speed.
- I told you already, rocket speed. When we reach the moon, I will slow down.
- At this point of time, don't use your brain. Just use the calculator. Deet deet deet.
- [On cross-topic questions] The British people, how to say... the British people discover a special thing in South East Asia called Rojak
- envy'dence (evidence)
- [Handphone rings] Wah, this person really interested in my tai3 gor1 tai3 (is really)
- Make sure you all switch off your handphones or else the next time it rings, I will stop the lesson. Now the handphone got timestamp. I can check... Exchange with my tai3 gor1 tai3 for one week (one, handphones have the timestamp feature)
- If there is no evidence, he will be craimed to be not guilty (proclaimed)
- sen'pier limit theorem (central)
- Your private tutor may told you about the sigma square cap (have told)
- this is ee'qwere'rent to sigma square cap in the statistic textbooks (equivalent, statistics)
- those who sit at the rass row, come forward (are sitting, last)
- rejetting the h nought (rejecting)
- this is the state, state 3 (stage)
- Then the teacher craim that the students have not performed as expected. Does this sound familiar? (claims)
- envydent (evidence)
- Do you know what I am doing? Yes ah.
- seconder school (secondary)
- [Takes away transparency] [Cries from students] I thought you are hungry.
- I think you all just sit there and copy, I have to write all this nonsense
- If this question do not reject, then I'll wear purpose (purple)
- [On when she first transferred to a Junior College and attended a Maths Teacher 'Sharing Session'] I said [to my TJ friend], RJC this year, only 41 students didn't get A or B. You know what she said? "Only 11 students never get A or B." You know what I said next? Today the weather very good hor. (an A or a, The weather today is very good)
- Once upon a time, there was a student who studied in one of the top JC of the time, along Bukit Timah Road (JCs)
- [She spent all her time studying] Chemistry... Saturday... Sunday 12 noon... 3pm then she finished... she start looking ass the maths... That night, she couldn't sleep (started, at)
- [On results in the S07 equivalent combination] 3 months pass... She saw, 3As and 1B. The B for Further Maths... She was very disappointed... She took up a teaching scholarship. Maths even though she didn't get a double distinction [in Maths]... So every 2 years, she face a graduating batch, she will tell them this story (passed, when she faces)
- [On vectors] forgot to put the little worm below
- binormal (binomial)
- so who you are? (are you)
- [On JCs] You know the top 5, then you get the next 5, then you get the next 5
- so you see complex numbers involve a lot on geometry (of)
- HJ, JC along Bukit Timah Road
- You know how to go forward, you don't know how to go backward, that is very dan'gerous... After A level, you go party, friend's party... Pasir Ris resort. You go there, you don't know how to go home. (dangerous, levels, go to a, a)
- use the geometry method to get the, the equation (geometric)

--- Apple Woman